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The Fake Bride Rescue
Jo Grafford - 2020
Folks tend to expect a little more action in the romance department from a former star linebacker and an ex party machine. But a decade in the Special Forces followed by career in fire rescue operations hasn’t left him much time to play Romeo. So he does the unthinkable — he hires an actress to pose as his bride for the weekend. Serena Chandler is supposed to be working on her doctoral dissertation, not filling in for her bestie’s slightly scandalous rent-a-date service. However, her short-term “husband” seems like a perfect gentleman, so she relaxes and decides to enjoy their weekend trip together while keeping things strictly professional between them. He’s made it clear he’s a no strings attached kind of man, and that’s fine with her. Their carefully negotiated agreement works right up to the point when a fire breaks out at his alma mater, and she becomes trapped in the gym. Watching the ripped and ready Ransom take charge in a daring rescue operation, however, makes all her best-laid plans go up in smoke. She finds herself scheming with her Mensa-level I.Q. for a way to turn their fake marriage into a real one. If they survive the fire, of course! Step into the world of Disaster City Search and Rescue, where officers, firefighters, military, and medics, train and work alongside each other with the dogs they love, to do the most dangerous job of all — help lost and injured victims find their way home.
101+ Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
Arnie Lightning - 2014
Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean knock knock jokes for children. Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Prime Members can read this book for FREE! Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with these funny knock knock jokes. With silly jokes and hilarious laughs, beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment.
This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home.
101+ funny knock knock jokes
Excellent for early and beginning readers
Hours of fun and entertainment for your child
Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud
Funny jokes from this book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Icy!Icy who?Icy you! Open this door!
HAHA!
Knock knock!Who’s there?Alfred!Alfred who?Alfred the dark! Open the door!
LOL!
Knock knock!Who’s there?Juno!Juno who?Juno how long I’ve been waiting out here?
HAHA!
Knock knock!Who’s there?Athena!Athena who?Athena funny movie the other day!
LOL!
Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children) This funny joke book is full of hilarious knock knock jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about food will give you a case of the giggles. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Best-Selling Children's Book Author, Arnie Lightning Arnie Lightning is a best-selling children's book author with a straightforward goal. He wants his work to create a positive impact in the lives of others through children's books. Learning morals, lessons, and good character can start at a young age. Arnie's books reflect this. By providing a comfortable and entertaining environment, learning can be a fun activity! Scroll up and click 'buy' to get these funny jokes!
100% Money Back Guarantee
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El gato que encontró a Dios
Robert Fisher - 2003
The first change will be in his diet, and from now on puss is obliged to eat vegetables instead of his beloved cat food. But things get complicated and, unwittingly, Marmalade ends up in India in the Ashram of a well-known guru together with his companion in misfortune Fluffy the pussycat. After many adventures they return to their native land after being abducted by a UFO and end up triumphing on the small screen, because, as the authors conclude, "If you like happy endings, this is the book for you"
A Savage Set My Soul On Fire
Nola Jewels - 2019
The abuse she’s experienced from her mother and step dad has left her sheltered and guarded. Her only motivation is to one day escape the darkness that surrounds her. Her vision is clear: work hard, get an education and walk away from the house of horrors for good. When the opportunity to get more money comes her way she jumps at the chance. Money is now her goal and the path she’s taking to get it will lead her down the road to an unexpected future.
The Hampton brothers Za’Shon ‘Fire’, Jaivon, and Tyree are running things in Atlanta. Of the trio, Fire’s the most arrogant and the only one willing to do anything to take his family to the next level. His focus was on one thing building his empire and making more money. That is until he meets Lacye. He falls fast for her.
Lacye has never met someone like Fire. His arrogance and bluntness takes her by surprise. But it’s also the thing she falls in love with. He believes he’s found the perfect woman who’s beautiful, smart, and innocent. Their romance goes fast but the secrets she’s been holding comes out. His lifestyle and her secrets crash together making the perfect storm. It leaves a path of destruction and hurt. They both find themselves losing everything they’ve worked so hard for. Za’Shon won’t allow his world to come crashing down and he won’t lose Lacye. The savage in him won’t let her go but the cost of loving her threatens to bring down him and his brothers. His recklessness creates havoc and starts a war that threatens to take everything and everyone away from him. But that’s what happens when you set Fire to Lacye.
Diary of an Adorable Fat Girl: The Complete, Full-length Novel: For anyone who's ever been on a diet (yes - all of us!)
Bernice Bloom - 2017
She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers that even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun. This is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins 'Fat Club' where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye. The story is laugh-out-loud funny and will resonate with anyone who has dieted, tried to keep up with any sort of exercise programme or spent 10 minutes in a changing room trying to extricate herself from a way too-small garment that she ambitiously tried on and is now completely stuck in. Bernice Bloom is the big, new name in comedy writing...this is the first full-length novel after her series of laugh-out-loud mini books.
Works by David Sedaris: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Books LLC - 2010
Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168
The New York Times Supersized Book of Sunday Crosswords: 500 Puzzles
Will Shortz - 2006
Everything about the New York Times Supersized Book of Sunday Crosswords is, well, supersized. At one hour per puzzle (that's pretty fast!), eight hours of solving per day, it would still take two months of solid solving to finish this book.
Chief Complaint: Can't Find the Toilet Paper (A Collection of Reader-Submitted Medical Stories)
Kerry Hamm - 2020
In this volume readers from around the globe touch down on the Covid-19 pandemic, weird patient complaints, and more. Don't worry if you're new to either series. You don't need to read previous volumes to follow the smorgasbord of stories submitted by individual first responders, healthcare employees, or patients.
Jinx at the Greenbrier
Deanna Edens - 2016
Her stories begin when she arrived in 1936 and met such notable historical personalities as Eleanor Roosevelt, Clare Boothe Luce, and Sam Snead. Her adventures continue through the era when the Greenbrier housed high-level German and Japanese diplomats at the beginning of World War II, then through the days when it served as a United States Army hospital. Jinx’s exploits encompass encounters with interior designer Dorothy Draper, the Duchess of Windsor, and Bing Crosby—just to name a few. Jinx at the Greenbrier offers a fascinating picture of the celebrities, high-society personalities, and government officials who frequented the grand Greenbrier Resort in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia during the thirties and forties. Prop up your feet, grab a cuppa tea, and delight in these misadventures, as told through the eyes of an eighty-six-year-old woman reminiscing about the days when she was little girl growing up at the fabulous Greenbrier Resort.
The Spy Who Came in from the Bin: A Jonathon Fairfax Novel
Christopher Shevlin - 2020
He’s taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him.The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There’s also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him…Jonathon Fairfax – still the world’s most socially awkward hero – is back. If only he knew.‘A hugely entertaining novel … a surprising, yet strangely fitting, progression to the Jonathon Fairfax story.’ Scott Pack (former head buyer for Waterstones)Pick up the latest Jonathon Fairfax novel – sequel to two Amazon bestsellers: The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax (‘A comic gem’ Stylist, ‘You can’t help being tickled’ The Guardian, Bath Novel Award shortlist) and Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed (‘A funny, daft-yet-relatable, nerve-jangly thriller’ Emerald Street).*That’s a trashcan or dumpster, for American readers.The Jonathon Fairfax novels can be read in any order.
Die Laughing 2: Five More Comic Crime Novels
Ben Rehder - 2014
He's working a routine case, complete with hours of tedious surveillance, when he sees something that shakes him to the core. There, with the subject, is a little blond girl wearing a pink top and denim shorts—the same outfit worn by Tracy Turner, a six-year-old abducted the day before. When the police are skeptical of Ballard's report—and with his history, who can blame them?—it's the beginning of the most important case of his life.LAST CHANCE LASSITERPaul LevineIn this prequel to the “Jake Lassiter” series, the linebacker-turned-lawyer faces overwhelming odds. Fired from his job and dumped by his girlfriend, Lassiter rents a grungy law office in a Miami Beach parking garage. What else could go wrong? Well, he could be disbarred for punching out his own client. As for cases, the down-and-out lawyer has only one. Lassiter represents Cadillac Johnson, an aging rhythm and blues musician who claims his greatest song was stolen by a top-of-the-charts hip-hop artist. The evidence is long gone and chances of winning are slim. Except for one thing. “If your cause is just,” Lassiter says, “no case is impossible.”CLIENTParnell HallStanley Hastings couldn't be happier. He had his first paying client, and the assignment was straight out of a forties noir movie, tailing the man's cheating wife and snapping pictures of her at a motel. If only he hadn't fallen asleep on stakeout. When he wakes up the woman is dead, the murder weapon is in his car, and a small town police force straight out of In the Heat of the Night has him cast in the Sidney Poitier role. To clear his name—and get paid—Stanley will have to figure out who his client is, who killed the woman in the upstate motel, and who was the resultant corpse!RADIO ACTIVITYBill FitzhughFM rock deejay Rick Shannon has just been fired from his latest Classic Rock station. He’s thinking it’s time to get out of radio once and for all. But when a famous deejay disappears in Mississippi, Rick gets a job offer to take over the slot. So he packs his bags and moves back to his home state where he comes across a tape of an illegally recorded phone conversation that might explain the fate of the missing deejay. Rick starts looking into the matter, and before you can say “Stairway to Heaven” he’s uncovered a scheme of blackmail, arson, murder, and a major FCC violation. Based on an illegal recording made by the author (and former FM rock deejay), Radio Activity redefines classic rock.CALABAMA Steve BrewerWhen a speeding Corvette flies over his head, leaving him without a scratch, Eric Newlin decides it's an omen and his life is about to change. He's right. Within days, he's broke, homeless, unemployed and getting divorced. He falls so far that he ends up involved in a kidnapping scheme with hillbilly crimelord Rydell Vance. Leavened with dark humor, CALABAMA takes a wry look at California's rural, redneck interior, a bitter, precarious place where it's easy for an outsider's life to spiral out of control.
300 Best Jokes: One-Liners and Funny Short Stories Collection (Donald's Humor Factory Book 1)
Donald Shaw - 2017
Looking for Something New and Really Funny? Imagine you can get it with JUST ONE CLICK! Yes, this is a JOKE BOOK of your dreams. Vol.1 of the Donald's Humor Factory series. This super funny adult joke book is free of swear words. Donald Shaw is a popular comic and an award-winning humor books author (his wife gave him a French kiss award)! His jokes are loved by thousands of people from Alaska to Zimbabwe, and possibly outside of Earth. Joking is always fun! Jokes bring smiles to people’s faces. Jokes make us laugh. People fall in love when they smile at each other. We love joking in the company of our best friends and families. Jokes help us to relax and overcome any difficulties. Joking is an awesome social skill and a great way to make new friends and to communicate nearly in any surrounding. Many people also love just to read some good jokes for amusement. However, it is not that easy to find real good jokes today. Some of them are simply out-of-date. Some of them are not clean enough. You may also find many joke books that are not really funny and contain too much fluff and advertising. This jokes book is different! Buying this humor book you will get: A great collection of 300 FUNNY JOKES One-liners, real-life awkward situations, and hilarious short stories Great book to read on a long trip Clean and dirty jokes WITHOUT nasty words Jokes for adults and teenagers Jokes about relationship, marriage, bar, professions, hobbies, etc. LIMITED TIME BONUS: the link to download my FREE HUMOR LIBRARY that includes hundreds of great jokes for kids, adults, and teenagers. So the whole family may have fun! This is no-brainer, really! This book is free of racism. I support LGBT community, because love is love. I love all people in the world and I want to make you laugh and smile! This is my ultimate goal and I did not mean to insult anyone. So relax, take it easy and enjoy this humor book! Buy this funny book NOW and roll on the floor laughing! Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!
The Cardturner: A Novel about a King, a Queen, and a Joker
Louis Sachar - 2010
His girlfriend has dumped him to hook up with his best friend. He has no money and no job. His parents insist that he drive his great-uncle Lester to his bridge club four times a week and be his cardturner—whatever that means. Alton’s uncle is old, blind, very sick, and very rich. But Alton’s parents aren’t the only ones trying to worm their way into Lester Trapp’s good graces. They’re in competition with his longtime housekeeper, his alluring young nurse, and the crazy Castaneda family, who seem to have a mysterious influence over him. Alton soon finds himself intrigued by his uncle, by the game of bridge, and especially by the pretty and shy Toni Castaneda. As the summer goes on, he struggles to figure out what it all means, and ultimately to figure out the meaning of his own life. Through Alton’s wry observations, Louis Sachar explores the disparity between what you know and what you think you know. With his incomparable flair and inventiveness, he examines the elusive differences between perception and reality—and inspires readers to think and think again.
The Devil's Tickets: A Vengeful Wife, a Fatal Hand, and a New American Age
Gary M. Pomerantz - 2009
As the game intensifies, Myrtle complains that Jack is a “bum bridge player.” For such insubordination, he slaps her hard in front of their stunned guests and announces he is leaving. Moments later, sobbing, with a Colt .32 pistolin hand, Myrtle fires four shots, killing her husband.The Roaring 1920s inspired nationwide fads–flagpole sitting, marathon dancing, swimming-pool endurance floating. But of all the mad games that cheered Americans between the wars, the least likely was contract bridge. As the Barnum of the bridge craze, Ely Culbertson, a tuxedoed boulevardier with a Russian accent, used mystique, brilliance, and a certain madness to transform bridge from a social pastime into a cultural movement that made him rich and famous. In writings, in lectures, and on the radio, he used the Bennett killing to dramatize bridge as the battle of the sexes. Indeed, Myrtle Bennett’s murder trial became a sensation because it brought a beautiful housewife–and hints of her husband’s infidelity–from the bridge table into the national spotlight. James A. Reed, Myrtle’s high-powered lawyer and onetime Democratic presidential candidate, delivered soaring, tear-filled courtroom orations. As Reed waxed on about the sanctity of womanhood, he was secretly conducting an extramarital romance with a feminist trailblazer who lived next door.To the public, bridge symbolized tossing aside the ideals of the Puritans–who referred derisively to playing cards as “the Devil’s tickets”–and embracing the modern age. Ina time when such fearless women as Amelia Earhart, Dorothy Parker, and Marlene Dietrich were exalted for their boldness, Culbertson positioned his game as a challenge to all housebound women. At the bridge table, he insisted, a woman could be her husband’s equal, and more. In the gathering darkness of the Depression, Culbertson leveraged his own ballyhoo and naughty innuendo for all it was worth, maneuvering himself and his brilliant wife, Jo, his favorite bridge partner, into a media spectacle dubbed the Bridge Battle of the Century. Through these larger-than-life characters and the timeless partnership game they played, The Devil’s Tickets captures a uniquely colorful age and a tension in marriage that is eternal.From the Hardcover edition.