Dead Girl's Guide to Style


Rose Pressey Betancourt - 2014
    As a personal stylist to the undead, she's on a mission to help every vampire in Savannah, Georgia find their signature style. (Fashion tip: red hides blood stains.)Max Dupree is her latest client, but Hadley soon discovers finding the perfect suit for Max is the least of their problems. Max's life isn't the same since his recent resurrection from the grave. Life is completely different from how he knew it back in 1894.But Max isn't the only one with problems. Things have changed for all vampires in Savannah since his return. If Hadley doesn't figure out why bad things are happening, finding fabulous accessories will be moot. It could mean permanent death for every vampire in town.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists


Gideon Defoe - 2004
    No, not since Treasure Island... Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time at sea, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition. Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure. While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it.

Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers


Grant Naylor - 1989
    But Lister didn't have a choice. All he remembered was going on a birthday celebration pub crawl through London. When he came to his senses again, with nothing in his pockets but a passport in the name of Emily Berkenstein.So he did the only thing he could. Amazed to discover they would actually hire him, he joined the space corps----and found himself aboard Red Dwarf, a spaceship as big as a small city that, six or seven years from now, would get him back to Earth. What Lister couldn't forsee was that he'd inadvertently signed up for a one--way jaunt three million years into the future---a future which would see him the last living member of the human race, with only a hologram crew mate and a highly evolved cat for company. Of course, that was before the ship broke the light barrier and things began to get really weird...

Best Laid Plans


Kathy Lette - 2017
    But her autistic twenty-year-old son Merlin is desperate to lose his virginity, and a prostitute seems like the only option . . . only Lucy picks up an undercover policewoman instead.Let off with a suspended sentence, Lucy resigns herself to the fact that her son will never have sex, let alone find love… until the morning she miraculously discovers Merlin in bed with a girl.But is tough, tattooed Kayleigh just taking Merlin for a ride? If so, why? And what has brought Lucy’s snake of an ex-husband wriggling back into their lives?As all her best laid plans for Merlin’s happiness chaotically unravel, will Lucy ever be able to cut her son’s psychological umbilical cord and start to live her own life? And will the funny, quirky and marvellously magical Merlin ever find real love?With plenty of comic twists and emotional turns, Kathy Lette’s riotous yet heartrending novel tackles the taboo subject of sex for the ‘differently abled’ – and shows us that when it comes to sex, we all have special needs …

Bronze Dragon


Eileen Mueller - 2019
    Strange beasts in the forest. A dangerous hunt for a missing sister and mother. And a mysterious bronze dragon. A routine hunting trip turns into a nightmare when Hans discovers a dead dragon rider, and strange beasts in the forest. Then his family goes missing. He must track the dangerous beasts to find his mother and sister, but everything goes go wrong. There’s only one hope left. A hope that could save his family and give him a new destiny. Dare Hans dream of the impossible? And what must he sacrifice to save his kin? Fans of Anne McCaffrey’s Dragon Riders of Pern and Christopher Paolini’s The Inheritance Cycle enjoy Riders of Fire. If you love epic coming-of-age fantasy, heart-pounding adventure and dragons, Bronze Dragon and the Riders of Fire series are for you. Start your adventure now! Scroll up and click to read today! Riders of Fire Series: Book 1: Ezaara Book 2: Dragon Hero Book 3: Dragon Rift Book 4: Dragon Strike Book 5: Dragon War Book 6: Dragon Healer Book 7: Dragon Mage Book 8: Dragon Calls Silver Dragon, a Riders of Fire story is available only at EileenMuellerAuthor.com

The Glass Gargoyle


Marie Andreas - 2015
    Giles has spent her life mining the ruins of the elves who vanished from the Four Kingdoms a thousand years ago. But when her patrons begin disappearing too—and then turning up dead—she finds herself unemployed, restless, and desperate. So she goes looking for other missing things: as a bounty hunter. Tracking her first fugitive—the distractingly handsome and strangely charming Alric—she unearths a dangerous underworld of warring crime lords, demonic squirrels, and a long-lost elven artifact capable of unleashing a hell on earth.Chased, robbed, kidnapped, and distressingly low on rent money, Taryn just wants one quiet beer and to catch her fugitive. But there’s more to Alric than his wicked grin—is he a wanted man or the city’s only hope? With menacing mages in pursuit and her three alcoholic faery sidekicks always in her hair, Taryn’s curiosity might finally solve the mystery of the elves… or be the death of her and destroy her world.

Daughter of Fate


Aaron Hodges - 2019
    Her mother and the other villagers are taken, accused of worshiping the False Gods. They will pay the ultimate price – unless Pela can rescue them. Pela has never left the safety of her town, let alone touched a sword. What chance does she have against the ruthless Knights of Alana? She’s not a hero.But she knows one.Her uncle Devon was a mighty warrior once, in times when magic filled the world. Age has withered his strength and he retired long ago, but maybe he will answer the call of family. Can Pela convince him to stand against the darkness one last time?

The Spires of Dasny: Dragon Riders School


Cheryl Rush Cowperthwait - 2020
    I scrambled up the Spires of Dasny, even though I knew it once was a haven for dragons and the old Dragon Riders School. The ground thundered. I trembled in the small niche tucked into the mountain. Had the knights returned? I caught my breath as an enormous green eye peered in. A dragon!I awoke in a deep, dark cavern. Staring at me through one opened eye lay a huge black dragon. I had been taught the stories of the dragons, of the days long ago when they ruled the sky and searched for their riders, but this wasn’t at all what I had been taught. Why was I there? Suddenly, pressure built up in my head. My eyes sprung wide in fear and... I heard him.What happens when three dragon riders come together as told in the prophecy? The Blind, the Healer and the Magician…There are secrets to be uncovered, but only if Seyra is brave enough. Discover the intriguing lives of the brash young Seyra and Dreyth, the one who rescues her--or is it she who rescues him?*I loved this story. It had shades of Anne McCaffery to it - and I loved her books.**This was amazing. I loved this line because it says so much. “One dragon eye slowly opened. It is possible. Sleep now. Sleep heals all things. We will talk later.” This has the beginnings of something grand. So good.**I thought of Anne McCaffrey while reading, so you must be doing something right. I liked the way you gave us all the information we needed without it feeling like an information dump. The section on the dragon riders felt natural.*

What in God's Name


Simon Rich - 2012
    For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. Lately, he's been spending most of his time on the golf course. And when he does show up at work, it's not to resolve wars or end famines, but to Google himself and read what humans have been blogging about him. When God decides to retire (to pursue his lifelong dream of opening an Asian Fusion restaurant), he also decides to destroy Earth. His employees take the news in stride, except for Craig and Eliza, two underpaid angels in the lowly Department of Miracles. Unlike their boss, Craig and Eliza love their jobs -- uncapping city fire hydrants on hot days, revealing lost keys in snow banks -- and they refuse to accept that earth is going under. The angels manage to strike a deal with their boss. He'll call off his Armageddon, if they can solve their toughest miracle yet: getting the two most socially awkward humans on the planet to fall in love. With doomsday fast approaching, and the humans ignoring every chance for happiness thrown their way, Craig and Eliza must move heaven and earth to rescue them -- and the rest of us, too.

The Afterlife Coach


Susan E. Paul - 2017
    For Claire Anderson, this crosses the line. To make matters worse, they’re on the lam and can’t be returned to sender until In Between, the afterlife way station, can arrange transportation to pick them up. In the meantime, Claire tries to contain this motley crew, hoping to stave off an international incident. How do they manage to walk among us? Will Claire succeed in repatriating them? And at what cost? The Afterlife Coach is a humorous tale of second chances, self-awareness and, for those among us who make bad choices, demonstrates just how hard it is to die happily ever after.

Good Omens


Dirk Maggs - 1990
    Next Saturday in fact. Just after Any Answers on Radio 4….Events have been set in motion to bring about the End of Days. The armies of Good and Evil are gathering and making their way towards the sleepy English village of Lower Tadfield. The Four Horsepersons of the Apocalypse - War, Famine, Pollution and Death - are assembling. Witchfinder Shadwell and his assistant Newton Pulsifier are also en route to Tadfield to investigate unusual phenomena in the area, while Anathema Device, descendent of prophetess Agnes Nutter, tries to decipher her ancestor’s cryptic predictions.Atlantis is rising; fish are falling from the sky; everything seems to be going to the Divine Plan. Everything, that is, but for an unlikely angel and demon duo, who have been living on Earth for several millennia and have become rather fond of the place. If they are to prevent Armageddon they’ve got to find and kill the one who will bring it about: the Antichrist himself. There’s just one small problem: someone seems to have mislaid him…Adapted, sound designed and co-directed by Dirk Maggs (Neverwhere, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) this first ever dramatisation of Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s novel features a large cast including Peter Serafinowicz, Mark Heap, Josie Lawrence and Paterson Joseph.

Great Apes


Will Self - 1997
    With Great Apes, Self takes readers into a sort of "Planet of the Apes" with a twist. Simon Dykes is a London painter whose life suddenly becomes Kafkaesque. After an evening of routine debauchery, traipsing from toilet to toilet and partaking in a host of narcotics, the middle-aged painter wakes to discover that his girlfriend, Sarah, has turned into a chimpanzee. Simon is also a chimp, but he does not accept this fact—he is convinced that he is still human.He is then confined to an emergency psychiatric ward and placed under the care of alpha-psychiatrist Dr. Zack Busner. Simon finds chimp behavior a bit unnatural; he can't bring himself to use gestures rather than speech to communicate. He also finds it difficult to mate publicly or accept social grooming. Dr. Zack Busner—also a medical doctor, radical psychoanalyst, maverick axiolytic drug researcher, and former television personality—is prepared to help Simon get used to "chimpunity". It is during Simon's gradual simianization that Self's true satirical genius shines, as he examines anthropology, the trendy art world, animal rights, and much more.

You've Done What, My Lord?: Hilarious tales from a country estate


Rory Clark - 2000
    However, when James Aden takes up the position of Deputy Agent he does not realise the full extent of what the job entails.He finds himself spending his days negotiating with royalty, farmers, and even wildlife, as well as the imperious Lady Leghorn. In order to survive, James must come to terms with his role quickly, and not let himself get too distracted by Sophie, the pre-college assistant.

Why Steve Was Late: 101 Exceptional Excuses for Terrible Timekeeping


Dave Skinner - 2009
    Try, "I was overcome by the urge to alphabetize my pets," or perhaps a simple "Had ninja trouble." Steve has used both these excuses, and here they are hilariously illustrated. He also has claimed to have become temporarily feral, accidentally sold himself on eBay, and gotten stuck in a romantic montage. An illustration of Steve with Darth Vader accompanies the inarguable excuse "I was seduced by the Dark Side." He also gets lost in his duvet, and discovers he has a rather unusual superpower.

Doctor Who: Shada


Gareth Roberts - 2012
    But now he needs help from the Doctor, Romana and K-9. When he left Gallifrey he took with him a few little souvenirs—most of them are harmless. But one of them is extremely dangerous.The Worshipful and Ancient Law of Gallifrey isn’t a book for Time Tots. It is one of the Artifacts, dating from the dark days of Rassilon. It must not be allowed to fall into the wrong hands. The sinister Skagra most definitely has the wrong hands. He wants the book. He wants to discover the truth behind Shada. And he wants the Doctor’s mind...Based on the scripts for the original television series by the legendary Douglas Adams, Shada retells an adventure that never made it to the screen.