Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

     And yes, I do realize that I can’t seem to stop these irrational (and slightly impure!) thoughts about Max—Max, my best friend. And I know it’s a risk. You’re right! And I’ll probably never make a move but I so wish that I could get just one kiss from those lips…maybe that would stop the madness once and for all. Anyway, that’s not likely so… Regardless, I’m gonna meet THE one. If Blue never shows up, I’m on a mission to find my Mr. Right and this time I won’t stop until I do. Cross your fingers and say a prayer for me, okay?

     So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.

    Half a century old. Closer to the grave than cradle. And what does Pastor Gus Gospello have to show for his fifty years on earth? Not much. Shepherd of a small church. Married without kids. Faithful keeper of God's commands. Well, most of them, anyway. Gus longs to make a difference for God - to have an eternal legacy. Now, as he comes to grips with his mid-life crisis, Gus acknowledges he'll never be another John Wesley, Charles Spurgeon, or Billy Graham. But can he become the next C.S. Lewis? His wife thinks so. Fueled with the unbridled hope of a naïve novelist, Gus sets out to craft a novel so rich in spiritual symbolism and truth that even the Devil takes notice. And that's never a good sign. The last time the Devil and Gus met, Gospello's pen hovered over the signature line of a dangerous contract - his soul in exchange for a child. But when Gus turned his back on the Great Deceiver, the news spread like Hellfire. Ever since, Satan's been obsessed with personally delivering Gus to Hell. With his eye on Gus's new novel, the Devil tempts Gus with a peek into the spiritual realm of good and evil for a truthful account of his rise, fall, and enduring success. The Devil will feed Gus information few mortals are privileged to know. In return Gus will craft what's sure to become a best seller. Of course, Gus has no intention of making the Accuser look as winsome as promised. Instead, Gus plans to write a scathing satire, exposing the Devil's excessive arrogance. But when the prologue to Gus's novel inexplicably appears in a popular Christian magazine and the Devil is shown to be a pride-filled fool, he seeks to destroy Gus and everything the pastor holds dear, including his precious wife. Gus, willing to lay himself on the line to turn his little flock back to God, makes one last deal and signs the dotted line. Satan finally has claim on Gus's soul, and with it, vindication. But Gus has a few tricks of his own. Win or lose, Pastor Gus is about to discover that striking a deal with Satan, even in jest, can have eternal consequences.

    

     Book three contains three short stories: Estrella tells of the events that led to her becoming trapped in the Onderwereld. We learn about what happened to Dolitt's son after his casino burned down. And we discover what happened with the Vestibulum in Brussels.

    With four brand new stories and two previously published tales, you are sure to giggle, smirk and guffaw. So escape from reality for a bit and snag a copy of Free the Shorts!

    THE YEAR OF SAYING YES by Hannah Doyle will make you dirty-laugh, feel warm and fuzzy, and rediscover life's magic - all thanks to one little word: yes. Fans of Lindsey Kelk, Mhairi McFarlane and Lucy-Anne Holmes, you're in for a real treat. The first of four exclusive part-serialisations of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES by Hannah Doyle.Dear ReadersIt's drizzling outside, which totally matches my #currentmood. Pigs in blankets, all the mince pies and a festive Baileys or five are distant memories. You know the drill - it's January. Everyone's banning booze (terrible idea) or cutting carbs (impossible). To add to the misery pile, my plans to seduce the man of my dreams at the stroke of midnight flopped spectacularly. I'm Izzy. I don't just need a New Year resolution, I need a whole new life. And I need YOU. My dreary life is about to get a total makeover - it's my 'Year of Saying Yes'. And this is where you come in. It's up to you to #DareIzzy. I'm saying yes to your challenges, no matter how nuts, adventurous or wild they are. The sky's the limit - I'm at your mercy, readers! Wish me luck. I have a feeling I'm going to need it. LoveIzzy x Don't miss Part 2 of Izzy's adventure, where Izzy is challenged to ask a total stranger for his number, pose naked for a life drawing class and, wait for it... perform at Glastonbury!

    His father is an abusive drunk with muddled religious views, and his mother, as hard as she tries to defend her son, only ever ends up delaying the inevitable. Things take a turn for the worse one Friday when Bobby brings home a black eye from school. The following day his father brings him out into the woods on a mission to do “God’s Work” and bring him into adulthood. A coming-of-age story about the sins of a father and a son’s chance to absolve himself from them.

    trip to the Smithsonian's National Zoo. But when Lassie and Murdock tag along, everything goes haywire....3:39 a.m. "The Bachelor Party" (The Lassie Files Book 4)Just a few weeks before his wedding, Henry is shocked when he wakes up at the MGM National Harbor for a surprise bachelor party. And if Henry's father, Lassie, and Murdock have anything to say about it, it will be an "hour" that Henry will never forget...even if he wants to...Praise for The Lassie Files:Cat + dog = Henry's crazy night! -Cire6407Man, this is hilarious! It's short and easy to read in one sitting (or laying in my case), but you will find yourself, literally LOL! Gee, I think everyone would love this book! Can hardly wait for the next one in the series! -Louise PledgeI was already a big Nick Pirog fan before reading 3:06 am the Lassie Files so I was fully prepared to like the book. Was NOT prepared to just fall head over heels in love with it, but I did! I love the cat, the dog, the main character, his dad....every single thing about the book! It's funny, heartwarming (as are all Nick's books) and unforgettable. -Amazon CustomerGreat read! Really funny! Lassie is the best! Its a short book but I could not put it down till I was finished. As always Nick Pirog's sense of humor keeps you laughing. The 2 new friends of Lassie are great. I think we have all been there with a dog...you'll see. Can't want to the next Lassie story. -Kristina Masi

    easy. Especially a busy Christmas season. Parties, kids, decorations, kids, pictures, kids, vacation, kids. It's going to take every single adult in Polly's house to pull off a successful holiday. Fortunately, they're up to the task. Doug Randall is still fretting over what to do with his future. He enlists Polly and Henry's help when he comes up with another great idea. He doesn't want Polly to find a body in the building they investigate, but a mystery emerges when he peels wallpaper away from a gigantic painting. Bellingwood's history hasn't given up all its secrets yet and the latest spooky tale stirs memories that had been long-forgotten. Henry's sister, Lonnie, remembers going to the library on her way home from school simply to avoid the old building and she didn't even know the whole story. Once she found out, the creepy factor made more sense. Everything is wrapped up in the joy and excitement of the season. There is nothing quite as wonderful as sharing the holiday with your friends.

     Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.

    

    10 Stories of Love, Faith, and Family "Like Amish soup for the soul."From the author of the bestselling Amish romance series Forbidden Amish Love comes Amish Neighbors, a short story romance collection from the heart.Ten stories under one cover.

     I was given a choice: Go to Heaven. Go back to my life in Savannah. Or spend eternity fighting evil under the direction of the archangels. I chose the demons--and the angels. I chose the Winged. UPRISING In the last year, Joanne Watson has died, fallen in love, fought demons and earned her Wings. None of that compares to what's coming next.... Life as a member of the Winged isn't perfect--or easy. There's always some new camp drama. There's always a demon ready for a fight. There's always death. And now there's the Resistance. Joanne must choose again, this time between her fellow Winged and their burning desire for change or the archangels and the eternal vow she made. Even in the afterlife, one truth remains--everything ends LOST In the last year, Joanne Watson has survived repeated attempts on her life, wholesale slaughter, and the dissolution on the cornerstone of her new existence. And the hard times are only beginning. As the line between right and wrong, friend and foe, and good and evil continue to blur, Joanne is forced to face another irrefutable fact. The most dangerous demons to fight are the ones you can't see. HUNT The last six months have seen more death and destruction than any could have predicted. And the war is only beginning. With the fight taking Joanne and her friends from city streets to abandoned farms to the center of the earth, only one thing is certain. The hunters are now the hunted. ALLIANCE The Fallen have one goal--storm the gates of Heaven and reclaim their heritage. The Winged have one mission--to prevent it all costs. From North America to Africa, Europe to South American, the stage is being set for the final battle, the one to end all worlds, and with it comes an ugly truth. Keep your friends close--and your enemies closer. BATTLE Everything has led to this. One final battle. Truth. Lies. Justice. Revenge. Love. Hate. At the very end–what do you fight for? And continues with her daughter, Olivia... DUTY "I looked and behold, a white horse, and who he sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer." Revelation 6:2 After one hundred odd years of peace, the fate of the world once again hangs in limbo. The First Horseman of the Apocalypse has been released. The new generation must rise to the challenge before the millennia old dominos start to fall. And the Second Horseman is released. Where does obligation end--and duty begin? HONOR The first domino has fallen.