Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    He’s in Goa, dreaming of the passport-thief who stole his heart (and his passport) forty-six years ago. Back then, fate kept bringing them together, but lately it seems to have given up.Jan has not. In his long search he has accidentally held a whole town at imaginary gunpoint in Soviet Russia, stalked the proprietors of an international illegal lamp-trafficking scam and done his very best to avoid any kind of work involving the packing of fish. Now he thinks if he just waits, if he just does nothing at all, maybe fate will find it easier to reunite them.His story spans fifty-four years, ten countries, two imperfect criminals (and one rather perfect one), twenty-two different animals and an annoying teenager who just…His story spans fifty-four years, ten countries, two imperfect criminals (and one rather perfect one), twenty-two different animals and an annoying teenager who just…Will…Not…Leave.But maybe an annoying teenager is exactly what Jan needs to help him find the missing thief?Featuring a menagerie of creatures, each with its own story to tell, We Are Animals is a quirky, heart-warming tale of lost love, unlikely friendships and the certainty of fate (or lack thereof). For the first time in her life the cow noticed the sun setting, and it was glorious.

    For Mary Callaghan marriage has brought heartaches and disappointment. But with it have come joys, the greatest of which are her daughters, Daisy and Nell. Mary longs for them to have the one thing denied to her - a husband who will offer them kindness, security and love.But when Daisy confesses she's pregnant, the future looks grim, for the father's a rough, pleasure-loving man. As Nell watches her sister sink into bitter poverty, and as the world around her grows more uncertain, with war more likely by the day, risking all for love seems to Nell a foolish game...

    Her younger sister Mimi is funny and bright but hopelessly lost, with no career prospects, no money, no love life and a string of disastrous mistakes in her past.When Sabrina asks Mimi to be her bridesmaid, Mimi soon learns that 'bridesmaid' actually means 'unofficial wedding planner - servant, slave and general dogsbody'. And, to her horror, she knows that it's going to take more than just patience to whip up the wedding of the century, especially when the official wedding planner has a murky secret that could rock Sabrina and Edward's world...

    In the cut-throat world of weekly trash mags, Nina thrives on the adrenalin of out-bidding her rivals for scandalous photo sets, scoring exclusive rights to Australia's A-list weddings and having the most influential celebrity managers on speed-dial. But in her personal life, things aren't quite as glossy. Just as she's back on the single scene, all her friends start getting up the duff faster than you can say, 'Welcome to Nappy Valley'. While Nina spends her days managing her magazine's multi-million-dollar budget and stalking Kim Kardashian's every move, they're managing their minuscule maternity leave allowance and stalking their local daycare waiting list. Suddenly she feels like she's being rejected from a club she doesn't even want to join. With a reality TV show in the works and a Facebook feed overflowing with endless baby updates, Nina heads to New York on an impromptu girls' trip to get away from it all - but little does she know that things are about to get a whole lot more complicated...

    Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners' association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings- with Mac taking on the renovations himself- Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    V has to live in a sham marriage as she seeks information on her husband, his financial affairs and proof of his sexual affairs.

    But when her old flame shows up at her high school, sparks fly—in more ways than one. . .

     Sweet Christmas Kisses 5 brings you contemporary romances that celebrate the joy of the season around the world, including snowy Maine and the sun-kissed skies of Florida, the mountains of Colorado to small-town Illinois and Virginia, New York to San Francisco, and even the glittering lights of Paris and the old-world charm of Florence. Sweet Christmas Kisses 5 features nine all-new, standalone novellas that will make you smile and warm your heart with the Christmas spirit.

    Unfortunately, due to an exercise allergy, and an eating obsession, it isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought. Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.

    Wodehouse novels and story and article collections, with active table of contents. Illustrated with 10 unique illustrations.The Adventures of SallyThe Clicking of CuthbertThe Coming of BillA Damsel in DistressDeath At The Excelsior, and Other StoriesThe Gem CollectorThe Girl on the BoatThe Gold BatThe Head of Kay'sIndiscretions of ArchieThe Intrusion of JimmyJill the RecklessThe Little NuggetThe Little WarriorLove Among the ChickensA Man of MeansThe Man Upstairs and Other StoriesThe Man With Two Left Feet And Other StoriesMikeMike and PsmithMy Man JeevesNot George Washington, An Autobiographical NovelPiccadilly JimThe Politeness of Princes and Other School StoriesThe PothuntersA Prefect's UnclePsmith in the CityPsmith, JournalistRight Ho, JeevesSomething NewThe Swoop! or How Clarence Saved EnglandTales of St. Austin'sThree Men and a MaidUneasy MoneyThe White FeatherA Wodehouse Miscellany, Articles & Stories

    When she’s not covered in fake fur, she sleeps with the wrong men, avoids laundry, sets her vibrator on fire, and dodges her mother’s demanding phone calls. Surrounded by eccentric friends, an offbeat family, peculiar coworkers, and a twenty-four-year-old goldfish, Jane searches for happiness through a maze of dirty clothes and hard lessons.Happy(ish) is set in Ferndale and the metro Detroit area.

    In a shallow attempt to move forward, she marries the older Deacon of the church, but is liberated when he dies on their wedding night. Now free to find love and happiness, Sabrina discovers the dark side of love and lust when she is confronted by her new best friend Blair; when Blair thinks Sabrina has stolen the man she loves.

    Then she hits on a brilliant idea – a kids’ clothing shop with a twist – and is thrilled when it really takes off. When husband Lee offers to quit his job to look after the family while her business grows, it seems a godsend – but will their marriage stand the test of reversing their roles?Jo soon recruits Holly and Mel to help her in the shop. Designer Holly’s high-flying career has come crashing down and she’s moved back home – but is she ready to manage a major family crisis? Meanwhile, Mel worries her teenage daughter Serena is going off the rails. Is finding out more worth risking her daughter’s trust?At the crossroads of their lives, friendship could be the only the thing keeping these wonder women strong.