Tom had long suspected that there was something wrong with him, but despite his best efforts, he could never figure out what it was. With the help of Linda, a writer and investigator who he would later marry, Tom went looking for answers that would explain his quirky way of seeing the world. At the age of 47, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism. Raw and personal, this book of essays was first inspired by Tom’s challenges with Asperger’s Syndrome, but the humorous bite-sized stories apply to any kind of interpersonal communication. The simple solutions that Tom and Linda have discovered – while dressing up a phrenology head or removing a wild opossum from the master bath – have the surprising power to help us learn how to feel more respected, heard and understood in all of our relationships. Introduction Remember that weird kid in the back of the classroom who just couldn’t stop talking about astronomy, and would bring up the discovery of Pluto during lessons about the American Civil War? That was me. My name is Tom Peters. I’m a composer and GRAMMY®-nominated classical musician now, and I’ve played music all over the world. I have a wife named Linda, a college-aged son from my first marriage, and eight different types of stringed instruments at home including six ukuleles. In 2011, at the tender age of 47, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. At that time, Asperger’s Syndrome was considered a mild form of autism, characterized by an inability to understand how to interact socially. Those of us with Asperger’s – or Aspies, as a term of endearment – tend to have few facial expressions and are apt to stare blankly at other people. It’s nothing personal; we really can’t help it. Aspies are often accused of being "in their own world" and preoccupied with their own thoughts. We are usually clumsy with uncoordinated movements, are socially awkward, have repetitive routines or rituals, and odd speech and language. Which didn’t exactly make me a chick magnet. Regardless of an Aspie’s age or place in life, relationships are often a challenge. Being unable to understand nonverbal communication or how you relate to the people around you can cause Aspies to blurt out inappropriate remarks and say just plain odd things, usually at exactly the wrong time. But it’s not all bad news. The unusual focus and intensity that goes along with this disorder has helped me to hone my skills as a professional double bass player and later, as a composer of silent film scores. On a personal level, I am honest, dependable and straightforward. I love deeply and always try to do my best. I don’t play mind games. I don’t know how. And now, as a middle-aged adult, I’m in a happy, healthy relationship. My wife, Linda, is a writer who used to work with adults with mental, emotional and developmental disabilities. It was Linda’s idea for me to share some anecdotes about what it felt like to be on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum. She thought it might help someone to hear me articulate the feelings involved in some of the unique challenges I face. Around the same time, we also started writing articles together about how we were making communication work so well in our Asperger’s relationship. This book is a collection of some of those articles and blog posts about our lives.

    Comparing and contrasting both AS and non-AS partners' viewpoints, this book frankly examines the fundamental aspects of relationships that are often complicated by the disorder. With all findings illustrated with case examples taken from interviews conducted with couples, the author tackles issues such as attraction, trust, communication, sex and intimacy, and parenting. Drawing on her extensive research and established career as a Relate counsellor, Maxine Aston has produced a much-needed analysis of intimate relationships where one adult has AS and this book is a must for all those with AS and their partners, as well as for friends, family and counsellors.

    She explains how behaviours that may have appeared odd - or even downright irritating - are the manifestation of AS, and shows how understanding can lead to greater tolerance, or to change. Stanford provides a wealth of strategies for living successfully with the more uncompromising aspects of AS, pointing out that AS also brings enormous strengths to a relationship, and emphasizing the value of understanding. Including many quotes from people in long-term AS relationships, the book describes many positive solutions that have worked for other couples.

    Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband—no easy task for a guy whose inability to express himself rivals his two-year-old daughter's, who thinks his responsibility for laundry extends no further than throwing things in (or at) the hamper, and whose autism-spectrum condition makes seeing his wife's point of view a near impossibility.Nevertheless, David devotes himself to improving his marriage with an endearing yet hilarious zeal that involves excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies that result from self-reflection both comic and painful. They include "Don’t change the radio station when she's singing along," "Apologies do not count when you shout them," and "Be her friend, first and always." Guided by the Journal of Best Practices, David transforms himself over the course of two years from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest, the husband he’d always meant to be.Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism-spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.

    Her own life presents many rich examples. From being labelled nerdy and shy as an undiagnosed child to redefining herself when diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome as an adult, she describes how her perspective shifted to understanding a previously confusing world and combines this with the results of extensive research to explore the 'why' of ASD traits. She explains how they impact on everything from self-care to holding down a job and offers typically practical and creative strategies to help manage them, including a section on the vestibular, sensory and social benefits of martial arts for people with autism.Well known in the autism community and beyond for her popular blog, Musings of an Aspie, Cynthia Kim's book is rich with personal anecdotes and useful advice. This intelligent insider guide will help adults with ASDs and their partners, family members, friends, and colleagues, but it also provides a fresh and witty window onto a different worldview.

    But what if it's a world not necessarily made for you? Navigating adulthood is complicated for anyone, but it can be especially overwhelming for someone living with Asperger's. You're used to having things the way you want them, when you want them. You're really into history, or art, or gaming...but dating, small talk, or the workplace? Not so much. So what can you do?Fear not, dear Aspie! Let Asperger's and Adulthood guide you through the waters of adulthood living with Asperger's syndrome. Blythe Grossberg, best-selling author of Asperger's Rules!, provides workable strategies for navigating the ins-and-outs of balancing Asperger's with career goals, romance, and socializing. Learn step-by-step advice about leaving home or graduating from college, and discover the freedom of making your own way--and thriving--in the world. With an estimated half a million Aspies set to enter the workforce within the next decade, your participation in the institution of adulthood is required, and it's totally possible to do it on your own terms.Get out on your own and make the spectrum work for you!

    Thousands of people live in Asperger marriages without knowing the answers to important questions such as `What behaviours indicate that my spouse has AS?' `Is it worthwhile to get a diagnosis?' `Is there hope for improvement?'Katrin Bentley has been married for 18 years. Since receiving her husband's diagnosis of AS, their marriage has improved substantially. They learnt to accept each other's different approaches to life and found ways to overcome problems and misunderstandings. Today they are happily married and able to communicate effectively.Alone Together shares the struggle of one couple to rescue their marriage. It is uplifting and humorous, and includes plenty of tips to making an Asperger marriage succeed. This book offers couples hope, encouragement and strategies for their own marriages.

    This book will help you bring out those gifts.” In his bestselling memoir, Look Me in the Eye, John Elder Robison described growing up with Asperger’s syndrome at a time when the diagnosis didn’t exist. He was intelligent but socially isolated; his talents won him jobs with toy makers and rock bands but did little to endear him to authority figures and classmates, who were put off by his inclination to blurt out non sequiturs and avoid eye contact.By the time he was diagnosed at age forty, John had already developed a myriad of coping strategies that helped him achieve a seemingly normal, even highly successful, life. In Be Different, Robison shares a new batch of endearing stories about his childhood, adolescence, and young adult years, giving the reader a rare window into the Aspergian mind.In each story, he offers practical advice—for Aspergians and indeed for anyone who feels “different”—on how to improve the weak communication and social skills that keep so many people from taking full advantage of their often remarkable gifts. With his trademark honesty and unapologetic eccentricity, Robison addresses questions like:• How to read others and follow their behaviors when in uncertain social situations• Why manners matter• How to harness your powers of concentration to master difficult skills• How to deal with bullies• When to make an effort to fit in, and when to embrace eccentricity• How to identify special gifts and use them to your advantageEvery person, Aspergian or not, has something unique to offer the world, and every person has the capacity to create strong, loving bonds with their friends and family. Be Different will help readers and those they love find their path to success.

    However, their paths were quite different. Temple's logical mind controlled her social behavior. She interacted with many adults and other children, experiencing varied social situations. Logic informed her decision to obey social rules and avoid unpleasant consequences. Sean's emotions controlled his social behavior. Baffled by social rules, isolated and friendless, he made up his own and applied them to others. When they inevitably broke his rules, he felt worthless and unloved. Both Temple and Sean ultimately came to terms with the social world and found their places in it. Whether you are a person with autism, a caregiver in the autism community, or just someone interested in an outsider view of society, their powerful stories will enthrall and enlighten you.

    A woman in love with a man with AS may interpret his difficulties with communication and socialization as a lack of interest in the relationship. He may vacillate between being gentle and caring to seeming cold and distant. She may find his behaviour hard to understand, resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation, and confusion. This book shows how to overcome these difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner. From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfilment both individually and as a couple. This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where one partner has Asperger's Syndrome.

    Written with a very funny and riveting honesty as only a person with the illness can do, Bipolar Happens! offers practical knowledge and deep insights into what it is like to live with bipolar disorder.Compelling, insightful and never afraid to tell the truth , many of Julie’s readers credit this book as being their personal catalyst for change. “When I read this book I actually felt that someone really understood me, and it made me feel hope for the first time since my diagnosis. I didn’t know what it meant to be psychotic or why I got overwhelmed a lot in crowds. I learned how to manage mania much better than in the past. And now I can see that I’m not the only one who wakes up with depression. Julie is funny and so willing to say what many people won’t. This book talks about the stuff we go through that never gets put into books. The book is like reading fables. It’s not overwhelming, but you really learn a lot.”

    And more often than we realize, that face is wearing lipstick. Autism in Heels , an intimate memoir, reveals the woman inside one of autism's most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of thirty-five, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, Jennifer exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but--more importantly--as a thoroughly modern woman.Beyond being a memoir, Autism in Heels is a love letter to all women. It's a conversation starter. A game changer. And a firsthand account of what it is to walk in Jennifer's shoes (especially those iconic red stilettos).Whether it's bad perms or body image, sexuality or self-esteem, Jennifer's is as much a human journey as one on the spectrum. Because autism "looks a bit different in pink," most girls and women who fit the profile are not identified, facing years of avoidable anxiety, eating disorders, volatile relationships, self-harm, and stunted independence. Jennifer has been there, too. Autism in Heels takes that message to the mainstream.From her own struggles and self-discovery, she has built an empire of empowerment, inspiring women the world over to realize they aren't mistakes. They are misunderstood miracles.

    At age thirteen, he is mentally and developmentally between one and three years old and will need constant care for the rest of his life. Brown travels the globe, meeting with genetic scientists and neurologists as well as parents, to solve the questions Walker’s doctors can’t answer. In his journey, he offers an insightful critique of society’s assumptions about the disabled, and he discovers a connected community of families living with this illness. As Brown gradually lets go of his self-blame and hope for a cure, he learns to accept the Walker he loves, just as he is. Honest, intelligent, and deeply moving, The Boy in the Moon explores the value of a single human life.

    A musical genius and a mathematical wonder, the two shared astronomical IQs, but they also shared something else -- they both were diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism that affects millions of Americans and makes social contact painfully unbearable. Finding each other after a lifetime of loneliness was a miracle. When Jerry and Mary married, they were catapulted into the limelight. They appeared on 60 Minutes and soon were known as "superstars in the world of autism," shining examples of two people who refused to give up in the face of their mutual challenges.But just when it appeared that their lives would enjoy a fairy-tale ending, their marriage fell apart. The Hollywood feeding frenzy was too much to handle, and they divorced. After years of heartache, soul searching, and personal growth, Jerry and Mary remarried. Today, with their union stronger than ever, they have dedicated themselves to helping countless other people with Asperger's and autism lead lives of dignity. Mozart and the Whale is an unforgettable love story, the incredible chronicle of their journey together -- and apart.

    Other times, he or she may have emotional outbursts for no apparent reason. And in those moments when you can’t understand each other at all, you both feel fed up, frustrated, and confused.The behavior of people with Asperger’s can be hard to understand and easy to misinterpret, which is why it’s so important to learn more about your partner’s condition. The tools presented in Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome will help you build intimacy and improve the way you and your partner communicate. Filled with assessments and exercises for both you and your partner, this book will help you forge a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.This book will teach you how to: • Understand the effect of Asperger’s syndrome on your partner • Practice effective communication skills • Constructively work through frustrations and fights • Establish relationship ground rules to help you fulfill each others’ needs