Foxworthy's runaway bestseller, with more than one million copies in print.

    After all, lovers come and go, but our girlfriends sustain, nurture, and protect us from cradle to grave. Friends on a Rotten Day explores the supportive, uproarious, and sometimes complex, relationships between girlfriends through an indepth astrological analysis of each Sun sign. DixonCooper shows readers what makes their friend tick on a soul level, revealing each friend's inner character, friendship style, love style (including what to do or not do if a pal picks a loser), and party style. She offers suggestions on the best gifts to buy your friend, how to calm her down, cheer her up, and return the unconditional support and love that she gives you. Readers will discover why their Gemini buddy changes her mind so often, why the Virgo gal pal sweats the small stuff, why a Scorpio girlfriend sometimes seems distant, and why the Leo chum needs frequent headpats. They'll also learn why a Pisces pal should never be forced to make a snap decision, why a Capricorn girlfriend might seem too serious for her own good, the truth about a Taurus friend's hidden anxieties, the competitive side of an Aries chum, what causes Cancer pal's emotional train wrecks, why the Aquarius buddy has a rebellious side, and why the Sagittarius girlfriend has occasional angry outbursts. "Dixon-Cooper reveals what every astrologer knows but none has dared say. (She) takes us on a seriously humorous ride through the land of truth and consequences. I highly recommend it." (Suzanne White)

    My withdrawal/delirium tremens (DTs) were terrifying and excruciating.My story takes the reader through my experiences of late stage alcoholism, two arrests by my new husband of three months and my subsequent adventures through and between five inpatient treatment centers for alcohol abuse.

    Over the course of twenty years, millions of people have learned this lesson while being entertained and enlightened by Loretta LaRoche in one of her enormously popular series of lectures given in public seminars; in corporate environments for clients like IBM, Reebok, Fidel-ity Investments, and Blue Cross, Blue Shield; and most recently in nationwide broadcasts on public television. Now she puts her sensible, sensational philosophy on paper--and gives readers the tools they need to laugh themselves to less stress and better health."One night I greeted Bob at the door wearing nothing but his wing-tipped shoes. I was laughing hysterically about how I looked. Bob didn't crack a smile. Instead, he bellowed, 'What are the neighbors going to think?'" 'I don't know,' I replied, 'I haven't shown them yet.' "Loretta LaRoche has been called "the Erma Bombeck of stress reduction"--and in the helpful and hilarious pages of this book, her enormous talent for finding the funny detail to defuse even the most difficult situation has never been sharper."Buy something silly and wear it. A Groucho Marx nose, mustache, and glasses are my favorite. When the stress seems unbearable, when you've really reached the limits of your endurance, go into a bathroom, look into the mirror, put on your glasses, and ask yourself, 'How serious is this?' "        Relax--You May Only Have a Few Minutes Left is filled with practical exercises, hilarious anecdotes, and specific advice for coming to terms with today's ever-increasing stress levels--it is a remedy for anxiety and a prescription for laughter."Most of us don't realize what an impact we have on the world around us. A positive energy field is going to affect others in a beneficial way, even if you don't notice it at first. Why not ask for a standing ovation once in a while? When you go in to work, say, 'I came in--it wasn't easy. I could have gone somewhere else. I'd like a standing ovation.' "In sections like "If You Don't Have to Suffer--Don't Practice," "My Mother the CEO," and "I'm Not Afraid of Heights, Just Widths," LaRoche dismantles our American predilection for taking ourselves too seriously and shows us how to live longer, happier lives using the healing power of the absurd.

    Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.

    Get paid to travel and write about it.Only no one told Jules that it would mean eating oily seabirds, repeatedly falling off a husky sled, getting stranded on a Mediterranean island, and crash-landing in Iran.The exotic destinations come thick and fast – Hong Kong, Hawaii, Huddersfield – as Jules navigates what it means to be a travel writer in a world with endless surprises up its sleeve.Add in a cast of larger-than-life characters – Elvis, Captain Cook, his own travel-mad Dad – and an eye for the ridiculous, and this journey with Jules is one you won’t want to miss.

    What time is the 3:00 parade? Why does a child need to be 40 inches tall to ride a roller coaster? What happens when the president of France gets lost inside Pirates of the Caribbean? A former employee, or "cast member", at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom answers these and other questions while sharing humorous stories about working inside the world's most popular theme park."Stories from a Theme Park Insider" takes you inside the park's famous tunnels and backstage for a look at how theme parks really work, and the funny moments and embarrassments that can happen when your work is someone else's vacation.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

    An advocate of reason and common sense, the author debunks traditional believer apologetics and challenges theist platitudes, while providing food for thought and debate fodder for the neophyte to intermediate atheist. With more than one hundred no-holds-barred, plain-speaking rants and essays on a variety of religious subjects, The Atheist Camel Chronicles is the go-to book to find a burr to place under the saddle of the holier than thou, or to glean retorts to the banal "Truths" that religionists use to bolster their faith in the face of the Scientific Age and 21st century reality. Sometimes funny, always hard hitting and thought provoking, this book belongs in the library of every atheist, agnostic and skeptic who engages in debate and discourse with the religiously afflicted.

    Through his unconventional wisdom and singular storytelling, Simon Doonan is the ideal instructor to help readers find – and then flaunt – their own creative style and vision. With provocative wit, he walks us through every aspect of our lives: fashion, socializing, love, work, decor, and family, sharing case studies, quotations by cultural icons and practical tips.Illustrated with amusing vintage and contemporary photographs, some lifted from the Doonan family album, How to Be Yourself is an inspiring, joyful and entertaining survival guide – a literary GPS that promises to transport you away from your phone and back to yourself.

    Now, in "Before Your Dog Can Eat Your Homework, First You Have to Do It," John once again finds himself seeking the wisdom of a canine companion. After years of parenting pets, last December, he became a father to his first child, William. Along with the many new joys of being a dad, John faced a new set of challenges?and it was Scoshi, his wizened white Maltese and faithful confidant for nearly two decades, who, at every turn, pointed the way. At once poignant, profound, and laugh-out-loud funny, this book is a one-of-a-kind celebration of the joys of parenting pets and children alike, and further testament to the enduring wisdom of man's best friend.

    Very rich and providing great sensory pleasure (Oxford English Dictionary)n. A habitual drunkard (Oxford English Dictionary)'Arms linked, just as we did when we were seventeen, we teeter our way to the club, pausing to tug Emma's stiletto out of a drain cover and sling our empty wine bottle into the bin. For the first time in a long while I feel truly happy. I want to be standing arm-in-arm with my best friend, both completely pole-axed, for the rest of my days. And then it comes to me, with a stab: this is possibly our last night out together as free women...'Gabby and Emma have been best friends since primary school in Wales. Emma has a stable job, a nice home and has just got engaged. Gabby has had a succession of disastrous one-night-stands and five awful jobs since drama school . . . and she has just been diagnosed with scurvy. She has one year until the wedding to pull herself together and prove to her friends and family that she can be a proper grown-up.Described by Caitlin Moran as 'filthy, immoral and incredibly funny', Gabrielle Fernie's blog, loveisa4letterturd.com, catalogued her life as a struggling actress with a taste for gin. Here, in her first book, she shares more of her most raucous stories with eye-watering honesty. It is a refreshing, frank and laugh-out-loud account of a young woman trying to find her place in the world; ultimately realising that it's fine to play at being an adult until she properly figures it out.

    That's what she provides readers with in this humorous, insightful book on life after 40. With such chapters as "When Your Blood's Too Tired to Bleed" and "Roughage by Candlelight", readers will love it.

    Kama Pootra is the ultimate poop gag gift for adults.The average human performs approximately 25,000 bowel movements in their lifetime. Sadly, most people never depart from the first poop position they were taught as children. However, there exists another way — fifty-two, in fact!The Kama Pootra is the authoritative educational guide for a new and exciting pooping experience, a governing handbook of free-thinking bathroom conduct. Within these pages, students will find new positions for home or work, alone or with friends, with or without the use of common household items. These lessons are the first step on the tiled path to an enlightened bathroom experience.Place it on the porcelain throne in your guest bathroom for a laugh or give it as a raunchy white elephant gift to a family member. Either way, the Kama Pootra is the perfect poop gag gift for men — or anyone who can't help but giggle at funny poop gifts. There's an entire world of poo-sitions to explore!

    Helen shares her own roller coaster journey from the initial shock of a surprise separation, the messy months hanging out in her PJs through to the highs of rediscovering online dating, tiny pants, rock-solid female friendships and the glorious joy of just being by herself.With the help of relationship experts and an army of women "who know", Get Divorced, Be Happy will show you that going it alone isn't the end, it is just the beginning, and you will come out the other side, stronger, happier and goddamn sassier than ever before.