Clovenhoof's Diary: September


Heide Goody - 2018
    And St Michael’s Secondary School has got a new member of staff. Jeremy Clovenhoof, has spent six years living the quiet life in the suburbs after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he thinks it’s time to share all he has learned with the next generation. Whether it’s turning toilet graffiti into art, getting a date by making nuisance calls or making the most of being ill, he’s got advice for everyone. Join Clovenhoof at the start of his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

Amongst the Liberal Elite: The Road Trip Exploring Societal Inequities Solidified by Trump (Resist)


Elly Lonon - 2018
    It takes more than listening to NPR on our daily commutes and reading Jon Stewart's Twitter feed in bed while we sip craft beer from artisanal glassware made by at-risk women on another continent to make us global citizens. That won't stop this affable, endearing couple from trying, though.Based on the successful McSweeney's column, Amongst the Liberal Elite takes readers on a cross-country road trip with Alex and Michael, romantic partners whose voices will resonate with fans of shows such as Portlandia, Parks and Recreation, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, and Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver. The couple decides to use their tax refund to reconnect with their fellow Americans via a cross-country road trip and, more specifically, better understand how in the world Trump won the election. In a quest to visit The World's Largest Frying Pan--of which there are six in the U.S.-Alex and Michael embark on a journey marked with personal and societal realizations. Arguments about topics ranging from mom-shaming to misogyny related to their pet cat, unsuccessful attempts at yoga meditations in small spaces, and anticlimactic touristic attractions that deepen their gloom about the nation, bring Alex and Michael clarity about what it means to resist. Amongst the Liberal Elite is the political satire we've all been waiting for-the one that offers comic relief from ourselves.

Deadlines Don't Care If Janet Doesn't Like Her Photo


David Thorne - 2021
    Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall of a creative agency? No? Well, that’s fine as well. You wouldn’t know you were in an agency anyway; flies have no concept of that kind of thing. All they’re interested in is standing in poo then walking around the rim of your coffee mug.

If Clouds Were Sheep: A tale of sheep farming in the Cotswolds


Sue Andrews - 2019
    She is a horse-mad girl strongly attracted to the idea of farming, Aubrey is the son of a farm manager without land or money. But with limited knowledge, much enthusiasm and the challenge of raising their young family, anything can happen. This is the true story of a shepherding life; where icy nights are spent searching for lost sheep, the lambing sheds are filled with the first cries of newborns, and idyllic summers are spent in the show ring. Amusing, poignant and beautifully detailed, this is a book about how dreams can grow from small beginnings into breeding prize-winning Texel sheep in the Cotswolds. Sue and Aubrey Andrews are internationally renowned breeders of pedigree Texels. Perfect for fans of The Yorkshire Shepherdess and The Shepherd's Life.

The Adventures of Charlie Smithers


C.W. Lovatt - 2012
    Make way for Charlie Smithers.The time is the nineteenth century. The place, the Serengeti Plain, where one Charlie Smithers – faithful manservant to the arrogant bone-head, Lord Brampton (with five lines in Debrett, and a hopeless shot to boot) – becomes separated from his master during an unfortunate episode with an angry rhinoceros, thereby launching Charlie on an odyssey into Deepest Darkest Africa, and subsequently into the arms of the beautiful Loiyan…and that’s where the trouble really begins.Maasai warriors, xenophobic locals, or evil Arab slavers, the two forbidden lovers encounter everything that the unforgiving jungle can throw at them."A truly engaging read that will keep anyone’s attention from the hilarious beginning until the last word. I highly recommend this 5 star novel." ~ Chapters & Chats

The Hope Valley Hubcap King


Sean Murphy - 2002
    Bibi, the first male in twelve generations of Browns not to have taken his own life, has a furious crush on a beautiful nine-fingered woman and an unbearable urge to understand the meaning of Time, the Universe, and America. So Bibi begins his quest--careening through a world of bizarre cults, gravity-defying crones, and lunatics of every stripe--all for a chance to meet his long-lost uncle Otto, a legendary junk-dealer who lives on the Hope Valley Hubcap Ranch. Because in a world that is spinning a little too fast, and a little too wildly, Bibi’s destiny is to find the essence of hope, the beauty of hubcaps, and the meaning of life in the Valley of the Hubcap King....With a touch of Candide, a dash of Don Quixote, and healthy dose of Zen, Sean Murphy’s wondrous, riotous novel is the story of an ordinary man searching through a hilariously off-kilter world--for the truths that might just save us all.From the Paperback edition.

Sexy Liberal!: Of Me I Sing


Stephanie Miller - 2015
    With Arbitron ratings clocking over 3+ million listeners a week and simulcast daily in 37 million homes on Free Speech TV, where she is also the number one show, her strongest numbers are in the grand prize demographic of highly educated males 25-54, despite, or maybe because of , her status as an out gay woman. It probably explains the sublime effectiveness of her national billboard slogan: "Stephanie Miller...making men rise in the morning". Stephanie also headlined the country’s number one comedy tour, “Stephanie Miller’s Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour", as well as the number one comedy album, "Stephanie Miller's Sexy Liberal Comedy Album". She has recently had her second #1 comedy album in the country with her "Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour, Volume One". She frequents the Holy Trinity of cable news: CNN, MSNBC, and FOX, where she bursts the infallibility balloons of right wingers, often with one well-aimed pinpoint punchline. Here is SEXY LIBERAL!, which you can see as Al Franken rewritten by Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler horizontal on the desk of The Daily Show. Steph is the youngest child of Congressman William Miller of NY, Barry Goldwater’s running mate in 1964. We all know how that turned out. Though Steph was only 3, she shows here how that defeat affected her as much as it changed the Republican Party. It made her who she is. SEXY LIBERAL! is the book her 3,000,000 fans have been begging her to write. it’s both deeply personal and hilariously political. But most of all it is Stephanie’s unique voice, her jokes, her happy clappy optimism, and her truth that they tune in to day after day, that they download as a subscription podcast, that they buy tickets for, to see her unbleeped and in person. That’s what SEXY LIBERAL! delivers. Like an uncensored comedy drone right to your door!“Stephanie Miller is like ice cream for breakfast, or box-wine through a Krazy Straw: pure pleasure that some people say is bad for you, but you know better. Sexy Liberal! is deeply, deeply profane, big-hearted, surprising, and it might make you pee your pants a little. Just what you need! Read this book. Stephanie Miller for Everything, 2016!”--Rachel Maddow, host of The Rachel Maddow and author of Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power “Sexy Liberal! is a great book with mind-expanding astuteness and side-splitting humor. Stephanie Miller is so wondrously witty and wise you will want to quote her. But, first, you must read her. Buy this book and help Amazon at last turn a profit. --Lily Tomlin “Sexy Liberal! is inspired reading. It is laugh-enhancing and beyond thought-provoking! A must read. --Jane Wagner Reading Stephanie's book is like being on the best kind of dinner date. The conversation is smart, funny and politically insightful. And Stephanie's contribution bad either. Seriously, what a fun read. Stephanie, in her wonderfully self-deprecating way, lets you into her brilliant mind, her no BS take on the political scene, and life itself. Enter at your own risk.--Rob Reiner

House of Testosterone: One Mom's Survival in a Household of Males


Sharon O'Donnell - 2007
    When you are the mother of boys, it seems like this question is on a continuous tape loop in your head. Humor columnist Sharon O’Donnell knows this feeling. In House of Testosterone, she chronicles her adventures raising three sons and reining in her über-male, forgetful husband, Kevin. She shares her stories of welcoming her third son into the world, resisting the gravitational pull of the “guy zone,” and running a household immersed in a world of sports, bathroom humor, and laundry. O’Donnell’s spirit shines through as she struggles to find some “me time” or survive another comical family vacation.These entertaining episodes of child- (and husband-) rearing lovingly illustrate why Sharon calls herself “Lady of the House of Testosterone.”

Tales Around the Jack O'Lantern III: A Mary O'Reilly Short Story


Terri Reid - 2016
    Join the O'Reilly family once again as they meet around the Jack O'Lantern on Halloween night and share ghost stories that will make you shiver and have you looking over your shoulder to see if there is "a little something extra" wandering through your home tonight.

The High School Chronicles: Archie Freshman Year - Book 1


Batton Lash - 2009
    Weatherbee as principal of Riverdale High, the formation of Moose and Midge's relationship (and Reggie's subsequent schemes to split them up), and other Archie staples! So get your Homecoming dress, pack your brand-new backpack, and pick up your school map to find your way to the biggest Archie story of the year!

How to Move to Canada: A Discontented American's Guide to Canadian Relocation


André Du Broc - 2016
    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

Garfield: Unreality TV


Scott Nickel - 2017
    Join Garfield, Odie, and Jon in a series of all-new adventures from legendary Garfield and Friends show writer Mark Evanier, ongoing Garfield contributors Scott Nickel and Antonio Alfaro, and New York Times best-selling cartoonist Judd Winick (Hilo).

8 Deaths (And Life After Them)


Mark Watson - 2021
    

The Man Inside Me


Tobias Fünke - 1992
    Intimately penned by pioneering Analrapist Dr. Tobias Fünke, Inside Me takes the reader on an incredible journey of self discovery. Through a series of divulgent anecdotes, Fünke plumbs the dark depths of his psyche, recounting his family's struggle with addiction while touring in a pharmaceutically-themed folk music act, and exploring to his own ongoing battle with never-nudity.

Committed: Confessions of a Fantasy Football Junkie


Mark St. Amant - 2004
     As seen on ESPN's Cold Pizza Fantasy football -- one of America's most popular, and profitable, virtual pastimes -- became a way of life for sports humorist and author Mark St. Amant. Utterly fed up with never having won his league championship, St. Amant abandoned a successful advertising career to make fantasy football his full-time job, embarking on a sprawling reconnaissance mission to discover what really makes this game, and its 20 million players, tick. Committed is the result of St. Amant's ranting, relentless, and strategic pursuit of his own obsession. In this wickedly funny and deeply informative work, St. Amant offers readers an all-access sideline pass to his wild, unprecedented fantasy football season, and to the hobby itself. From its humble beginnings in a New York hotel in 1962 to a multibillion-dollar business today, from local and online leagues to high-stakes, cutthroat Las Vegas competitions, St. Amant lays bare the facts, figures, and fanaticism of fantasy football in all its multidimensional glory.