It contains the Jewish nursery blueprint, complete with panic room, fireproof wallpaper and guardian ninja, the top-ten list of Jewish 'dont's', the complete timeline of Jewish expulsion, and much more.

    It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers—anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.

    Divided into four chapters, the book deals with the struggles of pain and healing of wounds of all sorts, finding sweetness in all the bitterness along the way. Sugar, honey, ice & tea takes readers on a journey deep into the dark corners where struggle becomes strength and pushes through all the emptiness until it reaches the light.

    Long never dreamed he’d become a horse person. But marrying a passionate vet plunged the self-confessed numbers nerd into the wild world of equine emergency care. And just when he thought he had a handle on his new life, his close-knit community gained Internet fame with a daring freeway horse rescue.This outrageous collection of uproarious exploits will tug at your heartstrings and tickle your funny bone. Through Long’s vivid accounts, you’ll meet a whole host of new friends, including a blind horse stuck in a sinkhole, mayhem-causing rescue kittens, and Highway, the famous I-75 Miracle Horse who cheated death four times!Adventures of the Horse Doctor’s Husband is an engrossing memoir-style compilation of four-legged antics. If you love animals, you’ll adore this hilarious, delightful, and sometimes heartbreaking behind-the-scenes look at life in a rural vet clinic. Buy Adventures of the Horse Doctor’s Husband to gallop into bales of chaos today!

    “It does not seem to be much use being anything else.”Have you ever wanted to deliver the ultimate Churchillian wisecrack? Give sound advice to a peer on how to deal with life’s problems? Or contribute to a heated discussion on international politics? The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill is the perfect pocket book to carry around in your arsenal as you laugh at Churchill’s devious brand of smarts and learn from his political and humanist outlook on life during the turmoil of the Second World War. Discover what he had to say about domestic politics, war and peace, power, struggles and strife, education, philosophy, and some of the biggest names of his time, including himself.Beautifully designed and curated, this entertaining collection compiles the wisest and wittiest Churchill quotations that speak of the politician’s enduring legacy in contemporary pop culture. Full of savvy and wisdoms, The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill is sure to delight devoted fans of history and casual readers alike.

    I hope that this book makes everyone feel what I felt while writing it, and that love is a universal thing, and my story is not unique. And I hope that this makes them see that there is a beyond and that they can come out happy and clean. And, that this makes them braver than they already are, and gives them that little extra push and strength that they probably need

    Hunanyan, the #1 bestselling author of Black Book of Poems, comes his highly-anticipated second collection of poetry.

    In "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl," Brian, a father of three girls, shares his tactics for surviving this new and glittery world. From baby dolls and bedtime rituals to potty training and dance recitals, he leads you through all the trials and tribulations you'll face as you're raising your daughter. He'll also show you how to navigate your way through tough situations, like making sure that she doesn't start dating until she's fifty.Complete with commandments for restroom trips and properly participating in a tea party, "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl" will brace you for all those hours playing house--and psych you up for the awesomeness of raising a daughter who has you lovingly wrapped around her little finger.

    From maple ice cream to Z-shaped fire escapes, these poems carry a flashlight you'll want to follow: unexpected as night swimming, entertaining as a music video in sign language.

    The F*ck It List is a hilarious middle-finger salute to all those absurd life goals that will ensure an anxiety-filled middle age will be followed by shame-filled golden years. It pokes a sorely needed pin into a bloated rite of passage that's ripe for deflation. Do you really need to firewalk or didn't Oprah and Tony Robbins take care of that for us? Swimming with sharks is a really dumb idea, so let's leave that with the gullible reality tv desperadoes, shall we? Kevin Pryslak has come up with a "to don't list" that will have you laughing out loud and leave you with lots more time to do the all the things YOU really want to do!

    Turner's "Tales of Imperfection" series, the author relates her adventures on the Jersey Shore, at an Idaho drag show with her in-laws, and surviving the perils of an elementary school ice-cream social with equal parts wit and heart. The laughter pairs well with two parts cocktail.

    Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    He has perfected the perfect way for anyone to have a garden without weeding, bending over, or using chemicals. If you follow his step by step methods and suggestions you will be assured to grow a beautiful and productive garden this year, even if you have never gardened before. The best part is that if the soil in your backyard is less than productive it doesn't matter at all. If you have sunlight and water, you will have a great garden this year. From the Arctic Circle in Northern Alaska to the heat of the desert in Saudi Arabia, people are using this method, and having great success. The booklet is full color with 78 pages, and has a perfect bind booklet binding.

    

    Rolling Stone magazine has called songwriter Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Fields the Cole Porter of his generation; O, The Oprah Magazine has hailed cartoonist Roz Chast as the wryest pen since Dorothy Parker's. Together they have crafted a witty and unique book in celebration of two-letter words, focusing on the 101 such words that count in Scrabble. Featuring original four-line poems by Merritt and color illustrations by Chast, 101 Two-Letter Words covers familiar words (go, hi, no, ox) as well as obscure ones (ka, oe, qi, xu). With the dark wit and clever wordplay of Edward Gorey or Shel Silverstein, this book is sure to delight not just Scrabble players and crossword puzzle fanatics but also anyone in thrall to the weirdest corners of the English language."