Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    Includes The Amplified, The Dissenters, and The Restrainers.

    But nothing prepared him for Milkwood: a fat, ugly bastard who could take a beating like a government mule, but never, ever won. So when Malcolm risks his life to discover Milkwood's secret, he convinces the fighter to stop being a punching bag and to go for broke in the local tournament. Only problem? A beautiful woman called Lash who needs Milkwood for her own purposes, and a fouler creature on her heels known only as Dizzy Colt. But for Malcolm and Milkwood? Hell, it’s just another day of Blood and SawdustPRAISE FOR BLOOD AND SAWDUST!"With wicked, playful prose that blends the best of pulp with the supernatural, Jason Ridler’s Blood and Sawdust creates an unholy, hell-raising hybrid, the kind of tale Christopher Moore and Jim Thompson might swap after a long night of drinking, trying to one-up one another with acerbic absurdity." Joe Clifford, Author of CHOICE CUTS and JUNKIE LOVEPRAISE FOR THE WORK OF JASON RIDLER!"An exciting new writer." Lucius Shepard, multiple-award-winning author of HANDBOOK OF AMERICAN PRAYER. “Jason Ridler is kind of like a bull rider who’s tossed a saddle on a Tiger tank, and he’s riding that bucking sucker for all he’s worth, because, hey, no one told him that he couldn’t do it, did they? So here he is, the Man in the Barbed-Wire Straitjacket." Norman Partridge, Award Winning Author of DARK HARVEST. "Jason Ridler’s work is intense and taut, with incredible characters and plots that keep your mind buzzing long after you’ve reached the final page." Trent Zelazny, author of TOO LATE TO CALL TEXAS, and FRACTAL DESPONDENCY. ABOUT THE AUTHORJason S. Ridler is the author of BLOOD AND SAWDUST, the Spar Battersea thrillers (DEATH MATCH, CON JOB and DICE ROLL), the short story collection KNOCKOUTS, and has published over fifty stories in such magazines and anthologies as Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Brain Harvest, Chilling Tales, and more. His popular non-fiction has appeared in Clarkesworld, Dark Scribe, and the Internet Review of Science Fiction. A former punk rock musician and cemetery groundskeeper, Mr. Ridler holds a Ph.D. in War Studies from the Royal Military College of Canada. Visit him at twitter at http://twitter.com/JayRidler, Facebook ,http://www.facebook.com/Ridlerville, or his writing blog, Ridlerville, atwww.jsridler.com

    The survivors of numerous battles are brought together through a series of ancient clockwork rooms, and their individual experiences combine to paint a picture of a multiverse on the brink of total annihilation. Gods and mortals fight alongside each other on the streets and among the stars, struggling to hold back the armies of demons doing the bidding of The Bleed.Whole worlds are lost. Others are sacrificed. Thousands are ready to fight, but millions more offer themselves up to the gods, praying that The Rapture will bring them salvation. In the midst of it all just a handful of survivors scattered across the multiverse are aware of what's at stake and how they can avoid Armageddon. But with the odds stacked against them and impossible distances between them, will thy be able to come together and turn the bloody tide against The Bleed?

    Then an unexpected message leads him into what could become his greatest – and strangest – case yet, a case whose foundations are inextricably linked to his own past.Rule Zero is a darkly comic thriller packed with psychic spies, prescient journalists, contact clairvoyants, repressed supermen, a lethal cocktail waitress and a roving troupe of ape-like security guards.Britain will never be the same again.

    Your choice. Rysa Torres can’t get a handle on the world. Attention issues will do that to a woman — classwork, home, and dating all become one big blurred ball of anxiety. Now add monsters trying to take a literal bite out of her life and visions of the future so intense they cause blackouts. The visions? World’s going to burn. Rysa sees it. All the other Fates see it, too. And now Rysa’s the Fate at the center of this particularly apocalyptic inferno. Ladon and his companion Dragon survived the Roman Empire. They survived the centuries after, and now they spend their days fighting ghouls in the American West. When they find the newly-activated, terrified Rysa, they see only the potential hell a young Fate might unleash into their quiet, lonely lives. But Ladon quickly realizes Rysa is much more than the daughter of an old enemy — she is his key to forgiveness. Together, Rysa, Ladon, and Dragon must stop a horrific, burning future. Can they overcome their own demons fast enough to save the world? Enter the explosive, genre-bending Fate – Fire – Shifter – Dragon universe where Science Fiction meets Urban Fantasy: Dragons, immortal warriors, family, love… and unknown science so advanced it’s indistinguishable from magic. NOTE: This newly re-edited and improved edition of Games of Fate contains new interior editing and formatting, plus story updates. The Fate – Fire – Shifter – Dragon series: Games of Fate Flux of Skin Fifth of Blood Bonds Broken & Silent All But Human Men and Beasts The Burning World

    

    It is an enigma that a long-dead scientist called the Fermi Paradox."Where are they?" A brave crew will take humanity's first starship, Endeavour, on an epic journey that spans light years and centuries to solve this mystery. As Commander Tom Hites and his crew searches amid long-abandoned worlds and ancient relics, the question they seek to answer becomes: "Where are they now?"ErebusThe sparsely populated moon Io is destroyed in a terrorist attack. Hundreds are dead in the cataclysmic explosion. Thousands become refugees as the shattered remnants of the moon threaten the Jupiter Alliance. Billions throughout the solar system are wondering, "Where next?"Those responsible must be found and brought to justice. The explorer ship Erebus is reassigned from its mission and sent to Jupiter to investigate this atrocity with Trent's international team onboard. And what Trent discovers among the relics of the alien Sleeping Gods will change humanity's place in the universe forever.

    From sinister feline mummies to ravenous zombified cars and any and all things in-between, the living dead have returned from their graves, junkyards, and even the war torn skies to haunt the lands of the living. With stories horrific, funny, and weird, Strange Afterlives has a little something for everyone who has ever wondered what terrible secrets could be lurking in that rotting tree or broken toy.Stories included in this anthology:Mouse Trouble by A. Lee MartinezAfter the Invasion by Russell C. ConnorSeated Woman with Child by Rosemary Clement-MooreRoots by Brooke FosseyThe Late Mrs. Buttons by Sally HamiltonAn Undercover Haunting by Kristi HutsonGImme Shelter by David C. Whiteman01001110 by Nik HolmanThe Runner by John BartellNight Witch by Shawn ScarberThe Scavenger Hunt by John Sanders Jr.Strange Afterlives will terrify and amuse. You may never look at a rusted automobile the same way again.

    You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.

    The last thing she needs is to be kidnapped, even if it is by a hot Brit. Afterwards, she's mysteriously returned and has no memory of what happened. She learns, with the help of an eccentric sexy woman, that she's been modified - given a power unique to her talents. Sounds cool, right? It would be if she knew how to use it without killing everyone around her... Modified is a funny, sexy, geeky romp about the trouble of acquiring an unexpected and inherently evil super power. Full of offbeat characters, profanity, and a healthy dose of salacious thoughts, you'll love this fun series. With the box set edition, you get all five volumes for one low price! Pick up your copy today and get Modified! Reader Discretion is Advised: If you are offended by strong language or sexual situations, for the love of God don't buy this box set.

    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

      Now, Sterling Booker Wells hasn't been in charge of her for 24 hours and they have already busted up one effort on her life, and even worse, there is a crossbow bolt hole in Alphonse's prized, painstakingly accurate, exquisitely restored, vintage replica of Steve McQueen's 1968 Mustang from the hit movie Bullitt.However, Booker argues in his defense, the Princess hasn't suffered a scratch. The Messengers Menagerie continues the first weekend when Sterling Booker Wells meets the Royal Elven Princess Auralee, what (else) could possibly go wrong? How about a new crew sent to do him in? And the Princess who will be by his side. Join Runner Sterling Booker Wells as he attempts to keep the Elven Princess out of harm's way... Again.

    Lord help her… NOTE: This volume contains the first three books of the Jessica Christ series, including ... Book 1: The BeginningBook 2: And It Was GoodBook 3: It's a Miracle!*Plus* the first chapter of Book 4: Nu Alpha Omega The Beginning Jessica McCloud knows first-hand that it’s tough to fit in when you’re God’s only begotten daughter. While she has the power to smite, and she’s privy to most of the juicy gossip in her West Texas town, nobody is knocking on her door with frankincense and myrrh. The Messiah-in-the-making still has to contend with algebra tests, her first crush, and menstrual cramps with the power to spark lightning storms…As if dealing with her overbearing Father and a scheming preacher wasn’t enough, Jessica must face down the demons that lurk around every corner. No matter what she wants from life, everything seems to lead to a final showdown with the devil. The daughter of God has a choice: face the destiny thrust upon her or find some way to forge her own path…And It Was GoodAs she enters the uncharted territory of high school, Jessica McCloud could use a few more friends who believe in her. Of course, that means something entirely different for the daughter of God. After her two-millennia-dead half-brother visits her in a dream and tells her it’s time for her to stop messing around, Jessica begins the hunt to discover what miracles she can perform. And if one of them happens to win the heart of her long-time crush, Greg, then so be it. But when a reporter with a grudge against God catches wind of her first miracle, Jessica stumbles her way through one scandal after another until she wonders if the world wouldn’t be a much happier place with no miracles at all. It's a Miracle! Miracles happen when you least expect them. And if you’re Jessica McCloud, God’s only begotten daughter, they happen when you least want them. Is an uneventful senior year of high school too much for Jessica to hope for?Yes. Yes it is.Instead of focusing on college applications, Jessica must juggle Jimmy’s newest scheme, Eugene’s latest slander, and a gruesome (unpaid) internship at Midland Memorial Hospital. And just when she’s starting to get the hang of it, a serious PR blunder ignites a firestorm of brand new accusations. It would take nothing short of a miracle for Jessica to come out on top this round, and she isn’t holding her breath…