Scouts Out: Books One and Two


Danny Loomis - 2016
    He and his team battle to drive the enemy from star systems under protection of the Confederation. His courage and fighting abilities are tested to their utmost, as he rises through the ranks of the LRS and beyond. Small unit skirmishes build to full-scale combat on planet surfaces, and serve as a counterpoint to violent conflict in space.

Hometown Weekly


Bruce Lindsay - 2008
    After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

The Pornographer Diaries


Danny King - 2004
    He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.

The Jeeves Omnibus


P.G. Wodehouse
    My Man Jeeves 1919Right Ho, Jeeves 1922Death At The Excelsior, Others 1914

The Monkey's Penis (Shingles Book 3)


Steve Wetherell - 2018
    Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

Why Me? The Very Important Emails of Bob Servant


Neil Forsyth - 2011
    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

Critical Failures IX (Caverns and Creatures Book 9)


Robert Bevan - 2021
    

Trinity


Nigel May - 2013
    Determined to prove herself to her family, she’ll stop at nothing to get what she wants. But when her bitchy tongue gains her death threats and the unwanted attention of a stalker, it could be Anoushka who is making the headlines. For actress Evie Merchant, her childhood dreams of becoming the world’s hottest movie star are just about to come true. But a string of hurtful liaisons with lovers out to use her fame, has made Evie uncertain about her future. And with Oscar day looming, Evie’s biggest prize of all could be cruelly snatched from her. A loveless upbringing has made wild child Regan Phoenix search for quick-fix highs from drink, drugs and meaningless sex. But when the opportunity of starring in her own reality show comes along, Regan grabs it with both hands, hoping to put her trashy past behind her. From fashionable London to stunning Venice and glitzy LA, Trinity takes you into a glamorous and thrilling world you won’t want to leave.

Cremains


Rob Johnson - 2019
    Seeing an elderly woman crushed to death under a baby grand piano is not the best start to anyone’s day, and Max Dempsey’s is about to get a whole lot worse.When sacked bank manager turned bank robber Max Dempsey (aka Simon Golightly) finds himself deep in debt to dodgy undertaker Danny Bishop, he’s prepared to do almost anything to pay it off and keep all of his fingers.But he’s likely to lose a lot more than his fingers when he agrees to do a “little job” for Danny and unintentionally crosses psychopathic Greek gangster, Nikos Spiropoulos.Meanwhile, Bernard Pemberton and his granddaughter Tess are on a road trip to scatter their beloved Dottie’s ashes on a Scottish hilltop, but is it really her ashes in the cremation urn or something else altogether?Cremains is a crime caper that twists and turns its way towards a conclusion that even Max himself couldn’t have predicted.

No Dog Left Behind


Elliott Garber - 2013
    Army veterinarian Elliott Garber comes a thrilling short story that illustrates the unique role of canine warriors as they work side by side with elite Special Operations troops to keep us safe.This compelling tale of a military dog and his veterinarian is the perfect length for a lunchtime read or literary nightcap and will leave you begging for more.

A Million Little Lies


James Pinocchio - 2006
    While there, Mr. Pinocchio meets all sorts of Fascinating Characters, one more Unbelievable and Amazing than the next, and they challenge him to confront his Deepest, Darkest Fears. The experience leads Mr. Pinocchio to the very edges of despair, but at a critical juncture he finds hope in the arms of a Bad Woman.The love affair ends tragically, alas, and, like many parts of Mr. Pinocchio's story, stretches credibility to the breaking point, but the harrowing adventure -- which involves a great deal of pain, a smattering of dirty sex, and endless amounts of girlish crying -- eventually leads to Redemption and Healing. But not for Mr. Pinocchio

Comedy of Marriage and Other Tales


Guy de Maupassant - 2004
    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

Bloody Iced Bullet


Andrew McGregor - 2014
     Leutnant Hausser, a young experienced infantry officer with the 76th Infantry Division is assigned with a handful of men to the south of Stalingrad. As the fighting heightens in the city, the officer and his men are sent to bolster the defences of their allies, the Romanians. The front is relatively quiet, most believe the Russian Army is finished. The end of the bitter war in the east may only be days away. Thinking of loved ones and home, they await the conclusion of the battle, comforted by promises that the victorious outcome will decide the war…that it will soon be all over. It may only be a matter of time before they see their families again. Daily life has become more relaxed, in warm bunkers and well dug defences, they write letters and socialise with their allies. It may soon be time to go home. As the German Sixth Army discovers just how vicious the fighting in Stalingrad can become, they take troops from their flanks in final attempts to take the city before the onset of 'another bitter Russian winter.' One last push will finish the Russians once and for all. The German Air Force, the Luftwaffe, has virtually driven the Red Air Force from the skies. The Russian high command, STAVKA, are secretly planning to turn the tide of the war in the southern sector of the front as they see the weaker German allies occupy defensive positions either side of the city that holds Stalin's name. As the Russian offensive engulfs the flanks around Stalingrad, the young officer and his men desperately begin a battle for survival against bitter temperatures and time, oblivious to what the overall picture may be…and what their future holds. Not everything is as it seems in the deepest cold of winter as a small group of men combat nature and a vicious and cunning enemy motivated by revenge to survive and escape. With temperatures dropping to minus 25 to 35 degrees Celsius and a vicious struggle for survival against both nature and the cruelties of war, the portrayal of individual human reaction to fate and historical events is a gripping insight into the soldier on the frontline, thousands of miles from the decisions that will forge their individual destinies. Having spent thirty years studying World War 2 and in particular, the Russian Front, these offerings are based on historical fact. The characters are fictitious, attempting to portray a realistic account of what the battle would have been like for individual soldiers. All units and actions are in accordance with actual events, including propaganda, deployment and individual division engagements. Bloody Iced Bullet is available as an E-Book on Kindle, paperback in US book stores and via mail order across the world. The author aims to provide a thoroughly enjoyable and imaginative reading experience at an affordable price for the reader. All three works from the author's World War 2 Series concentrating on Stalingrad have achieved Best Seller status on Amazon in the UK and many more stories are outlined. Imagination is personal, free and to be cherished.

A Very Funny Murder Mystery


Paul Mathews - 2018
    And when Lady Peculiar’s butler – a part-time comedian – is found drowned in his own mango chutney, Detective Inspector Clinton Trump comes blundering onto the scene – ready to shun logic, breach protocol and trust in his own gut instincts. What will South East England’s greatest detective uncover? Is her ladyship a murderess? Was the killer a comedy rival? Or are darker forces at work in this particular corner of Brokenshire? Join our self-proclaimed British detective genius, as he races against time to solve this very funny murder mystery – so he can play golf at the weekend! The first novel in the ‘Clinton Trump Detective Genius’ series This riotous English detective spoof is murderously good fun from first page to last, as Inspector Trump and his unwanted sidekick, Constable Dinkel, encounter a procession of crazy comedy characters in the Great British countryside. Stuffed solid with British humour (or ‘humor’, if you’re one of the many American tourists who visit Upper Goosing), its mix of black comedy, British farce, funny one-liners and downright silliness is guaranteed to generate tremendous titters across the very civilised world.More amateur sleuth than professional investigator, Clinton Trump will bring a smile to your face like no other Trump has before, or probably ever will. So, jump aboard the Trump detection train, blow your Clinton trumpet and join the movement – Make Murder-Mystery Great Again! A Word from Detective Inspector Clinton Trump: “Greetings from Upper Goosing – the murder capital of Europe. You’ll find the scenery, tea rooms and cake shops are well worth the risk of a premature, grisly death. But before purchasing this novel, please note that it only employs British English, as spoken by Her Majesty the Queen. I don’t want anyone griping about me saying ‘per cent’ instead of ‘percent’, ‘metre’ instead of ‘meter’ or ‘tea’ instead of ‘coffee’. If you must grumble, please do as the English do and complain only to yourself. And if you’re planning on enjoying a cup of Earl Grey with this quality e-book, please remember: it’s tea first, milk second. Finally, don’t be afraid to laugh thunderously when reading this novel. Just don’t laugh yourself to death – we have enough fatalities around here as it is. Thank you.”

Whirlaway


Poe Ballantine - 2018
    On the run, he holes up in a sheltered barrio on a bluff above the Pacific Ocean owned by his wealthy but unsympathetic father. Here he meets Sweets, the telepathic dog, laments the loss of Sofia, his madhouse lover, and plays the horses at the Del Mar Racetrack. Eventually he meets up with an old friend, Shelly Hubbard, a fellow horseplayer, record collector/dealer, and hardcore loner, who tells him about his brother, Donny, dead at the age of eighteen from a tragic dive off a thirty-foot La Jolla sea cliff known as the Clam. Eddie discovers a family secret and wants to help, but by then he's already embroiled in the psychotic incident with the Tijuana prostitutes, the madhouse lover, and the police, who are hot on his tail. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has nothing on Whirlaway, a hilarious novel of escaped mental patients, horseplayers, and record collectors.