Ernest Postlethwaite was a man embarking on a new life. No longer for him the routine and drudgery of the commuter... The first part of Ernest Postlethwaite's groundbreaking journal charters the course of a man on a mission to achieve cultural and linguistic integration in a small village in southern Spain. This unadulterated manuscript will bring tears to the eyes of the most hard-hearted amongst us, as we follow his footsteps into the great unknown. - 'This diary, written by my late husband, Ernest Postlethwaite, has been published expressly against his wishes, but with the full and hearty endorsement of my family and friends.' - From the introduction by Pamela Postlethwaite, Javea, Spain, December 2012 "I was captured from the first page. We've all come across expats like this, and Lowe brings together all the laughable elements into one hysterical character, Ernest. This parody of the expat diary genre had me laughing out loud. I can't wait for part two to come out. It reminded me most of Alan Ayckbourn plays in the 1980s (when I was a stage manager), and listening to the audiences leaving ... "Oh that ghastly character, wasn't he JUST like our neighbour / uncle / colleague?". They ALWAYS knew someone just like the dreadful people in the plays - they just never realised it was themselves. Let these posthumous "diaries" be a warning to expats everywhere - read it, enjoy it, and make sure it isn't about you!" - Tamara Essex review. ***** 'Part Two - Invasion' and 'Part Three - Consolidation' now available. ***** (This is a fictional diary.)

    NOW IN DEVELOPMENT TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE.‘I defy you to not laugh out loud at the adventures of the most unlikely hero of the apocalypse ever penned. Funny, touching and above all, hopeful’ THE END OF THE WORLD READING CLUBSOME THINGS BEGIN AT THE END OF THE WORLDBen Stone is sick to death. He’s sick of all the endless hatred since the wraths arrived. He’s sick of trying to find a refuge for him and his dog Brown to live out what’s left of their lives. But most of all he’s just sick. As Ben’s cancer spreads he’s left searching for a source of hope and warmth at the end of the world. Unfortunately for Ben it’s just started to snow...Flesh & Blood continues the story of Ben and Brown from the #1 bestseller Before and After, which is now in development to be a major motion picture.

    “Just when we thought the lawlessness in Iraq was over,” O’Farrell observes, “even more blatant incidents of looting have begun. With handkerchiefs masking their faces, two rioters roughly the height of George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld kicked in the gates of the largest oilfield and grabbed the keys of the gasoline trucks. ‘Yee-haw! It’s all ours! Millions of barrels of the stuff’ they laughed. ‘Yup!’ added the leader ‘ and this mask guarantees my anonymousinity!’ So after all these years there really is such a person as the Thief of Baghdad. Except strangely his accent sounded vaguely Texan.”A writer for the groundbreaking television show Spitting Image and contributor to the screenplay for the hit movie Chicken Run, O’Farrell meticulously researched his conclusions “by spending five minutes on the internet and then giving up.” And while O’Farrell’s sharpest barbs and stingers have often been written to come out of the mouths of grotesque puppets and Claymation chickens, this time around he keeps the best lines for himself: ‘‘With the election of the 43rd President of the United States, the global village is complete,” O’Farrell writes. “’It has its own global village idiot.’”

    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    But where once we settled down to admire the 'top-quality original songwriting' that the contest was inaugurated to showcase, throughout the long post-ABBA decades Eurovision has come to entertain us for all the wrong reasons: we chortle at its magnificent foolishness, its stubborn reinforcement of the crudest national stereotypes, at a scoreboard shamelessly corrupted by cross-border friendship and hatred. And as post-modern connoisseurs of showbiz meltdown, our focus has shifted from the blandly competent winners to the spangled, hapless, table-propping losers, those left to wander the lonely, windswept summit of Mount Fiasco. The gold standard of farcical failure, the benchmark of badness, to score nul points is to suffer international ignominy and find sympathetic understanding replaced by brutal guffaws. Remorseful of his own longstanding contributions to the latter chorus, yet darkly fascinated with those lives shadowed by the entertainment world's most grandiose humiliation, Tim Moore sets off to track down the thirteen Eurominstrels who have come and gone without troubling the scorers since Norway's Jahn Teigen twanged his silver braces and leapt splay-legged off the Palais des Congres stage in 1978. From Lisbon to Lithuania, from the Black Sea to the Baltic, Moore travels the continent to hear their extraordinary stories - 'poignant, ludicrous and heartwarming in almost equal measure' - recounting as he does so the no less improbable history of Eurovision itself, a towering cathedral of cheese that can nonetheless claim responsibility for keeping Norway out of the EU and catalysing the overthrow of a Portuguese dictatorship.

    Combining his trademark humor with an acute eye for the ridiculous, Mark admits his part in bands like The Berlin Airlift, the life-changing punk revolution in Bob Sleigh and The Crestas, and even a flirtation with thirty-something pub rock. Interwoven with the musical disasters is the appealing rites-of-passage story of a middle-class grammar school boy who finally leaves Bolton for university. Splattered with memorable episodes and Viz-like characters, Showbusiness retraces the steps that should have led Mark to headlining Wembley Arena, but which took him to Radio 1 instead.

    Penned by a former breakfast radio DJ on BBC 6 Music, access is granted to some of the country's brightest and best loved DJs and stations—from Terry Wogan, Chris Moyles, Johnny Vaughan, and Tony Blackburn to Heart and Capital, BBC Radio 1, and the R4's Today show. The biggest DJs and most popular shows in the country are covered, conducting an eye-opening journey through the teams who start off the morning for the general public, explanations of how they do it, and more importantly, why the British people are as in love with breakfast radio now as they ever were. Breakfast shows on local and even hospital radio are also explored, underscoring the importance of the most celebrated shows for these stations as well. From the playlists and controllers to the jingles and jokes, this hilarious handbook portrays the breakfast DJ as “celebrity,” making for a mischievous odyssey through the denizens of daybreak.

    My name is Lucy Little, and I’m an author.Actually, my mom thinks I’m a homeless bum with no health insurance, and my dad truly believes I’m as famous as Brad Pitt. He frequently asks me to sign napkins that he passes out like currency at the local police station where he likes to steal doughnuts. He’s a former cop. That probably makes his theft acceptable.There’s only one problem with this whole “author career” of mine, and it’s that I’m not actually making all that much money from it. I like to say I have a burgeoning career; I am making a living, but it’s a pretty dismal living. But that’s all about to change. I’ve got a new game plan, a pen that’s mightier than a sword—but not literally because I’m terrified of violence—and a bunch of words to put down on paper.Unfortunately, my plan gets thrown out the window the day I stumble upon a real live dead body. The next thing I know, I’m wrapped up neck deep in a murder investigation with the superhot cop who is also my ex-boyfriend. It’s all fun and games until the killer starts coming for me, and then I start wondering how I can write the end when I might be next?

    A collection of final drafts - jokes, characters and scenes that didn't make it into Father Ted series, along with an introduction to each episode by the authors, which explains how the insane plot lines arose.

    It will cheer up even the most miserable of old gits.

     Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Book is complete with stories about Larry David's childhood, his roots as a stand-up comic, and his various writing jobs before the breakthrough of Seinfeld. Readers will enjoy dating stories from his bachelor years, discover how he met his future wife, Laurie David, and learn why Cheryl Hines was picked to play his TV wife. A highlighted map of Santa Monica shows locations where favorite Curb scenes were filmed, such as the Toyota of Hollywood where Larry works as a car salesman. Ever wonder if there's a story behind the creation of Krazee-Eyez Killa's infamous rap? There is, and it's in this book, along with the tale of the ordinary afternoon lunch where the idea for Curb Your Enthusiasm was first formed. Perhaps best of all, fans can finally see Larry David's original scene outlines-just a few sentences from which the actors improvise-which eventually evolve into the carefully edited comedy that we see on air. After five hilarious seasons, Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Book offers fans an intimate view of the people, experiences, and stories behind one of television's funniest shows. Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Book is filled with hilarious images, insights, and behind-the-scenes moments, including: * Original interviews with and commentary from more than 100 cast and crew members, guest actors, comics, and friends and family, including Cheryl Hines, Jeff Garlin, Susie Essman, and Richard Lewis * An in depth, four-section interview with Larry David, covering everything from his childhood in Brooklyn to his emergence into the world of comedy and television. * Never-before-seen outlines from the show that are the basis for episode storylines. * Detailed episode guides for the show's first five seasons. * More than 100 full-color photographs.

    As mummy to 7-year old Ella, surrogate to far too many pets and with a failed marriage under her belt, Mavis knows she needs to make some life-changing decisions. It's time to strike out into the world, to stand on her own two feet … to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a Police Officer. I mean, what could go wrong? Supported by her quirky, malapropism-suffering mum, Mavis throws herself headlong into a world of uncertainty, self-discovery, fearless escapades, laughter and extra-large knickers. And using her newly discovered investigative skills, she reluctantly embarks on a search to find her errant dad who was last seen years before, making off with her mum's much needed coupon for a fabulous foam cup bra all the way from America.Follow Mavis as she tackles everything life can throw at her, and revel in Gina Kirkham's humorous, poignant and moving story of an everyday girl who one day followed a dream.

    The RockAteers are born. It must work, and not just for Burt’s sake. Egg has spent his life on the outside looking in, Tea needs to evade a tough future and Clipper wants more than a fast track to football academy. When Egg reveals his song-writing genius, the only way is up… But can they function as a band?Who will win the race to sign them? And who will win the girl?

    Pitch invaders aside, few of us get to experience that adrenalin rush. Of those who do make it as a professional footballer, even fewer realise the giddy heights of success. In the Illustrated History of Football: Hall of Fame, cartoonist David Squires returns to celebrate those who straddle the game like giants; those talented, determined souls who were juggling tennis balls in the back streets before they could talk. There’s more than one way to attain football immortality though, and Squires also turns his comic eye to the mavericks, the pioneers, the forgotten legends and the anti-heroes. From Pele to Meazza, Maradona to Socrates, you will be taken on an unforgettable journey through the good, the bad and the Hagi.

    Meet Bridget and Joan: Thelma and Louise on mobility scooters, reluctant residents of the Second Best Magnolia Retirement Home, and lifelong friends joined at the artificial hip.It’s been a wild year for the two rebellious wrinkletons: sherry and shoplifting, Sanatogen and sexting, and a mysterious toy boy who threatens their lifelong friendship and possibly even more…