From scorching her hoo-hah with jalapeños to attempting Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease in torn sweats and tube socks to her frustrated desire to pour tequila on her cereal when her kids say, ‘I’m booooooooored!,’ Heather Davis serves up hilarious tales of family-life insanity that are never mean (except when skewering herself) and never leave the reader screaming, ‘I’m boooooooored!’ TMI Mom FTW!” — Linda Erin Keenan, author of SuburgatoryEver wished you could say what you were really thinking?TMI Mom Heather Davis does just that. With her trademark dry wit and knack for storytelling, TMI Mom goes where no mom has been (at least in the pages of a book), with stories about the crazy things that can happen — in the minivan, the bedroom, and out in the big, bad world

    So when the bishop calls her to be homemaking counselor, she knows that it's either a joke- or inspiration. Welcome to the Paradise Vue Ward, with stained glass windows so blindingly bright, the congregation has to wear shades. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll keep wondering how the author found out about all the wackiest people in your ward. Surely the funniest Mormon novel ever published. By the end you may discover it's also the best.

    They show readers how to achieve these dramatic benefits, and how to find and evaluate the doula.

    In fact, each setback they experience just seems to immerse them deeper into a life they have totally fallen in love with. 'Seriously Mum, Who's that Chicken?' is the latest installment of their adventures as they continue to seize the day, living off-grid and loving every minute.

    He's kind to animals, loves children and helps old ladies across the street. But when he gets a pencil in his hands, he becomes a menace. No subject is too taboo. From dead kittens, to Helen Keller, to organized religion, there's no subject he won't twist. Politically correct? Dan Collins doesn't know the meaning.You've never seen cartoons like this before. This definitely isn't the Sunday funnies. Hilarious, demented and guaranteed to have you clutching your navel between gasps for air. Once you get hold of this book, you'll be convinced that this guy needs serious help before he's doomed to an eternity in hell.Check out this collection of insane cartoons and see if you're as demented as Dan Collins. If you find yourself laughing hysterically at some of the most marvelously bent cartoons ever created, plan on joining him on his decent into the inferno.From an early age Dan was heavily influenced by revolutionary comic artists such as Robert Crumb, B. Kliban, Gahan Wilson and Sam Gross. Coming from small town Ohio to Ohio State University in the early, turbulent 70's was a cultural and political awakening for him that would have a lasting impact. The Vietnam War and the counter culture revolution were the back drop from which this small town choirboy 'innocent' would pen his creations. What emerged were some of the most off the wall cartoons ever drawn.

    In Reasons My Kid is Crying, Greg collects together photos sent from parents around the world, documenting the many, completely logical reasons why small children cry.  Among them: “I let him play on the grass” . . . “He ran out of toys to throw into his pool” . . . “The neighbor’s dog isn’t outside”.  The result is both an affectionate portrait of the universal, baffling logic of toddlers—and a reminder for burned-out parents everywhere that they are not alone.

    Unable to fit in at school, she forges alliances where she can: with her housekeeper, with a pimply fellow misfit named Cynthia, and with the gorgeous Taylor, who gets her kicks out of shoplifting. Most frustrating of all is Katie's imperfect friendship with the proprietor of a local gas station, a handsome 23-year-old who shares her love of checkers but doesn't return her crush. With humour and an eye for telling detail, Berg conveys the way each uncompromising element of Katie's life ultimately offers her more than she had anticipated.Until The Real Thing Comes AlongPatty Murphy is facing that pivotal point in a woman's life when her biological clock ticks as insistently as a beating heart. Will she find Mr Right and start a family? But Patty is in love - with a man who is not only attractive and financially sound, but sensitive and warmhearted. There's just one small problem: He is also gay. Against her better judgment, and pleas from family and friends, Patty refuses to give up on Ethan. Every man she dates ultimately leaves her aching for the gentle comfort and intimacy she shares with him. But even as she throws eligible bachelors to the wayside to spend yet another platonic night with Ethan, Patty longs more and more for the consolation of loving and being loved. In the meantime she must content herself with waiting - until the real thing comes along . . .

    But none of this experience will prepare you for the world’s biggest technological marvel: a newborn baby.   Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, The Baby Owner’s Manual explores hundreds of frequently asked questions: What’s the best way to swaddle a baby? How can I make my newborn sleep through the night? When should I bring the baby to a doctor for servicing? Whatever your concerns, you’ll find the answers here—courtesy of celebrated pediatrician Dr. Louis Borgenicht and his son, Joe Borgenicht. Together, they provide plenty of useful advice for anyone who wants to learn the basics of childcare.

    She is addicted to the feeling of being on stage, looking out at expectant, up-turned mouths, waiting for the first laugh to hit. A first laugh that will not happen unless she creates it. But Brenda is clueless. The on-off girlfriend of a prolific comedian, it is only after she realises his best stage material consists of recycled versions of her own restless, smart-arsed energy that she begins to wonder whether she might be better off keeping her jokes for herself - and so she finds herself making her very first walk to the mark on stage in front of a bare brick wall, with just a spotlight and a PA system for cover, wondering what we all wonder from time to time: am I funny? A book as much about the thrill of performance as it is about what goes on when the microphone is switched off, Brenda Monk is Funny is a blackly humourous and devastatingly candid snapshot of the reality, the brutality and fragility of the comedy industry from an exciting new voice in fiction.

    get a Christmas tree! It's a simple enough task for any normal person. When he takes his three best friends along for the ride, Geordie, Robbo and Flaky... then nothing is simple... and no-one is normal.This Christmas it's different at the Harding house. They've invited their best friends and children to enjoy the festivities at their home in the heart of the Yorkshire Dales-at least, Will's wife has. Will is not entirely confident he can survive a week in close proximity to his dysfunctional friends.His wife has been asking him for days to buy a Christmas tree, but he insists a tree should only be brought into the house on the day before Christmas.As Christmas Eve arrives, it's time for him to get a tree.He sets off with good intent, with his best pals to lend a helping hand. However, heavy snowfall, the lure of English country pubs, and a disgruntled Lord of the Manor throw a massive spanner in the works. Add to that, Geordie's propensity for stupidity, Robbo's fondness for wacky-baccy, and Flaky's insufferable lecturing-well... what could possibly go wrong?Five adorable, innocent little children await their tree. Will it be delivered? And do they even care? The kids have one thing on their mind - Santa! However, the Santa which appears in the garden later that night is not the one they were expecting.Can Will and his pals save Christmas from becoming another disaster, or will it turn into a bleak mid-winter?Download now and find out!A feelgood Christmas read that will fill your stockings with laughter!A Shooting Star Series Novella

    Now in this beautiful keepsake edition, Bombeck's moving words are paired with original art that bring to life the warm portrait of motherhood contained within. An angel marvels at the detail and overtime that the good Lord is putting into his creation of mothers. Despite the six pairs of hands and the three pairs of eyes that every mother needs, the angel thinks she has discovered a flaw:"There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.""It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear.""What's it for?""It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride.""You are a genius," said the angel.The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there." Every mother will treasure this moving tribute, penned by America's most beloved expert on motherhood.

    Like what, you ask? Here are just a few extraordinary examples: * Bats always turn left when they exit a cave.* In the 1960s, astronauts trained for moon voyages by walking on Hawaiian lava fields.* Lloyd's of London insured Bruce Springsteen's voice for 3.5 million English pounds.* Physician Amynthas of Alexandria, Greece, performed the first known nose job in the Third Century B.C.* Military toilet paper is printed in a camouflage design, since white could attract enemy fire.* Elvis Presley always wore a helmet when watching football on TV.* King Henry VIII's ladies at court had a ration of one gallon of beer per day.* It takes the energy from 50 leaves on an apple tree to produce one ripe fruit.* The only country to host the Summer Olympics but not win a sinlge gold medal was Canada, in 1976. And that's just the beginning! So what are you waiting for? Attack!

    Tinsel Town. La La Land. The City of Dreams; groaning with wannabes and a few dazzling stars. For anyone brave enough to make the pilgrimage to LA in search of stardom; keep in mind the long odds and bring tissues.Eclipsed is a unique story about an ordinary family. Mum, Dad, four boys and a dog, albeit the dad is a somewhat famous UK comedian who dared to dream and chance his arm at becoming a Hollywood screenwriter.By chance and just like in our dreams and the best stories, his eldest son is talent spotted and after a series of serendipitous events, now finds himself as Marvel's new Spider-man. Meanwhile, his dad is doing comedy gigs in village halls...Written with great affection by a day as bemused as he is proud, Eclipsed is a hilarious story and insight into family life.We all want the best for our children and we hope that they might eclipse our own achievements, but in the same business as us and before they hit their teens? Come on, really?

    His hilarious syndicated newspaper column and numerous best-selling books have sparked the kind of adulation that's often reserved for rock stars or world leaders. His wit cuts right to the core of life's absurdities.In My Teenage Son's Greatest Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry, Dave shares his hopes, fears, and insights about his own stint as a father. Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods: Mood One: Just about to cry. Mood Two: Crying. Mood Three: Just finished crying.

     Filled with stories about injuries sustained while patients were not thinking so clearly, sad tales that reveal the not-so-funny side of the emergency room, things I've learned after years of being in this position, and signs you work in the ER, this condensed book has just enough to tickle your funny bone and then make you cry.