This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

    or just learn more about how languages work with the same accurate yet fun approach as the original LCK.

    Where do these would-be novelists go wrong? Are the characters dull and cliched? Did the story arc collapse? Did they succumb to a dreaded bout of -writer's block-? Or maybe it was all just taking too long?These problems used to stop writers in their tracks, but nothing will get in your way after reading Write Your Novel in a Month. Author and instructor Jeff Gerke has created the perfect tool to show you how to prepare yourself to write your first draft in as little as 30 days. With Jeff's help, you will learn how to organize your ideas, create dynamic stories, develop believable characters, and flesh out the idea narrative for your novel--and not just for the rapid-fire first draft. Jeff walks you through the entire process, from initial idea to the important revision stage, and even explains what to do with your novel once you've finished.Whether you are participating in National Novel Writing Month or you're simply hoping to complete a draft over winter break or your vacation, this book covers the entire scope of writing a novel and lays out exactly what you need to know to get it done fast and right.

    So you want to write a novel? Great! That's a worthy goal, no matter what your reason. But don't settle for just writing a novel. Aim high. Write a novel that you intend to sell to a publisher. Writing Fiction for Dummies is a complete guide designed to coach you every step along the path from beginning writer to royalty-earning author. Here are some things you'll learn in "Writing Fiction for Dummies" * Strategic Planning: Pinpoint where you are on the roadmap to publication; discover what every reader desperately wants from a story; home in on a marketable category; choose from among the four most common creative styles; and learn the self-management methods of professional writers.* Writing Powerful Fiction: Construct a story world that rings true; create believable, unpredictable characters; build a strong plot with all six layers of complexity of a modern novel; and infuse it all with a strong theme.* Self-Editing Your Novel: Psychoanalyze your characters to bring them fully to life; edit your story structure from the top down; fix broken scenes; and polish your action and dialogue.* Finding An Agent and Getting Published: Write a query letter, a synopsis, and a proposal; pitch your work to agents and editors without fear.Writing Fiction For Dummies takes you from being a "writer" to being an "author." It can happen--if you have the talent and persistence to do what you need to do.

    It's like a CT Scan that takes a photo of the global story and tells the editor or writer what is working, what is not, and what must be done to make what works better and fix what's not. The Story Grid breaks down the component parts of stories to identify the problems. And finding the problems in a story is almost as difficult as the writing of the story itself (maybe even more difficult.) The Story Grid is a tool with many applications: 1. It will tell a writer if a Story "works" or "doesn't work." 2. It pinpoints story problems but does not emotionally abuse the writer, revealing exactly where a Story (not the person creating the Story...the Story) has failed. 3. It will tell the writer the specific work necessary to fix that Story's problems. 4. It is a tool to re-envision and resuscitate a seemingly irredeemable pile of paper stuck in an attic drawer. 5. It is a tool that can inspire an original creation. Shawn Coyne is a twenty-five year book-publishing veteran. He's acquired, edited, published or represented works from James Bamford, John Brenkus, James Lee Burke, Barbara Bush, Dick Butkus, Harlan Coben, Nellie Connally, Michael Connelly, Robert Crais, Ben Crenshaw, Catherine Crier, Brett Favre, David Feherty, John Feinstein, Tyler Florence, Jim Gant, Col. David H. Hackworth, Jamie Harrison, Mo Hayder, William Hjortsberg, Stephen Graham Jones, Jon Krakauer, David Leadbetter, Alan Lomax, David Mamet, Troon McAllister, Robert McKee, Matthew Modine, Bill Murray, Joe Namath, John J. Nance, Jack Olsen, Scott Patterson, Steven Pressfield, Matthew Quirk, Anita Raghavan, Ian Rankin, Ruth Rendell, Jerry Rice, Giora Romm, Tim Rosaforte, William Safire, Dava Sobel, Michael Thomas, Nick Tosches, Ann Scott Tyson, Minette Walters, Betty White, Randy Wayne White, Steven White, and Don Winslow among many others. During his years as an editor at the Big Five publishing houses, as an independent publisher, as a literary agent both at a major Hollywood talent agency and as head of Genre Management Inc., and as a bestselling co-writer and ghostwriter, Coyne created a methodology called The Story Grid to teach the editing craft.

    In addition to the basics of characterization, plot, pacing, and theme, A Writer's Guide to Fiction also features a plan for revising fiction, a guide to marketing, samples of cover and query letters, and methods of honing the writing craft.

    Writer's will discover: Why boldness beats blandness in queries every time; The 10 basics they must have in their article queries; The 10 query blunders that can destroy publication chances; How to rocket a query right past the slush pile; What a book proposal is, why itis needed and how to write it; How to dramatize a novel with a query/synopsis package; How to make a big impression with a little cover letter; Wood includes chapter-ending Question & Answer sections that clarify issues concerning the type of letter at hand. He's also packed the book with illustrative examples.

    Those with heart conditions or frail demeanors should not read* * *500 MORE WAYS TO BE A BETTER WRITER is the sequel to 500 WAYS TO BE A BETTER WRITER (which is itself a sequel to 250 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WRITING).Nab this book and you’ll find within a series of lists geared toward enlightening you with the short sharp satori smack of dubious writing wisdom. The book contains a veritable avalanche of writing advice meant to help novelists, screenwriters and other storytellers better understand topics near and dear to the penmonkey existence. The book answers questions such as, “How do I find my voice? What should I know about procuring an agent? How do I find the proper story structure for my story? Where are my pants?”500 MORE WAYS contains the following:25 Financial F**k-Ups Writers Make 25 Mistakes To Look For In Your Writing 25 Reasons Readers Will Keep Reading Your Story 25 Reasons Readers Will Quit Reading Your Story 25 Reasons Writers Are Bug-F**k Nuts 25 Things I Want To Say To So-Called “Aspiring” Writers 25 Things Writers Should Know About Blogging 25 Things Writers Should Know About Agents 25 Things Writers Should Start Doing (As Soon As Possible) 25 Things Writers Should Stop Doing (Starting Right Now) 25 Things You Should Know About Narrative Structure 25 Things You Should Know About Protagonists 25 Things You Should Know About Rejection 25 Things You Should Know About Setting 25 Things You Should Know About Suspense And Tension In Storytelling 25 Things You Should Know About Your Authorial Voice 25 Things You Should Know About Your “Finished” Novel 25 Ways For Writers To Help Other Writers Appendix I: 25 More Writing Challenges Appendix II: 25 Things You Should Know About Me

    From adjectives and exclamation points to dialect and hoopetedoodle, Elmore Leonard explains what to avoid, what to aspire to, and what to do when it sounds like "writing" (rewrite).Beautifully designed, filled with free-flowing, elegant illustrations and specially priced, Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing is the perfect writer's—and reader's—gift.

    I can call you friend because we've just built up a rapport with my rhetorical questions. This is a book chock full of writing prompts. These are little things that will help you along to writing some amazing stuff that spills out of your mind. You're wondering: "But what kind of prompts are they? I've seen writing prompts before, but they're all lame." That's a good thing to be wondering, friend. I've crafted and homebrewed only the finest of prompts for your pleasure. You won't be confined to any one genre, you'll find a limitless amount of prompts ranging from comedy to serious to horror. I say limitless, but I meant 1,000 prompts precisely. I said 1,000 precisely, but there's slightly more if you count the introduction. Listen, friend, I promise not to fib from this point on. The book is split into a few sections: Beginners Writing Prompts (it's a super short section, don't worry); Constrained Writing (that's where you are forced into absolutely specific criteria for the prompt); Flash Fiction (either a word count or a time count is imposed upon you); Ripper Prompts (you are given a list of items for "Random Item Prompts"); and the bulk of the book ends with basic writing prompts with which you can write as much as you please with no tricks! If you're still reading this description, allow me to tell you more uses for this book: Creative writing classes! Yes, teachers, I've done the work for you. I'll even let you lie and say the prompts were crafted in your mind. Corporate synergy teams! That's right, group building exercise makers, you can relax in your fine leather chair and state that you know just how to get the company working together. Present some of these writing prompts and you'll be a hit. Temporarily disenfranchised millionaire authors in waiting! Your hit novel is contained in one of these prompts, I'm certain of it! Use this book for scripts, for blogs, for journals, for impressing potential clients. Sorry it's not a physical book, otherwise I am sure it would make an attractive door wedge! Have I used enough exclamation marks to convince you? No? Read the free preview then and be dazzled! Section Information: Section 1: Beginners Writing Prompts (20 Prompts) Section 2: Flash Fiction Prompts (80 Prompts) Section 3: Random Items Prompts AKA Rippers (20 Prompts - List of 26 random items) Section 4: Constrained Writing (30 Prompts) Section 5: Writing Prompts (850 Prompts)

    In a highly competitive publishing world, today’s writers need to stay ahead of the competition and make every sentence count. This book will help new writers who need an understanding of the writing process and it's also for seasoned writers who need inspiration. It’s a powerful tool.“I can honestly say that Shelly Lowenkopf wrote the book onfiction.” —Catherine Ryan Hyde, author of Pay It Forward and Jumpstart the World“Shelly Lowenkopf has cooked up literary gumbo for all writers. Once you’ve sampled it, you won’t be able to stop coming back for more.” —Ehrich Van Lowe, producer of The Cosby Show and author of Boyfriend from Hell.

    You will see how a work takes form and shape once you grasp the principles of momentum, tension, and immediacy. "Tension," Stern says, "is the mother of fiction. When tension and immediacy combine, the story begins." Dialogue and action, beginnings and endings, the true meaning of "write what you know," and a memorable listing of don'ts for fiction writers are all covered. A special section features an Alphabet for Writers: entries range from Accuracy to Zigzag, with enlightening comments about such matters as Cliffhangers, Point of View, Irony, and Transitions.

    Formatter to New York Times bestselling writers and indie authors alike, Henkel makes the process understandable and easy to follow for anyone.Whether you want to create an eBook for Kindle, or you want to format your manuscript as an ePub file, "Zen of eBook Formatting" is the perfect companion for the task.“Zen of eBook Formatting” covers the entire process from basic clean-up of the manuscript to basic HTML tagging, all the way to advanced features, and error-checking, teaching you the skills necessary to give your own eBooks the professional polish they deserve.Here is a look at the Table of Contents, to give you an impression of the breadth of subjects covered in the book. Table of Contents Preface Introduction 1 - The Road to Right 2 - Data Structure 3 - Cleaning Up the Manuscript 4 - From Word Processor to Programming Editor 5 - General Techniques 6 - Advanced Techniques 7 - eBook Generation 8 - eBooks Outside the Box Parting Thoughts Appendices Note:I would like to point out that the “Look Inside” preview is currently garbled and the formatting is off. Amazon is aware of the problem and working on it, hopefully rectifying the error in their previewer as soon as possible. I think it is important o point out that the formatting in the actual eBook is working correctly and does not suffer from the same flaws.

    This book may have occasional imperfections such as missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. that were either part of the original artifact, or were introduced by the scanning process. We believe this work is culturally important, and despite the imperfections, have elected to bring it back into print as part of our continuing commitment to the preservation of printed works worldwide. We appreciate your understanding of the imperfections in the preservation process, and hope you enjoy this valuable book.

    These miniature messages depend not on the elements of style but rather on the atoms of style. They require microstyle. Branding consultant Christopher Johnson here reveals the once-secret knowledge of poets, copywriters, brand namers, political speechwriters, and other professional verbal miniaturists. Each chapter discusses one tool that helps miniature messages grab attention, communicate instantly, stick in the mind, and roll off the tongue. As he highlights examples of those tools used well, Johnson also examines messages that miss the mark, either by failing to use a tool or by using it badly. Microstyle shows readers how to say the most with the least, while offering a lively romp through the historic transformation of mass media into the media of the personal.