From Fargo Rock City; Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs; Chuck Klosterman IV; and Eating the Dinosaur, these essays are now available in this ebook collection for fans of Klosterman’s writing on rock music.

    The Only Joke Book You’ll Ever Need   Featuring:      •  Nine Jokes about Heaven and Hell      •  Eight Jokes Just for Kids      •  Nineteen Jokes Definitely Not for Kids      •  Six Jokes about Lightbulbs      •  Seven Jokes about Bars      •  The World’s Only Funny Knock-Knock Joke   Plus alternate versions, roasts and toasts, historical footnotes, tips on telling jokes, and much, much more.

    In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles—such as. "It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at…Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case.Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.Flubbed headlines: "British Left Waffles On House Floor”Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room.Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a "VIP,” be on the lookout for a "Very Intoxicated Patient.”Comedian quips: "I wonder if deaf people have a sign for "Talk to the hand.’” --Zach GalifianakisSputtering sportscasters: "If only faces could talk.” --Pat SummerallAnd much, much more!

    Known for roles on the small screen such as "never-nude" Tobias Funke on "Arrested Development "and the role of "David" in "Mr. Show With Bob And David, "as well as a hugely successful stand-up routine full of sharp-tongued rants and rages, Cross has carved out his place in American comedy. Whether deflating the pomposity of religious figures, calling out the pathetic symbiosis of pseudo-celebrity and its leaching fandom, or merely pushing the buttons of the way-too-easily offended P.C. left or the caustic, double-standard of the callous (but funnier) right, Cross has something to say about everyone, including his own ridiculous self. Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi ("The Belush"), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O'Reilly. And as if this wasn't enough for your laughing pleasure in these troubled times, some of the pieces splinter off with additional material being created online in exclusive video and animated web content created solely for the book-a historical first (presumably)! With a mix of personal essays, satirical fiction posing as truth, advice for rich people, information from America's least favorite Rabbi and a top-ten list of top-ten lists, I DRINK FOR A REASON is as unique as the comedian himself, and cannot be missed.

    We knew this instinctively as kids, but somehow forgot on the way to adulthood. We got busy and overwhelmed, started valuing things that don't matter, and learned to follow the rules that don't even exist:hate mondaysonly celebrate when the calendar gives you permissiondon't make a messdon't play hookyhide your weirdnesshide your wrinklescare what other people thinkFollowing these so-called rules is a terrific way to stress you out, sap your energy, and ensure a boring life. But there's a better way. In his enlightening book, author and artist Jason Kotecki uncovers some of the most useless rules so you can shift perspective and start seeing the world with wonder once again.It's time to stop living by someone else's rules. Your life is a story, and a short one at that. Make it a good one.

    Windows 10 (a free update to users of Windows 8 or Windows 7) fixes a number of the problems introduced by the revolution in Windows 8 and offers plenty of new features, such as the new Spartan web browser, Cortana voice-activated "personal assistant," new universal apps (that run on tablet, phone, and computer), and more. But to really get the most out of the new operating system, you're going to need a guide.Thankfully, Windows 10: The Missing Manual will be there to help. Like its predecessors, this book from the founder of Yahoo Tech, previous New York Times columnist, bestselling author, and Missing Manuals creator David Pogue illuminates its subject with technical insight, plenty of wit, and hardnosed objectivity for beginners, veteran standalone PC users, new tablet owners, and those who know their way around a network.

    He had torn the Treaty of Versailles to shreds. He had rearmed Germany to the teeth— or as close to the teeth as he was able. He had stolen Austria before the eyes of a horrified and apparently impotent world. All these events were shocking to nations which had defeated Germany on the battlefield only 20 years before, but nothing so terrified the world as the ruthless, methodical, Nazi-directed events which during late summer and early autumn threatened a world war over Czechoslovakia. When without loss of blood he reduced Czechoslovakia to a German puppet state, forced a drastic revision of Europe's defensive alliances, and won a free hand for himself in Eastern Europe by getting a "hands-off" promise from powerful Britain (and later France), Adolf Hitler without doubt became 1938's Man of the Year. This story is part of the TIME Person of the Year Collection from Time Inc. This is a reproduction of a story that appeared in the January 2, 1939 issue of TIME magazine. Time Inc. is one of the world’s most influential media companies – home to 90 iconic brands like People, Sports Illustrated, Time, InStyle, Real Simple, Food & Wine, and Fortune. The Spotlight Stories in this collection aim to provide you with a quick read on a single subject, highlighting our readers’ most popular stories and featuring great reporting from our Time Inc. journalists.

    Witty and unexpected, this collection of customer reviews is sure to show you a new, hilarious, and completely candid side of Amazon products and reviews you never knew existed.

    He has two axes to grind. And he does it with the sharpest wit seen in these bipartisan parts for quite some time. Crisscrossing the aisle with wicked glee; no matter which book you finish first, you'll immediately want to run out and get the other one to discover what he said about your side. Just remember to wear a disguise."Will Durst, political satirist and author of The All-American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing"No one knows political satire like Daniel Kurtzman." Andy Borowitz, creator of The Borowitz Report and author of The Republican Playbook"When the folks over at JibJab are looking for a fair and balanced laugh, Daniel Kurtzman's our guy. His How to Win a Fight with a Liberal / Conservative will have you in stitches regardless of your political affiliation!"Gregg Spiridellis, co-founder of JibJab.com

    They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you?While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection.Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around.With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves.Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.

    For years, Paula Woodley has suffered the broken bones and shattered self-esteem caused by an abusive marriage. But what can she do? Her high-profile, Washington power-broker husband is not a man to be crossed. Or so he thinks. The Sisterhood may not be an organization found in any of his memos, but he’s about to take a meeting with them—and they’ll be setting the agenda.… Sweet Revenge Isabelle Flanders’ former colleague, the conniving Rosemary, did everything in her power to ruin Isabelle, from framing her for a terrible drunk driving accident to stealing her husband and her architecture firm. Now, Isabelle’s formerly lovely life is in tatters while Rosemary scoops up the spoils. It’s enough to make any friend’s blood boil. Rosemary may think she’s flying high, but she’s about to tangle with the Sisterhood. Lethal Justice Alexis Thorn, once a successful securities broker, spent a hellish year behind bars for a crime she never committed. Now she has her freedom, but she’s left with haunting memories of being hauled from her office in handcuffs…of the cell door clanging shut behind her…of her pleas going unheard. Alexis dreams of getting even. The legal system failed her, but the Sisterhood won’t.

    This wonderful collection of pieces from her popular column is a wry look at family life and relationships.

    Or at least that's what Crusoe thinks. He's the self-proclaimed "wiener dog who thinks he's more of a celebrity than he really is." (until now!) Crusoe is the star of his wildly popular blog of the same name, winner of the 2013 and 2014 Best Pet Blog Award. That's right... two years in a row! Because Crusoe is a talented and ridiculously photogenic miniature dachshund with a big personality, stunning fashion sense, and an insatiable penchant for whimsy. Perhaps you know him better by his infamous alter ego, BATDOG? We thought so.This is Crusoe's New York Times bestselling book debut, and he's so excited to share it with all of his adoring fans. Now everyone can stare lovingly into his big brown eyes and admire his wit and many costumes any time they choose. Crusoe is certain that his book, featuring hundreds of photos, will make the perfect gift for dog-lovers of all ages. He wants to be accessible to his fans so you can really get to know the mutt behind the mask, the pooch behind that signature sexy pout, the pup with a heart of gold.Don't miss these amazing photos and stories: The adventures of BATDOG and Robin; Cooking with Crusoe; Dr. Crusoe, the dentist, and malpractice; International travels with the worldliest of adventure dogs;Fishing with Crusoe and twin brother Oakley;Dating advice from the studly pup himself;Walking in a winter wienerland;...And many more!

    Life is good until the father who abandoned her as an infant turns up dead in the swamp. Who else can help her but Ida Belle, Gertie and Fortune? And they've got their work cut out for them as they try to solve two mysteries - who Hugo Ancelet really was, and who killed him?

    The author defines all terms, points out potential pitfalls in algebraic calculation, and makes problem solving a fun activity. New in this edition are painless approaches to understanding and graphing linear equations, solving systems of linear inequalities, and graphing quadratic equations. Barron’s popular Painless Series of study guides for middle school and high school students offer a lighthearted, often humorous approach to their subjects, transforming details that might once have seemed boring or difficult into a series of interesting and mentally challenging ideas. Most titles in the series feature many fun-to-solve “Brain Tickler” problems with answers at the end of each chapter.