The Big Trip Up Yonder


Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - 1954
    Anti-Gerasone halts the aging process and prevents people from dying of old age as long as they keep taking it; as a result, America now suffers from severe overpopulation and shortages of food and resources. With the exception of the very wealthy, most of the population appears to survive on a diet of foods made from processed seaweed and sawdust. Gramps Ford, his chin resting on his hands, his hands on the crook of his cane, was staring irascibly at the five-foot television screen that dominated the room. On the screen, a news commentator was summarizing the day's happenings. Every thirty seconds or so, Gramps would jab the floor with his cane-tip and shout, "Hell, we did that a hundred years ago!" Emerald and Lou, coming in from the balcony, where they had been seeking that 2185 A.D. rarity--privacy--were obliged to take seats in the back row, behind about a dozen relatives with whom they shared the house. All save Gramps, who was somewhat withered and bent, seemed, by pre-anti-gerasone standards, to be about the same age--somewhere in their late twenties or early thirties. Gramps looked older because he had already reached 70 when anti-gerasone was invented. He had not aged in the 102 years since. "Next one shoots off his big bazoo while the TV's on is gonna find hisself cut off without a dollar--" his voice suddenly softened and sweetened--"when they wave that checkered flag at the Indianapolis Speedway, and old Gramps gets ready for the Big Trip Up Yonder." He sniffed sentimentally, while his heirs concentrated desperately on not making the slightest sound. For them, the poignancy of the prospective Big Trip had been dulled somewhat, through having been mentioned by Gramps about once a day for fifty years.

Dirty Beasts


Roald Dahl - 1983
    From Stingaling the scorpion to Crocky-Wock the crocodile, Dahl's animals are nothing short of ridiculous. A clever pig with an unmentionable plan to save his own bacon and an anteater with an unusually large appetite are among the characters created by Dahl in these timeless rhymes. This new, larger edition is perfect for reading aloud and makes Quentin Blake's celebrated illustrations even more enjoyable. "Will elicit a loud 'Yuck.' In other words, children will love them." (Children's Book Review Service)

The Neil Gaiman Audio Collection


Neil Gaiman - 2004
    This collection includes:The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish: An unforgettable story that will take readers on a journey into the murky mind of a young boy and the perils of striking a bargain.The Wolves in the Walls: Lucy is sure there are wolves living in the walls of their house -- and, as everybody says, if the wolves come out of the walls, it's all over. Her family doesn't believe her. Then one day, the wolves come out.Cinnamon: This charming fable of an exotic princess who refuses to speak currently exists only on Neil's official website and has never been published in print or any other format.Crazy Hair: Bonnie tries to comb the narrator's crazy hair -- where gorillas leap and tigers stalk -- and is in for a surprise in this delightful rhyming tale.

Mr. Bliss


J.R.R. Tolkien - 1982
    Bliss's first outing in his new motor-car, shared with several friends, bears, dogs, and a donkey, though not the Girabbit, proves to be unconventional though not inexpensive.

Eve's Diary


Mark Twain - 1905
    

The Canterville Ghost


Oscar Wilde - 1887
    The family -- which refuses to believe in him -- is in Wilde's way a commentary on the British nobility of the day -- and on the Americans, too. The tale, like many of Wilde's, is rich with allusion, but ends as sentimental romance...

The Bad Beginning


Lemony Snicket - 1999
    It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket

Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle


Washington Irving - 1819
    In the first of these stories from the Catskill Mountains, a superstitious schoolmaster encounters a headless horseman; in the second, a man sleeps for twenty years, waking to a much-changed world.

Young Zaphod Plays It Safe


Douglas Adams - 1986
    It doesn't appear as a standalone work, but is included with several collections. The story is a prequel to the events in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and has the young Zaphod Beeblebrox working as a salvage ship operator. He guides some bureaucrats to a crashed spaceship which may be leaking some hazardous materials. The bureaucrats are determined to "make it safe". The comic asides in the story include some of the time travel paradoxes which are a common running theme in Adams' SF work, and plenty of material about lobsters

Minor Mage


T. Kingfisher - 2019
    His familiar reminded him of this several times a day.He only knew three spells, and one of them was to control his allergy to armadillo dander. His attempts to summon elementals resulted in nosebleeds, and there is nothing more embarrassing than having your elemental leave the circle to get you a tissue, pat you comfortingly, and then disappear in a puff of magic. The armadillo had about wet himself laughing.He was a very minor mage.Unfortunately, he was all they had.

The Hogwarts Collection


J.K. Rowling - 2017
    Rediscover the stories of Remus Lupin and Minerva McGonagall in Heroism, Hardship and Dangerous Hobbies; delve into Horace Slughorn's early years in Power, Politics and Pesky Poltergeists; and venture into the Hogwarts grounds in Hogwarts: An Incomplete and Unreliable Guide.

The Book of Dragons


E. Nesbit - 1899
    Some of the legendary monsters are funny and mischievous, others are downright frightening, and a number of them are wild and unpredictable. There's a dragon made of ice, another that takes refuge in the General Post Office, a scaly creature that carries off the largest elephant in a zoo, and even a dragon whose gentle purring comforts a tiny tot.And who challenges these amazing creatures? Why, daring heroes, of course, as well as a wicked prince, and even an entire soccer team — which, unfortunately, meets its fate with a fire-breathing brute that flies out of the pages of an enchanted book.E. (Edith) Nesbit (1858–1924) was one of the pioneers of fantasy fiction for children. Her classic novels — such as The Railway Children and Five Children and It — have remained popular for more than a century. 24 illustrations.

Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas


Tim Burton - 1993
    He's in charge of making Halloweenland the coolest creepy place around. But when Jack suddenly grows bored with tricks and treats, he goes searching for new ways to celebrate...and he finds them in Christmas Town! Christmas, Jack decides, is just what Halloweenland -- and the world -- needs! He sets out to take over the role of Santa. But can anything good come of a tall and lanky skeleton dressed up as everyone's favorite jolly old elf? Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of the Walt Disney Company's most successful franchises, with a huge cult following and a loyal and growing fan base. This beautiful reissue of the book first released in 1993 is a surefire Halloween, Christmas, and year-round hit! The Nightmare Before Christmas is the first book that Tim Burton has written and illustrated.

Percy Jackson's Greek Gods


Rick Riordan - 2014
    But if it helps you to know your Greek gods, and survive an encounter with them if they ever show up in your face, then I guess writing all this down will be my good deed for the week." So begins Percy Jackson's Greek Gods, in which the son of Poseidon adds his own magic--and sarcastic asides--to the classics. He explains how the world was created, then gives readers his personal take on a who's who of ancients, from Apollo to Zeus. Percy does not hold back. "If you like horror shows, blood baths, lying, stealing, backstabbing, and cannibalism, then read on, because it definitely was a Golden Age for all that." Dramatic full-color illustrations throughout by Caldecott Honoree John Rocco make this volume--a must for home, library, and classroom shelves--as stunning as it is entertaining.

The Reluctant Dragon


Kenneth Grahame - 1898
    When the town-folk send for St. George to slay the dragon, the boy needs to come up with a clever plan to save his friend and convince the townsfolk to accept him. This story first appeared as a chapter in Grahame's Dream Days and was first published as a separate book by Holiday House in 1938 with illustrations by Ernest H. Shepard.