He also possesses raw magical talent and the ability to make objects in his vicinity light as a feather or as heavy as depleted uranium, all with a magical thought. It's no wonder the G-men turn to Jake when they need someone to go after a suspected killer who's been knocking off banks in a magic-enhanced crime spree. Problems arise when Jake discovers the bad girl behind the robberies is an old friend, and he happens to know her magic is just as powerful as his, and the Feds have plunged Jake into a secret battle between powerful cartels of magic-users--a cartel whose ruthless leaders have decided that Jake is far too dangerous to live. . . .

    Will any of them survive? Based on true events!

    

    Laugh out loud as they encounter ‘crocodiles’ on the wall, strange African customs and unintelligible Afrikaans accents. Cringe with them as their visiting in-laws embarrass them in front of their new SA friends.If you enjoyed Educating Rita and Shirley Valentine you will recognise Mavis Turner.Set in the 1970s, But Can You Drink The Water? uses subtle observational humour with an underlying pathos to portray the upsets, hurt and changing family dynamics that emigration brings. (The story is based on a 13-part sitcom) ReviewWith a droll, witty, utterly British voice, this manuscript tackles playfully and sincerely the age-old fish out of water tale. What sustains this book, however, is the narrative voice, the dry and self-deprecating humor, and the ability of this author to tell a story simply and well. Publisher’s Weekly reviewer for the ABNA semi-finals.

    It is now 2020 and a bloody reckoning is coming. Princess Adele is heir to the Empire of Equatoria, a remnant of the old tropical British Empire. When she becomes the target of a merciless vampire clan, her only protector is the Greyfriar, a mysterious hero who fights the vampires from deep within their territory. Their dangerous relationship plays out against an approaching war to the death between humankind and the vampire clans.The first book in a trilogy of high adventure and alternate history. Combining rousing pulp action with steampunk style, the Vampire Empire series brings epic political themes to life within a story of heartbreaking romance, sacrifice, and heroism.

    Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

     Fresh from Duck Soup (1933), Julius, Leonard, Arthur and Herbert Marx - or as the world knows them, Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo - are transported by a freak electrical storm to Nacogdoches, Texas in the year 1826. Landing in the midst of the Fredonian Rebellion (the first attempt by settlers in Texas to secede from Mexico) and into the company of the only other Jewish person in town, they are in deep dreck. Falling in with Stephen F. Austin and inadvertently filling his head with knowledge of what is to come, our heroes risk tampering with the future of Texas, and perhaps the entire U.S.A., in their quest to return to their own time. Will they find their way back? Or will they be doomed to live out their lives without indoor plumbing?

    

    . . .Being an Inquisitor is no job for a nice Jewish boy. But when Sacha Kessler learns he can see witches, he’s yanked out of everyday life on Hester Street and apprenticed to the New York Police Department’s star Inquisitor, Maximillian Wolf.The Inquisitor’s mission is to stop magical crime. And New York at the beginning of the twentieth century is a magical melting pot where each ethnic group has its own brand of homegrown witchcraft and magical gangs rule the streets from Hell’s Kitchen to Chinatown.Soon Sacha has teamed up with fellow apprentice Lily Astral, daughter of one of the city’s richest Wall Street Wizards—and a spoiled snob, if you ask Sacha. Their first job is to find out who’s trying to kill Thomas Edison.Edison has invented a mechanical witch detector that could unleash the worst witch-hunt in American history. Every magician in town has a motive to kill him. But as the investigation unfolds, all the clues lead back to the Lower East Side. And Sacha soon realizes that his own family could be accused of murder!

    Marshal Jubal Smoak to suspect the outlaw Crow Redhand. But the savagery of the murders doesn’t add up for that of a common cattle thief and bank robber, only that he knew the victims. The locals say a legendary demon has awakened, come to terrorize the Downstream People. Smoak, in his pursuit of Redhand, encounters a young widow and a cattle baron both of whom have a deadly connection to a mysterious drifter. The trail of signs leads Smoak deeper into the Indian legend. Intrigue and the unexpected arise in Dire Wolf of the Quapaw.

    The seamless and seemingly effortless blend of action and humour, the wonderful characters, the rich settings, the brilliant plot - all of it is perfect' James P. Blaylock

     The undead matriarch of a Britain where the Aristocracy is made up of werewolves and vampires, where goblins live underground and mothers know better than to let their children out after dark. A world where being nobility means being infected with the Plague (side-effects include undeath), Hysteria is the popular affliction of the day, and leeches are considered a delicacy. And a world where technology lives side by side with magic. The year is 2012 and Pax Britannia still reigns.Xandra Vardan is a member of the elite Royal Guard, and it is her duty to protect the Aristocracy. But when her sister goes missing, Xandra will set out on a path that undermines everything she believed in and uncover a conspiracy that threatens to topple the empire. And she is the key-the prize in a very dangerous struggle.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    Bound by duty and love, he has spent five thousand years living in the shadows, protecting God's 'so loved' humanity from his evil demon brethren. For his faithfulness to his commission, he has been promised a "Spirit" mate, that he will find in due season. After five thousand years, of searching...he has found her, at last. Nothing and no one will keep him from claiming his woman. Not even her! JODI is a college professor who has been abandoned by her husband, family and friends. She has lost faith humanity and has no interest in establishing a new relationship. With anyone! But when she walks upon Brock, in the park, both their worlds are changed. But is that change for the better? Jodi is Brock's 'Spirit' Mate. She's the one woman whose blood promises to extinguish the fiery darts of his demon within. Nothing will keep him from claiming her. But can she risk it? Are her wounds too deep? Unknown to both of them Brock's, enemies are gathering en masse. In hopes of delivering a devastating final blow to him, Jodi becomes their number one target. Just how far will Brock go to save his "Spirit" Mate? Will he rescue her in time? What will the fallout be? Will they survive this attack and kindle the love affair of both their dreams? Their contemporary love story is fraught with new found self-worth, spirituality, sexuality, fierce bloody battles...and REDEMPTION!

    Why should the afterlife be any different? We are given a choice when we die to move on to the Source, stay on earth and slowly evolve into more of what we were (good people become angels and bad people become demons), or a chosen few can work to keep the Balance between them. The title character Raven is such a warrior who works to maintain that balance.Malign, the demon responsible for most of the world’s cataclysmic wars, has come to the United States with an army of vampires or, more specifically, demons she has convinced to act as those fabled creatures of the night to sow discord and social unrest. Raven and the other Balance soldiers must track Malign down and in their spare time try to convince the ancient angel Metatron that he is doing more harm than good with his participation in mortal affairs. Tagging along for the ride are a motorcycle gang of millionaire philanthropists, Raven’s fellow Balance warrior Zeus’ younger angelic brother, and the demon Lucifer with his babysitter Gabriel.The novel is written in two styles. Each chapter begins in a soliloquy from the title character Raven, where she tells pieces of her back-story intertwined with philosophical musings on her family life and dealing with loss, with the following bulk of the chapter told in a third person narrative.