Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    She would marry a man called Tod or Brad and she would have two perfect children. But instead she married a Jeff and he’s just confessed to having an affair.Spurred on by supportive friends and her unpredictable sister Max, she finds the job she was born for: Wife for Hire. Sam manages everything from domestic help to renovations to social events for many satisfied customers.However when Hal Buchanan is added to her client list but claims not to need her services, Sam realises that while she can organise many things in life, she is not so businesslike when her emotions are involved.

    forever.Before you walked into my life, all I did was survive...you made me rediscover what it means to be alive.HICCUPS is a tender love story that leaves you with a happy feeling. The story revolves around the life of the protagonist, how he struggles through life as a student taking care of his mother; paying for his engineering expenses with scholarships and awards. Enclosed in a wall of priorities doing well in his studies was paramount to him.What transpires when he meets a beautiful, witty and intelligent girl with a penchant for the good things in life? Destiny brings the two of them together under the unlikeliest of circumstances. What follows is a fascinating journey that will change their lives forever.

    One spring night, while at home on a break from college, the threesome embarks on a night of adventure and experimentation, driving recklessly through the Connecticut Valley. Stopping at the French King Bridge, David -- full of hubris and hallucinogens -- dares to jump, mistakenly believing he'll be able to swim ashore. With this one act, he sets in motion an inexorable chain of events that indelibly alters the lives of everyone involved.Told through the alternating voices of Kay, Michael, and David's father, Kevin, The River Road is a closely observed and psychologically penetrating narrative of the accusations, murder investigation, and courtroom battle that follow.

    As they each tell their separate stories of fear, confusion and loss, they try to unravel the truth of what happened - and confront the bitter possibility that one of them may be lying.As their train hurtles through a long sleepless night, a third passenger eavesdrops on their conversation, mesmerized by a complex dialogue that probes into the very nature of truth and personal identity. A story of love and doubt, Overnight to Innsbruck is charged throughout with tantalizing puzzles and all the tension of a first-class psychological thriller - and marks the debut of a remarkably fresh and original voice in Irish literature. DENYSE WOODS was born in Boston, USA, in 1958. She has travelled extensively, living in the USA, Belgium, Australia, Italy, Iraq and England, before returning to settle in Ireland in 1987. She obtained a BA in Arabic and English in 1981, and subsequently worked as a translator for PARC Management Services in Iraq, where she shared a terrace with Saddam Hussein. In 1988 she won the Irish Times Short Story Competition. She now lives in County Cork with her husband and two daughters.

     But when a casual fling turns serious, will they both be down for the ride? Riley Pratt is content living her quiet, less-than-thrilling life in the city minding her own business. Due to her hectic work schedule and self-made career as one of Savannah's up-and-coming interior designers, she's learned to keep her thoughts to herself and her eyes on the prize-- a fruitful, shining career in design. Until Cameron Alden waltzes into town.Always thinking up his next cocky comeback, Cameron is arrogant and annoyingly charming in all the wrong ways. Heir to the largest whiskey distillery in the South, he prides himself on being well-endowed but also claims he's prudish as hell. Official word around town? He's Savannah's hottest bachelor. And he takes complete advantage of it.Which... isn’t Riley’s glass of rosé. Though she can feel sparks flying rampant when they’re together, will Riley give him a chance? Or is she too sure that Cameron's old habits will die hard, making her just another one-night stand?

    These days it's Rory who has to look after the old man, and both of them dread being split up. But when he's told his grandad needs to go into a home and that he will be fostered, Rory is galvanised into setting out on the run with Granda. But where are they going, and where can they hide when their faces are plastered all over the newspapers and TV?

    “Eggman” Robotnik and the rest of the cast of the comics and SEGA games in this first-of-its-kind Best of Sonic the Hedgehog graphic novel collection! After nearly twenty years of comics, specials and mini-series, Sonic the Hedgehog has hundreds of great stories to his name. Through the laughs and thrills, the action and adventure, the highs and lows, some stories stand out among the rest. Join us as the Archie Comics Sonic Team picks their favorite stories from the history of the series and presents them in this thematic must-have collection! Included in this collection are "Mecha Madness" (featured in Sonic Archives 10 and Sonic Select 2), chosen by writer Ian Flynn; the finale to "Endgame" (featured in Sonic Archives 13), chosen by artist Patrick Spaziante; "Order from Chaos" (from Sonic the Hedgehog issues 168-169) chosen by artist Tracy Yardley!; and "Future Tense" (from Sonic the Hedgehog issue 215), chosen by artist Jamal Peppers. Don't miss out on this collection of the best Sonic stories to date, chosen by the most popular Sonic creators!

     With hundreds of thousands of copies sold, Earthrise has captivated readers around the world. This bundle includes the first SIX novels of this bestselling series. If you loved Ender's Game and Starship Troopers, you'll love Earthrise. From a USA Today bestselling author. Earthrise is a story of humanity struggling to rise from ruin. A devastating alien invasion hit us hard. Billions died. Our world burned. Space, we learned, swarms with predators. And only the strongest can survive in these shadows. Heroes gather. Earth's ragtag army flies out to fight. Together, we must beat back the aliens. We must claim our territory among the stars. Earth must rise . . . or we will all fall.

    There he finds none other than Benjamin Franklin, who reveals the brilliant soldier's assignment: He is to travel to Russia disguised as a British mercenary and convince Catherine the Great not to join the British in their war with America. It is not a quest for the weak of heart, for to succeed, Selkirk must survive savage terrain, starving wolves, secret assassins, marauding Cossacks, a court of seductive young women, and even a dramatic romantic face-off with the legendary Tsarina herself.

    And what better way than to rob a Manhattan Company bank? Enter Bob Temple, the volatile outlaw who takes Francis under his wing— though not without a degree of suspicion— and so begins the adventures of the Blackstone Temple Gang as they crisscross the west in search of treasure, redemption, and the possibility of requited love.After an encounter with a rival gang, Francis and Bob Temple are chased over the Sierras to California, where they enjoy unexpected fame as gentleman bandits. But their newfound celebrity brings hardships as well, and when their final job takes a startling turn, Francis is forced to discover what it means to make peace with a world that stands against him.At once a tribute to boyhood enthusiasm and the heroes of classical quests, Like Rum-Drunk Angels is an offbeat, slightly magical, entirely original retelling of Aladdin as an American western.

    

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    It's that good." - Colonel D. Paquin, U.S. Army 10th Mountain Division An Amazon Best Seller in the U.S., U.K., Canada, & Australia! Wrong Town fuses the worlds of special operations, counterintelligence, police work, and small-town drama into a gripping adventure full of characters with monumental responsibilities and real-life troubles. Follow thirty-nine-year-old veteran Mark Landry as he returns home, having retired from an American government black-ops unit. In a small town north of Boston with a rich history, Landry finds that the only girl he has ever loved, Luci Alvarez, is now an extraordinary policewoman at the precarious center of a community’s struggles with change, amidst a powder keg of fear and paranoia not seen since colonial times. Landry seeks to convince Officer Alvarez that he is home for good as he learns the astonishing answer to a lifelong mystery. Landry is eager to begin his new life, but events threaten to expose disturbing details of his past that would send shockwaves through the country and sabotage the only relationship he cares about. As terrorist attacks and targeted mass shootings increasingly litter American soil, two new realities come into focus: the war on terrorism’s geographic center of gravity is shifting, and Landry’s new life is beginning to look a lot like the career he left behind.