A brilliant tale of ineptitude, self-righteousness, and human folly, it combines the mordant wit of W. Somerset Maugham with a sense of humor reminiscent of P.G. Wodehouse.When Dr. Sydney Prout is named the head of the United Nations mission to Elephant Island, he believes he is more than ready to meet the challenge of guiding its primitive inhabitants into the post-Colonial era, and eventually, full independence. But neither his many academic credentials nor the Journal of Race Relations have prepared Dr. Prout to reckon with the unrepentant bloody-mindedness of the natives, or anticipate the inventive ways their tribal philosophers will incorporate the most unlikely aspects of modern civilization into their religious lore and traditional way of life.Author Owen Stanley is an Australian explorer, a philosopher, and a poet who speaks seven languages. He is at much at home in the remote jungles of the South Pacific as flying his Staudacher aerobatic plane, deep-sea diving, or translating the complete works of Charles Darwin into Tok Pisin.

    This wasn't always the case, but years in the soul-shattering world of retail have made Wade a bitter, cynical young man. Impeded by a lack of direction and nearly infinite levels apathy, Wade idles through his days avoiding waves of annoying customers, his obtrusive boss and any kind of work in general. When a management opportunity makes itself available Wade finds himself facing an unprecedented weekend of opportunity and distraction, a gauntlet of women he can't begin to understand, and a potential mental breakdown that could destroy his personal and professional life at once.

    Not only did his girlfriend break his heart at work - and in front of all of the video - store patronsbut he just got fired. On the way home, Matt decides to quiet his aching heart with a brief detour to a garage sale. When an ancient-looking helmet calls to him as "the Chosen One," exhorting him to don the mantle of the "Valhalladrim," Matt touches it with trembling fingers-and is jolted by raw magical power. Holy crap Is he going to be a superhero? Is this why he always felt special even when everyone else thought he was a loser? Then the helm gets a sense of whom it's dealing with. Suddenly, it changes its tune: "I was mistaken. You are not the chosen one. Good day." But for once in his life, Matt's not taking no for an answer. Not today.

    Jarvis may be an all-round irritant, but he's harmless & deep down he's got a heart of gold. As his oldest (& only) friend reflects on his life with Jarvis Ham, he wonders what it would have been like if they had never met.

    But after he purchased it for a million dollars, Ben Holiday discovered that there were a few details the ad had failed to mention. Such as the fact that the kingdom was falling into ruin. The barons refused to recognize a king and taxes hadn't been collected for years. The dragon, Strabo, was laying waste to the countryside, while the evil witch, Nightshade, was plotting to destroy no less than everything. And if that weren't enough for a prospective king to deal with, Ben soon learned that the Iron Mark, terrible lord of the demons, challenged all pretenders to the throne of Landover to a duel to the death - a duel no mere mortal could hope to win. But Ben Holiday had one human trait that even magic couldn't overcome. Ben Holiday was stubborn.

    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    When another boy vanishes, parents begin to worry about their children. When bodies turn up in the local river, cut to pieces, stuffed inside industrial-strength black trash bags, the town begins to shut down.The day that Brandon Grey is last seen walking home from school by teachers, two young boys are starting a street hockey game. A man stops at the end of their block, takes a picture of them, and drives off. All they catch is the model and color of the car he’s driving.Jake and Colin, fueled by their ambition to form a detective club, decide to go searching for the car that haunts them. They soon take it upon themselves to find Brandon Grey. As tensions in town rise, and so does the body count, they find themselves deep in a mystery they never bargained for, closer to the serial killer than they could have ever imagined.

    This plant is used exclusively to comply with the extremely complicated ritual laws set down in the Tablets of Enku.

    Packed with laughs, it has 29 stories ranging from lighthearted whimsy to the wild and zany.Inside you’ll find a zombear, tweeting aliens, down-on-their-luck vampires, time twisting belly dancers, moon nazis, stoned computers, omnivorous sex-maniac pandas, and a spell-casting Albert Einstein.INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING STORIES:“El and Al vs. Himmler’s Horrendous Horde from Hell” by Mike Resnick“The Alchemist’s Children” by Nathaniel Lee“Moon Landing” by Lavie Tidhar“Fight Finale from the Near Future” by James Beamon“Love Thy Neighbors” by Ken Liu“The Alien Invasion As Seen In The Twitter Stream of @dweebless” by Jake Kerr“Dreaming Harry” by Stephanie Burgis“The Last Dragon Slayer” by Chuck Rothman“The Real Thing” by Don Sakers“2001 Revisited via 1969″ by Bruce Golden“The Working Stiff” by Matt Mikalatos“Temporal Shimmies” by Jennifer Pelland“One-Hand Tantra” by Ferrett Steinmetz“Of Mat and Math” by Anatoly Belilovsky“Timber!” by Scott Almes“Go Karts of the Gods” by Michael Kurland“No Silver Lining” by Zach Shephard“If You Act Now” by Sergey Lukyanenko“My Kingdom for a Horse” by Stephen D. Rogers“First Date” by Jamie Lackey“All I Want for Christmas” by Siobhan Gallagher“Venus of Willendorf” by Deborah Walker“An Unchanted Sword” by Jeff Stehman“The Day They Repossessed my Zombies” by K.G. Jewell“The Fifty One Suitors of Princess Jamatpie” by Leah Cypess“The Secret Life of Sleeping Beauty” by Charity Tahmaseb“The Velveteen Golem” by David Sklar“The Worm’s Eye View” by Jody Lynn Nye“Cake from Mars” by Marko Kloos

    Each flight contains a dreadful monster, ranging from a diamond-scaled dragon to a pack of slavering goblins. Should a prince battle his way to the top, he will be rewarded with a golden sword—and the lovely Princess Floralinda. But no prince has managed to conquer the first flight yet, let alone get to the fortieth. In fact, the supply of fresh princes seems to have quite dried up.And winter is closing in on Floralinda…

    Chapters: The Stars' Tennis Balls, Making History, the Liar, the Ode Less Travelled: Unlocking the Poet Within, Moab Is My Washpot, the Hippopotamus, Paperweight, Stephen Fry's Incomplete and Utter History of Classical Music. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: The Stars' Tennis Balls is a psychological thriller novel by Stephen Fry, first published in 2000. In the United States, the title was changed to Revenge. In the Afterword to the 2003 American edition, Fry admits that the story "is a straight steal, virtually identical in all but period and style to Alexandre Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo" but denies plagiarism, since Dumas also admits that the plot was taken from a contemporary urban legend. The main character, Edward (Ted/Tedward) Maddstone, is a seventeen year old schoolboy who appears to be the sort of person for whom everything goes right. He is captain of school, talented at sports and following in the footsteps of his father towards Oxford University, then a career in politics. He is happy and has fallen in love with a girl called Portia. But a few bizarre twists and turns of fate ensure that his life is turned upside down. As mentioned above, the plot is extremely similar to the story of The Count of Monte Cristo. The original title comes from a quotation taken from John Webster's The Duchess of Malfi. In full it reads: "We are merely the stars' tennis balls, struck and banded which way please them." The novel's dedication reads simply "To M'Colleague" - "M'Colleague" being the name by which Fry and Hugh Laurie referred to each other in their TV sketch show A Bit of Fry and Laurie.

    No one remembers why anymore or over what. No one dreams it could ever end until a wizard creates a sword that makes its user unbeatable.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    So when she and her mom move back to their sleepy southern hometown to start over, she thinks she’s in for a life of quiet normalcy. Except that her new life turns out to be anything but, when she kinda sorta hypnotizes Quinton, the hottest guy on the football team, to fall madly, deeply, head over heels in love with her. But what started out as an innocent way to make her best friend, Max, jealous soon gets way out of hand, and Willow begins to wonder if the mind—and more importantly, the heart—is something you can really control.

    The men grow horns, and obey females until they "choose". She inherits her gran’s Calgary junk shop with fey mailboxes and the Monkey's Paw. Leprechaun Joe can help sell yo-yos. Tabloid reporter Graham bats very blue eyes and beds her. But when dragons fly overhead can even the Aunties save the day?