Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    Ferris knows the value of a day off, and just how to make the best of any situation.His plan is fool proof. He'll pretend he's sick (and the whole city will be sure he's at death's door). He'll get his girlfriend out of school (using the famous "dead relative" excuse). And they'll drive in style to every Chicago hot spot (in his best friend's father's Ferrari, of course). It's not an ordinary day off, it's.......Ferris Bueller's DAY OFF.

    It was the Professor's Wife, always a perceptive hostess, came to her husband's rescue by saying, "Top of the stairs, end of the hall, last door."Oddly enough, it was the start of a puzzling and all but unspeakable misadventure. As it were.

    Boomerang and some of Spidey's deadliest baddies prove that with terrible powers come terrible responsibilities!

    On the verge of becoming a name in the interior design world, he can't afford a scandal and must discreetly dispose of the body—not an easy job when the whole of London seems to be conspiring against him.

    Anderson (THE SAGA OF SEVEN SUNS: VEILED ALLIANCES) comes to the DCU for this epic starring the World's First Super-Team!Set during the Golden Age, STRANGE ADVENTURES begins when fumbling Johnny Thunder decides to become a big-time writer by chronicling the adventures of the JSA. Taken under the writing wing of legendary, real-life science-fiction Grand Master Jack Williamson, Johnny tries his best -- and when a deadly new villain called Lord Dynamo appears on the scene, flying a deadly zeppelin crewed by robot zombies, it's up to Johnny and Jack to help Hawkman, the Flash, Green Lantern, Starman, Dr. Mid-Nite, The Sandman and the rest of the JSA save the day!

    Her mother committed suicide, her husband slept with her best friend, and she can't stand her three selfish daughters. But she does love her son, Sonny, who nevertheless plunges her into deep despair when he takes two women and a poodle hostage in his ex-wife's trailer.

    They've been having some serious problems with the white stuff—not snow, but cocaine—and their highly-paid, isolated, somewhat stir-crazy employees have been overdosing at an alarming rate. Kate's job is to identify the dealer and staunch the flow before more people die. It's never that simple, of course.In Play with Fire, Kate and friends stumble across a naked, decaying corpse in the woods. Judged death by misadventure by the Troopers, Kate's sense of justice demands that she launch her own investigation, leading her to ask some very uncomfortable questions of a frontier faith community. Questions that might drive someone to kill…again.In Blood Will Tell, Kate is forced to involve herself in Native politics, attending the annual Federation convention in Anchorage and investigating the deaths of several board members. Opposition to a new development project seems to have been the link tying the victims together, but when Kate poses the question that all detective work begins with—cui bono?—she finds there are more suspects on the list than not.Also included: the two Kate Shugak short stories, "Wreck Rights" and "Cherchez la Femme."

    R. MartinFitz has succeeded in rescuing Prince Dutiful from the clutches of the Piebald rebels, and has returned with him to Buckkeep castle. With Dutiful safe again, Queen Kettricken can proceed with plans to marry him to the Outislander princess, Elliania.However, with tensions building among the peoples of the Six Duchies over Kettricken’s tolerance of the Wittted, even Buckkeep is no longer safe. A reluctant Fitz is assigned to protect the young prince, and also train him in the Skill, and in doing so he finally makes contact not only with his estranged daughter, Nettle, but with someone in Buckkeep who may possess a greater Skill talent even than Fitz. And who may represent a terrible threat to the Farseers.Continue the adventure with books two and three of Robin Hobb’s enchanting Tawny Man Trilogy.Bundle includes The Golden Fool (book two) and The Fool’s Fate (book three).

    He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.

    They bury their doubts with their dead.The Annals of the Black Company discounted ebundle includes: The Black Company, Shadows Linger, The White Rose, Shadow Games, Dreams of Steel, The Silver Spike, Bleak Seasons, She Is The Darkness, Water Sleeps, Soldiers LiveAt the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

    Laugh at the antics of Riverdale’s teens as they seek the perfect Christmas tree, go on a sleigh ride, help those less fortunate, give one another cherished holiday gifts and more as they enjoy the magic of the season!

    While an ambitious reporter pursues an Exclusive story into the White House on a trail of lies and intrigue.

    Drop him into a ghastly Kenya prep school in the middle of Rider Haggard country. A school where cricketing news comes by carrier pigeon, leopards are assaulted with a red-hot poker, and runaway boys are hunted down with spearmen and a pack of foxhounds... For Martin Riddle, the experience is unforgettable. For the riding mistress, Lady Bullivant, it is all part of the day's work. And for the headmaster, a disreputable ex-Guards officer, it is simply a means of staving off bankruptcy for a few more weeks. As for the Masai, tennis may be on the curriculum at Haggard Hall, but midnight meetings with naked warriors definitely are not! 'The funniest book I have read since David Lodge's Small World' - Sunday Times 'Wickedly funny' - Daily Mail 'Less savage than Evelyn Waugh, Best is every bit as sharp... an immensely enjoyable book' - Evening Standard 'Very good entertainment' - Sir Alec Guinness (Sunday Times book of the year) Nicholas Best's books have been translated into many languages. He was the Financial Times's fiction critic for ten years and was long-listed in 2010 for the Sunday Times-EFG Bank 30,000 award, the biggest short story prize in the world. For more details, see www.nicholasbest.co.uk

    When Robert is killed in a freak accident, Helen begins to rekindle relationships with old friends and close family.