While misunderstandings surrounding these communities prevail, BDSM sexuality cuts across race, gender, nationality, and sexual orientation. BDSM describes forms of sexuality that incorporate restraint, pressure, sensation, training, and elements of both erotic and non-erotic power exchange between the engaged parties. Some BDSM "scenes" include role-playing, spanking, blindfolds, ropes, and erotic costuming. Sexual Outsiders is designed as a guide for BDSM community members who must wade through the quagmire of unique problems they face: coming out to family, friends and partners; distinguishing abusive relationships from healthy consensual ones; finding and developing community; overcoming shame and denial; exploring whether BDSM sexuality can be a healing tool; gaining access to quality, culturally competent psychotherapy; and finding strategies to develop a healthy sexual self-esteem in the face of current medical and social standards that view them as sick or pathological. The book also serves as an educational primer for those whose partners, friends, and family members are involved in BDSM. In terms of challenges faced by BDSM communities, the most significant is living with a stigmatized sexuality shame, prejudice, discrimination, isolation, depression, and a lack of adequate, competent mental health care. Issues such as coming out as a sexual minority, finding community and partners, and dealing with scenes and relationships that go wrong are some the common experiences shared by members of BDSM communities. Sexual Outsiders employs common sense, good humor, and vivid anecdotes while incorporating basic ideas about human behavior, psychology, philosophy, interviews, history, and clinical case studies to illustrate the real lives and experiences of men and women in BDSM communities. Anyone wanting to learn more about this unique, and more-common-than-you-think expression of sexuality, will find in these pages insight into the various challenges BDSM practitioners face, and the many strengths that people in the BDSM communities have developed in the face of social stigma and prejudice.

    Margot Weiss’s research entailed attending dungeon play parties, workshops on SM techniques, and business meetings of the Society of Janus, one of America’s oldest BDSM organizations. She interviewed more than sixty SM practitioners, including dungeon owners, well-known prodommes (professional dominants), and community experts. Weiss vividly evokes the feel of the BDSM scene in San Francisco area in the early 2000s.At the same time, she challenges notions of SM as inherently transgressive, revealing a technique-oriented community, largely organized around classes, rules, and the acquisition of expensive sex toys. Most members of the Bay Area’s BDSM community were white, heterosexual, middle-aged, well-off, and involved in long-term relationships.Weiss analyzed SM “scenes”—sexual encounters involving roles, costumes, and props—including dramatizations of slave markets and the creation of the Abu Ghraib photographs. She contends that such performances eroticize social inequality, reproducing hierarchies based on race, ethnicity, gender, and sexuality, rather than offering a safe space, separate from real-world inequities.

    Philosophical and intense, SlaveCraft dares to delve beneath the surface of D/s relationships and give us an intimate and revealing view from a rare perspective--that of a slave.

    If you are new to dominance, still figuring out just what it’s all about or what you want it to mean to you, then this book will provide you with a solid foundation from which to start. If you already practice dominance and are interested in improving your ability to create deep and lasting power dynamics then you’ll find many advanced concepts and concrete techniques to integrate into your own personal style. What consensual dominance means here is any kind of intentional, mutually desired, mutually fulfilling exercise of power and control between partners. There are a lot of different kinds of connections that fit that broad definition, and the fundamental principles that this book explores can be applied to any of them. So it should be just as valuable whether you practice dominance in occasional intense evenings within an otherwise egalitarian relationship, in a full-time power exchange relationship, in long distance or online relationships, in pick-up play with strangers at BDSM clubs, or anywhere else. This book also doesn’t assume that you fit any stereotype about what a person who dominates should look or act like. It looks at dominance as a practice -- as something that any person can learn to do, rather than something that some people are -- and it is meant for anyone with a desire to learn to practice dominance well. It is written to be accessible to absolute beginners, as well as to switches and primals and tops and mommies and daddies and bigs and masters and trainers and Goreans and heads-of-house and owners and label-defying powerplayers. (And don’t worry if you have no idea what any of those labels means – dominance has nothing to do with labels.) If you have an interest in the bedrock principles of inspiring, deepening, maintaining and enjoying control over a person who dearly, desperately wants you to control them, then this book is for you.

    It's about the processes involved, about taking control, using control, about ensuring that you have control, and-importantly-about giving control back once you are done with it. The book discusses how this works-the psychology of it-and looks at what can go right, and at what can go wrong and how to fix it. It considers the role of authority in the equation, and looks at how to manage the control you have over someone so that it is both effective and rewarding for you both. I believe that a very large part of the activities which we include under the umbrella of BDSM rely explicitly or implicitly on control being asserted over one person by another. My goal in this book is to talk about control, explain what it is, demonstrate it, show how to take it, how to give it, how to manage it, and more. I want you, the reader, to be aware of the ebb and flow of control around you and through you.

    Why is it that we usually only hear about a few of these ways? From housework to driving to child care to personal care, nearly anyone who is in service (or who would like to be) has dozens of skills they already know that they can offer as a service, and there are countless more practical everyday skills they can learn. Real Service is a handbook for service-oriented submissives and the people they serve, providing techniques to help a service relationship function smoothly, and suggestions for service that can be offered.

    We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's why we do it. But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic. The right blend of trust, fantasy, and sensuality creates an intensely erotic and deeply intimate stew. We take away our lovers' freedom and lead them to profound liberty. We peer into the dark together, transforming it to light. In these pages you will find clear explanations for the curious, and solid advice, safety measures and steamy suggestions for the adventurous. Allow us to guide you through the captivating realms of sensuality, dreamed of by millions, realized by few, and understood by fewer still.

    Many of us know that hypnosis doesn't really have the kind of mind-melting power we see in movies. Still, we can't help but get turned on at the thought of either controlling someone, or being controlled by someone, into doing things we've been told we shouldn't do ... but really, inside, kind of want to.In this book, Mark Wiseman (Wiseguy) will teach you how to put your partner into a hypnotic trance safely and effectively. Then the fun begins as you learn how to:Create or intensify arousal and desire Turn their entire body into an erogenous zone eager for your touch Get kinky with hypnotic bondage, flogging, or tickling Give them intense pleasure using his Five-Point Palm Exploding Orgasm technique and more! Whether you are new to hypnosis or have already learned the basics, Mind Play will give you the tools you need to become a skilled, responsible erotic hypnotist.

    This groundbreaking anthology looks at the history of the leather and S/M movement.

    And each one of them is surrounded by a constellation of friends, lovers, parents, children and co-workers who may feel frightened, concerned, hurt or bewildered by lifestyles they don't understand.Now, for anyone who's ever overhead a conversation, glimpsed a toy, or been startled by a tattoo, there's When Someone You Love Is Kinky, a sympathetic and comprehensive handbook for helping you understand the behaviors and lifestyles of the people you care about. Therapist Dossie Easton and writer/sex educator Catherine A. Liszt team up once again to help allay your fears and uncertainties and build bridges of communication that will last a lifetime.

    While the topics are exotic and erotic, the authors handle each one in a sensitive, thorough, analytical, and fascinating way and manage to explain a secret world to those who might wish to visit.

    This book defines and explains more real-life sexual fetishes than anyone has imagined to date. In plain and playful language, bestselling author Violet Blue shows readers how to enjoy sexual fetishes as a healthy sex toy just like any other, no matter how ordinary or unusual. This completely revised, updated and expanded second edition makes Fetish Sex the most complete book on sexual fetishes available.Think you might have a fetish? This guide tells you if you do, or not. And if you do, this is where to learn how to make the most of it in safety, pleasure and answers questions about sharing fetishes. The truth is, "normal" sex is exactly the kind of sex you enjoy.Fetish Sex is packed with information and guidance for individuals of all genders and sexual orientations, for singles and solos, for couples, and for sex educators everywhere. Fetishes are clearly defined; rubber, medical, age-play, human animals, panties, corsets, shoes, body parts, Japanese curiosities, human dolls, cross-dressing, sissies, strange or shocking, extreme and impossible fetishes, and much more are included in detail.Fetish Sex features several explicit erotic short stories by novelist Thomas Roche, graphically illustrating sex with different fetishes. Resources include websites, fetish entertainment, etiquette, safety, books, communities, and information on finding fetish-aware therapists.This guide is for understanding, controlling and making the most of your - or your lover’s - fetish.

    In Sacred Kink you will explore and find practical tools involving: - Negotiation, Communication and Aftercare for Sacred Kink - Catharsis, Top Trances and Exorcising Personal Demons - Ordeals, Earning Leathers, and Ending Relationships - Energetically Transmitted Diseases and Solo Sex Magic - Creating Ritual Play Spaces and Dedicated Tools - Developing Rituals for Dominance and Submission - Pain Processing and the Dialysis of Desire - Erotic Shapeshifting and Possession Workings - The Spiritual Calling of Mastery and Slavery - Kink and Chemistry Ethics - ...and so much more. Whether you're a seasoned explorer or have never delved into the depths, you hold in your hand a roadmap, a set of keys, and an invitation to journey on your own path of Sacred Kink.

    Tens of thousands learned the emotional and ethical skills of BDSM topping from the first `Topping Book.` Now, in addition to the sage advice and good humor that made the first edition a classic, the authors tackle some of the issues that have come up for tops in the last six years: on-line domination, the challenges and rewards of `lifestyle` relationships, ensuring our own and our partners` safety, and more.

    Out of print for several years, this classic is now available once again, now in a revised and updated second edition in a quality trade binding.From its advice on "Stalking the Wild Submissive" to its extensive Resource Guide, "The Loving Dominant" offers perhaps the greatest breadth of subject of any basic BDSM guide available today -- including some basic toymaking patterns and an entire chapter on BDSM photography!