I have no idea why my parents didn't name me something cool, like Mad Dog Monday or Muscles Monday. Oh well. At least I have my dog, fartypants. And when things get serious...I become NINJA BOY!Follow NINJA BOY on this hilarious adventure as he deals with...-Sleep Farting in Science Class?-Girlfriend Kidnapping Giants-Stinkalators-Mount Hogsnort henchmen-Evil ninjas-Biff and Lonnie, the bully brothersYeah, it's about to get serious....With charming and hilarious illustrations and creative storytelling, the Diary of NINJA BOY & Fartypants is a must-read for any kid who loves fun adventures! Kids ages 9-13 (even reluctant readers), and middle schoolers can't wait to dive in to these Ninja Boy stories!Be sure to check out book 2, Attack of the Bathroom Pirates!and book 3, Minecraft Dance Party Danger!

    With the help of David Tushingham, he has adapted Salman Rushdie's classic children's novel, Haroun and the Sea of Stories for the stage. Set in an exotic eastern landscape peopled by magicians and fantastic talking animals, Rushdie's novel inhabits the same imaginative space as Gulliver's Travels, Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz. Haroun sets out on an adventure to restore the poisoned source of the sea of stories. On the way he encounters many foes, intent on draining the sea of all its storytelling powers.

    For each craves a change in her life: Devera desires a break from her humdrum marital routine; BiDi longs to reconnect with her distant fourteen-year-old daughter (the only girl on the high school hockey team), not to mention jump-start a sex drive stuck in neutral. So when Devera’s husband decides to fulfill his longtime dream of opening a nightclub in his basement, Your Oasis on Flame Lake arrives not a moment too soon. Nothing fancy, it’s just a BYOB joint where you can hang out, sing, dance, tell jokes, and be yourself. But then an unexpected crisis throws both families into chaos, forcing them all to take stock of their lives—and learn the power of forgiveness.

    So he jumped into his fully alarmed Japanese S.U.V. and drove to American sports shrines for a year, everywhere from Larry Bird's boyhood home in French Lick, Indiana, to the cornfield just outside of Dyersville, Iowa, where Field of Dreams was filmed. Now in paperback, Road Swing is the story of his journey.

    Women have written lewd messages on his body with lipstick, and two guys are using him as a human toilet. Against Kaylee’s wishes, Ivy decides to get involved. She soon learns four things: his name is Bobby; he’s not drunk, but been drugged; he drives a great car; and he’s separated from his wife. Ivy cleans him up, drives him home. When he starts feeling better, they flirt. If you guess she winds up in bed with him, you’re right. But that’s the last thing you’ll guess correctly in this million-mile-an-hour twisting tale! PRELIMINARY COMMENTS Casting Call moves at warp speed! Hilarious! Mind-blowing. Impossible to predict. Locke’s latest has more twists and turns than a Rubik’s Cube! I literally flew through this book. Can’t remember ever turning pages this fast!

    After losing their small business and life savings to the government’s unfathomable shutdown, the author and her husband are forced to sell their home and move into a travel trailer. Still reeling from financial loss and the deaths of two of their beloved dogs, the pair embark on a new life in a trailer park, populated with some of the most unconventional characters you’d ever hope not to meet. There’s Gretchen, the park’s unsympathetic and conniving manager, and her puny, perverted husband, Lloyd, who “maintains” the park grounds and who gives pool algae a bad name. Daisy and Lonnie May are the author’s closest neighbors, and are, perhaps, the park’s most devoted couple. Only Daisy May happens to be Lonnie’s dog. Trailer Dogs will make you laugh, cry, and maybe even a little angry. But it will never make you bored.

    They have lifelong endearing names for each other – Lard Arse and Fat Man. Whilst on a fishing trip in Spain, they hatch a plan to travel around the Iberian Peninsula on motorbikes. No problem for Dave as a proficient biker of many years, but Martin is a complete beginner to riding motorcycles. He doesn’t even have a motorcycle licence. Follow Martin through the trials of taking his bike test, juggling a busy life and planning the journey with Dave while they live in different countries. Nothing can be taken for granted when these two plan anything. When everything is in place their journey through Spain and Portugal begins, starting in Marbella, then riding west along the Spanish coast and up through Portugal, through the northern coast of Spain and over the Pyrenees, finishing with the east coast of Spain and heading back into Marbella. Expect to laugh in places at their simple boyish behavior, as they act like two teenage, middle-aged men with mental age of young men going through puberty. They experience many comical events, as well as close calls for Martin the novice on his first-ever ride out. This book is a light-hearted but a true travel journal of two good friends enjoying their journey on the road in the sun.

    Who doesn’t likes a good session of jokes? If you too are looking to add a little humor to your life and you would love to have some rib cracking laugher sessions, we have a perfect book for you. The internet is a vast repository of jokes and the list is practically too big to handle. However, not all jokes are funny and damn, we all know how much it frustrates to read a joke (and some pathetically long ones too) and then end up wondering WTF, where did that go!Heck, I didn’t even twitch an eyelid, leave apart laughing. So, to spare you from all such bloopers... We have brought for you the best jokes of 2016, compiled all together. We have spanned multiple dimensions and we are sure that you can’t have a straight face as you read the jokes. They are just too funny to simply smile. We had a cracker of a time compiling it as we broke into fits of laughter. So, are you all set to truly have a fun ride by dabbling on the best jokes that were hot on the internet?

    

    But that's the easy part. The hard part is trying to raise her two teenage sons, Tyrell and Yusuf. She loves to read-- they'd rather play video games. She likes to eat healthy -- they'd rather eat junk food. She loves ol' school music -- they listen to hip hop. But it would all be worth it if they ever came to realize that all she wants to do is to keep them happy and safe. Based on the popular Mama's Boyz syndicated comic strip.

    One of the chapters in each trivia book was “Disturbing Facts about Our World”. I decided to fill an entire volume with facts about upsetting crimes and mayhem, combined with unbelievable yet real instances of misfortune and misery. This is a book where grim examples of bigotry and hypocrisy are intertwined with amusing stories of bad luck. In the spirit of the times we live in, I dedicated a whole chapter to COVID-19 trivia and weird medical conditions. I am well aware that many potential readers might be overwhelmed by the condensed negativity, but hey… a fact is a fact! Continue to read if you are curious to learn:- Why were the trousers of New Zealand’s farmers exploding?- What is the depressing origin of the phrase “Hip Hip, Hooray”?- Why did the Spanish Habsburgs royal family sleep with human mummies?- Why was it legal in Iceland until 2015 to kill Basque people?- Who was the “Deep Throat” informer from the Watergate scandal?- How many people were killed trying to cross the notorious Berlin Wall?- Why do snakes make a better pet than cats or dogs?- How can millipedes cause a train crash?- What is the etymology of “thug”?- What are the chances of getting killed by rubbish falling from space?- How did polygamist men in Kuwait manage to visit all their wives during the coronavirus lockdown?However incredible these pieces of trivia might sound, all entries have been verified and fact-checked.

     Hot bikers, sassy women, and love stories to melt your heart. Gambler’s Longshot Opposites attract, or so they say. With Gwen constantly throwing sass and questioning every word that comes out of Gambler’s mouth, Gambler and Gwen maybe the first couple to prove that saying wrong. All Gambler wants to do is keep Gwen safe and that’s it. He never expected the unwanted attraction and the need to protect her no matter what. Gambler’s intentions maybe true, but Gwen has learned the hard way that things are not always what they seem. Can Gambler persuade Gwen to take a chance on him, or will all bets be off? Keeping Meg After years of heartbreak and being married to the wrong man, Meg has finally found what she always wanted with Lo. Except there’s one problem. Lo is keeping something from Meg and Meg is more than determined to figure out what it is. Will they make it down the aisle and ride off into the sunset, or will life get in the way and have Meg make a decision she might regret for the rest of her life? Fighting Demon A shared past that no one knew about until Demon and Paige’s worlds collided again. Demon and Paige both made mistakes eight years ago, tearing apart the love they had for each other. Now, Demon has Paige in his sights again, and he isn’t going to let her go. But things aren’t always what they seem. Could Demon and Paige be over before they even start again, or will the past fade, making room for the ending they’ve always wanted? Unraveling Fayth Fayth doesn’t know what she wants anymore. Torn between the life she used to live or staying in Rockton, Fayth can’t decide which future she wants. All she knows is that the one man who won’t leave her side is the one man who is taking over her heart. Everyday Slider relives the moment he thought he had lost Fayth before he even had the chance to have her. Now, with Fayth back in Rockton, he’s never letting her out of his sight. Although, someone else has other plans Danger is lurking, and Slider is the one man that will keep her safe. He let her down once. He’ll never let it happen again. The score is finally settled in this thrilling conclusion to the Devil’s Knights Series.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    Along with fantasizing about marrying George Clooney, Ferris is faced with a plethora of other insomnia-induced thoughts and activities, from googling old boyfriends to researching obscure and fatal diseases on the web, from scouting five-star spa destinations to having angry, bitter, e-mail exchanges with her brother. She worries endlessly about her husband, relies heavily on Ambien, and tries to arrange care via the Internet for her mother (who has both severe dementia and a massive love-bubble crush on Jesus Christ) all while refraining from lighting up just one more cigarette. Marrying George Clooney explores a range of emotions experienced through this life-altering period. In this candid look at "the change," Ferris offers a humorous spin on a not-so-funny topic.

    He wears his temper like a badge of honor, would rather step over a homeless beggar than walk around him, and engages in petty warfare with his staff over expense receipts. He's also never been much bothered with monogamy, but when one morning he spontaneously seduces his temp in an office storeroom, he's definitely crossed a line in blatancy. Miller has made few friends and many enemies—not to mention the fact that the storeroom is a notorious trysting place and he and the temp both emerge covered in dust and airmail stickers—so the news doesn’t take long to reach his cold, beautiful wife. Conveniently, it just happens to be their anniversary. Imagine the celebratory dinner, capped by her returning her house keys and consummating her desire to sleep with the neighbor.Not a man to suffer rejection well, Miller heads for a London media hangout, where two employees introduce him to cocaine. By morning, his exploits are public (a photographer captured him snorting the cocaine in public), his career is over (thanks to a damning interview he gave a journalist from a rival paper), he's not only painted the word 'WANKER' on the cuckolding neighbor's car, but misspelled it, and his house is on fire (never leave a goodbye bonfire of wedding photos unattended). . . . Clearly, it’s time to leave town. Miller has an engagement to speak to the boys at his old prep school, but he can't seem to stop pouring gasoline on the fire that his life has become, showing up hungover after a night partying with an old school friend and a gaggle of Spanish flight attendants, and calling the headmaster by his behind-the-back nickname of "Stiffo" to the students, for a start. After the speech, he speaks with his doctor and learns that his father-in-law plans to kill him.Leigh, the old school friend, works for an English language school in Barcelona, and Miller wrangles its address out of him, for he clearly can't go home. He gets the job and adapts surprisingly well to a life of an underpaid teacher, despite the fact that some of his students will clearly never learn the language (there are hilarious scenes of their attempts in this section) and even starts up a romance with a tough-talking English girl who's one of his fellow teachers—but he doesn't tell her who he really is when he has the opportunity, and when she figures it out on her own she is livid and that bridge is burnt. To make matters worse, his father-in-law's goons have tracked him down.Miller flees again, winding up in Florida, in a town populated by ex-circus freaks and presided over by the Half Man, a criminal and sadist with no legs who welcomes Miller to town by shoving a gun barrel in his mouth and breaking his teeth. But ironically, it seems that despite the fleas in his trailer, the one-eyed albino hit man who seems to overhear every compromising conversation between Miller and the Half Man’s beautiful wife the Lizard Woman, and the fact that the Half Man’s stranglehold on the local police mean that Miller isn’t actually free to leave, it seems that Miller somehow belongs among the freaks. These misfits—among them a black dwarf, a gay clown with a penchant for altar boys, a heroin addict who is their unlicensed doctor, a biker hit man named Hollis after Grove’s erstwhile publicist, and the Lizard Woman’s wonderful eight-year-old daughter—unwittingly teach Miller what normal life never could—how to love, and how to stand up for something he truly believes in. When Miller's wife tracks him down and has him sign over the spoils of his old life to her, he gets enough money out of her to hire the albino to hit the Half Man. And though all certainly does not go smoothly with the hit—someone as vicious as the Half Man is unlikely to go quietly—Miller and the Lizard Woman are able to close that chapter and start a new life together.