The planes break, the regs break, metal gets bent, students are lost at sea, and a Top Gun wannabe student, who has four hundred hours of flight instruction, still hasn’t made his first solo flight. “CFI! The Book” is an over-the-top satirical aviation comedy that’s loosely based on real world experiences of flight instruction, but if the FAA asks, this is all strictly fictional.

    

    It wouldn't. In fact, it's actually pretty insulting that this so-called 'Community' hasn't done more to acknowledge (or even begin to repay) its undoubted debt to me.Richard Ayoade is many things - film director (of Submarine and the forthcoming The Double), comedy actor (The IT Crowd), comedian and TV presenter (Gadget Man). Ayoade on Ayoade captures the director in his own words: pompous, vain, angry and very, very funny.

    Featuring updates on breeds, boarding, nutrition, equipment, training, and riding, as well as new information on various equine conditions, this resource shows you how to keep your horse happy - and take your riding skills to the next level. Discover how to * Select the right horse for you * Feed, groom, and handle your horse * Recognize common horse ailments * Have fun in the saddle * Get involved in equestrian competitions

    The first of its kind to carry doctors and surgeons who can take the hospital to the patient. Drug addicts, lorry crashes, open-heart surgery, stab wounds, headless chickens, mating llamas, and strip routines - it's all in a day's work for emergency doctor Tony Bleetman and his team.Whether they are landing in the middle of the M1 or at a maximum security jail, Tony and his crew Helimed 999 are the first on the scene in the most critical of emergencies.This gripping read will make you laugh, cry and marvel at the wonders of life (and death) in equal measure.

    Sometimes it's a lesson about parenting. Other times, it's about the relationship between husbands and wives (or husbands and husbands, as the case may be). Or maybe it's about getting along with your adult parents, or your spouse's parents. What audiences, critics, and Emmy voters have all loved is how the writers and actors of Modern Family present all these dilemmas in a new, fresh, and incredibly funny way. There are plenty of books out there that tell you how to deal with your mother, but this one will give the reader advice about what to do when she shows up at a family reunion with your old boyfriend as her date.The book will be organized subject ? parents, children, spouses, brothers and sisters, holidays, pets, and many other topics still to be determined. There will be black and white illustrations throughout, and each chapter will have an introduction written by a Modern Family character.

    Clerks was the independent film success story of 1994, winning the Prix de la Jeunesse and the International Critics Week Award at Cannes, and the Filmmakers' Trophy at Sundance. Set in the everyday world of a New Jersey QuickStop and its adjacent video store, the film revolves around the obsessions, love lives, and friendships of the clerks. Janet Maslin of the New York Time called it "a buoyant comedy...and exuberant display of ingenuity," and Kenneth Turan of the Los Angeles Times raves, "Clerks is boisterous and irreverently funny...an example of what is best and most hopeful about the American independent film scene."

    From the call of the wild to the vagaries of love to the art of curing a hangover, this is a veritable aurora borealis of Chris's own recollections, speculations, dreams, and philosophies.

    Curious to find out:what to wear to a Fetish Ball?the difference between "sticky green" and "backyard boogie?"which piercing has the worst pain factor?how to find the best bookie?Find out the answers to these questions and many more as Etiquette for Outlaws teaches you how to live it up in style with tips on:TattoosGraffitiMotorcyclesSuicideGamblingStrip ClubsAlternative SexDrinkingSwingingJailhouse FightingGangsPiercing

    A collection of the author's most imaginative Chindohgu, otherwise known as unuseless ideas, includes the bath body suit and the walk 'n' wash ankle-attachable laundry tank.

    For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours.In his #1 New York Times bestselling book, SeinLanguage, Jerry Seinfeld has captured on the page his views on topics ranging from Raisinettes to relationships, from childhood to cop shows, and from parents to power suits. This must-have book for all fans--and who isn't a fan?--remains available in both paperback and hardcover.

    Over the years, Miss Piggy has gleaned, glommed, and garnered wisdom about what's wrong with everyone else and what's right with her. And now, in the latest book from the Muppets, Miss Piggy is ready to share all of her best advice on love, fashion, career, attitude, and her secrets of diva-dom! And as an added bonus, it will help release your inner diva, so you can get what you deserve and give others exactly what they deserve! A few of the idiotic things men do...HE'S JUST NOT READY TO COMMIT ? Let's begin with one of men and frogdom's all-time idiotic offenses.You give him the pleasure of your company (plus untold hours of prep time) and in return he's not willing to commit to anything. Mention a romantic getaway, a steady and exclusive dating policy, a long-term relationship, marriage?and he runs for the exits! WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: The best defense is a good offense, which means that you must never give up trying to make him commit. Remember: Never stop being offensive.HE'S STATUS OBSESSED -- It's all about the label, the fancy car, the platinum-encrusted watch, the vacation place in Gstaad, the showy perks. WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: Give moi his number.HE'S A NARCISSIST - This guy can usually be found at the gym defining his triceps, biceps, bicuspids, you name it. And when he's not pumping iron, he's primping in front of the mirror-tweezing, conditioning, moisturizing and otherwise invading your personal grooming space. WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: Ask yourself if he's such a hunk that he's worth it. If so, get more mirrors. If not, dump him?but get more mirrors anyway. After all, narcissism isn't a bad thing if it's about vous.

    Little’s exploration of “word travel” includes:• Shona, a language lacking distinct words for “blue” or “green”• Why Icelandic speakers must decide if the numbers 1-4 are plural• Which language is the only one lacking verbs• Just what, exactly, the Swedish names of IKEA products meanFully illustrated with hilarious sidebars, Biting The Wax Tadpole also addresses classic cases of mistranslation. For example, when Chinese shopkeepers tried to find a phonetic written equivalent of Coca-Cola, one set of characters they chose were pronounced “ke-kou ke-la.” It sounded right, but it translated literally as “bite the wax tadpole.” Not quite what Coke had in mind, but in this off-kilter ode to the words of the world, it’s just another example of language taking you someplace interesting.

    B.

    While the true intentions of these mysterious intruders from outer space are unknown, there's no doubt that their actions are nefarious. It's your right - your civic responsibility - to learn the skills necessary to protect yourself, your loved ones and ultimately your planet.Aliens want to whisk you away in the night to perform terrifying experiments on you. Isn't it time you learn how use your MP3 player to defend yourself from their paralyzing powers? Shouldn't you know how to evade the pursuit of a flying saucer? Wouldn't you sleep better at night knowing some proven hand-to-hand combat techniques guaranteed to stop your extraterrestrial foe in its tracks?Make no mistake - our world is under attack and this handbook may be the only thing standing between the human race and total annihilation. Read it and join the resistance.