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The Average American Male
Chad Kultgen - 2007
I suspect it may be both.” --Toby Young, New York Times bestselling author of How to Lose Friends and Alienate PeopleAn offensive, in-your-face, brutally honest and completely hilarious look at male inner life and sexual fantasy. In the course of this hilariously honest book, our narrator suffers through a relationship with his vapid wannabe-actress girlfriend until he finds the perfect girl. But when he moves into the new relationship, he slowly learns that all women are pretty much the same, that man's true desires will never be fulfilled, and the decision between living life alone or biting the marriage bullet must be made.
Growing Up Jung: Coming of Age as the Son of Two Shrinks
Micah Toub - 2010
Dreamwork, archetypes, conflict resolution, the mind-body connection—Toub’s childhood was a virtual laboratory of psychology. A mysterious growth on his father’s nose embodies the conflict that would lead to his parents’ divorce. Family meetings involved dream analysis and intense emotional unburdening. As a young adult, Micah chases his “anima” in the form of a fickle poetess who eventually breaks his heart, but then a series of coincidences later identified as “synchronicity” lead him to his fiancé. Enriched with excerpts from Jung’s own memoir, and informed by readings and conversations with Jungian gurus and unbelievers alike, Growing Up Jung intelligently examines the pros and cons of Jungian philosophy as we witness Toub embrace his “shadow” and meditate with his “ally” in that elusive quest for “individuation.” While tackling themes like the Anima, the Oedipus Complex, and Transference, it addresses the question: is it possible for the spawn of two shrinks to reach adulthood mentally unscathed?
In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy
Adam Carolla - 2010
It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day-to-day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.
Stephen King: The Playboy Interview
Stephen King - 1983
This is the interview with the horror author Stephen King from the June 1983 issue.
Way of the Warrior
Bernard Schaffer - 2011
A sixteen year veteran and second-generation cop, Schaffer possesses a keen insight into what it takes to successfully uphold the law and not lose your mind in the process. Equal parts biography and instructional guide, Way of the Warrior focuses on the core of the individual officer: the warrior spirit.Whether you're a grunt working The Street or a white shirt who'd need a GPS to find it, this guide is designed to help you reconnect with why you took the oath to serve and protect. Behind the badge and the gun lies the heart of a warrior. Unleash your inner hero.One of the most authentic Law Enforcement Kindle books available, this essay on the modern warrior society of police officers is part-biography, part-instructional guide as to what it means to protect and serve the public, at any cost. It employs Law Enforcement leadership principals, Law Enforcement tactics and methods of Law Enforcement intelligence, but focuses on the core of the individual officer: the warrior spirit.For anyone interested in real Law Enforcement police stories, whether they are grunts in the field or in positions of police leadership. Behind the badge and the gun lies the heart of a warrior. Unleash your inner hero.
Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order
Sarah Colonna - 2012
. . and then screwing it all up. Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Other times we would like to get married, stay in, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, secure life. From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty. She moves to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other. And if there’s one thing Colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof.Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler
Him Downstairs: Laugh-out-loud British Chick Lit
Sherill Turner - 2017
Yes, she’s thirty-three, single, and has had to work as a waitress and children’s party entertainer since her social worker salary suffered from budget cuts, but she stays positive and manages to pay the mortgage on her flat. Her home is her sanctuary – until Tom moves in downstairs. Lucy and Tom quickly fall in love and into a serious relationship, which is complicated by Tom’s recent separation from his wife, who he has two young sons with. Lucy is heartbroken when Tom breaks up with her, saying that something has to give in his busy life. Encouraged/coerced/badgered by her friends into getting ‘back on that horse’, Lucy finds herself at a tacky Singles Night; dating Danny, a Justin Timberlake impersonator; and attempting a rendezvous with her ‘special friend’. Lucy’s quest to move on from Tom would be a whole lot easier if she didn’t have to hear everything he does. After all, how on earth do you get over someone when you can hear them peeing? Him Downstairs is relatable Chick Lit for readers 18+ who have dipped their toe into the world of modern dating and relationships. It contains adult language and humour, and is written in ‘British English’.
Quilt of Souls
Phyllis Lawson - 2015
It wasn’t long before hardships left them unable to provide.Soon, four-year-old Phyllis is plucked off her front porch, ripped away from the only family she knows, and sent to live with her grandmother Lula on an Alabama farm with no electricity, plumbing, or running water.Heartbroken by her mother’s abandonment, Phyllis struggles to acclimate to her new surroundings. Thanks to the unconditional love of Grandma Lula and the healing powers of an old, tattered quilt, she is finally able to adjust to her new life.In Quilt of Souls, Lawson documents her childhood growing up with the incredible woman who raised her and the powerful family heirloom that served as the cloth that would forever stitch their lives together.With its tales of family, despair, freedom and hope, the true story behind this deeply personal memoir serves as the inspiration for http://www.quiltofsouls.com, where individuals share relics and stories from their own family histories.
Domestic Affairs: Enduring the Pleasures of Motherhood and Family Life
Joyce Maynard - 1987
Each essay gives an unfiltered look at the ups and downs of family life and a remarkable window into the challenges of modern motherhood. Topics range from babysitter woes to family visits to coping with a child's burgeoning independence. These collected writings represent nine years' worth of stories about the greatest adventure of Maynard's life, or, as she writes, "the difficult, exhausting, humbling, and endlessly gratifying business of raising children, of ensuring the health of both body and soul." This ebook features an illustrated biography of Joyce Maynard including rare photos from the author's personal collection.
That Bear Ate My Pants!: Will Boy Become Man? Or Will Boy Become Breakfast...
Tony James Slater - 2011
And the trouble with being Tony, is that most of them got one.Just how do you 'look after' something that's trying it's damnedest to kill you and eat you?And how do you find love when you a) don't speak the language, and b) are constantly covered in excrement and entrails?If only he'd had some relevant experience. Other than owning a pet rabbit when he was nine. And if only he'd bought some travel insurance...That Bear Ate My Pants is the hilarious tale of one man's quest to better himself. Whether losing a machete fight with a tree, picking dead tarantulas out of a tank of live ones or sewing the head back on to a partially decapitated crocodile, Tony's misadventures are ridiculous, unbelievable and always entertaining.Long before Sky One got involved, there were already plenty of Idiots Abroad. This is the story of one of them...
Medicine Men: Extreme Appalachian Doctoring
Carolyn Jourdan - 2012
National bestseller "Medicine Men" follows the beloved #1 bestselling "Heart in the Right Place". This is a collection of the most memorable moments from more than a dozen rural physicians who each practiced medicine for more than 50 years in the Southern Appalachian Mountains from 1930-2012. Hilarious, heroic, true stories of miracle cures, ghost dogs, and much madcap medical mayhem. Unimaginably funny and touching situations where men with nerves of steel and hearts of gold get stuck between a rock and a hard place in the Smoky Mountains. These men are saints who walk among us and Jourdan's father is one of them. Jourdan's work is often compared to James Herriot and Bill Bryson. This story collection is like "All Creatures Great and Small" but with people instead of animals or vingnettes from country doctors who took "A Walk in the Woods".Jourdan's first book is on hundreds of lists of best books of the year, best book club books, and funniest books. "Heart in the Right Place" was chosen as Family Circle magazine's first ever Book of the Month, won the Elle magazine Reader's Prize, named a Wall Street Journal Nonfiction Bestseller and ranked #1 on Amazon in Biography, Memoir, Science, and Medicine.
Riding Standing Up: A Memoir
Sparrow Spaulding - 2018
Two loving parents, a beautiful home, and grandparents that doted on her. Life was a dream until the day that changed everything. Sparrow's perfect life was ripped away at age three in one tragic moment that would forever change her. Follow her on her journey as she tells the story of her traumatic childhood and how she fought hard to stay strong despite her circumstances. In Riding Standing Up, Spaulding’s compelling storytelling will have you on the edge of your seat. Get ready to laugh out loud and cry more tears than you’d like as you follow her on her journey to empowerment, never knowing what’s around the corner. Brutally honest, truth-teller Sparrow Spaulding has been an unsung antiheroine…until now. She shows us we don’t have to be perfect to be worthy and that there’s power in being real.
My Funny Major Medical
Linton RobinsonDebra Joy Hart - 2012
So this little book provides a low-cost, over-the-counter dosage to cheer up (and/or terrify) those who find themselves on the wrong end of health maintenance. (Whichever the "wrong end" might be.) Some of the funniest humor writers on the scene today share their stories, jokes, therapeutic venting, and scans of the process of Getting Better - including some medical personnel who didn't realize they were being funny.Contributors include columnists, comedians, authors, TV writers, and people with unauthorized access to hospital files.This inexpensive, pocket-sized book is a time-released "get well card" for the ailing and afflicted, an inside chuckle for medical professionals, and a collection of healing fun for those who aren't under care at the moment.
Memoirs of a Bad Dog
Curtis Moser - 2012
He's been there before, but he never felt like he deserved it until now. Peeing on the carpet is one thing, but now he's killed a man. And it wasn't just any old man--any old man may have been forgiveable. Bogart killed Swifty's father, and Swifty is Bogart's human, so now he deserves his jail sentence. Now he deserves a death sentence. He's truly a bad dog. In an effort to give Swifty back the part of him that he took away, Bogart escapes and embarks on a journey to recover the dead man's Red Sox hat. Joined by his border collie girlfriend, Ginger, and an abandoned kitten named Snowball, the three of them set out to become good again.