Beavis and Butt-head give us their view of the world from A to Z in their own version of an encyclopedia--just in time for Christmas. Illustrated.

    The perfect book for the Nana of today, it will make you laugh, it will make you cry...it will make you want to run out and buy something nice for your grandchild!

    Iconoclast. Apostate. Drunk. Many words have been used to describe Doug Stanhope, but rarely has “hopeful” been one of them. However, heading into 2016, Stanhope peered through the apocalyptic fog and saw a forecast that was more rainbows than acid rain: His first book was set for release, his new stand-up special was in the can, and he was about to film a television pilot with his friend and confidant Johnny Depp. The sharks of Hollywood were circling, and Stanhope’s pockets were filled with chum. The only thing that could stop Doug was himself, and that’s exactly what he did.First came the booze, then came the pills, then came the stripper, and then, Doug came. A tryst aboard a cruise ship leaves him literally and figuratively adrift when his scorned wife, Bingo, reveals she is in love with another man: a jug-sippin’, guitar-pickin’ hobo. A simple, black-out fling turns out to be a pebble tossed into the lake of you-know-what named 2016, and in No Encore for the Donkey, Stanhope traces the resulting rings.Written and performed by Stanhope, his third memoir follows the veteran comedian on a quest to save his marriage, his wife, and eventually his wife’s life. Our hero's journey finds Stanhope cuddling with Johnny Depp in his Los Angeles mansion, receiving some much-needed TLC from Marilyn Manson, and - most daunting - building a new hour of comedy in the rusted-out hellscapes of post-industrial America.Equal parts love letter, road romp, and harrowing condemnation of the failures of America’s mental health care system, No Encore for the Donkey is a hilarious and heartbreaking account of a man balancing on the edge of damnation. With Bingo in a coma and Trump about to be elected, Stanhope sifts through the ruins of his own personal cataclysm in order to answer the big questions: What does it mean to love someone when you can’t love yourself? What is the point of success if you have no one to share it with? And is the end of the world BYOB?

    He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.

    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

    Packed with enough jokes to fill a whole new series, "Mock the Week: This Year's Book! "is a colourful riot of near-the-knuckle humour; the perfect gift for the show's devoted fans this Christmas. Categories include:UNLIKELY DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS: Fart (noun) - expulsion of trapped methane from the anus, possibly the funniest thing ever.UNLIKELY AGONY AUNT LETTERS: Dear Agony Aunt, I keep getting dangerous advice from hugely unqualified people - what do you suggest I do?CARDS YOU NEVER SEE IN A NEWSAGENT'S WINDOW: Child Minder Available - He may be small, but he's rock hard.UNLIKELY OBITUARIES: Died suddenly and peacefully on an electric chair at the New York State Penitentiary.UNNERVING THINGS TO HEAR IN A MEDICAL EXAM: 'So how bad is this premature . . . eeearrgh!'UNSUCCESSFUL JOB APPLICATIONS: You must hire me, before I kill again!

    Well, technically more of a midriff crisis, if he’s honest. Still, the Dad-bod is ‘in’ these days, isn’t it?He needs a girlfriend. But even though he's constantly surrounded by women, he can't seem to escape from the friend-zone slammer.Keeping the kids alive and entertained, working all hours, and then spending half your income on shopping, aren’t easy things to deal with.Trying to find love and happiness is even harder. Those dreams of ‘happy ever after’ seem like an unreachable utopia. But that hasn’t stopped him trying.Will Danny ever find his special someone? Or will he live out his remaining decades in dismal celibacy? What if he’s been looking in all the wrong places? What if love is right around the corner and he doesn’t even realise?Dad lit at its cynical best - hilariously relatable.

    You have access to so much information - but where do you start and what is actually useful?! This particular book takes you right back to formula basics; exactly what a formula is, how to create one and what formulas can do. Then you'll learn about using functions in your formulas, a useful Excel feature which is designed to make your life easier. It will give you the starting blocks that you need in order to present and make sense of a spreadsheet in a quick and easy way that will give your confidence and career a boost. Formulae include: - Basic Arithmetic - SUM - IF - AND/OR - COUNT / COUNTA - AVERAGE / MAX / MIN - VLOOKUP / HLOOKUP - Bonus - Validation

    

    i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTTISH, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, THE UNEMPLOYED PUB GOING DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS WHO HAVE HAD A MORE THAN CAMEO MENTION/APPEARANCE IN THE NOVEL, PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPING: ITALIANS. If you have got this far, then allow me to enlighten you about a secret so great that the general public has no idea about but every government in the world knows and they are involved in a consistent cover up to keep the horrors from you.. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. A decade ago one of the most fearsome of these beings 'The Englishman,' was banished from our plane of existence by a weeping Tony Blair who cut the throat of a small child in a necromantic energy ritual to do so. With such a price paid, the question has to be asked ... just how serious a threat has arisen from the Ethereal world that the British government's only option is to bring back the Englishman to save us!!!! Set in 2012 in the lead up to the US election ... welcome to the twisted world of Mad Dog and The Englishman. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.

    

    Good for readers in grades 1-3. Tyler has a monster called Eddie! He is a perfect monster at home- he is well mannered, helps Tyler practice his soccer skills and even cleans the house. But in public, it's a different matter! Eddie farts in public and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Not at all! Although Tyler pleads with him to stop, Eddie won't listen. It all ends in a way Tyler couldn't have imagined!

    

    From shopping, to even getting information on flight times, to even tracking when to walk your dog, Alexa can do this. With over 23,000 skills and more being developed each day, Alexa is here to stay and is here to help you. But what can you do with Alexa? What are some of the abilities of Alexa that you can engage in, some that you can use to truly benefit yourself and others? Well, you’re about to find out. Here is a preview of what you'll learn: All of the different Echo devices and what they entail Various tips on how to use them all Tips to use the various features, including shopping Troubleshooting tips in order to have the best Amazon Echo experience Why you might consider getting one over another The capabilities of Alexa, including a whole slew of various things you can inquire from Alexa A comprehensive list of 1001 things to do with Alexa, including valuable tips and tricks You can become the Echo master that you know you can be, and this book is just the beginning of it all. With this, you’ll be able to control your Echo in the way that it’s meant to be, in the ways that you want it to be, and the different natures of this. Become the person that you want to be today, and make sure that you learn about your Echo, since you truly won’t regret it the moment you begin to use it, and you’ll master it even more with every interaction.

    She's never short of advice, a kind word and a cup of tea (making sure to scald the teapot first, of course).Bring the coat anyway. If it's too hot you can take it off.Comedian Colm O'Regan explores the phenomenon of the Irish Mammy and what she might say about everything from the 'new mass' to the cardinal sin of not owning a cough bottle and the importance of airing clothes properly. The global influence of the Irish Mammy, through history, science, politics and literature, is undeniable. Did you know, for instance, that Hamlet had an Irish Mammy?So if you're an Irish Mammy, have one, know one or suspect you might be turning into one, this book will act as your guide. But be aware that though this book might think it knows it all, it doesn't, only Mammy knows it all.