Nice Guy who's found companionship and comfort with Marsha.  The only problem is that he's become too comfortable.  Weighing seventy-five pounds more than when the courtship first began, the newly food-obsessed Sonny just can't stay away from Marsha's marvelous dishes, even in the middle of their breakup conversation.Determined to slim down and get his girlfriend back, Sonny joins the FutraSystem weight-loss center and meets potential love interest Kayla, as well as a host of other colorful characters. In a heartwarming tale that is alternately hilarious, wise, and ultimately self-affirming, Whitfield has created a thoroughly delicious and engaging novel sure to be enjoyed by those who have waged the battle of the bulge, or know someone who has.

    The compendium includes many of Ryan's previously unpublished parodies.

    And his friend, Joe Bennett, does too. They both have small bladders but more often it's just to get a moment of quiet, a break from work, or because it's the only way they know how to politely end conversations.So they created a functional meditative guide to help people who suffer from social anxiety and deal with it in this very particular way. Although, it's a comedic book, the goal is to help these readers:1. Relax2. Recharge3. Rejoin the world outside of the bathroomIt's also fun entertainment for people simply hiding in the bathroom to avoid doing work.A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape will be waiting in the bathroom like a beacon for anxious readers looking to feel calm, confident, and less alone.

    Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Aimee Mayo grew up in deep Alabama, rocked by the blow of a drunk man's fist before she even made it out of the womb. Her colorful and charismatic father went from a gambling janitor to a multi-millionaire, but died homeless. Her mother was wonderful when she wasn't popping pain pills like M&M's and her stepdad made a weird science out of psychological abuse. Throughout her teens, Aimee survived by writing compulsively in diaries, dreaming of becoming a songwriter and finding her soulmate.After accidentally burning down her house—just one in a series of disasters—at twenty years old she found herself lost with no path to the life she had always longed for. She tried to kill herself and almost succeeded.Finally, Aimee made it to Nashville. She started out a waitress, married to a wife-beating country singer, but never lost sight of her dreams. Talking to the Sky is her unforgettable memoir, the harrowing and hilarious story of believing in faith over fear and going after your dreams when everything is going against you.

    Face it, sometimes a standard curse word or expletive just won't do. Whether you're annoyed with your neighbor, agitated with your boss, or tired of your lazy roommate, this unique two-flap flipbook of totally uncensored and socially unacceptable phrases will provide endless possibilities for creative and colorful vocabulary. Unleash the immaturity and skewed sense of humor within and never be left searching for a clever comeback again.

    Given the choice, he'll go on vacation to Devon or Wales or, if pushed, eat English food on a package tour of the Mediterranean. So what happened when he was convinced by Gervais and Merchant to go on an epic adventure to see the Seven Wonders of the World? Does travel truly broaden the mind? Find out in Karl Pilkington's hilarious travel diaries.

    Snoopy invites his ugly brother, Olaf, to compete in an ugly dog contest, Charlie Brown plays baseball, and Peppermint Patty goes to summer school.

    However, that changes when she asks him to father the child she so desperately wants. Rich agrees—if she'll marry him. Because he thinks their Marriage of Inconvenience could become a real marriage instead.Paul Manning, a grieving widower with three small children, turns to Leah Baker for help and comfort. When that comfort begins to grow into something else, Paul discovers that he wants more than a Stand-In Wife.

    Reveals the four humor personalities...and which category you fit in. Helps readers realize that God gave us a funny bone...we just need to find out how to use it.

    He wanted to do it in a four-wheel drive, taking his own camper-trailer with him, to live at the edge of deserts and at the rim of tropical jungles, to drive the highest roads, and the lowest, to be free to make his own choices. He found a nut who wanted to do it with him, a picture editor of a leading man's magazine in New York, and the Trans World Expedition was born. This is their incredible journey. The did it, and how they did it is their tale told in his exciting book.

    I Did. Now What?! Now it's time for her to write about the real love of her life: Wendell. Her dog.*Do you talk about your dog non-stop? *Do you suspect your dog is a genius? *Do you name each of your dog's toys?*Does your dog get more heavy petting than your spouse? *Do all holidays revolve around your dog? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you probably have a healthy admiration for your dog. But if all of the scenarios in What Wendell Wants sound familiar, well, it's obvious that your appreciation of your pooch has truly crossed the line into true love--dysfunctional, sure, but who cares?! Jenny Lee knows this obsession inside and out, and her advice is not to fight it: there's simply no cure. Instead, she offers hysterical accounts of her own experiences--from fretting over her dog's haircut to getting his portrait painted a la Picasso to trying desperately to impress the Bed & Biscuit dog kennel--to give all kindred dog-loving spirits out there some consolation that they're not alone.From the Hardcover edition.

    Each volume’s series editor selects notable works from hundreds of magazines, journals, and websites. A special guest editor, a leading writer in the field, then chooses the best twenty or so pieces to publish. This unique system has made the Best American series the most respected — and most popular — of its kind.The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2012 includesKevin Brockmeier, Judy Budnitz, Junot Díaz, Louise Erdrich,Nora Krug, Julie Otsuka, Eric Puchner, George Saunders,Adrian Tomine, Jess Walter, and others

    Combining all the health and fitness benefits of walking and road running, the outdoor adventure of sports such as hiking and mountain biking, and the spiritual renewal from a day spent communing with nature, is it any wonder that trail running is fast becoming one of the most popular fitness activities? Whether you're a complete beginner or have been hitting the trails for years, this fully illustrated, one-of-a-kind guide provides all the essential information including: finding trails and getting started; managing ascents and descents with ease; maneuvering off-road obstacles; strength, stretching, and cross-training; selecting proper shoes, clothing, and accessories; safety on the trail; racing and other trail events and more.

    It premiered 37 years ago, in 1973, and, after 31 series it finally came to an end last year – even though all its original protagonists – Compo, Foggy, even Nora Batty – are now dead. Remarkably, for a series of such longevity and international appeal, it is all about elderly people, has little action or plot, and is set and filmed in and around the small Yorkshire town of Holmfirth. Now, Andrew Vine, the deputy editor of Yorkshire’s daily newspaper, has written the definitive history of this television phenomenon. It covers the show’s inauspicious beginnings, with low ratings, its endless reinvention as participants like Bill Owen, Michael Bates, Brian Wilde and Kathy Staff retired or died, the appearance of a string of guest stars from John Cleese and Norman Wisdom to Thora Hird and Russ Abbott (both of whom soon found themselves fixtures in the cast), and the ingenious plot contrivances as the protagonists became too old and frail to attempt any of the slapstick stunts with runaway prams – indeed any outdoor action. Holmfirth is now a year-round tourist attraction, and endless repeats and new DVD box sets will ensure a readership for this book for years to come.