No Jobs. No friends. Just buckets of our own ignorance. Follow along in horror and hilarity as the family acclimates to the new small town way of life and the author bounces from jobs working in a school cafeteria to selling women’s clothing in a call center to opening a barbecue restaurant. Written in a smart, self-deprecating, salty style, Small Town Ho is all at once poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, full of the struggle of an ordinary family consisting of three boys, one big black lab, one assassin of a cat, and two very tired parents.

    has been fully revised. Packed with 75% new material, L.A. Bizarro boasts scores of fresh discoveries plus original photos presented in luscious, lurid color. Connoisseurs of the weird and wonderful, Anthony Lovett and Matt Maranian steer readers into a world of culinary curiosities, morbid museums, sexual sideshows, and dipsomaniacal dives. From pet cemeteries to piata district, hundreds of odd and outr delights are laid bare for visitors and Angelenos alike.

    His hilarious syndicated newspaper column and numerous best-selling books have sparked the kind of adulation that's often reserved for rock stars or world leaders. His wit cuts right to the core of life's absurdities.In My Teenage Son's Greatest Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry, Dave shares his hopes, fears, and insights about his own stint as a father. Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods: Mood One: Just about to cry. Mood Two: Crying. Mood Three: Just finished crying.

    'Europiloode' documents his journeys through Naples, Pompei, Rome, Vatican, Switzerland, Paris etc.

    His experience was not the little league, boys-of-summer stuff of modern America. For him, it was life and death. Now middleaged and living in California, Alan finds himself coaching a team of eight-year-olds in his beloved sport—and nothing is going right. For a start, the kids are no good at soccer. Secondly, they’re pampered. Born and bred on the sport, Black’s hardscrabble Scottish upbringing consisted of playing tough and victory at all costs. Needless to say, his coaching methods are a far cry from the “winning isn’t everything” mentality his little leaguers have been reared with; and players and parents alike are shocked as Black attempts to transform the losing team through drills and bombast. Alone at night, watching evangelicals on TV, Black finds himself searching for some truth in the culture he finds so bizarre. And it’s with the Tigers that he feels most out of sync—faced with a mix of soft suburban children, a raft of overprotective parents, and an Iranian co-coach called Ali. Told with Black’s uproarious Scottish sensibility, Kick the Balls follows the abrasive, irreverent, and hilarious coach as he contends with a team that winds up with a zero-win record. Both a celebration of his own tough childhood and an account of one man’s navigation of an alien culture, Kick the Balls will delight fans of well-told, laugh-out-loud memoirs.

    suburb. Instead, he humorously falls from one country to the next, striking out repeatedly with the local women, getting robbed, having dreams that became reality, self-diagnosing himself with a host of diseases, and suffering repeated bouts of stomach illness that made marathon bus rides superhuman feats of bodily strength. Along the journey he chronicles the friendships, the women, and the struggles, including one fateful night in Paraguay that he thought would lead to his end.(This book is intended for men, and will be almost universally disliked by women because of its sexist themes and occasional toilet humor.)

    

    But not fearless adventurer Ben Kozel, author of the bestselling Three Men in a Raft. When he returned home after risking life an limb in South America, the question uppermost in his mind was 'where to next?' Ben found the answer in the Yenisey River, which, while it is the fifth longest on the planet, remains one of the world's least-known waterways. So with three companions, Ben embarked on a five month, 5540-kilometre odyssey.They would cross the Mongolian Steppe, traverse the vast boreal forests of Siberia, and enter the realm of tundra high above the Arctic Circle, rowing a leaking and formerly-derelict wooden dory, painstakingly rebuilt by them on a shoe-string budget. Risking rivers in flood, the treacherous and mysterious Lake Baikal, deadly tick-born diseases, Siberian mobsters, radioactive contamination and the onset of the Arctic winter, Ben proved once and for all that he is one of Australia's most gifted and intrepid travel writers - or, as his friends prefer to call him, ;a very lucky bastard'.Filled with hair raising exploits and vivid description, Five Months in a Leaky Boat is both a riveting adventure story, and an intimate look at the beauty and complexity of an almost unknown part of the world.

    And he shares them with brutal honesty in this very book, along with plenty of hilarious (and sometimes painful) anecdotes about his career.This is not a book that will tell you how to format a manuscript or write a compelling query letter. It's a book about how to cope with rejection and bad reviews. Book signings where nobody shows up. Helplessly watching your peers go on to greater success than you. He's been through all of that and so much more, and in these pages you'll have a bunch of laughs as you commiserate and figure out how to get through it all.

    Or at least that's what Crusoe thinks. He's the self-proclaimed "wiener dog who thinks he's more of a celebrity than he really is." (until now!) Crusoe is the star of his wildly popular blog of the same name, winner of the 2013 and 2014 Best Pet Blog Award. That's right... two years in a row! Because Crusoe is a talented and ridiculously photogenic miniature dachshund with a big personality, stunning fashion sense, and an insatiable penchant for whimsy. Perhaps you know him better by his infamous alter ego, BATDOG? We thought so.This is Crusoe's New York Times bestselling book debut, and he's so excited to share it with all of his adoring fans. Now everyone can stare lovingly into his big brown eyes and admire his wit and many costumes any time they choose. Crusoe is certain that his book, featuring hundreds of photos, will make the perfect gift for dog-lovers of all ages. He wants to be accessible to his fans so you can really get to know the mutt behind the mask, the pooch behind that signature sexy pout, the pup with a heart of gold.Don't miss these amazing photos and stories: The adventures of BATDOG and Robin; Cooking with Crusoe; Dr. Crusoe, the dentist, and malpractice; International travels with the worldliest of adventure dogs;Fishing with Crusoe and twin brother Oakley;Dating advice from the studly pup himself;Walking in a winter wienerland;...And many more!

    A brilliant tale of ineptitude, self-righteousness, and human folly, it combines the mordant wit of W. Somerset Maugham with a sense of humor reminiscent of P.G. Wodehouse.When Dr. Sydney Prout is named the head of the United Nations mission to Elephant Island, he believes he is more than ready to meet the challenge of guiding its primitive inhabitants into the post-Colonial era, and eventually, full independence. But neither his many academic credentials nor the Journal of Race Relations have prepared Dr. Prout to reckon with the unrepentant bloody-mindedness of the natives, or anticipate the inventive ways their tribal philosophers will incorporate the most unlikely aspects of modern civilization into their religious lore and traditional way of life.Author Owen Stanley is an Australian explorer, a philosopher, and a poet who speaks seven languages. He is at much at home in the remote jungles of the South Pacific as flying his Staudacher aerobatic plane, deep-sea diving, or translating the complete works of Charles Darwin into Tok Pisin.

    I Hate it Here comes an all-new, even more outrageous and laugh-out-loud funny collection of real letters written by children ages eight to sixteen to their parents about their adventures at summer camp. Written with the same wit and honesty that made the first book a runaway hit, these new letters take the reader on a familiar adventure that conjures up the experience of being away from home, and the hilarious and lasting memories that accompany that special place called sleepaway camp.

    I Did. Now What?! Now it's time for her to write about the real love of her life: Wendell. Her dog.*Do you talk about your dog non-stop? *Do you suspect your dog is a genius? *Do you name each of your dog's toys?*Does your dog get more heavy petting than your spouse? *Do all holidays revolve around your dog? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you probably have a healthy admiration for your dog. But if all of the scenarios in What Wendell Wants sound familiar, well, it's obvious that your appreciation of your pooch has truly crossed the line into true love--dysfunctional, sure, but who cares?! Jenny Lee knows this obsession inside and out, and her advice is not to fight it: there's simply no cure. Instead, she offers hysterical accounts of her own experiences--from fretting over her dog's haircut to getting his portrait painted a la Picasso to trying desperately to impress the Bed & Biscuit dog kennel--to give all kindred dog-loving spirits out there some consolation that they're not alone.From the Hardcover edition.

    So say the backcountry experts at Backpacking Light magazine in a new book that redefines modern day backpacking as safe, comfortable, and fun?but with a much lighter pack. This is the most comprehensive and rigorous text ever published on lightweight backpacking. In addition to chapters about gear and basic skills, Lightweight Backpacking & Camping covers advanced topics, and has the latest information about the best lightweight gear and apparel, including the manufacturers that make it and the retailers that carry it.

    Baseball Prospectus 2013 brings together an elite group of analysts to provide the definitive look at the upcoming season in critical essays and commentary on the thirty teams, their managers, and more than sixty players and prospects from each team.Contains critical essays on each of the thirty teams and player comments for some sixty players for each of those teamsProjects each player's stats for the coming season using the groundbreaking PECOTA projection system, which has been called "perhaps the game's most accurate projection model" (Sports Illustrated)From Baseball Prospectus, America's leading provider of statistical analysis for baseballNow in its eighteenth edition, this New York Times bestselling insider's guide remains hands down the most authoritative and entertaining book of its kind.