Where I come from, the children sing a song:Oh, the motherfucking sharks; Oh, they're gonna come to town.Oh, they're gonna kill the babies; Oh, they're gonna make you drowned in your blood.Oh, the motherfucking sharks; Oh, they're gonna mince the flesh.They're gonna swim up and surround you; Don't you know you'll never pass the test, it's over.Oh, the motherfucking sharks; Oh, they don't care about the gods.And they don't care about the familiesAnd they don't care about the cries or tears they're killers.Motherfucking sharks.Motherfucking sharks.Motherfucking sharks.Motherfucking sharks.

    Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero. Rico Slade doesn't care about the political climate. Rico Slade has an advance degree in badassery. Rico Slade's favorite food is the honey-roasted peanut. Rico Slade can rip out a throat with his bare hands. But Rico Slade's arch nemesis, Baron Mayhem, is threatening to drop a bomb on the Earth that will kill every human being except himself while leaving the world's currency intact. To save the planet, Rico Slade must journey across Hollywood to find Baron Mayhem. Unfortunately, Rico Slade's crime fighting style involves ripping out the throat of anyone who gets in his way, including grandmothers and Midwestern tourists.As Rico Slade leaves Hollywood in ruins, the only person who can stop him from destroying the city is his Jewish psychologist, Harold Schwartzman. Until he does, Rico Slade will kill as many people as it takes to thwart Baron Mayhem's evil scheme. Rico Slade will fucking kill everyone.RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.Praise for the book:"A one-man Expendables wrecking crew." - SUPERHERO NOVELS"Rico Slade can grab Chuck Norris by a wrist and an ankle and use him as a jump rope. If you're looking for some well-crafted literary mayhem that entertains and pleases in equal degrees, this is the book for you." - THE AUSTIN POST"And, though brilliant and vastly intelligent, it should also be noted that Bradley Sands is a dick." -CRACKED.COM"If you like violence. If you have a decent sense of humor. If you have ever wondered what would happen if Richard Brautigan wrote a 90's action film instead of killing himself in the winter of 1984...These are all great reasons to read Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You." - HOUSEFIRE"Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a biting piece of satire on the "unreality" of Hollywood." -THE UNDEAD RAT "Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is laugh out loud funny, full of cheesy dialogue, testosterone, and can easily be read in one sitting. Buy it now or Rico Slade might rip out your fucking throat."- SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION"If Eugene Ionesco had a threesome with two reels of 80s action movies, the baby would be this book. If you like ridiculous humor with the hands-down wildest action you will ever read, this is your book." - ZOMBIEBLOODFIGHTS

    A deft, masterful mix of both bizarro and horror."--Brian Keene, author of The Rising and Ghoul"Dark and grim and surreal." --Electric LiteratureMondays suck. You get mugged, your car won't start, you miss the bus, and your stylist burns a bald spot into your head. Suddenly you're single and unemployed, and the only friend you have left is a cat. By Tuesday, you've been murdered. But death isn't the end. You find yourself on an odyssey between weird worlds, reborn each time you die, stalked obsessively by the man who killed you.Even in death, you just can't seem to catch a break. Call it Mercury in retrograde, call it Murphy's law, call it . . .SHIT LUCK

    It’s an all-encompassing love that sweeps her off her feet but also leaves her dangling with nothing to hold onto. It’s thrilling, unlike anything she’s ever felt before, and she gives her whole heart to this marriage, to this willful, passionate man.Things change when she becomes a mother. It’s not just the two of them anymore, and as Esther gives a large piece of her heart to her daughter, Rosa, she starts to realize that maybe love shouldn’t be this hard. That she shouldn’t have to give up her whole self to be with him. That now that she’s a mother, she can’t.Set in the years leading up to The Woodlands, The Willful follows Esther, Rosa’s mother, as she navigates young motherhood, a marriage on the brink, and the hard decisions that come with living in a controlled world with an uncontrollable man.

    Then came a final blow no one could have expected: all the world’s corpses rising up to make more.Born into this bleak and bloody landscape, twelve-year-old Julie struggles to hold on to hope as she and her parents drive across the wastelands of America, a nightmarish road trip in search of a new home.Hungry, lost, and scared, sixteen-year-old Nora finds herself her brother’s sole guardian after her parents abandon them in the not-quite-empty ruins of Seattle.And in the darkness of a forest, a dead man opens his eyes. Who is he? What is he? With no clues beyond a red tie and the letter “R,” he must unravel the grim mystery of his existence—right after he learns how to think, how to walk, and how to satisfy the monster howling in his belly. The New Hunger is a glimpse of the past and a path to an astonishing future…

    Blessed with the physique of a demigod and one of the world’s foremost minds, he travels the globe on a quest to confront evil and punch it in the face. At his disposal is a vast fortune, an endless array of gadgets and loyal friends. Now, one of those friends has gone missing in a Central American jungle and the only clue is the grotesque image of a demonic tribal mask. Dam and his trusted valet Bertrand rush headlong into danger and go face-to-face with evil incarnate to save their missing friend and attempt to destroy the Horror in Honduras.

    

    But with dire consequences.ANGIE by John F.D. Taff - A divorced couple tries to ensure their survival after society collapses. Navigating the treacherous back roads of America, they realize the horror of true devotion.ON THE THRESHOLD by William Meikle - How far is science willing to go to prove we're not alone and possibly find the terrifying dangers that exist beyond the threshold?DOYOSHOTA by Ken Altabef - One by one the residents of a Nevada town are succumbing to the debilitating effects of a strange hum. Many believe it’s a black ops program others are convinced of its far darker origins.THIRD OFFENSE by Gregory L. Norris - In an oppressive society where creativity is banned and advertising is all-pervasive, a factory worker attempts to escape enslavement with horrifying results.METAMORPHOSIS by J. Daniel Stone - Together, a brother and sister discover the unique bond has the ability to affect humanity in the darkest of ways.WE ARE HALE, WE ARE WHOLE by Eric Del Carlo - Global climate change has reshaped the world, and multi-national corporations control every aspect of life. To what horrifying lengths will they go in the struggle to maintain profit?PURE BLOOD AND EVERGREEN by Bracken MacLeod - Victims of ethnic cleansing, two boys share a painful struggle for survival. Their actions start events that leave the lives of everyone they know hanging in a dangerous balance.JOHN, PAUL, XAVIER, IRONSIDE AND GEORGE (BUT NOT VINCENT) by Hugh A.D. Spencer - Earth is under attack by mysterious biomechanical entities. With the end near, one man spends his last days with an enigmatic client who is of great import to those in charge.AND THE HUNTER, HOME FROM THE HILL by Edward Morris - Could it be that accounts of superheroes are actually based in reality? It could be that the old man living down the street is hiding his own dark secrets.BORN BAD by Jonathan Balog - Raised by the church, Lucien harbors a frightening secret that may prove to have dire circumstances for mankind.THE LAST BASTION OF SPACE by Ewan C. Forbes - Privatization has run amok and simple pleasures come at a premium price. For one young couple there is no choice but to turn their minds over to insidious corporate control.EVERY SOUL IS A GRIMOIRE by Allen Griffin - Harvey works for a shadowy government and is responsible for a man with dangerous knowledge. Being near him is blurring his reality and opening the door to terrifying evil.FROM THE EAST by Alice Goldfuss - After global cataclysm, a scientist struggles to determine the cause. Driven by professional convictions, she finds herself in a struggle for the existence of humanity.DECIDING IDENTITY by Paul Williams - Faced with the collision of two worlds, the citizens of each are given the choice to decide who shall live and who shall die.THE LAST ELF by T. Fox Dunham - The fate of humanity rests with a sociopathic concentration camp commander. Having spent a lifetime chasing the enemies of Germany, he finds himself on the verge of his crowning achievement—ultimate extermination.

     Angus assembles a team to accompany him to the island but keeps the details to himself. After tricking a paleontologist and his girlfriend to join them on the expedition, things begin to spiral wildly out of control. The secret hidden on the The Island In The Mist has kept the prehistoric beasts from extinction. Man will not be able to claim it without a fight!

    He thought he had one—or many—but that might be the result of the failing memories of the personalities imprinted within him. Or maybe he really is called X.He’s also not as human as he believes himself to be.But when he discovers the existence of another—above ground, outside the protection of the Warren—X must learn what it means to be human, or face the destruction of their two species.

    Things go to hell in a hurry once the team reaches the island and the massive megalodon that attacked their boats is only the beginning of their desperate fight for survival. Nothing could have prepared billionaire explorer Joseph Thornton and washed up archaeologist Christopher "Colt" McKinnon for the terrifying prehistoric creatures that wait for them on JURASSIC ISLAND!

    Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no red shirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a light saber. But these Shatner- clones are about to learn a hard lesson . . . that the real William Shatner doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even himself.

    But with every step toward freedom, Alex finds there will be no escaping the secret horrors and nightmarish creatures haunting his endless nights until he confronts and destroys the prison’s mastermind.This ebook bundle includes all five books in the series from author Alexander Gordon Smith: Lockdown, Solitary, Death Sentence, Fugitives, and Execution. Also included is the companion short story, The Night Children.“Fresh and ferocious . . . will hook boys with its gritty, unrelenting surprises.” —James Patterson, author of the Maximum Ride series “Furnace is hotter than hell and twice as much fun.” —Darren Shan, author of the Demonata series

    My name is Jimmy Plush. I'm a private detective. I'm also a teddy bear. It all started when the original Jimmy Plush entered my life, offering to take my gambling debts away if I agreed to switch bodies with him. But I didn't know that being a three-foot-high plush toy would be such a living hell, especially now that everyone in town wants a piece of me. All I've gotten out of this deal is a faithful Chinese chauffeur, a custom teddybear .45, and a girlfriend who won't take off the fox suit she turns tricks in. Now I've got to keep this town clean and try to track down the real Jimmy Plush without losing my stuffing for good. Only one thing is for sure: Life is hard when you're soft. Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective is a high octane pulp satire. In the tradition of Sam Spade, The Shadow, Dick Tracy, Hellboy and Howard the Duck comes a new kind of hero, a hero that reminds us that the measure of a man is in his guts and his gun.

    But instead of seeing the world, Bernard is captured by terrorists, becomes a key figure in secret drug wars, and, worse, doesn't once miss his secure American Dream.