There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, "I need to poop". "Okay, Rebecca replied, "I like poop". Douglas squatted down over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's boobs, looking like a weiner...."Why are we here?", Douglas cried as poop came out his weiner in a long thin strip, it was weiner-poop, which is the grossest poop of all.The peepee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs.And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt.And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after.

    Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean jokes about dogs and puppies. ** Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE! ** Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with this funny dog joke book. Beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home.Special Note: The illustrations in the book are optimized for a vivid and colorful experience in e-readers, tablets, phones, and computers! Jokes from this funny book... Q: Where do you usually find lost dogs?A: It all depends on where you lose them! HAHA! Q: What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?A: A bud hound! LOL! Q: What do you call a happy Lassie?A: A jolly collie! HAHA! Q: What kind of dog is a human's best friend?A: Palmation! LOL! Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the front yard?A: Put him in the back yard! HAHA! Q: Why did the dog run in circles?A: Because it is not that easy to run in squares! Funny Dog Jokes for Kids! The Funniest Dog Jokes for in the World! (Clean Jokes for Children) 100+ funny dog and puppy jokes Excellent for early and beginning readers Hours of fun and entertainment for your child Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud This funny joke book is full of funny dog and puppy jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about dogs and puppies will have you laughing for hours. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Scroll up and click 'buy' to get your paws on this funny joke book! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny dog jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, dogs, dog book, dog jokes book, ebook, dog books, funny, dog jokes, ebooks, dog jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, puppy books, puppies, cute, illustrations, illustrated, books for kids, childrens book, pupppy, puppy ebook, funny, haha, funny dog jokes, joke book, funny book, joke books, hilarious, lol, funny joke book, book about dogs, kindle book, kindle ebook, jokes online, comedy, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, children, child, kid, kids, kids book, laughter, funniest jokes, laughing, kids comedy

    But when the other schools and town facil-ities ask for recycling barrels too, their businesstakes off. They earn much more than pocket change.And the funny thing is, nobody but the janitors knowthe recycling barrels are owned by the two young en-trepreneurs. The money rolls in…but trouble follows.The principal suspects they’re up to something. Theeighth grade bully tries to capitalize on their new-found wealth. And the competition, the town’s largestrecycling contractor—tries to put them out of business.Their real trouble begins though, when the principal,superintendent of schools, and mayor learn the recyclingbarrels are owned by two middle school students. Theythink they’ve been misled; a suspension hearing ensues.Everything Kirk and Tommy have worked so hard for isin jeopardy. They’re on the brink of loosing it all—but ifthey can survive the ordeal, they just might become…Middle School Millionaires.

    Liberally dabbling in his product, his judgment gets cloudier and he starts snorting heroin and sleeping with his supplier’s girlfriend, a green-eyed beauty named Jane. Jason also meets Melanie, a rebellious one-armed high-school girl who’s youthful abandonment leads her deeper into the nomadic world of the Dead. And as his addiction takes hold, Jason reacquaints himself with an old friend of his late father’s who’s near the end of his days. While he struggles with the ghosts of his own past and his exceedingly tenuous future, Jason has to decide where his heart lies and which road will ultimately take him there.

    Read this tale of survival, hardship, hope, and kindness in unexpected places, as Pamela imagines the journey of Bixby's life before they found each other and he became part of her family. A firm believer of the "Adopt, don't shop" motto, this author shares her experiences and imagines what Bixby experienced before, during, and after being rescued from an animal shelter by telling the story through his point of view. This tale will draw you in, appeal to your emotions, and maybe even make you smile. Sometimes you never know what someone has been through, even a stray dog, but Pamela has imagined it all here. Appropriate for children and adults ages seven to ninety seven and up.

    And he needs Rex's help . . . A madcap robbery, plenty of sheep and a summer of discoveries come together in this hilarious and moving novel, perfect for fans of Frank Cottrell Boyce, Ross Welford and David Walliams. Praise for David O'Doherty's Danger is Everywhere series:'I dislocated my jaw laughing' Eoin Colfer'Imagine the Mighty Boosh crashed into the Wimpy Kid' The Times'Brilliantly funny' Gransnet

    The Christian Science-Monitor praised his "engaging blend of deadpan humor and genuine empathy"; "Thankfully," said The Philadelphia Inquirer, "Kirn never abandons his theme of uncertainty when observing modern angst." Now Walter Kirn has fashioned She Needed Me, a moving, surprising, and darkly comic novel whose sympathetic portrait of a disillusioned generation is mercifully uncynical. Weaver Walquist and Kim Lindgren first meet outside a St. Paul, Minnesota, abortion clinic. Kim - twenty-three, pregnant, with no money to finish junior college - is about to walk inside. Weaver is lying in front of the door. At twenty-six, he is a Bible-carrying member of the Conscience Squad, a fanatical right-wing protest group...yet readers of all minds will be drawn to this gentle, questing soul as he struggles with his feelings for Kim and his subsequent sexual desire for her; his crumbling devotion to the church; and his waning loyalty to his employer, Sanipure, a Christian soap and cosmetics company that calls sales "fellowship moments." But Weaver was not always devout. The only child of a widowed, highly successful Wisconsin liquor store owner, he tried to ward off teenage isolation with a mixture of pot and pills, vodka, sex and heavy metal music, until born-again Christian Lucas Boone found him half dead on the floor of a Greyhound station men's room. As Weaver tries to persuade Kim to have her baby, they embark upon a journey that brings them into contact with a cast of keenly drawn characters: Chuck and Dixie Lindgren, Kim's parents, who made more money in one hot Las Vegas weekend than they ever earned from their North Dakota farm; charismatic, paranoid Lucas Boone, popping anti-depressant pills like candy; Kim's disaffected brother, Ricky, who makes a modest living burglarizing his relatives' homes; and fin

    Yet what begins as a field assignment becomes a journey into Jamie’s own identity.Danny Carter was a schoolboy during the Korean War, growing up with the mystery of his airman brother's disappearance. As Danny comes of age in a rapidly changing United States, he is determined to locate his brother's lost plane in the face of murder, intimidation and loss.Danny and Jamie, coming together from opposite sides of the world, will find that revenge extracts a terrible price, and reveal a shocking truth that will shake the world.

    But Paintbox was taken from her by his spiteful former owners and there was nothing Lucy could do. Despite having Hope, Lucy never got over losing Paintbox. The worst part was, she had no idea what became of him until, one day, a mysterious letter arrives…. www.whitecloudstation.com A White Cloud Station short story.

    Complete with a giant octopus, a hungry shark, and dolphins to the rescue, this Magic Tree House book delivers an underwater adventure kids can dream about. Ghost Town at Sundown Morgan le Fay has promised to make Jack and Annie masters of the tree house if they can solve four riddles. In Ghost Town at Sundown, the Magic Tree House whisks Jack and Annie back to a ghost town in the Wild West of the 1880s. There, they meet a mustang herder named Slim as they search for the answer to the second riddle.

    Full of exciting story shorts and activities – perfect for readers of 7+!MEET AMELIA FANG Everyone's favourite little vampire - and friends! Amelia Fang lives in Nocturnia - a dark and gloomy place full of furry, fanged and frightful creatures . . . and the occasional glittery unicorn!Along with her friends and pet pumpkin, Squashy, Amelia has the most eyeball-spinningly exciting adventures EVER!So come and join Amelia and her friends. They're all dying to meet you . . . Sink your fangs into Amelia’s other howlingly hilarious adventures:Amelia Fang and the Barbaric BallAmelia Fang and the Unicorn LordsAmelia Fang and the Memory ThiefAmelia Fang and the Half-Moon Holiday'The perfect mix of funny, foul and fearful' - Metro'Brilliantly imagined . . . laugh-out-loud funny' - Sunday Express Amelia Fang is perfect for readers of 7+ and fans of Witch Wars, The Worst Witch and Isadora Moon When she's not trying to take over the world or fighting sock-stealing monsters, Laura Ellen Anderson is a professional children's book author & illustrator, with an increasing addiction to coffee. She spends every waking hour creating and drawing, and would quite like to live on the moon when humans finally make it possible. Laura is the creator of EVIL EMPEROR PENGUIN and illustrator of WITCH WARS, as well as many other children’s books. AMELIA FANG is her first series as author-illustrator.

    Oliver is an elegant black tomcat, who is full of himself. As a matter of fact he says: “I love myself!” quite often. Naughty, isn’t he? But his best friend Jumpy, a kangaroo lady, is aware that it is only a front! Oliver has a soft heart and will always want to help others. The great thing is Jumpy’s pouch, which Oliver loves to ride in! He calls her his kangaroo taxi! These little bedtime stories with their lovely illustrations are great for small kids. A parent can read the text and tell the child in his own words. These animal stories have sufficient text to keep early readers happy and provide some educational value. Depending on your device, there is pop-up text (at Amazon) or audio available. Several talented illustrators are essential to bring these children's stories to you in quick succession. Love you all! Meow!

    People are going missing and no one knows how or why. Your will meet some fantastic and hilarious characters on your way to solving the mystery. Includes the bonus story - Going on a Bat Hunt. The Hungry Toilet is a Top 10 Best Selling book with the author being described as the "New Roald Dahl of Rhyming." If your children enjoy Dr Seuss, Roald Dahl and David Walliams they will love this book too! Free to Amazon Prime Members Updated for all devices (Kindle, Paperwhite, Fire, HD, iPad & iPhone)

    

    Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is a 2005 fantasy adventure film, based on J. K. Rowling's novel of the same name. The film is the fourth installment in the Harry Potter film series, although 1492 Pictures decided to leave the series. The film was directed by Mike Newell and produced by David Heyman. The screenplay was penned by Steve Kloves. The film stars Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson as Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger respectively. The film is set during the trio's fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A highly dangerous competition, the Triwizard Tournament, is being held at Hogwarts with only one student from each of the three competing schools selected to take part, but mystery occurs when the Goblet of Fire chooses Harry Potter as a fourth competitor. Filming began in early 2004 and the scenes of Hogwarts took place at the Leavesden Film Studios.