Instead, she got a demon. Sometimes growing up means learning that what you think you want is not always what you need.At the publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management software (DRM) applied.

    The family -- which refuses to believe in him -- is in Wilde's way a commentary on the British nobility of the day -- and on the Americans, too. The tale, like many of Wilde's, is rich with allusion, but ends as sentimental romance...

    For all you fellow agonizers, fretters, and nervous wrecks, this book is for you. Read it and weep...with laughter

    And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

    Thousands of children have been inspired to weave their own stories to go with his intriguingly titled pictures. And now, some of our most imaginative storytellers attempt to solve the perplexing mysteries of Harris Burdick. Enter The Chronicles of Harris Burdick to read this incredible compendium of stories: magical, funny, creepy, poignant, inscrutable, these are tales you won't soon forget.(front flap)

    Oh, the form it takes may vary-firestorm, earthquake, plague, new ice age, alien invasion, nuclear cloud, or the rise of our machines-but everyone who survives will be starting over at Square One. Your needs won't be that different from today's: food, shelter, work, finances, relationships, 24-hour cable.... But you'll have more raw materials to deal with. Apocalypse How is the humorous how-to-guide to living your best life possible (after the Apocalypse renders your current quality of life null and void.) Organized like a travel or lifestyle guide, the book tells you all you need to know in order to fend off zombies, forge for non-radioactive food, and make the most of your new dwelling (while ignoring the ash outline of its previous occupants on the far wall.)This handy volume includes such essential sections as: What to Expect When We're Exploding Before We Blow: Your Essential To-Hoard List Should You Stay or Should You Flee? Questionnaire Sex, Love, and Dating: What if You Are the Last Man on Earth? The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Petty Tyrants The Apocalyptic Aptitude Test Apocalypse How is guaranteed to be of use in the world to come. It also makes a handy defense weapon if thrown, and firestarter if needed.

    Modelled on those catalogues that spill unwanted from your weekend newspapers, this is a celebration of triumphantly useless and inappropriate consumer choices. Illustrated throughout in the shape and style of catalogues that offer you the chance to buy machines that stamp your initials onto golf balls or allow you to warm you slippers electronically before putting them on. An array of toys, gadgets, and handy-helps, it's a modern vision of a consumer paradise gone very weird indeed.

     There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.       Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

    You'll find everything you need to know in this incredibly comprehensive reference, including:- Air Travel (Or: Why Birds Never Look Truly Relaxed)- Traveling as a Family (Or: No, We Are NOT There Yet)- Traveling in Europe ("Excuse me! Where is the Big Mona Lisa?")- Camping: Nature's Way of Promoting the Motel Industry

    Magic Child, a fifteen-year-old Indian girl, wanders into the wrong whorehouse looking for the right men to kill the monster that lives in the ice caves under the basement of Miss Hawkline's yellow house. What follows is a series of wild, witty, and bizarre encounters. The book was originally published in 1974.

    His brash, confident, undulating artwork sent a shock wave through the comics world for its unique, fully formed aesthetic.From its opening pages, Ant Colony immerses the reader in a world that is darkly existential, with false prophets, unjust wars, and corrupt police officers, as it follows the denizens of a black ant colony under attack from the nearby red ants. On the surface, it’s the story of this war, the destruction of a civilization, and the ants’ all too familiar desire to rebuild. Underneath, though, Ant Colony plumbs the deepest human concerns—loneliness, faith, love, apathy, and more. All of this is done with humor and sensitivity, exposing a world where spiders can wreak unimaginable amounts of havoc with a single gnash of their jaws.DeForge’s striking visual sensibility—stark lines, dramatic color choices, and brilliant use of page and panel space—stands out in this volume.

    He wasn't partying in high school or winning football games like his older brother. Instead, he posted comics on the Internet. Now, he's ready to share his hard-earned advice from his 21 years of life in the funny, relatable voice his fans love.In this illustrated collection, Rallison tells his own stories of growing up as the "odd one out": in art class with his twin sister (she was more talented), in the middle school locker room, and up to one strange year of college (he dropped out). Each story is filled with the little lessons he picked up along the way, serious and otherwise, like:* How to be cool (in seventh grade)* Why it's OK to be second-best at something, and* How to survive your first, confidence-killing job interviewsFilled with fan-favorite comics and never-before-seen material, this tongue-in-cheek take on some of the weirdest, funniest parts of life is perfect for both avid followers and new converts.