Epic Text Fails! 2: More Funniest Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers, and Smartphone Mishaps


Marcus Rainey - 2014
    Yes, it is really that good." "This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!" Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

Misty the Curious Cat


Efrat Haddi - 2015
     “Misty, is the most curious cat I had ever seen,” said Amy. “Mother," Amy asks, "Why is Misty so curious?" Author Efrat Haddi is taking young children on a journey with Amy while she learn a very important lesson. " Misty the Curious Cat" helps to teach children an important social skill that can make home life happier and school more successful. It also provides parents, teachers, and counselors with an entertaining way to teach children why being curious is a way to learn new things. This well-written and inspiring story, delivers easy-to-digest education complemented by vibrant, delightful illustrations This story may be ideal for reading to your kids at bedtime and enjoyable for the whole family as well! It is suitable as a read aloud book for preschoolers or a self-read book for older children. ** Don't forget to get your FREE GIFT inside **

The Impending Sausage Sandwich of Doom


Kirk St Moritz - 2017
    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

A Play On Words


Deric Longden - 1999
    The theme is the experience of Longden watching LOST FOR WORDS become a TV drama along with a collection of observations of life at home and abroad.

James, Fabulous Feline: Further Adventures of the Connoisseur Cat


Harriet Hahn - 1993
    But his deductive abilities will be put to the test when he’s called on to detect philatelic forgeries at Thwaites, one of the city’s great auction houses. The recently knighted cat also finds time to coach a croquet team, oversee rehearsals of a sequel to Cats, and help deliver a baby. Not to be outdone by cheesy actors or blundering attorneys, he makes his film debut and testifies in a criminal trial at the Old Bailey. But he has a special place in his heart for St. James’s Palace, the address he longs to call home. This delightful sequel to James the Connoisseur will prove irresistible catnip for feline lovers.

The Adventures of the Crumpsall Kid: A Memoir


Mike Harding - 2015
    After growing up in an Irish Catholic household, he was sent to a grammar school run by priests, from which he eventually emerged unscathed. A combination of O Levels and rock ’n’ roll led him into the bowels of Manchester’s club land, where he worked alongside strippers and Chinese strongman acts while revising the War of Jenkin’s Ear.Testosterone and guilt struggled for mastery in his lapsing Catholic chest and trousers until testosterone won and, with guilt still on his back like Quasimodo’s hump, he toured the dancehalls of Northern England in a VW panel van, taking rock ’n’ roll to one-horse towns where the horse had bolted.Warm, nostalgic and very funny, Mike Harding’s memoir of his early life in post-war Manchester is as idiosyncratic and engaging as the man himself.

Bridget and Joan's Diary


Bridget Golightly - 2013
    Meet Bridget and Joan: Thelma and Louise on mobility scooters, reluctant residents of the Second Best Magnolia Retirement Home, and lifelong friends joined at the artificial hip.It’s been a wild year for the two rebellious wrinkletons: sherry and shoplifting, Sanatogen and sexting, and a mysterious toy boy who threatens their lifelong friendship and possibly even more…

Spanish Journals - The Posthumous Diary of an Expat: Part One - Integration


A.R. Lowe - 2012
     Ernest Postlethwaite was a man embarking on a new life. No longer for him the routine and drudgery of the commuter... The first part of Ernest Postlethwaite's groundbreaking journal charters the course of a man on a mission to achieve cultural and linguistic integration in a small village in southern Spain. This unadulterated manuscript will bring tears to the eyes of the most hard-hearted amongst us, as we follow his footsteps into the great unknown. - 'This diary, written by my late husband, Ernest Postlethwaite, has been published expressly against his wishes, but with the full and hearty endorsement of my family and friends.' - From the introduction by Pamela Postlethwaite, Javea, Spain, December 2012 "I was captured from the first page. We've all come across expats like this, and Lowe brings together all the laughable elements into one hysterical character, Ernest. This parody of the expat diary genre had me laughing out loud. I can't wait for part two to come out. It reminded me most of Alan Ayckbourn plays in the 1980s (when I was a stage manager), and listening to the audiences leaving ... "Oh that ghastly character, wasn't he JUST like our neighbour / uncle / colleague?". They ALWAYS knew someone just like the dreadful people in the plays - they just never realised it was themselves. Let these posthumous "diaries" be a warning to expats everywhere - read it, enjoy it, and make sure it isn't about you!" - Tamara Essex review. ***** 'Part Two - Invasion' and 'Part Three - Consolidation' now available. ***** (This is a fictional diary.)

Garfield: Life to the Fullest: His 34th Book


Jim Davis - 2017
    The perfect holiday gift for fans of the world’s favorite feline!MAKE WAY FOR GARFIELD!The tubby tabby is back, and he's livin' larger than ever! So whether he's enveloping Pooky in his Herculean hug, arguing with the talking scale, or munching on his masterpiece, the Leaning Tower of Pizza, Garfield's motto is always the same: Bigger is better!

Flesh and Blood (Before and After Book 2)


Andrew Shanahan - 2021
    NOW IN DEVELOPMENT TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE.‘I defy you to not laugh out loud at the adventures of the most unlikely hero of the apocalypse ever penned. Funny, touching and above all, hopeful’ THE END OF THE WORLD READING CLUBSOME THINGS BEGIN AT THE END OF THE WORLDBen Stone is sick to death. He’s sick of all the endless hatred since the wraths arrived. He’s sick of trying to find a refuge for him and his dog Brown to live out what’s left of their lives. But most of all he’s just sick. As Ben’s cancer spreads he’s left searching for a source of hope and warmth at the end of the world. Unfortunately for Ben it’s just started to snow...Flesh & Blood continues the story of Ben and Brown from the #1 bestseller Before and After, which is now in development to be a major motion picture.

Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements)


David Loman - 2014
    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

Cat Trivia: Funny Facts


Elliot Carruthers - 2014
    What can be funnier than cats?Cat trivia! That's what.Funny cartoons and fun trivia explore the cool world of cats.

The Speed of Souls: A Novel


Nick Pirog - 2018
    He died. Now he's a kitten. As Hugo adjusts to his new body (not just a cat--a baby cat!), his new home (San Francisco), his new outside (Where are the mountains? Where is the lake?), and his sudden urge to sit in every box he sees, he wonders if he'll ever see Cassie or Jerry again.Back in Lake Tahoe, Cassie and Jerry attempt to come to grips with life without Hugo. Cassie fills the void with "Tadpole Guard", "Worm Patrol", and ups her protection of Jerry (her human), who is in the midst of a cataclysmic midlife crisis. In addition to his dog dying, Jerry's last two books have been monumental flops and he's still reeling from his fiancée leaving him for another man. As if these problems aren't enough, his parents (who have become late-stage hippies) are coming to live with him for the entire summer.And so begins the journey of three souls, intertwined by love, loss, and perhaps something even greater. Told with Nick Pirog's charm and razor sharp wit, The Speed of Souls is at once a hilarious, moving, and transcendent work of storytelling.

The Domesday Book II (Still Not That One) (A Tale of 1066-ish 2)


Howard of Warwick - 2018
    As if one book of this sort of thing wasn't enough... It's history, but not as we know it. England, 1067-ish and the King’s grip is tight. His Earls of Northumbria will keep dying though. Every time he appoints one, someone sticks something in them, or sets light to them. Something is going on and he has a strong suspicion who's behind it. If he's right, it could mean real trouble. In Viking Vinland, the man who would be king awaits rescue - and waits. If no one else is going to do it, he will just have to rescue himself. There's only a bit of sea to cross, he will sail home and take his throne by force. Although he might need a bit of help. And then there are the Danes and the Scots who have their own ideas. If Volume I is anything to go by, this situation is a recipe for disaster. And if you’ve got the recipe, you might as well make a disaster. The text books would have you believe that everything in the past was carefully planned and organised. That the leaders of the time were clear in their aims and decisive in their actions. That the people knew what great events they were living through. No one made mistakes, no one incompetent ever got to be in charge and above all, no one ever had a laugh. All that changed with Howard of Warwick. The 16th book to do things to history that it never asked for, returns to the aftermath of the most famous date ever. 1066. Well, the year after actually, no one ever talks about that - and with good reason, it was chaos. Caution: contains facts. What they said of The Domesday Book (No, Not That One) ‘Had me chuckling the whole way through,’ Discovering Diamonds. 5* ‘Brilliantly humorous,’ 5* ‘A laugh riot,’

Union Station 1, 2, 3: Three Book Bundle


E.M. Foner - 2017
    EarthCent's diplomats are learning on the job - but the galaxy doesn't come with instructions. Get a running start on the funny and heartwarming Union Station series with a three book bundle at the special introductory price. Kelly Frank is EarthCent's top diplomat on Union Station, but her job description has always been a bit vague. The pay is horrible and she's in hock up to her ears for her furniture, which is likely to end up in a corridor because she's behind on rent for her room. Sometimes she has to wonder if the career she has put ahead of her personal life for fifteen years is worth it. When Kelly receives a gift subscription to the dating service that's rumored to be powered by the same benevolent artificial intelligence that runs the huge station, she decides to swallow her pride and give it a shot. But as her dates go from bad to worse, she can only hope that the supposedly omniscient AI is planning a happy ending.