After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

    He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    This plant is used exclusively to comply with the extremely complicated ritual laws set down in the Tablets of Enku.

    It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!

    These texts are characterized by a startling and macabre novelty, with elements of the grotesque, fantastic and child-like touching the imagination of the everyday. They express the cultural landscape of Stalinism -- years of show trials, mass atrocities and stifled political life. Their painful, unsettling eloquence testify to the humane and the comic in this absurdist writer's work. The translator Neil Cornwall gives a biographical introduction to his subject, enlarged upon by the poet Hugh Maxton in a contextual assessment of the writing of Flann O'Brien, Le Fanu and Doyle, and of their shared concerns with detective fiction, terror and death. Daniil Kharms 91905-42) died under Stalin. Along with fellow poets and prose-writers of the era -- Khlebnikov, Biely, Mandelstam, Zabolotsky and Pasternak -- he is one of the emerging experimentalists of Russian modernism.

     (No previous DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE reading experience required.) This 21,000-word collection contains the first-ever publication of "Gave Up The Ghost," the basis for the horror/comedy short movie directed by Gregory Lamberson, that will appear in the upcoming anthology film CREEPERS. In addition to a report from the movie set, this collection contains... "The Car." A pair of vampires get together for an evening of vicious fun. "The Loneliest Jackalope." Bunnies with antlers! You can't go wrong with bunnies with antlers. "Inside the Boxes." Whatever is in there can't be good... "A Bit of Christmas Mayhem." Andrew Mayhem vs. a trio of axe-wielding Santa Clauses. "Scrumptious Bone Bread." It's not just for giants anymore. "A Flawed Fantasy." Sometimes, two girls at once isn't the best idea. "Tin Cans." What will you hear when you put one to your ear?

    If only he had known then what that choice would mean. Thirteen years later, Keegan, no longer a boy, learns that his younger sister survived the massacre and sets off to be reunited with her. When Keegan accidentally interrupts a plot against a princess, his simple trip turns into a complicated struggle for survival. A mysterious elder appears, full of wit and riddle. Mythical monsters shed their fictional skin and hungrily pursue Keegan and his dragon. Haunting nightmares begin to tear at his mind. As he continues on his quest to be reunited with his sister, Keegan is only just beginning to understand what it means to be... The Dragon’s Son

    He had a beautiful new girlfriend and sudden prosperity as an author. But when he adopts an orphaned infant mouse, his world is turned on its head. The mouse comes to symbolize everything left unresolved in his life — his relationship with his divorced parents, his fear of family and commitment, and his inability to feel true happiness and love. By turns hilarious and moving, Mishka Shubaly’s latest Kindle Single captures the journey we all take in life — from being loved, to giving love. Cover by Adil Dara.

    Until it arrives. From the desk of Honor Raconteur comes the tale of one guild, who believes in the impossible, and fight with everything they have to prevent the war they see coming. ~ Contains all three books in the trilogy "Deepwoods," "Blackstone," and "Fallen Ward," as well as "Origins," the collection of short stories.

     When petty criminal, Cal Carver, is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals, and sent on a top secret mission for the President of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong... Featuring spaceships, spacemen, space battles, space spiders, and lots of space stuff in general, isn't it time you set (space) sail with Space Team? This box set collects books 4-6 in the bestselling adventures of Cal Carver and the crew of the dread ship Shatner, by multi-award-winning author, Barry J. Hutchison: Space Team: Song of the Space Siren Space Team: The Guns of Nana Joan Space Team: Return of the Dead Guy

    As tiny and inconspicuous as it may seem, That-Which-Had-Been exhibits an unexpected and varied gift for survival, as it journeys implacably toward its ultimate destination. Along the way, it meets a rich array of ordinary human beings, some of whom assist it along its way, others who impede its progress, none of whom have any idea of its existence.From whence comes the strange, but universal, experience of deja vu? Why do some people exhibit a wisdom far beyond their age and experience - persons reincarnationists refer to as 'old souls'? Joseph Wurtenbaugh in this short story offers a fascinating and tantalizingly plausible explanation for these phenomena, presented in a natural setting that brims with adventure and exhilarating possibility. Not to be missed by anyone who enjoys science fiction or thinking outside the box.

    It was a time known as the Age of Chaos. In a final explosive flash everything was destroyed. The few who survived banded together and formed a Council for protection. But people like Elspeth-mysteriously born with powerful mental abilities-are feared by the Council and hunted down like animals...to be destroyed.Her only hope for survival to is keep her power hidden. But is secrecy enough against the terrible power of the Council? The Farseekers Since their takeover of Obernewtyn, the secret community of Misfits has flourished, protected by their remoteness. Led by Elspeth Gordie, whose extraordinary powers set her apart even among her Misfit friends, an expedition sets out to rescue a powerful Misfit in a distant part of the Land. Only she knows the enormity of their task. But for her is yet another challenge as she must fulfil her vow to find and dismantle the dormant deathweapons left by the Beforetimers.AshlingThe powerful farseeker Elspeth Gordie is sent to Sutrium, seat of the totalitarian council that rules the Land, to seal an alliance between the secret Misfit community at Obernewtyn and rebel forces. The journey takes her far beyond the borders of the Land, across the sea and into the heart of the mysterious desert region of Sador, where she seeks help to destroy the weaponmachines. But before her dark quest can begin, Elspeth must learn the truth of her dreams: she must understand why the Beforetimers destroyed their world ...The Keeping Place After a kidnapping, Elspeth Gordie and the Misfits are forced to join the rebellion against the oppressive Council, using their extraordinary mind powers. But Elspeth must also seek out clues left by the long-dead seer, Kasanda, vital to her quest to destroy the Beforetime weaponmachines. One clue is lost in the past, forcing Elspeth to travel the Dreamtrails, stalked by a terrifying winged beast, with the cat, Maruman, as her guide and guardian. Only there can she learn more of the Beforetimer Misfits and their enemy, Govamen. Gradually Elspeth realises that her quest is intimately linked to the Misfits' refuge Obernewtyn - its past and its future...The Stone Key There was a great crash and wood splintered . . . I had a brief glimpse of a group of Herder priests, bald and robed, peering at me, and then the sundered remnants of the locker door were torn aside and a rough hand reached in to haul me out by the hair. A Hedra captain stared into my face with eyes that burned with a fanatical fire above a thin nose and a lipless slash of a mouth. . .'You will die in great pain and very slowly, mutant,' said the Hedra master.When Farseeker Guildmistress Elspeth Gordie sets out from Obernewtyn to travel to Sutrium at the end of Wintertime, she quickly learns that not everyone welcomes the changes brought about by the rebellion. Capture by an old and vicious enemy, she is drawn into the heart of the Herder Faction, where she learns of a terrible plot to destroy the west coast.To stop it, Elspeth must risk everything, knowing that if she dies, she will never complete her quest to find the weaponmachines that destroyed the Beforetime.But if she succeeds, her journey will lead her to the last of the signs left for her by the seer Kasanda . . .The SendingIt came to me then, like a chilly draught from an unseen gap, that I had always known in my deepest heart that it would be like this, a slipping away from a life full of people I had come to love, in a place I had helped to shape, in a land I had helped to free.The time has come at last for Elspeth Gordie to leave the Land on her quest to find and stop the computermachine Sentinel from unleashing the deadly Balance of Terror arsenal. But before she can embark on her journey, she must find a lost key. And although she has long prepared for this day, nothing is as she anticipated.Elspeth's search will take her where she never thought to go, and bestow upon her stranger companions than any she ever imagined. It will lead her far from her destination to those she believed lost forever.And it will test her, as she has never been tested before . . .

    1965.  War's found himself deep in the glamorous yet lethal world of international espionage. Unhappy with both the treachery and restrictive dress-code, when a name from the past reappears in his life War realises he must risk everything to keep the world safe once again. This short story follows on from the How To Be Dead series and continues the tale of everybody's favourite grumpy Horseman of the Apocalypse...  What Amazon readers are saying about the How To Be Dead Comedy Fantasy Series: ★★★★★ “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.”★★★★★ “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.”★★★★★ “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.”★★★★★ "Laughs and excitement combined!"★★★★★ “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”★★★★★ "If you like Tom Holt, Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Dave Turner's books will fit perfectly into your collection."

    So it comes as a surprise to Jon to be wished a Merry Christmas on what he otherwise thinks is just another day. As his grip on the day starts to unravel, he's confronted with a crew expecting him to know what is going on. After all, it is his ship, and they think he's the captain, so he must know everything. Jon wishes that were so. As his day lurches from one thing to another, it seems that only Santa knows the whole plan. Join Jon, Jane, and the Alpha team for Christmas day in space. This is a short story, set sometime around the end of Hire a Hero, and the beginning of Hero to the Rescue. The Hunter Legacy series: Part One: 1. Hero at Large 2. Hunted Hero Hunting 3. Send in the Hero 4. Make or Break the Hero 5. Hail the Hero End of Part 1 6. Burnside's Killer (An Interlude Novella between Parts 1 & 2) Part Two: 7. Hire a Hero Jane's Christmas (A short story) 8. Hero to the Rescue ***forthcoming***

    Over 1,200 pages to feed your sense of wonder. Something amazing lies hidden in the remote jungle wilderness of New Guinea. It is unremarkable in appearance yet beautiful in purpose. It is intelligent yet not human. It is a gift. But gifts always come at a price.Together in one box set for the first time, the Diffusion series is a story of first contact unlike any other. As one reviewer states, reading this series is “like entering a mystifying portal and attaching jumper cables to your imagination.”Books included in this complete box set:- Diffusion- Infusion- Profusion- Savage- Blue Arrow“Don't worry, you'll have time to breathe at the end! From the first word I was drawn into a vortex of action and tension! This did not abate until the last word was read. Whew, what a ride! Kudos Mr. Smith!”- Tammy, Amazon reviewer  ★★★★★“This whole series has been incredible not only to read, but to become immersed in the ongoing lives of all involved. Hopefully this is not the End! Stan Smith has an amazing gift that enables him to make his books on the edge of virtual reality.”- Claudia Riggs, Amazon reviewer  ★★★★★“You need to read this series! Underestimating the potential for destruction that the Lamotelokhai holds within, the actions of a misguided few come with potentially lethal consequences for the whole planet.- Mandy Walkden-Brown, Amazon reviewer  ★★★★★“New Favorite Author. This author just keeps on getting better with each book. I am enthralled with his world. The characters are well developed and entertaining. The action is non-stop.”- Linda W, Amazon reviewer  ★★★★★“This series has to be the most original concept in recent years, and is executed by an author who puts images into your head that will hold you in thrall.”- Walter Scott, Amazon reviewer  ★★★★★ Scroll up and grab this heavily discounted series!