Frank Sinatra's mother was a convicted felon. Bugs Bunny was born in Brooklyn. The average American home contains $90 in loose change. It is illegal to use the American flag in advertising.And there's no good reason to also discover...Which game show host previously worked as a garbageman. Which day of week is the most popular to rob a bank. Which millionaire loaned his kidnapped grandson ransom money at 4 percent interest. Which country once had a dog for a king.

    From the office TGIF (the overgrown frat boy in the office who always says “party”) to the Lieberal (a Democrat with Republican sympathies), from Uncle Tomatoes (Italians who hate The Sopranos) to Cherohonkees (white Baby Boomers who dress like Native Americans), each profile offers a detailed description of everything from sex appeal and favorite pick-up lines to popular names and habitats. The result is both a brilliant parody and thorough outing of just about every neurosis, attribute, and personality type there is.

    Most of all, it’s about the difficulties of staying on the planet when it’s spinning out of control.While taking a humorous look at health, grandparenthood, computers, and social issues, How to Succeed… answers such pressing questions as: What brand of yogurt guarantees you will live to 110? Can older people really shop online, or is the "submit order" button visible only to users under 30? And how many pixels does it take to win your grandchild’s affection?As we get older, we can whine or complain about our losses--memory, muscles, and mobility--or we can roll with the paunches. This book rolls.

    The bloke can write. He rhapsodizes about heroin better than anyone since Jim Carroll. With the flick of his enviable pen, he can summarize childhood thus: ‘My very first utterance in life was not a single word, but a sentence. It was, ‘Don’t do that.’... Russell Brand has a compelling story." — New York Times Book ReviewThe gleeful and candid New York Times bestselling autobiography of addiction, recovery, and rise to fame from Russell Brand, star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and one of the biggest personalities in comedy today.Picking up where he left off in My Booky Wook, movie star and comedian Russell Brand details his rapid climb to fame and fortune in a shockingly candid, resolutely funny, and unbelievably electrifying tell-all: Booky Wook 2. Brand’s performances in Arthur, Get Him to the Greek, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall have earned him a place in fans’ hearts; now, with a drop of Chelsea Handler’s Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, a dash of Tommy Lee’s Dirt, and a spoonful of Nikki Sixx’s The Heroin Diaries, Brand goes all the way—exposing the mad genius behind the audacious comic we all know (or think we know) and love (or at least, lust).

    

    Along the way, readers join the author in discovering: • The scary side of fishing; • Why it’s wrong when board games become blood sports; • The unexpected connection between cooking classes and true romance; • How the author's cat convinced him to take up yoga (and why that was a terrible idea); • Golfing for the ball challenged; • The thrill of jumping out of an airplane without risking your life; • The eternal appeal of Elly May Clampett; and, • How to do nothing without feeling guilty about it.

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    From New York Times bestselling Shel Silverstein, celebrated creator of Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, and Falling Up, comes an amazing collection of never-before-published poems and drawings.Have you ever read a book with everything on it? Well, here it is! You will say Hi-ho for the toilet troll, get tongue-tied with Stick-a-Tongue-Out-Sid, play a highly unusual horn, and experience the joys of growing down.What's that? You have a case of the Lovetobutcants? Impossible! Just come on in and let the magic of Shel Silverstein bend your brain and open your heart.And don't miss Runny Babbit Returns, the new book from Shel Silverstein!

    And now readers can also search for Woof, Wenda, Wizard Whitebeard, Odlaw, and much more—all newly added to this special edition!

    Together, they must complete three dangerous quests, locate the unicorn, and help Evan find his way home before Queen Mother destroys everything--and before the Fartleks go berserk, or the Seven Knights of the Week throw them in jail, or King Flibbertigibbet freaks out again, or the Dancing Danes try to make their lives unbearably happy.

    Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! KINDLE UNLIMITED & AMAZON PRIME can read this book for FREE! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 100+ knock knock funny jokes Excellent for early and beginner readers Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny and hilarious knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults BONUS INCLUDED --> FREE Joke Book Download 101 Funny Jokes (see link inside) Download a free joke book with purchase of this book! From this Funny Joke Book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Bless!Bless who?I didn’t sneeze! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Auntie!Auntie who?Auntie glad to see me again! HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Zeke!Zeke who?Zeke and ye shall find! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Arnie!Arnie who!Arnie having fun? HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Carl!Carl who?Carl get you there faster than walking will! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny knock knock jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, food, joke book, knock knock book, ebook, books, funny, knock knock jokes, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, kids books, funny knock knock jokes, joke book, food book, joke books, hilarious, lol, laughing, laughter, knock knock, funny jokes, funny joke book, book for kids, kindle book, kindle ebook, joke, jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for children, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, funny jokes, jokes online, comedy, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, ages5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, comedy, humor, preteen, young adult laughing, kids comedy

    A look at the absurdities of modern life.

    After growing up in an Irish Catholic household, he was sent to a grammar school run by priests, from which he eventually emerged unscathed. A combination of O Levels and rock ’n’ roll led him into the bowels of Manchester’s club land, where he worked alongside strippers and Chinese strongman acts while revising the War of Jenkin’s Ear.Testosterone and guilt struggled for mastery in his lapsing Catholic chest and trousers until testosterone won and, with guilt still on his back like Quasimodo’s hump, he toured the dancehalls of Northern England in a VW panel van, taking rock ’n’ roll to one-horse towns where the horse had bolted.Warm, nostalgic and very funny, Mike Harding’s memoir of his early life in post-war Manchester is as idiosyncratic and engaging as the man himself.

    CNN has described him as "having the world's most interesting job." Read about Lansky's experiences: fending off hippos with a canoe paddle on the Zambezi Rivertest driving Ferraris in Italysurviving the world's largest tomato fight in Spainswimming with dolphins off the coast of New Zealandblowgun hunting with the Jaguar Indians in the Amazonriding an ostrich in South Africalassoing reindeer above the Arctic Circlewrestling an alligator in Floridaplaying ice golf in Finland

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.