When Eddie's former caddie, "Fat Albert" Auberlain (a cross between Tiger Woods and John Daly), loses his PGA Tour card, his endorsements, and his composure after posting a twelve on a par three at the Fruit-of-the-Loom Waste Management Open, Eddie finds the sad sack on his doorstep. Fat Albert, in debt up to his eyeballs and with several needy relatives to feed, had barely been eking out a living on Tour as it was, and the pressure was threatening to make him implode altogether. Eddie takes pity on his protege but isn't quite sure what he can do, when along comes nuclear physicist Norman Standish with the most revolutionary advance in golf equipment since the double niblick-a golf ball they call Scratch. If Standish's claims are true, Eddie could make the killing of his strange and wonderful life and just possibly change the game forever. With McAllister's patented golf hustling hijinks, roller-coaster plotting, and laugh-out-loud skewering of pro sports hypocrisy, Eddie's die-hard fans and golf fiction aficionados will laugh all the way to the putting green. As Eddie himself puts it in The Foursome, "Why do you think they call the devil "Scratch"?"

    His memoir is a funny, thrilling, and ruthlessly honest exhumation of his drinking life and a candid account of his first 90 days without alcoholTom traces his alcoholism back to his British boyhood at Eton College, England's oldest and most exclusive boarding school, where the boys had to wear tail suits to class and there was a school pub. He delves into his aristocratic family's well-documented fondness for the bottle and covers his own drinking apprenticeship as a trainee journalist on London's famously alcohol-sodden newspapers.Whether he is getting arrested for drunk driving at the age of 15, climbing naked into his friends' and colleagues' beds, or simply trying to file an emergency front-page update while reeling from a cocktail of Ecstacy and magic mushrooms, Tom takes the reader on an addictive journey into the insanity of intoxication—all too often followed by a mossy tongue, a dull headache, and one burning question: "What the hell did I do last night?"

    After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

    Saadiq Haider, a renowned gene therapist and professor at Stanford University, receives a phone call that changes his life. Abandoning his duties and responsibilities, Saadiq hurriedly boards a flight bound for India, embarking on a journey that spans thousands of miles and pulls him back into a past Saadiq thought long-buried. Seated next to him on the flight, Anne Miller—an intrepid journalist with a nose for headline news—senses the reclusive genius has a story to tell.During the flight, Anne manages to break through Saadiq’s hard exterior and listens, rapt, as he unfurls a tale fraught with love and heartbreak.His story transports Anne back in time to a small, sleepy town nestled in the mountains of northern India, where Saadiq spent his childhood. Through Saadiq’s narrative, Anne meets Maryam and witnesses the friendship between Maryam and Saadiq mature into an intense love; a love that is tested when tragedy strikes and the lovers are separated. Try as they might, their devotion is no match against the workings of fate, and the tighter Saadiq and Maryam cling to one another, the faster they slip apart.Now, after two decades of trying to forget his past with alcohol and drug abuse, Saadiq tells Anne that fate has acted again; Maryam is the hospital, her condition critical. When their plane lands in India, the newfound friends part ways and while Saadiq rushes to Maryam’s side, Anne returns to her life, grateful to have met the enigmatic man.Months later, Anne learns that after wrenching Maryam from the indomitable grip of death, Saadiq took her back to America, where they finally married. But, her assumption that the greatest love story she had ever known would end happily is shattered when Anne receives devastating news.

    

    The essays in How to Ruin Everything range from the absurd (how he became an international ivory smuggler) to the comical (his middle-school rap battle dominance) to the revelatory (his experiences with epilepsy), yet all are delivered with the type of linguistic dexterity and self-awareness that has won Watsky more than 765,000 YouTube subscribers. Alternately ribald and emotionally resonant, How to Ruin Everything announces a versatile writer with a promising career ahead.

    Never fear, there are hundreds of ways to revolt against the tedium of everyday life. Whether it’s making rude gestures to a hotel clerk under the desk or making your own "Do Not Disturb" sign that says "Come In If You Like Swordplay," Rich Fulcher's inventive collection will allow readers to unleash their rebellious sides—without getting arrested. Other tiny acts include unbuckling your seat belt before the plane has fully stopped, squeezing a zit into the ATM camera, driving through a lonely red light in the dead of night, wearing a French Renaissance outfit on casual Fridays, and greeting a stranger with a limp, well-lotioned hand. Featuring original illustrations by Mr. Bingo, the illustrator of The Book of General Ignorance whose clients have included Absolut, New York Times, Nike, and Suicide Girls; and designed by Dave Brown, also known as Bollo the gorilla in The Mighty Boosh and designer of The Mighty Book of Boosh.

    Nathan decided to draw his favorite tips and etiquette lessons and post them on the internet, where his 12 original panels went viral immediately and became the basis for this hilarious illustrated book (check out the fully animated ebook, too!).In NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette, Pyle reveals the secrets and unwritten rules for living in and visiting New York including the answers to such burning questions as, which cabs should I try to hail? What is a bodega? Which way is Uptown? Why are there so many doors in the sidewalk? How do I walk on an escalator? Do we need to be touching right now? Where should I inhale or exhale while passing sidewalk garbage? How long should I honk my horn? If New York were a game show, how would I win? What happens when I stand in the bike lane? Who should get the empty subway seats? How do I stay safe during a trash tornado? Each tip is a little story illustrated in simple black and white drawings.Visitors and newcomers to New York will love it because the advice is smart, funny, and not condescending. New Yorkers will love it for its strategic and humorous approach to mastering the daily chaos of the city.

    She and her husband Jack have been trying to get pregnant for years throughout their rocky marriage. But before she can tell him the big news, Jack has something he needs to announce – he wants a divorce!Rather than split up, Lucy and Jack decide to live together as friends. This way, they can share expenses and parenting responsibilities. Co-parenting is a fine deal for Jack who is back in the dating scene by Lucy’s third trimester of pregnancy, but is a frustrating one for Lucy who has unfulfilled sexual fantasies about every man from restaurant delivery boys to puppeteers. Meanwhile, Lucy’s mother is taking over her life. The grand dame of Planet Earth, Anjoli frequently visits her daughter to share her own brand of maternal wisdom. As Anjoli leaves her Drama Queen bookstore to “help” Lucy with baby Adam, the new grandmother has an affair with baby’s pediatrician, hosts two weddings (including cousin Kimmy’s wedding to herself), and constantly frets about which kind of pie to serve guests. With a cast of family and friends from Lucy’s Jewish aunts to Junior League neighbor, Candace, Tales From the Crib is the story of how one baby can bring people together – so they can drive each other nuts!

    Appalled by this lack of maturity, Mike draws up a To-Do list containing every single item he's been meaning to do but just keeps putting off...He's got a lot of stuff that needs doing. But unlike previous To-Do lists, he promises himself that this one will actually get DONE. And along the way, Mike will learn stuff about life (323), love (999), friends (1004) and family (9) and finally work out what it means to be a grown up (846).

    Poem

    Now in paperback, "Complete Short Poetry" gathers all of Zukofsky's poetry outside his 800-page magnum opus entitled" "A""--including work that appeared in "All: The Collected Short Poems, 1923-1964," the experimental transliteration (with Celia Zukofsky) of Catullus, the limited edition "80 Flowers," as well as several fugitive pieces never before collected."Zukofsky is the American Mallarm," writes Hugh Kenner, "and given the peculiar intentness of the American preoccupation with language--obsessive, despite what you may read in the newspapers--his work is more disorienting by far than his exemplar's ever was. Mallarm had a long poetic tradition from which to deviate into philology. Zukofsky received a philological tradition, which he raised to a higher power."

    Seasons is a lavish volume that ambles through the year with beauty and simplicity.

    The Authorized AdaptationGraphic novel

    He didn't want to use the weapon, but feared he might anyhow. This was a justifiable assumption, for Caswell was a homicidal maniac.It was a gentle, misty spring day and the air held the smell of rain and blossoming-dogwood. Caswell gripped the revolver in his sweaty right hand and tried to think of a single valid reason why he should not kill a man named Magnessen, who, the other day, had commented on how well Caswell looked.What business was it of Magnessen's how he looked? Damned busybodies, always spoiling things for everybody....Caswell was a choleric little man with fierce red eyes, bulldog jowlsand ginger-red hair. He was the sort you would expect to find perchedon a detergent box, orating to a crowd of lunching businessmen andamused students, shouting, "Mars for the Martians, Venus for theVenusians!"But in truth, Caswell was uninterested in the deplorable social conditions of extraterrestrials. He was a jetbus conductor for the New York Rapid Transit Corporation. He minded his own business. And he was quite mad.Fortunately, he knew this at least part of the time, with at least half of his mind........