Book picks similar to
The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Book 1) by Steve Lookner
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Gifted
H.A. Swain - 2016
Instead, procedures to induce Acquired Savant Abilities (ASAs) are now purchased by the privileged. And Orpheus's father holds the copyright to the ASA procedure.Zimri Robinson, a natural musical prodigy, is a "plebe"--a worker at the enormous warehouse that supplies an on-line marketplace that has supplanted all commerce. Her grueling schedule and her grandmother's illness can't keep her from making music--even if it is illegal.Orpheus and Zimri are not supposed to meet. He is meant for greatness; she is not. But sometimes, rules are meant to be broken. Here is a thriller, love story, and social experiment that readers will find gripping--and terrifying.
The Bone Witch
Rin Chupeco - 2017
Her gift for necromancy means that she’s a bone witch, a title that makes her feared and ostracized by her community. But Tea finds solace and guidance with an older, wiser bone witch, who takes Tea and her brother to another land for training.In her new home, Tea puts all her energy into becoming an asha—one who can wield elemental magic. But dark forces are approaching quickly, and in the face of danger, Tea will have to overcome her obstacles…and make a powerful choice.
The Bone Witch Trilogy:
The Bone Witch (Book 1)The Heart Forger (Book 2)The Shadowglass (Book 3)
Crewel: Chapters 1-5
Gennifer Albin - 2012
Gifted with the unusual ability to weave time with matter, sixteen-year-old Adelice Lewys is exactly what the Guild is looking for, and in the world of Arras, being chosen as a Spinster is everything a girl could want. It means privilege, eternal beauty, and being something other than a secretary. It also mean the power to embroider the fabric of life. But Adelice isn't interested. Because once you become a Spinster, there's no turning back.
The Dragon's Eye
Kaza Kingsley - 2006
His single mother can barely support her six adopted kids. And they've moved into an apartment so tiny that Erec sleeps with the washing machine. Worse, there is a strange force within Erec that is making him do odd things. His urge to obey these thoughts grows -- until it becomes impossible to resist them.Then one morning, Erec's mother is missing. The force inside Erec commands him to find her, leading him on an adventure that will change him forever. When he arrives in Alypium, a hidden world where old knowledge of magic is kept, Erec learns that his mother and the entire kingdom are in peril. And he might be the only one who can save them.
Such a Pretty Smile
Kristi DeMeester - 2022
Known only as The Cur, he leaves no traces, save for the torn bodies of girls, on the verge of becoming women, who are known as trouble-makers; those who refuse to conform, to know their place. Girls who don’t know when to shut up.2019: Thirteen-year-old Lila Sawyer has secrets she can’t share with anyone. Not the school psychologist she’s seeing. Not her father, who has a new wife, and a new baby. And not her mother—the infamous Caroline Sawyer, a unique artist whose eerie sculptures, made from bent twigs and crimped leaves, have made her a local celebrity. But soon Lila feels haunted from within, terrorized by a delicious evil that shows her how to find her voice—until she is punished for using it.2004: Caroline Sawyer hears dogs everywhere. Snarling, barking, teeth snapping that no one else seems to notice. At first, she blames the phantom sounds on her insomnia and her acute stress in caring for her ailing father. But then the delusions begin to take shape—both in her waking hours, and in the violent, visceral sculptures she creates while in a trance-like state. Her fiancé is convinced she needs help. Her new psychiatrist waves her “problem” away with pills. But Caroline’s past is a dark cellar, filled with repressed memories and a lurking horror that the men around her can’t understand.As past demons become a present threat, both Caroline and Lila must chase the source of this unrelenting, oppressive power to its malignant core. Brilliantly paced, unsettling to the bone, and unapologetically fierce, Such a Pretty Smile is a powerful allegory for what it can mean to be a woman, and an untamed rallying cry for anyone ever told to sit down, shut up, and smile pretty.
Royals of Villain Academy: Books 5 - 8
Eva Chase - 2020
Four impossible loves. Can we conjure a happy ending?I was starting to think I knew what I was dealing with at the university best known as Villain Academy. I’d come to believe that by owning my role as the last remaining Bloodstone, I could change this place for the better. Then a series of shocking revelations turns everything I believed on its head.The other scions have my back now, with all the trouble that's brought them. How much more will they have to sacrifice before we can find some kind of peace? I'm ready to fight for my newfound life, my family, and the guys I'm falling for... but this battle may bring more casualties than I can bear.Do I have the defiance in me to overthrow centuries of magical tyranny? Looks like it’s time to find out.*Royals of Villain Academy is a university-age paranormal academy series. Expect magical villainy, a tough heroine who bends to no one’s will, a dollop of steam, and a slow-burn enemies-to-lovers romance where the men discover the joys of sharing.*Enjoy over 1200 pages of excitement in one box set! This set contains the final four books in the Royals of Villain Academy series—Corrupt Alchemy, Foul Conjuring, Grim Witchery, and Vicious Arts—plus 30+ pages of exclusive bonus scenes.
Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide for Raising Responsible, Productive Adults
Larry Winget - 2009
Straight-talking, bestselling Pitbull of Parenting Larry Winget says "This is not a fix your kid book. It's a fix the way you parent book. You owe it to your kids to parent with a plan!" Being a parent is the toughest job in the world, especially with the increasing number of negative influences and pitfalls facing our kids today, from childhood obesity and out-of-control celebrity culture to the dangers of the internet and credit card debt. Larry Winget has never been one to shy away from tough truths, and what he says here may well be difficult for some parents to swallow: we are in the midst of a crisis with our kids. Kids today are over-indulged, over-entertained, under-achieving, and under-disciplined, with a sense of entitlement that is crippling society. And the real problem is that parents aren't paying attention to what's going on. If they were they would realize that most kids today barely read and write, except with their thumbs on their cell phones! Well-behaved, respectful kids are the exception, not the rule, and for the most part, parents are to blame. Responsible parenting is about beginning with the end in mind and parenting with a plan. But most parents have never stopped to consider what kind of adult they want to raise. They have all this fun creating a baby, but they don't have a plan for the end product. Larry's message to parents: Teach your kids to become the best adults they can be. But don't expect your kids to improve until you improve. "Your Kids Are Your Own Fault" covers familiar lessons and principles that have led Larry's readers to greater success with money, career, and goal setting, this time at a level where they can be taught to children. This book shows parents how to design the adult they want their kid to become and work backwards to make sure it happens. Kids don't come with an instruction manual, but finally being a parent does! Watch a Video
Worthless: The Indispensible Guide to Choosing the Right Major
Aaron Clarey - 2011
While teachers, guidance counselors and even parents are afraid to tell you the truth in an effort to spare your feelings, "Worthless" delivers a blunt and real-world assessment about the economic realities and consequences of choosing various degrees with a necessary and tough fatherly love. Don't lie to yourself. And certainly don't waste four years of your youth and thousands of dollars in tuition on a worthless degree. Buy this book and understand why it is important you choose the right major. The book itself could be the wisest investment you ever make.
Opium and Absinthe
Lydia Kang - 2020
Tillie Pembroke’s sister lies dead, her body drained of blood and with two puncture wounds on her neck. Bram Stoker’s new novel, Dracula, has just been published, and Tillie’s imagination leaps to the impossible: the murderer is a vampire. But it can’t be—can it?A ravenous reader and researcher, Tillie has something of an addiction to truth, and she won’t rest until she unravels the mystery of her sister’s death. Unfortunately, Tillie’s addicted to more than just truth; to ease the pain from a recent injury, she’s taking more and more laudanum…and some in her immediate circle are happy to keep her well supplied.Tillie can’t bring herself to believe vampires exist. But with the hysteria surrounding her sister’s death, the continued vampiric slayings, and the opium swirling through her body, it’s becoming increasingly difficult for a girl who relies on facts and figures to know what’s real—or whether she can trust those closest to her.
Court of Bitter Thorn
Kay L. Moody - 2020
Under the terms of her bargain, she can’t go home to the mortal world until Prince Brannick becomes the next High King.Or until he’s taken out of the running…Sabotaging Brannick’s chance at the crown will be much faster than helping him win. The fae prince may be charming, powerful, and wickedly handsome, but that won’t stop Elora from selling his secrets to the highest bidder.By day, she uses her master sword skills to train the prince, while ignoring her growing attraction to him. By night, she conspires with a rival king in a nearby court whose plans could destroy half of Faerie.If she gets caught, Brannick will kill her. But what’s life without a little bit of danger?
Crown of Coral and Pearl
Mara Rutherford - 2019
But though every girl longs to be chosen as the next princess, the cost of becoming royalty is higher than any of them could ever imagine…Nor once dreamed of seeing the wondrous wealth and beauty of Ilara, the kingdom that’s ruled her village for as long as anyone can remember. But when a childhood accident left her with a permanent scar, it became clear that her identical twin sister, Zadie, would likely be chosen to marry the Crown Prince—while Nor remained behind, unable to ever set foot on land.Then Zadie is gravely injured, and Nor is sent to Ilara in her place. To Nor’s dismay, her future husband, Prince Ceren, is as forbidding and cold as his home—a castle carved into a mountain and devoid of sunlight. And as she grows closer to Ceren’s brother, the charming Prince Talin, Nor uncovers startling truths about a failing royal bloodline, a murdered queen… and a plot to destroy the home she was once so eager to leave.In order to save her people, Nor must learn to negotiate the treacherous protocols of a court where lies reign and obsession rules. But discovering her own formidable strength may be the one move that costs her everything: the crown, Varenia and Zadie.
The PureLights of Ohm Totem
Brandon Ellis - 2013
A strange wolf with a beautiful, violet crystal embedded in his forehead visits her. "Please help us," the wolf implores with sad eyes. "Remember, Zoey, who you truly are." Zoey wakes up, dismissing it as a silly dream. However, she soon realizes that it was far more real than she could've ever imagined. Coda is Zoey's older brother. Like many boys his age, he has a craving for adventure and a loathing for his younger sister. He can't stand it that she constantly gets in his way, joining in on all his fun, and ruining it in the process. The worst, according to Coda, is that Zoey gets all the attention from their parents. A big drag in his mind.Then destiny arrives, one that Zoey and Coda must face together - if they want to survive.Together, they journey to a place deep in the Cornell Forest, beyond the Snow Tree, through a patch of blackberry bushes concealing a secret portal that leads them to an ancient world called Ohm Totem - to the place of the PureLights, the race beckoning for their help. There, Zoey and Coda discover something so unique, so magical, and so sacred within themselves, that even those who called for them could not have known how powerful these two children really are. Caught between an age old war and finding their way back home, Zoey and Coda go on an amazing adventure, taking them beyond the veils of everything they once knew, and into the terrifying grasp of the unknown.With the storytelling creativity of authors like C.S. Lewis of the Chronicles of Narnia and the writing acumen of Erin Hunter of the Warriors and Seekers series, Omon Hart offers a captivating novel showcasing his skill and ingenuity as a storyteller. He's an author to watch.The PureLights of Ohm Totem is Book I of an ongoing series. Book II, The PureLights & the PureLight Order, is soon to arrive on Amazon.
Infernal Devices
K.W. Jeter - 1986
But idle sometime-musician George has little talent for clockwork. And when a shadowy figure tries to steal an old device from the premises, George finds himself embroiled in a mystery of time travel, music and sexual intrigue. A genuine lost classic, a steampunk original whose time has come.
Where the Hell is Tesla?
Rob Dircks - 2015
COMEDY. LOVE STORY. AND OF COURSE... NIKOLA TESLA.I'll let Chip, the main character tell you more: "I found the journal at work. Well, I don't know if you'd call it work, but that's where I found it. It's the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans. One of these plans was for an "Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus" - that allowed someone (in this case me and my friend Pete) to travel to other versions of the infinite possibilities around us. Crazy, right? But that's just where the crazy starts."CHIP'S OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction: the events depicted in the collection of emails did not happen. I have never been in contact with a covert government group attempting to suppress knowledge of the lost journal of Nikola Tesla. I have not been threatened with death if I divulge the secrets contained inside. They did not buy me this handsome jacket (oh crap, you're reading this - trust me, it looks great on me). They did not come to my place, and liquor me up, and offer to publish this book as a sci-fi comedy novel to throw the public off the trail of the real truth.Or did they?I'm kidding. Of course they didn't.Or did they?God, I can't keep my big mouth shut.
The Black Wolves of Boston
Wen Spencer - 2017
Eloise is a Virtue, pledged to hunting evil. What she doesn’t know is how to live alone in a city full of strangers who know nothing about monsters. Seth is the sixteen-year old Prince of Boston, ward of the Wolf King. Now he is left in a city that desperately needs his protection with enemies gathering all around. Joshua believes he is a normal, college-bound high school senior. His life is shattered when he wakes up in a field, covered with blood, and the prom committee scattered in pieces about him like broken dolls. These four must now come together to unravel a plot by Wickers, witches who gain power from human sacrifices and have the power to turn any human into their puppet. Four people who lost everything struggle to save Boston by saving each other.About Wen Spencer's Elfhome series: “Spencer's intertwining of current Earth technology and otherworldly elven magic is quite ingenious.” —Booklist "The melange of science fiction and fantasy tropes, starships rubbing shoulders with proud elf warriors, is uncommon but tasty. Established fans will enjoy this installment, and those unfamiliar with the series or Spencer may find it an intriguing introduction to her work."—Publishers WeeklyAbout Wen Spencer: “Wit and intelligence inform this off-beat, tongue-in-cheek fantasy. . . . Furious action . . . good characterization, playful eroticism and well-developed folklore. . . . lift this well above the fantasy average. . . . Buffy fans should find a lot to like in the book's resourceful heroine.”—Publishers Weekly on series debut Tinker About Wen Spencer's Eight Million Gods:Eight Million Gods is a wonderfully weird romp through Japanese mythology, culture shock, fan culture and the ability to write your own happy ending. It is diverting and entertaining fantasy."—Galveston County Daily News