Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

    Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller. In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.

    Criticised by her outwardly perfect mother, dearly loved by her father, she’s the ‘Queen of Low Self-Esteem’. Finding herself suddenly immersed in a world of glitz and glamour, where nothing is quite as it seems, will she finally realise ... ... ‘It’s what’s inside that counts’?

    This new hardcover edition reprints every single “Nuts” story from the Lampoon (rescuing over two dozen pages from oblivion) and reinstitutes the color in the “Christmas” and “Halloween” episodes, and for that matter the 3-D in the 3-D episode (“I wish to God I’d never seen all this space.”)If you don’t remember what it was like being a child, this book will bring it all back… for good or for ill!

    Weak and disorientated, he lands in New York City as a regular teenage boy. Now, without his godly powers, the four-thousand-year-old deity must learn to survive in the modern world until he can somehow find a way to regain Zeus's favour.But Apollo has many enemies—gods, monsters and mortals who would love to see the former Olympian permanently destroyed. Apollo needs help, and he can think of only one place to go... an enclave of modern demigods known as Camp Half-Blood.

    From epidurals and stretch marks to diaper rash and day care, never before have the joys, trials, and tribulations of having and raising a baby been so ingeniously and truthfully rendered. Hatched! is the one book you need to keep you laughing through your pregnancy and first year of motherhood. PRAISE: "There are two stars in Tanen's books: her vermouth-sloshed wit shot through with a neurotic darkness, and miniature chenille chickens toting fingernail-sized Louis Vuitton bags ... [In] her new book, "Hatched! The Big Push From Pregnancy to Motherhood," ...[Tanen] redirected her alkaline humor at her fellow high-end parents. Now the chicks are obsessed with Baby Uggs, Bugaboo Strollers and whether their babies will master Mommy and Me yoga classes." -Los Angeles Times "Sometimes, the best gift for a mom is a laugh. Even the most sleep-deprived mother would be hard-pressed not to break a smile at Sloane Tanen's little toy chicken tableaus in 'Hatched!: The Big Push from Pregnancy to Motherhood.' It takes other authors entire memoirs to skewer some of the same targets that Tanen does in one-page zingers."-Seattle Times "With witty photographs...and droll captions...it's the perfect gift for the pending or new mother. It's certainly good for some big belly laughs."-Daily News "Sloane Tanen's latest work Hatched! is a hilarious, totally original take on the trials and traumas of pregnancy and motherhood. And by the way, Hatched! is THE PERFECT BABY SHOWER GIFT. We highly recommend." -Mommy Track'd "If best-selling author Sloane Tanen's books Bitter with Baggage Seeks Same and Going for the Bronze-both of which are illustrated with chickens-left you chuckling and buying copies for friends, wait until you flip thro

    Why should the afterlife be any different? We are given a choice when we die to move on to the Source, stay on earth and slowly evolve into more of what we were (good people become angels and bad people become demons), or a chosen few can work to keep the Balance between them. The title character Raven is such a warrior who works to maintain that balance.Malign, the demon responsible for most of the world’s cataclysmic wars, has come to the United States with an army of vampires or, more specifically, demons she has convinced to act as those fabled creatures of the night to sow discord and social unrest. Raven and the other Balance soldiers must track Malign down and in their spare time try to convince the ancient angel Metatron that he is doing more harm than good with his participation in mortal affairs. Tagging along for the ride are a motorcycle gang of millionaire philanthropists, Raven’s fellow Balance warrior Zeus’ younger angelic brother, and the demon Lucifer with his babysitter Gabriel.The novel is written in two styles. Each chapter begins in a soliloquy from the title character Raven, where she tells pieces of her back-story intertwined with philosophical musings on her family life and dealing with loss, with the following bulk of the chapter told in a third person narrative.

    Every Friday night Ruckus and his roommate Fred sneak out of Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane for a ride in their orderly’s convertible. A trip to the used book store and the Dairy Queen is Ruckus’s one little routine among the chaos of pissing all over the lunch trays. There is nothing routine about Apple, another Shady Grove resident who wants to go joyriding with the boys. It quickly becomes obvious she has bigger plans than getting an ice cream cone— plans that could land them in jail or even worse. When their lives are threatened by three angry ex-cons and a crooked cop, it’s up to Ruckus to get his friends back to Shady Grove in one piece. But first, they all need to face reality and confront their tragic pasts. It doesn’t take long for Ruckus to realize that if Apple doesn’t drive him totally nuts, she just may be the one to help restore his sanity."Driving Me Nuts! will surely tickle your funny bone!" Five Stars and Reviewer Top Pick - Diana Coyle, Night Owl Reviews

    It was a cartoon that appeared for many years in daily newspapers and was loved by millions. (And was confusing to millions more.) But one day he stopped.Gary went into hiding. He made a couple short films. He played his guitar. He threw sticks for his dogs. They threw some back.Yet Gary was restless. He couldn't sleep nights. Something haunted him. (Besides Gramps.) Something that would return him to his roots in biology, drawing and dementia--a tale called There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story.It begins a few inches underground, when a young worm, during a typical family dinner, discovers there's a hair in his plate of dirt. He becomes rather upset, not just about his tainted meal but about his entire miserable, wormy life. This, in turn, spurs his father to tell him a story--a story to inspire the children of invertebrates everywhere.And so Father Worm describes the saga of a fair young maiden and her adventuresome stroll through her favorite forest, a perambulator's paradise. It is a journey filled with mystery and magic. Or so she thinks.Which is all we'll say for now.What exactly does the maiden encounter?Does Son Worm learn a lesson?More important, does he eat his plate of fresh dirt?Well, you'll have to read to find out, but let's just say the answers are right under your feet.Written and illustrated in a children's storybook style, There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story is a twisted take on the difference between our idealized view of Nature and the sometimes cold, hard reality of life for the birds and the bees and the worms (not to mention our own species).Told with his trademark off-kilter humor, this first original non--Far Side book is the unique work of a comic master.Now Larson can finally sleep at night.Question is, will you?(from the back cover)

    She is a girl on a mission: living high school to the fullest. Together with her best friend Emma she writes a bucket list for her last year in high school. Sarah is determined to experience everything she has missed out on so far, like “Have a food fight,“ “Get detention“, “Be the hot topic of the rumor mill”, “Crash a party” and many more. But little did she realize how her mission affects others as well. Will she be able to fulfill every task on her list? And is she really ready for new experiences, new friends and maybe even a new love…?

    But when she trips into a quiet boy in the hall, Jaime Thompson, she's already broken the first rule, and the mean kids start calling her the "nerder girlfriend." How does she handle this crisis? By shoving poor Jaime and running away!Falling back on rule two and surrounding herself with new friends in the art club, Peppi still can't help feeling ashamed about the way she treated Jaime. Things are already awkward enough between the two, but to make matters worse, he's a member of her own club's archrivals--the science club! And when the two clubs go to war, Peppi realizes that sometimes you have to break the rules to survive middle school!

    In this age of debt, depression, and diabetes, could we adults use a refresher course in the gentle lessons from these adorable books, she wondered—a "Little Golden guide to life"? Yes, we could! Muldrow's humorous yet practical tips for getting the most out of life ("Don't forget to enjoy your wedding!" "Be a hugger." "Sweatpants are bad for morale."), drawn from more than 60 stories, are paired with delightful images from these best-loved children's books of all time—among them The Poky Little Puppy, Pantaloon, Mister Dog, Nurse Nancy, We Help Mommy, Five Pennies to Spend, and The Little Red Hen. The Golden greats of children's illustration are represented here as well: Richard Scarry, Garth Williams, Eloise Wilkin, J. P. Miller, and Mary Blair, among many others. Sure to bring memories and a smile, this book is a perfect gift for baby boomers, recent grads, lovers of children's literature—or anyone who cherishes the sturdy little books with the shiny cardboard covers and gold foil spines!

    But in the end, just when you think he's given up, he makes a transformation into something ineffably beautiful. A metaphor for growing up? A bit of inspiration for the unappreciated striver in all of us? Yes, yes, and more.

    They were meant…to be played.What if Romeo never met Juliet? What if Juliet got really buff instead of moping around all day? What if they teamed up to take over Verona with robot suits? This choose-your-own-path version of Romeo and Juliet—packed with fun puzzles, secrets, and quadrillions of possible storylines—lets you decide where the plot goes every time you read. You might play as Romeo, or as Juliet, or as both of them at the same time. You might even unlock additional playable characters!That’s right. We figured out how to have unlockable characters in books.

    Like Girls and Boys, Big Ideas features many of her greatest cartoons, including her menacing "Poodle with a Mohawk". Line drawings throughout.