The author doesn't pull any punches describing the good, the bad, the funny and the just plain ridiculous of the Submarine Service. Besides a wealth of information about what it's like to serve on a submarine, you'll meet real life characters like Tongue, Snake and Button Butt John. Did submarines make them rude, crude, and crazy. Or does the Submarine Service act as a magnet for every nut in the Navy? One thing is sure, after two months underwater, and with their back pay in their back pocket, Sub Sailors are as wild as cowboys after a cattle drive. Bar the doors and hide your daughters. Every reader owes it to themselves to use Amazons "Look In" feature to take a peek inside this unique and entertaining book.

    The truth, of course, is that no parent knows what he or she is doing--not even Mel--and that's part of the fun as well as the horror. The short chapters either recount specific stories from the front lines ("The Day We Caught Our Kids Looking At Their Butt Holes," "She Sent Me to the Store for Feminine Hygiene Products") or take the form of lists--numbered observations, warnings, or words of wisdom ("5 things I Never Should Have Said To My Pregnant Wife," "10 Contradictions That Make Me Want to Run From My Minivan And Into The Woods"). Edwards is invariably funny, wry, and self-deprecating. Parenting and marriage, as he describes them, are humbling, in both the worst (lots of poop and vomit) and best (personal growth) ways. If you are a parent, husband, wife, or thinking about any of these roles, this book is for you. It will make you laugh. It will make you think. It will make you cry. Sometimes all three at the same time.

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    Broken Bananah is my completely true and overly honest journey through severe genital trauma. What happens when you lose something you love? And... can you really break a penis? Absolutely, and mine was one of the worst on file. Tethered to a catheter and surrounded by that’s-what-she-said jokes, I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: it can always be worse. Experience life and love without a penis in a recovery story that could only happen in New York City. Let’s laugh til we cry, dive into the weird, and grapple with the power of sex in this modern coming-of-something tale.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    1965.  War's found himself deep in the glamorous yet lethal world of international espionage. Unhappy with both the treachery and restrictive dress-code, when a name from the past reappears in his life War realises he must risk everything to keep the world safe once again. This short story follows on from the How To Be Dead series and continues the tale of everybody's favourite grumpy Horseman of the Apocalypse...  What Amazon readers are saying about the How To Be Dead Comedy Fantasy Series: ★★★★★ “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.”★★★★★ “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.”★★★★★ “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.”★★★★★ "Laughs and excitement combined!"★★★★★ “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”★★★★★ "If you like Tom Holt, Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Dave Turner's books will fit perfectly into your collection."

    Two loving parents, a beautiful home, and grandparents that doted on her. Life was a dream until the day that changed everything. Sparrow's perfect life was ripped away at age three in one tragic moment that would forever change her. Follow her on her journey as she tells the story of her traumatic childhood and how she fought hard to stay strong despite her circumstances. In Riding Standing Up, Spaulding’s compelling storytelling will have you on the edge of your seat. Get ready to laugh out loud and cry more tears than you’d like as you follow her on her journey to empowerment, never knowing what’s around the corner. Brutally honest, truth-teller Sparrow Spaulding has been an unsung antiheroine…until now. She shows us we don’t have to be perfect to be worthy and that there’s power in being real.

    The. Time. because it always works out eventually."What happens when an ambitious girl-next-door finds herself on her honeymoon all alone, without a husband? What happens when she meets a handsome stranger who proposes a deal too lucrative to walk off from?This is the story of Mahasweta who just wanted to redeem her self-esteem by at least succeeding at her career. Only, life doesn't happen that way. A lonely honeymoon turns into an unusual one as she agrees to an unrealistic deal.This is a short, sweet, silly, feel good love story, with some laughter, some absurdities, some fun, some feelings and a beautiful and kind Fairy Godmother, too!

    And it is Modi-led India that has this high honour. Prime Minister Modi rolls out the red carpet for the aliens. He receives them at the airport, shows them the sights in Delhi and convinces them to invest in the Make in India campaign. The leader of the alien delegation even holds a broom to promote Swachh Bharat. But what is the real reason the aliens have come to India? Are they friends? Or will they turn foes? Read this hilarious, rib-tickling novel from the author of Unreal Elections to find out.

    Afraid her mother will die in childbirth, Cordelia runs away, heading for Westport, Missouri, and her aunt, the only person who might be able to save her mother. Disguising herself as a boy, she sets out on foot to make the 150-mile trip down the Kansas River. She hitches rides with a variety of travelers going east, facing setbacks along the way while learning lessons about the world and her place in it.Cordelia's Journey is the first book in the Pierce Family Saga, a series of historical novels that follow Cordelia and her family through the latter half of the nineteenth century.

    Written for Americans, but equally amusing to anyone visiting the shores of the Great Southern Land, this book examines the relationship between Australia and the U.S., including how Australians view their American cousins. The author has plenty of experience of working and dealing with Americans. He is married to an American nurse and has lived his life within the massive cultural influence that America has shared with Australia since the Second World War. The author’s stories are brimming with empathy and jokes for his American audience. The book is written from the opinion of an Aussie Bloke and the easy-to-digest chapters are just long enough to leave the reader smiling and well informed.Topics include Blokes and Sheilas, Bloody Foster’s, Dangerous Creatures, Talking to Dogs, The GAFA, Speaking Strail-yun and Working for the Queen. Confused? You won’t be after reading this book!

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    His encounters at Emperor Akbar`s Court are legendary.Birbal`s close friendship with Akbar earned him many enemies. Birbal survived countless murder attempts.Numerous stories have been spun around these plots.These stories were passed on from generation to generation. And the legend of Birbal grew.Unicorn Books presents 50 Birbal stories in this collection for children.Some Interesting Tales:*Akbar and Birbal`s First Meeting*Pulling the Emperor`s Whiskers*The Egg Trick*Stone Flowers versus Real ones*How to retrieve a ring*Unlucky ProfessionsAbout the author:Clifford Sawhney, has over 20 years experience in the print media, corporate communications and publishing industry.His writings have appeared in the Hindustan Times, Discover India, Life Positive, Parade, Parenting, Clarity, Debonair, Hotel & Food Service, Rave, e-Commerce, The Diplomatist, Training & Management and other periodicals.This book is his second venture for Unicorn Books after The Funniest Tales of Mullah Nasruddin.

    Bullies and misers, dreamers and the narrow-minded, all got a taste of his wit, much to the delight of readers.

    It's a quirky cultural history, social satire with a twist. Here are letters of congratulation-to newly elected Ronald Reagan ("This is my dream come true!") and letters of outrage-to Pepsi ("Take the Madonna commercial off the air!"). Letters filled with fresh ideas-proposing to Swanson a "Fit for a President Microwave Dinner" series, including the Jimmy Carter Camp David Accord Style Fried Chicken and Grits. And letters of advice-how Coca-Cola should handle the "pubic hair in the can of Coke" reference during the Thomas hearings.And the best part: the replies.CITIZEN LAZLO! Over 100 new letters. We missed you. 61,000 copies in print.