At the perpetual age of 650, this is really no longer an option. The Full Moon Event Paulie Vergen is a Vampire living the daily grind of life until a fateful day when a newly infected Werewolf landed on his doorstep. All Paulie wanted was peace and quiet, but life didn't often seem to care about his plans. He's now faced with helping the poor Werewolf navigate through the Underworld in order to find the help that he needs. Bob the Zombie Bob is a Zombie who was just going about his business when a band of thieves stole his hand so that they could make a batch of Elfagra in the Upperworld. While it's bad enough that they've stolen Bob's hand for such a purpose, it comes to the Zombie's attention that if the bad guys use the wrong technique it could cause a cosmic rift that will spell the real death of Bob...not just the long, drawn out one that's part of being a Zombie. Gappy's Gadgets Gappy Whirligig is an industrious Gnome who has yet to reach the Age of Tinkering. In a flash, Gappy's life flips upside down, leaving him to make the decision to either strike out on his own or become a 42-year-old foster child. Gappy demonstrates his industrious spirit as he leaves Hubintegler's rules and regulations behind and instead seeks to make his mark in the seedy town of Planoontik.These stories get their influence from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Robert Asprin's Myth Adventures, Monty Python, and countless other comedic mediums. This omnibus edition includes the first four books in the Tales from the Land of Ononokin series. You'll get wizards, vampires, werewolves, dwarves, elves, gnomes, orcs, ogres, giants, gorgans, humans, trolls, zombies, and more ... and it's all set in a fantastical world that will keep you giggling for weeks.

    When the god Anubis needed a friend, the universe sent him the most unlikely companion: a feisty little cat.Discover how the infamous five-thousand-year-old talking cat, Constantine of the Intern Diaries, became a permanent fixture in the life of Death.This fast-paced, action-packed Novella will have you turning the page and falling in love with the most unlikely of duos.

    Dave. So, we're pretty much doomed.The Chronicles of Dave collects two great Dave Hooper adventures in one volume. In A PROTOCOL FOR MONSTERS we get the real story of Super Dave's embiggening, not the drunken, drug addled lies he told us in EMERGENCE. And in A SOUL FULL OF GUNS we learn the origin story of the only human being capable of kicking Dave's ass – the super-powered Colonel Karin Varatchevksy. Sent by the Russian military to spy on the US, she might he only thing that saves it from the worst superhero ever.If you love your fantasy action ludicrously violent, and your heroes hilariously flawed, this collection is for you.

    Whether he’s stalking frogs through the bogs of Tomah, Wisconsin, playing four-kid baseball with his bothersome little brother and two favorite cousins, or sneaking into the theater to watch Saturday-afternoon Westerns, Benjamin is the kind of little kid who would have fallen in eagerly with the redoubtable Tom Sawyer.Traversing the nooks and crannies of kidhood, from ballfields to swimming holes, The Life and Times of the Last Kid Picked captures a time and a place in twentieth-century American life and celebrates the adventures and wanderlust that once made childhood such an exhilarating enterprise.

    I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster."

    How is love related to sex, and how is sex related to love--and do love and sex need to be related at all?*This book contains profanity and adult situations

    By Patricia Gray. Based on the classic by J.R.R. Tolkien.Cast: approximately 26. Variable number of hobbits and other inhabitants of Middle Earth. It's unusual for a modern work to become a classic so quickly, but Tolkien's "ring" stories, which began with The Hobbit, clearly are in this very special category. They stir the imagination and intellect of everyone they touch. Bilbo, one of the most conservative of all Hobbits, is asked to leave his large, roomy and very dry home in the ground in order to set off as chief robber in an attempt to recover an important treasure. It's the last thing that any sensitive Hobbit would want to do, but great benefit eventually results—not only for Bilbo but for all of the Hobbits who inhabit Middle Earth—and the hearts of those children and adults who continue to enjoy this kind of magic. Multiple simple sets. Approximate running time: 120 minutes.

    After their appearance on The Kayla Mangrabler talk show, they decided to go their separate ways and cause as much havoc as possible.  Jesus has been stuck at the craps table for three days, sipping vodka and Red Bull, completely missing the end of the world. But he is about to meet up with Death and go on a road trip that will test their resolve and their blood alcohol content. Meanwhile, an unlikely band of heroes are headed to Las Vegas to fight the Apocalypse. Creepy Chuzz and his one-armed, addict monkey Phil are flying there in an ice cream truck. Chuzz's best friend Leon plans to lend a hand, assuming he can escape the clutches of the insane Father Maniwhore not to mention Pestilence, who has designs on the janitor's bathtub-LSD-addled brain. Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hordes of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hellbent on delivering a Cease and Desist order to Lucifer himself. They'd better hurry, because the Devil is rising in the desert, and he is hungry to start the Apocalypse that his son could not. But only if he can get it on with his giant floating glory hole.

    This is how I planned to spend my fortieth birthday. A mercurial milestone page turning where life should be getting easier. I will not let today get me down even with being tossed back into the cesspool of dating by a cheating ex-husband.“Tra-la-la, forty will be my new twenty-five,” or so I thought until the hottest man on the planet appears through a portal door in my kitchen. Introducing a sultry vampire, a stunningly beautiful Goddess and a pointy-eared alien into the delusional delirium spewing from his luscious lips.“Shayden Reigh, you’re the next contestant on This is Your Life. You’re our new queen and you must save the land of Erigate.”The land of what with the who? These people are speaking but I’m not comprehending what they’re selling.I, Shayden Reigh, armed with nothing more than a smart mouth, sassy wit, a cocky cat who hates me have no clue what in h-e-double hockey sticks I’m doing. But they say I must prepare to fight.The Gods have chosen, armed me with new magic and assigned an ego-driven hot guardian named Luke, who insists only I can tip the scale to victory and save his precious world.No pressure there, right?Magic is real, different realms exist and I’m the most powerful witch in the universe.The Gods set me, a newly single mom, on the path to the throne but I must figure out how to save it first.

    Musical. STINKFOOT is an absurdist musical written by former Bonzo Dog Band frontman Vivian Stanshall (1943-1995) and his wife Ki Longfellow-Stanshall for their Old Profanity Showboat in Bristol. The musical was performed in December 1985 but has not been published before. The Sea Urchin edition will contain the script of the musical, lyrics and artwork by Vivian Stanshall, photos of the Bristol performances and an introduction by Ki Longfellow-Stanshall.

    His partner and mentor takes him to the Denver Zoo, thinking that it'll be a good training opportunity. Instead, they discover a deranged sorcerer has let loose a dragon from the Supernatural portion of a new exhibit called, "The Magical Zoo." With a crazied sorcerer and a pissed-off dragon on the loose, Ironspell must use his knowledge and his magic to stop both. Otherwise, Denver is in for some serious trouble. What's more, sorcerer has taken hostages and threatens to feed them to the werewolves in the Lycanthrope House. The problem is Ironspell isn't exactly a wizard -- he learns his spells by reading magazines like Popular Wizardry. Can Denver and the Denver Zoo survive Ironspell's attempts to save the day?

    Discworld is a flat planet, supported on the backs of four elephants, who in turn stand on the back of the great turtle A'Tuin as it swims majestically through space.

    

     Or so Oak Jones thought. He’s wanted on the Police Dinosaur Unit all his life. Now that he’s in, he’s discovered that training a Police Working Velociraptor is a lot harder than he ever imagined. And if he thought training would be difficult, living with a Velociraptor is a whole new level. Banshee can clear a six-foot fence like it was nothing, and he has a love for eating the neighborhood cats, which is putting Oak on the outs with his next-door neighbor, Christy Dao. But there is a reason for everything, and when Oak discovers why Banshee struggles, it breaks his heart. Terrible Lizard is a funny and endearing look at life with Banshee, a great working dinosaur, but one terrible lizard. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Officer Hendricks sat at the temporary desk for training leads. He was without his sunglasses for the first time ever. His bright blue eyes burned with intensity. “I wanted to talk to you about Banshee,” he said. “I know it was rough yesterday,” I said, “but we’ve made good progress.” “You have, and it’s to be commended. You are the best handler here. But it’s a team effort, Oak. I called you in because I wanted you to be the first to hear that I intend to fail Banshee.” “What? No. There’s still two weeks left.” “Less than two weeks left. And this isn’t the kind of thing that gets fixed in less than two weeks.” “Give me a chance.” “Oak, you will be returned to your station until I can place you in Violent Offenders. Renato has given you a great review, and the captain there can’t wait to have you. Next year, you can re-apply. I cannot guarantee you that you will be accepted, but based on what I’ve seen over the past four weeks, I like your chances. You will definitely have my vote.” Officer Hendricks extended his hand to me, and I shook my head. “No. I refuse. Give me two weeks.” The open hand pinched Officer Hendricks’ nostrils. “You are not the first officer to work with Banshee. This was his third time in the course. Three strikes, and the raptor is gone.” “So that’s it? There’s nothing more that can be done?” “Not in my experience, Oak. I’m sorry.”

    A Dangerous Path: Tigerclaw is back and more dangerous than ever as the new leader of ShadowClan, but he is not the most terrifying enemy Fireheart must face as a new force sweeps through the woods.The Darkest Hour: ThunderClan's darkest hour is upon them and Fireheart, the warrior cat, must protect his clan from a threat unlike any the forest has ever seen, as the time comes for prophecies to unfold and heroes to rise.