The author "discovered" the feline world's best-kept secret in a file hidden on his mother's computer by her cat, Cleo, and now shares it with humanity for the first time. Topics covered range from avoiding visits to the vet, to the artful display of captured prey, to getting in the way of a human trying to read anything, including this paragraph. Upon publication, Cleo denied authorship and hired a team of lawyers, all of whom have their claws out, but despite her best efforts the word is spreading: The Cat Manual is hilarious for cat-lovers of all ages. From the author of Cave Passages and Dark Life.

    This book is a laugh-out-loud way to educate yourself, your children, and your friends about how money really works...and a way to smile while you're straightening out that mess you call your financial life.

    Iconoclast. Apostate. Drunk. Many words have been used to describe Doug Stanhope, but rarely has “hopeful” been one of them. However, heading into 2016, Stanhope peered through the apocalyptic fog and saw a forecast that was more rainbows than acid rain: His first book was set for release, his new stand-up special was in the can, and he was about to film a television pilot with his friend and confidant Johnny Depp. The sharks of Hollywood were circling, and Stanhope’s pockets were filled with chum. The only thing that could stop Doug was himself, and that’s exactly what he did.First came the booze, then came the pills, then came the stripper, and then, Doug came. A tryst aboard a cruise ship leaves him literally and figuratively adrift when his scorned wife, Bingo, reveals she is in love with another man: a jug-sippin’, guitar-pickin’ hobo. A simple, black-out fling turns out to be a pebble tossed into the lake of you-know-what named 2016, and in No Encore for the Donkey, Stanhope traces the resulting rings.Written and performed by Stanhope, his third memoir follows the veteran comedian on a quest to save his marriage, his wife, and eventually his wife’s life. Our hero's journey finds Stanhope cuddling with Johnny Depp in his Los Angeles mansion, receiving some much-needed TLC from Marilyn Manson, and - most daunting - building a new hour of comedy in the rusted-out hellscapes of post-industrial America.Equal parts love letter, road romp, and harrowing condemnation of the failures of America’s mental health care system, No Encore for the Donkey is a hilarious and heartbreaking account of a man balancing on the edge of damnation. With Bingo in a coma and Trump about to be elected, Stanhope sifts through the ruins of his own personal cataclysm in order to answer the big questions: What does it mean to love someone when you can’t love yourself? What is the point of success if you have no one to share it with? And is the end of the world BYOB?

    He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers..."Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.Learn Me Good is Jack's hilarious retelling of his harrowing rookie year, written as a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his former engineering coworker. Inspired by real-life experiences of rambunctious and precocious children, lesson plans gone awry, and incredibly outrageous quotes, this laugh a minute page turner will give you a new appreciation for educators. Jack holds a March Mathness tournament, he faces a child's urgent declaration of "My bowels be runnin'!", and he mistakenly asks one girl's mother if she is her brother. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack fills each email with sarcastic (yet loving) humor, insightful observations, and plenty of irreverent wit.If you've ever taught, you will undoubtedly recognize aspects of your own students in Jack's classroom. If you've never set foot in a classroom, you will still appreciate the funny quirks, behaviors, and quotes from the kids and adults alike."I teach, therefore I am...poor!"

    Getting so tall and mature. Why, you can barely recognize yourself from just a few short months ago-back when you were so young. Your body is changing. Changes can be scary. Especially for girls, and, gosh, it can be confusing." Nope. No way. That's not this book. This is NOT your mother's coming-of-age manual. In the comedic likes of Chelsea Handler, author Jen Ashton breaks sex-education tradition and begins her hilariously endearing journey to womanhood with stories of growing up a tomboy in Middle America, circa the 1980's. Packed with iconic pop culture, nostalgic geekery, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, Ashton foregoes the conventional route of learning how to be a lady and dives right in, enlisting the help of Cosmo, Hustler and her anal-loving housekeeper. Forget dancing around the dutiful explanations passed on from generation to generation-tales of 'the red curse' and 'your changing body.' Ashton's rites of passage are chock-full of unique life lessons learned the extracurricular way. From bodily functions to breast enlargement, pregnancy prevention to purgatory, learn the real facts of life as only she can describe them. If you're lucky, you might even discover the answer to the age-old question: Do Girls Poop? If you thought your journey through puberty was rough, be prepared to finally feel normal. Girls Don't Poop is a jaw-dropping, side-splitting adventure of one clueless tomboy's quest to figure out women, so that she could inevitably become one.

    Stand amongst the clouds on Gunung Rinjani, party all-night in Kuta, or experience the Gili Islands' phenomenal diving scene; all with your trusted travel companion. Get to the heart of Bali & Lombok and begin your journey now! Inside Lonely Planet Bali & Lombok Travel Guide: Colour maps and images throughout Highlights and itineraries help you tailor your trip to your personal needs and interests Insider tips to save time and money and get around like a local, avoiding crowds and trouble spots Essential info at your fingertips - hours of operation, phone numbers, websites, transit tips, prices Honest reviews for all budgets - eating, sleeping, sight-seeing, going out, shopping, hidden gems that most guidebooks miss Cultural insights give you a richer, more rewarding travel experience - art, architecture, beaches, festivals, cuisine, water sports and outdoor adventures, history, dance, music, painting, environment, politics Over 50 maps Covers Kuta & Seminyak, Gili Islands, Lombok, North Bali, West Bali, Central Mountains, Ubud, East Bali, South Bali and more eBook Features: (Best viewed on tablet devices and smartphones) Downloadable PDF and offline maps prevent roaming and data charges Effortlessly navigate and jump between maps and reviews Add notes to personalise your guidebook experience Seamlessly flip between pages Bookmarks and speedy search capabilities get you to key pages in a flash Embedded links to recommendations' websites Zoom-in maps and images Inbuilt dictionary for quick referencing The Perfect Choice: Lonely Planet Bali & Lombok, our most comprehensive guide to Bali & Lombok, is perfect for both exploring top sights and taking roads less travelled. Looking for more coverage? Check out Lonely Planet Indonesia guide for a comprehensive look at what the whole country has to offer. Looking for a guide focused only on Bali? Check out Lonely Planet Pocket Bali, a handy-sized guide focused on the can't-miss sights for a quick trip. Authors: Written and researched by Lonely Planet. About Lonely Planet: Since 1973, Lonely Planet has become the world's leading travel media company with guidebooks to every destination, an award-winning website, mobile and digital travel products, and a dedicated traveller community. Lonely Planet covers must-see spots but also enables curious travellers to get off beaten paths to understand more of the culture of the places in which they find themselves.

    

    Marty was a professional writer, and considered himself a writer first, and an actor second. Feldman created a number of immensely successful and influential shows such as Marty, The Frost Report and sketches for Monty Python. He was one of the most essential creative forces in British comedy embodied also by his close friends and creative partners from Beyond the Fringe (especially Peter Cook and Dudley Moore) and Monty Python (especially John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Eric Idle).Marty played the fool, often very happily and with tremendous talent and volcanic, anarchic energy, for his entire life. His face is what many people most immediately remember. It was a face that David Frost, one of his bosses, characterised as 'too grotesque' for television - see what Feldman has to say about Frost, and Francis Bacon, and John Lennon...Marty Feldman finished, and set aside eYE Marty soon before travelling to Mexico to shoot his final film. He did not know that he would die there, although he certainly felt he might die soon, and was haunted by the notion. The book is exactly as Feldman wrote it: Mark Flanagan had it transcribed, with even the photos inserted where Feldman had noted they should go. Hilarious, deeply charming, aphoristic, ironic, charged throughout with lust for life and filled with scenes of great vanished eras and and portraits of other performers and friends, eYE Marty is the amazing discovery of the story of a man who was at the heart of the British comedy revolution.

    Mostly from the USA and UK, they bring into sharp focus the extent of the abuse of our critical life-saving services.With cartoons to depict calls and hyperlinks to take the reader to the original audio (some of them released in the public domain by the police and ambulance services in order to show the world how badly a minority of individuals will misuse valuable resources), this book promises to amuse and shock every right-minded person who understands what these services are here for.The author and illustrator are professional front line paramedics, so they know a thing or two about the subject; and from calls to the police for directions to 999 rants about the lack of buses, they have experienced their fair share of such stupidity.You won't believe some of the calls that have been made in the name of personal crisis. You simply won't believe what some people think is an emergency!

    Librarian's Note: this is an alternate cover edition - ASIN: B009KWO32U“Misadventures of a 1970s Childhood” delivers 18 stories about: • 6th grade puppy love• A large wooden stereo console• The first David Cassidy shag haircut• A dog that ran away• The old photo box in our parents' hall closet• Reassessing my grandmother’s difficult life• Bike jumps that nearly killed us• Revenge on the sledding slopes• A child left behind at the drive-in theater• A toilet clogged with an apple core • And other misadventures common to the 70sI hope enjoy reliving your 1970s childhood memories as much as I enjoyed writing about my own.Tom PurcellTom@TomPurcell.comwww.TomPurcell.com

    Here, he explains how you can effortlessly hold your own against the most highbrow members of society, so that never again will you confuse 'consomme' with 'coulis', or 'entree' with 'entrecote'."

    And you feel frustrated that others are able to reach their dreams so easily. Why? Its all due to Self Belief. Self Belief is the only common denominator between all successful people. Your Self Belief has a deep connection with your Thoughts and Actions. This book will finally unravel why you have been struggling. This book will strengthen your Self Belief by first strengthening your thoughts and actions. Here what will be unveiled: Introduction: Self-Belief allows you to predict the future SECTION I: Thoughts that strengthen Belief Chapter 1: We think only twice in a year I didn't make the above claim. It was made by one of the greatest thinkers of yesteryears. George Bernard Shaw. Why? This chapter will tell you. Chapter 2: Thinking is Praying Countless times you have prayed for something, and it didn't materialize. Be honest. Did you really felt deep down that it wasn't going to happen? Did you know that you are praying each minute of your life without knowing it? God is always providing you with exactly what you are praying for. Stop getting in your own way of success. Be kind to yourself and learn why you hold yourself back. Chapter 3: Asking Hard Questions We can walk up to anyone and tell 'em how to get thin, save more money, have better relations. Question is, why don't we follow our own advice? SECTION II: Actions that strengthen belief Chapter 1: Why the Law of Attraction will never work for you? So you think Law of Attraction is either awesomeness or a scam? This chapter will tell you of a more powerful law than the law of attraction. And surprisingly, its hidden within those very words. Chapter 2: Taking tough actions Whose dream are you living? Yours? Your spouse's? Your boss'? Your kid's? Its time to live your own dream. Whether it's a New Year's Resolution or a list of chores, you need to take action. Chapter 3: Why its critical to succeed just today? Forget long term goals. Your mind simply isn't programmed to think about what you will be 5 years from now. This critical piece is missing from most goal-setting exercises. You will be a success tomorrow only if you just do everything right only for today. "Just do it only for today. We will think about tomorrow, tomorrow." BONUS SECTION: How do I use this information to change my life in the next fifteen minutes Unlike most other self-help books, you will get to know exactly what you need to do in the next 15 minutes after completing this book. As easy as following Step 1...Step 2...Step 3... etc. Please scroll up and grab this book NOW.

    Like what, you ask? Here are just a few extraordinary examples: * Bats always turn left when they exit a cave.* In the 1960s, astronauts trained for moon voyages by walking on Hawaiian lava fields.* Lloyd's of London insured Bruce Springsteen's voice for 3.5 million English pounds.* Physician Amynthas of Alexandria, Greece, performed the first known nose job in the Third Century B.C.* Military toilet paper is printed in a camouflage design, since white could attract enemy fire.* Elvis Presley always wore a helmet when watching football on TV.* King Henry VIII's ladies at court had a ration of one gallon of beer per day.* It takes the energy from 50 leaves on an apple tree to produce one ripe fruit.* The only country to host the Summer Olympics but not win a sinlge gold medal was Canada, in 1976. And that's just the beginning! So what are you waiting for? Attack!

    An advocate of reason and common sense, the author debunks traditional believer apologetics and challenges theist platitudes, while providing food for thought and debate fodder for the neophyte to intermediate atheist. With more than one hundred no-holds-barred, plain-speaking rants and essays on a variety of religious subjects, The Atheist Camel Chronicles is the go-to book to find a burr to place under the saddle of the holier than thou, or to glean retorts to the banal "Truths" that religionists use to bolster their faith in the face of the Scientific Age and 21st century reality. Sometimes funny, always hard hitting and thought provoking, this book belongs in the library of every atheist, agnostic and skeptic who engages in debate and discourse with the religiously afflicted.

    They shine a light on what it really feels like when your world shatters and how they found hope in the deepest despair.Best friends since they met at university, Kerry and Pat had no idea that thirty years later, they’d need every ounce of their friendship to survive. In 2017, their worlds came crashing down when their teenage sons were both diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses within weeks of each other.During the following rollercoaster months, Kerry and Pat regularly snatched time to message each other – often with black humour – providing a momentary refuge from their frightening realities. Together these two ordinary mums found a way to survive their extraordinary challenges and to navigate a new normal in an alien and isolating world. With raw honesty, they share the things they’ve learnt and what they wish they’d known – from how to tame raging mother guilt to restoring their natural optimism in the aftershock of tragedy.In this profoundly moving book, Kerry and Pat take readers on a very personal exploration of the universal experiences of grief and loss, love and friendship that connect us all. Like a wise companion offering comfort, Take My Hand is a lifeline both to those overwhelmed by heartbreak and for friends and family who don’t know how to help. Most of all, it’s a powerful reminder that no matter how difficult life gets, you are not alone.