But where once we settled down to admire the 'top-quality original songwriting' that the contest was inaugurated to showcase, throughout the long post-ABBA decades Eurovision has come to entertain us for all the wrong reasons: we chortle at its magnificent foolishness, its stubborn reinforcement of the crudest national stereotypes, at a scoreboard shamelessly corrupted by cross-border friendship and hatred. And as post-modern connoisseurs of showbiz meltdown, our focus has shifted from the blandly competent winners to the spangled, hapless, table-propping losers, those left to wander the lonely, windswept summit of Mount Fiasco. The gold standard of farcical failure, the benchmark of badness, to score nul points is to suffer international ignominy and find sympathetic understanding replaced by brutal guffaws. Remorseful of his own longstanding contributions to the latter chorus, yet darkly fascinated with those lives shadowed by the entertainment world's most grandiose humiliation, Tim Moore sets off to track down the thirteen Eurominstrels who have come and gone without troubling the scorers since Norway's Jahn Teigen twanged his silver braces and leapt splay-legged off the Palais des Congres stage in 1978. From Lisbon to Lithuania, from the Black Sea to the Baltic, Moore travels the continent to hear their extraordinary stories - 'poignant, ludicrous and heartwarming in almost equal measure' - recounting as he does so the no less improbable history of Eurovision itself, a towering cathedral of cheese that can nonetheless claim responsibility for keeping Norway out of the EU and catalysing the overthrow of a Portuguese dictatorship.

    Sometimes it's made when a chauffeur takes a wrong turn, a scientist forgets to clean up his lab, or a drunken soldier gets a bit rowdy. That's the kind of history you'll find in The Greatest Stories Never Told.This is history candy -- the good stuff. Here are 100 tales to astonish, bewilder, and stupefy: more than two thousand years of history filled with courage, cowardice, hope, triumph, sex, intrigue, folly, humor, and ambition. It's a historical delight and a visual feast with hundreds of photographs, drawings, and maps that bring each story to life. A new discovery waits on every page: stories that changed the course of history and stories that affected what you had for breakfast this morning.Consider:The Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock because they ran out of beerSome Roman officials were so corrupt that they actually stole time itselfThree cigars changed the course of the Civil WarThe Scottish kilt was invented by an EnglishmanBased on the popular Timelab 2000® history minutes hosted by Sam Waterston on The History Channel®, this collection of fascinating historical tidbits will have you shaking your head in wonder and disbelief. But they're all true. And you'll soon find yourself telling them to your friends.

    Told through an examination of animal and plant life today - with occasional juxtapositions of extinct fossil forms to reveal the origin of living creatures - "Life on Earth" is an astonishing pageant of life, with a cast of characters drawn from the whole range of living animals the world over. Attenborough's perceptive, dynamic approach to the evolution of some four million species of living organisms that populate the planet is to trace the most significant thread in the history of each major group. He then proceeds to explain from the evidence of living representatives and fossil remains why certain animals adapted and survived, evolved to more complex and "higher" forms of life, while others, by some inherent limitation imposed by their physiology or structure, failed and became extinct. "Life on Earth" is a book of wonders. A model of clarity and ease as a guide, Attenborough takes the reader around the world with him into jungles where orchids have petals that "impersonate" wasps to attract pollinating insects; to Australia, where honeypot ants force feed nectar to workers of a special caste, then hang them up by their forelegs like living storage jars; to remote mountains in Japan where little monkeys called macaques have learned to combat the winter snows by bathing in hot volcanic springs.

    As pioneers, inventors, and dreamers have always known, you can do anything if only you persevere. Ever since we hauled ourselves out of the swamp, our history has been one of extraordinary cultural and technological progress, of mind-boggling discoveries and remarkable achievements, often against the odds. It's no coincidence that you see no statues of pessimists in city squares.Still, cynical and doubting voices are heard all too loudly and frequently in public discourse. A potent antidote to their gloom and doom, "The Optimist's Handbook" is a joyful explosion of wit and wisdom from our past and present that celebrates the art of greeting life with the excitement it deserves. This handbook will inspire, enchant, and entertain you as you go forward into all your wonderful tomorrows. Even if, after reading it, you are not moved to feats of glory for the greater good, the fact is that optimists are healthier, happier, and richer than their gloomy counterparts. Hear that, killjoys?"The world is a grindstone and life is your nose."Fred Allen, 1894-1956, American humoristWhy beat around the bush? The truth is that life is a never-ending cycle of toil and pain with nothing but death to reward all our suffering. Furthermore, what solace is there in blind optimism or fanciful daydreaming when it is perfectly clear that the world is heading toward a complete meltdown whether we live in it or not? Resigning yourself to life's grim treadmill, and thereby avoiding more disappointments, is the best way to trudge forward."The Pessimist's Handbook" is an indispensable companion on your journey through this vale of tears. A clear-sighted, realistic look at life's obstacles, this guidebook is stocked with the pearls of wisdom you need to counter the irritating voices of those who trumpet futile positivity and inane confidence in a brighter future. Feel reassured that scores of people share your sense of impending doom...and have done so for centuries. After all, misery loves company, but not when it's a horde of perky utopians.

    Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked.

    In Elephants on Acid, Boese details the results of this scientific trial, as well as answers to the questions: Why can't people tickle themselves? Would the average dog summon help in an emergency? Will babies instinctually pick a well-balanced diet? Is it possible to restore life to the dead? Read on to find out...

    Duff bares the creaky, embarrassing parts of our high school cafeteria-scarred souls for us, leaving us no choice but to laugh at our failures, no matter how spectacular, and rejoice in our successes, no matter how itty-bitty. She shows women that each one of us is a wonder in our own way, with the ability — whether we know it or not — to make the best of life’s often absurd situations. Reading If You Did What I Asked In the First Place is like sitting down with a good friend who helps you make it through the day. Pour yourself a glass of whatever makes you feel better and take off any constricting undergarments: Let loose with the knowledge that you are not alone. You have Lori at your side.

    Wolke, professor emeritus of chemistry at the University of Pittsburgh and acclaimed author of What Einstein Didn't Know, understands the need to...well, understand. Now he provides more amusing explanations of such everyday phenomena as gravity (If you're in a falling elevator, will jumping at the last instant save your life?) and acoustics (Why does a whip make such a loud cracking noise?), along with amazing facts, belly-up-to-the-bar bets, and mind-blowing reality bites all with his trademark wit and wisdom.If you shoot a bullet into the air, can it kill somebody when it comes down? You can find out about all this and more in an astonishing compendium of the proverbial mind-boggling mysteries of the physical world we inhabit.Arranged in a question-and-answer format and grouped by subject for browsing ease, WHAT EINSTEIN TOLD HIS BARBER is for anyone who ever pondered such things as why colors fade in sunlight, what happens to the rubber from worn-out tires, what makes red-hot objects glow red, and other scientific curiosities. Perfect for fans of Newton's Apple, Jeopardy!, and The Discovery Channel, WHAT EINSTEIN TOLD HIS BARBER also includes a glossary of important scientific buzz words and a comprehensive index. -->

    and everything else you forgot from your school history lessons.

    Which is the most romantic spot to say 'je't'aime'? And the sexiest?Where to see fantastic art, away from all the crowds?Why Parisian men feel compelled to pee in the street?How to choose a hotel room where you might actually get a good night's sleep?Stephen Clarke goes behind the scenes to reveal everything Parisians know about their city - but don't want to tell you.

    This is a wonderful collection of all things that make being young, or young at heart, fun. Audio includes: Questions About the World, How to Play Stickball, The Rules of Soccer, Fishing, Famous Battles, Extraordinary Stories, Girls, First Aid, The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, Seven Modern Wonders of the World The perfect book for every boy from eight to eighty.

    . . Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing 
essays reveal the chilling and very real experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could—or very nearly already did—bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about it—until now: •   Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first. •   Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space!•   Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.”

    And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin and whether sinning could--or should--be recast in a different light. Seven Deadly Sins is Taylor's personal story, but it's also a larger discussion of what it means to be seen as either a "good" person or a "bad" one. Yes, Corey Taylor has broken the law and hurt people, but, if sin is what makes us human, how wrong can it be?

    Pretending to work? That’s fudgelling, which may lead to rizzling if you feel sleepy after lunch, though by dinner time you will have become a sparkling deipnosophist.From Mark Forsyth, author of the bestselling The Etymologicon, this is a book of weird words for familiar situations. From ante-jentacular to snudge by way of quafftide and wamblecropt, at last you can say, with utter accuracy, exactly what you mean.

    BIZARRE STUFF, AMAZING FACTS, ASTONISHING MYSTERIES, NATURAL WONDERS, LITTLE-KNOWN PEOPLE, USEFUL TIPS AND MUCH, MUCH MOREFrom crime, movies and music to science, history and literature, this book offers an incredible array of intriguing top-10 lists, including:•Urban Legends—Debunked•Influential People Who Never Lived•Ancient Methods of Execution•Poisonous Foods We Love to Eat•Inventions of the Middle Ages•Gruesome Fairytale Origins•Secret Societies•Amazing Film Swordfights•Bizarre Animal Mating Rituals•Misconceptions About Evolution•Tips for Frugal Living•Fascinating Graveyards You Must See