Book picks similar to
Anatomy of a Secret Life: The Psychology of Living a Lie by Gail Saltz
psychology
non-fiction
nonfiction
social-science
Find Out Who's Normal and Who's Not: Proven Techniques to Quickly Uncover Anyone's Degree of Emotional Stability
David J. Lieberman - 2010
In these ever-chaotic times, you need to protect yourself from those who are a few cards short of a full deck. Unstable people are more likely to try take advantage of you, lie, cheat, abuse, or just plain make your life miserable. Find out if anyone from your date, nanny, coworker, neighbor, potential employee, client, or fiancé-is normal, neurotic, or worse! In person, on line, or over the phone, discover near fool-proof tactics that quickly disclose to you, whether someone in your life is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, or worse and your seemingly normal Dr. Jekyll is really a Mr. Hyde.How close to snapping is she? How will he perform in a crisis? Is she a danger to herself or to others? Am I in a relationship with a stable person? Can she handle this news? Is he going to turn violent? Can I trust her with my kids? Will he make an unfit guardian? Is he unstable or just a bit eccentric? Is he joking or he's serious about the idea? What is she capable of? Is my coworker troubled or just plain moody? Is my friend in danger of hurting herself, or others? Is my date stable? How delicate do I need to be in firing this employee?
The Enneagram for Relationships: Transform Your Connections with Friends, Family, Colleagues, and in Love
Ashton Whitmoyer-Ober - 2020
The Enneagram for Relationships takes the straightforward wisdom of the Enneagram and helps you understand it so that you can improve the quality of your human connections.Breaking people down into nine distinct types, the Enneagram is more than a personality test―it is a tool for understanding who you are and, more importantly, why you are who you are. Diving deep into each of the types, this easy-to-understand book provides complete breakdowns of what each one brings to various relationships, how they interact with other people, and what they can do to form healthy and fulfilling partnerships.The Enneagram for Relationships includes:Learn about your type―From the Reformer (Type 1) to the Peacemaker (Type 9), get a detailed explanation of each personality, what they are like, and how they function within relationships.From personal to professional―Go beyond romance as you learn how you can use the Enneagram to improve friendships, familial bonds, and work partnerships.Be your best self―Discover plenty of practical advice for addressing your own faults and foibles and living up to your potential―even as you learn how to navigate the other personality types at home and in the wild.You can get along better with other people―let the Enneagram show you how.
The Second Shift
Arlie Russell Hochschild - 1989
As the majority of women entered the workforce, sociologist and Berkeley professor Arlie Hochschild was one of the first to talk about what really happens in dual-career households. Many people were amazed to find that women still did the majority of childcare and housework even though they also worked outside the home. Now, in this updated edition with a new introduction from the author, we discover how much things have, or have not, changed for women today.
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters
Priya Parker - 2018
If we can understand what makes these gatherings effective and memorable, then we can reframe and redirect them to benefit everyone, host and guest alike. Parker defines a gathering as three or more people who come together for a specific purpose. When we understand why we gather, she says -- to acknowledge, to learn, to challenge, to change -- we learn how to organize gatherings that are relevant and memorable: from an effective business meeting to a thought-provoking conference; from a joyful wedding to a unifying family dinner. Drawing on her experience as a strategic facilitator who's worked with such organizations as the World Economic Forum, the Museum of Modern Art, and the retail company Fresh, Parker explains how ordinary people can create remarkable occasions, large and small. In dozens of fascinating examples, she breaks down the alchemy of these experiences to show what goes into the good ones and demonstrates how we can learn to incorporate those elements into all of our gatherings. The result is a book that's both journey and guide, full of big ideas with real-world applications that will change the way you look at a business meeting, a parent-teacher conference, and a backyard barbecue.
Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World
Rosalind Wiseman - 2013
It’s a place where asking for help or showing emotional pain often feels impossible. Where sports and video games can mean everything, but working hard in school frequently earns ridicule from “the guys” even as they ask to copy assignments. Where “masterminds” dominate and friends ruthlessly insult each other but can never object when someone steps over the line. Where hiding problems from adults is the ironclad rule because their involvement only makes situations worse. Boy world is governed by social hierarchies and a powerful set of unwritten rules that have huge implications for your boy’s relationships, his interactions with you, and the man he’ll become. If you want what’s best for him, you need to know what these rules are and how to work with them effectively. What you’ll find in Masterminds and Wingmen is critically important for every parent – or anyone who cares about boys – to know. Collaborating with a large team of middle- and high-school-age editors, Rosalind Wiseman has created an unprecedented guide to the life your boy is actually experiencing – his on-the-ground reality. Not only does Wiseman challenge you to examine your assumptions, she offers innovative coping strategies aimed at helping your boy develop a positive, authentic, and strong sense of self.
The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do
Judith Rich Harris - 1998
This electrifying book explodes some of our unquestioned beliefs about children and parents and gives us a radically new view of childhood.Harris examines with a fresh eye the lives of real children to show that it is what they experience outside the home, in the company of their peers, that matters most. Parents don't socialize children; children socialize children. With eloquence and humor, Judith Harris explains why parents have little power to determine the sort of people their children will become. The Nurture Assumption brings together insights from psychology, sociology, anthropology, primatology, and evolutionary biology to offer a startling new view of who we are and how we got that way.
Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner
Kate N. Thieda - 2013
If your partner suffers from extreme anxiety, they may have panic attacks, constantly be voicing their worried thoughts, or may not be able to participate in social events because of a fear of social settings. No matter how compassionate you are, you may sometimes feel frustrated, unable to help, and even find your own life restricted—all of which can lead to conflict, resentment, miscommunication, and ultimately, an end to the relationship altogether.Loving Someone with Anxiety is one of the few books written specifically for the partners of people with anxiety disorders. The book is designed not only to aid you in helping your partner cope with anxiety and worry, but also to help you take care of your own needs. Inside, you’ll learn the importance of setting healthy boundaries, limiting codependent behaviors, and why taking over roles that make your partner anxious—such as answering the phone, driving, or doing the grocery shopping because your partner feels too anxious to be in public—can be extremely damaging for the both of you.Codependency in relationships with an anxious partner can lead to resentment, anger, and a sense of helplessness on your side. This book will help you and your partner overcome these negative behaviors, build better communication and a stronger personal connection.Written by a licensed professional counselor who specializes in helping the partners of those with mental illnesses, this book is the resource that you have been looking for to help you understand your anxious partner and keep anxiety from sabotaging your relationship.
Dataclysm: Who We Are (When We Think No One's Looking)
Christian Rudder - 2014
In Dataclysm, Christian Rudder uses it to show us who we truly are. For centuries, we’ve relied on polling or small-scale lab experiments to study human behavior. Today, a new approach is possible. As we live more of our lives online, researchers can finally observe us directly, in vast numbers, and without filters. Data scientists have become the new demographers. In this daring and original book, Rudder explains how Facebook "likes" can predict, with surprising accuracy, a person’s sexual orientation and even intelligence; how attractive women receive exponentially more interview requests; and why you must have haters to be hot. He charts the rise and fall of America’s most reviled word through Google Search and examines the new dynamics of collaborative rage on Twitter. He shows how people express themselves, both privately and publicly. What is the least Asian thing you can say? Do people bathe more in Vermont or New Jersey? What do black women think about Simon & Garfunkel? (Hint: they don’t think about Simon & Garfunkel.) Rudder also traces human migration over time, showing how groups of people move from certain small towns to the same big cities across the globe. And he grapples with the challenge of maintaining privacy in a world where these explorations are possible. Visually arresting and full of wit and insight, Dataclysm is a new way of seeing ourselves—a brilliant alchemy, in which math is made human and numbers become the narrative of our time.
Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries
Guy Winch - 2013
But, as Guy Winch, Ph.D., points out, these kinds of emotional injuries often get worse when left untreated and can significantly impact our quality of life. In this fascinating and highly practical book he provides the emotional first aid treatments we have been lacking. Explaining the long-term fallout that can result from seemingly minor emotional and psychological injuries, Dr. Winch offers concrete, easy-to-use exercises backed up by hard cutting-edge science to aid in recovery. He uses relatable anecdotes about real patients he has treated over the years and often gives us a much needed dose of humor as well. Prescriptive, programmatic, and unique, this first-aid kit for battered emotions will appeal to readers of Unstuck by James S. Gordon and Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff.
Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World – and Why Things Are Better Than You Think
Hans Rosling - 2018
So wrong that a chimpanzee choosing answers at random will consistently outguess teachers, journalists, Nobel laureates, and investment bankers.In Factfulness, Professor of International Health and global TED phenomenon Hans Rosling, together with his two long-time collaborators, Anna and Ola, offers a radical new explanation of why this happens. They reveal the ten instincts that distort our perspective—from our tendency to divide the world into two camps (usually some version of us and them) to the way we consume media (where fear rules) to how we perceive progress (believing that most things are getting worse).Our problem is that we don’t know what we don’t know, and even our guesses are informed by unconscious and predictable biases.It turns out that the world, for all its imperfections, is in a much better state than we might think. That doesn’t mean there aren’t real concerns. But when we worry about everything all the time instead of embracing a worldview based on facts, we can lose our ability to focus on the things that threaten us most.Inspiring and revelatory, filled with lively anecdotes and moving stories, Factfulness is an urgent and essential book that will change the way you see the world and empower you to respond to the crises and opportunities of the future.
Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community
Robert D. Putnam - 2000
This seemingly small phenomenon symbolizes a significant social change that Robert Putnam has identified in this brilliant volume, which The Economist hailed as "a prodigious achievement."Drawing on vast new data that reveal Americans' changing behavior, Putnam shows how we have become increasingly disconnected from one another and how social structures--whether they be PTA, church, or political parties--have disintegrated. Until the publication of this groundbreaking work, no one had so deftly diagnosed the harm that these broken bonds have wreaked on our physical and civic health, nor had anyone exalted their fundamental power in creating a society that is happy, healthy, and safe.Like defining works from the past, such as The Lonely Crowd and The Affluent Society, and like the works of C. Wright Mills and Betty Friedan, Putnam's Bowling Alone has identified a central crisis at the heart of our society and suggests what we can do.
Swearing Is Good for You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language
Emma Byrne - 2017
She explores every angle of swearing—why we do it, how we do it, and what it tells us about ourselves. Packed with the results of unlikely and often hilarious scientific studies—from the “ice-bucket test” for coping with pain, to the connection between Tourette’s and swearing, to a chimpanzee that curses at her handler in sign language—Swearing Is Good for You presents a lighthearted but convincing case for the foulmouthed.
Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World
David Epstein - 2019
Plenty of experts argue that anyone who wants to develop a skill, play an instrument, or lead their field should start early, focus intensely, and rack up as many hours of deliberate practice as possible. If you dabble or delay, you'll never catch up to the people who got a head start. But a closer look at research on the world's top performers, from professional athletes to Nobel laureates, shows that early specialization is the exception, not the rule.David Epstein examined the world's most successful athletes, artists, musicians, inventors, forecasters and scientists. He discovered that in most fields--especially those that are complex and unpredictable--generalists, not specialists, are primed to excel. Generalists often find their path late, and they juggle many interests rather than focusing on one. They're also more creative, more agile, and able to make connections their more specialized peers can't see.Provocative, rigorous, and engrossing, Range makes a compelling case for actively cultivating inefficiency. Failing a test is the best way to learn. Frequent quitters end up with the most fulfilling careers. The most impactful inventors cross domains rather than deepening their knowledge in a single area. As experts silo themselves further while computers master more of the skills once reserved for highly focused humans, people who think broadly and embrace diverse experiences and perspectives will increasingly thrive.
The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature
Steven Pinker - 2002
He shows how many intellectuals have denied the existence of human nature by embracing three linked dogmas: the Blank Slate (the mind has no innate traits), the Noble Savage (people are born good and corrupted by society), and the Ghost in the Machine (each of us has a soul that makes choices free from biology). Each dogma carries a moral burden, so their defenders have engaged in desperate tactics to discredit the scientists who are now challenging them.Pinker injects calm and rationality into these debates by showing that equality, progress, responsibility, and purpose have nothing to fear from discoveries about a rich human nature. He disarms even the most menacing threats with clear thinking, common sense, and pertinent facts from science and history.Despite its popularity among intellectuals during much of the twentieth century, he argues, the doctrine of the Blank Slate may have done more harm than good. It denies our common humanity and our individual preferences, replaces hardheaded analyses of social problems with feel-good slogans, and distorts our understanding of government, violence, parenting, and the arts.Pinker shows that an acknowledgement of human nature that is grounded in science and common sense, far from being dangerous, can complement insights about the human condition made by millennia of artists and philosophers. All this is done in the style that earned his previous books many prizes and worldwide acclaim: wit, lucidity, and insight into matters great and small.
Stand Up Straight: 10 Life Lessons from the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst
Paul Nanson - 2019
THE INCREDIBLE TOP TEN SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'Inspirational . . . Sandhurst helped me to discover my potential. Now discover yours.' TIM PEAKE, ESA astronaut___________Winston Churchill never surrendered.Prince Harry has fought for mental health around the world.Tobias Ellwood risked his life to save others during the Westminster terrorist attack.Tim Peake became Britain's first astronaut on the International Space Station.Nicola Wetherill led the first all-female expedition across the Antarctic ice.Ed Withey even organized his wedding with military precision.The one thing all of these individuals have in common? Their world-class Sandhurst training.Stand Up Straight applies 10 simple but transformative lessons that every officer is taught during their time at the world-famous military academy. Modern and counter-intuitive, with lessons ranging from making your bed and ironing your shirt to achieving better discipline, emotional intelligence, resilience and fast decision-making under pressure, the book draws on first-hand battlefield experience as well as the leadership lessons taught at Sandhurst.The result is an inspiring and timeless book of practical advice and military wisdom that will help every reader raise their game and face life's everyday battles with confidence and calm.___________'Brilliant, practical advice. Can help transform your mindset and life.' OLLIE OLLERTON''Military Mindfulness' . . . can help us all reach our potential.' TELEGRAPH'I loved this book.' CHRIS EVANS'Brilliant
military rules that can change your life
. . . Sandhurst's precious life lessons, self-discipline, teamwork, even standing up straight, can make life run smoother, better, nobler, longer.' DAILY MAIL'Follow the General's orders and fold your socks. You'll be a better person for it.' THE TIMES'These military men are on to something. . . . increases your chances of tackling the to-do list with a sense of calm if not ease.' INDEPENDENT'It's a fantastic read on how to sort yourself out.' PIERS MORGAN'It's a fascinating book, full of good old-fashioned common sense . . . it's a game-raiser.' THIS ENGLAND