Bad Cat: 244 Not-So-Pretty Kitties and Cats Gone Bad


Jim Edgar - 2004
    Edgy as in Bosco, the demonic Siamese with the out-of-focus eyes, razor-sharp fangs, and his own idea of Feng Shui. Or the half-shaved freak named Mr. Fliegel, who looks like a cross between a poodle and a lion. Mr. Fliegel shrugs and says, "Chicks dig me." Or Kato, resplendent in his Three Musketeers outfit: "One for all, blah blah blah . . . now just get me out of this @#%&ing costume!" Or Clark, whose hobby is eating other cats' food. Tina, who somehow always just misses the litter box . . . sucker. And the guilty-looking Clarence, caught with a Barbie doll in flagrante delicto. Clarence's defiant defense: "She was naked when I came in. . . ."Just as Kliban got us to think about the cat as something far more interesting than an innocuous house pet, and Suzy Becker taught us that cats possess a Buddha-like wisdom (together Cat and All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat have more than 2.6 million copies in print), Jim Edgar reveals yet another facet of the ever-mesmerizing animal. Brooding, deranged, antisocial, these are kitties with attitude and borderline personality problems—ah, but what hilarious fun it is to read about them. All 244 photographed in terrifying full color in their most unflattering moments, with a quote plus vital stats: name, breed, age, and hobby. Get to know them. Then see if you can ever forget them.

Pretty in Plaid


Jen Lancaster - 2009
    Using fashion icons of her youth to tell her hilarious and insightful stories, readers will meet the girl she used to be.Think Jen Lancaster was always "like David Sedaris with pearls and a super-cute handbag?" (Jennifer Coburn) Think again. She was a badge-hungry Junior Girl Scout with a knack for extortion, an aspiring sorority girl who didn't know her Coach from her Louis Vuitton, and a budding executive who found herself bewildered by her first encounter with a fax machine. In this humorous and touching memoir, Jen Lancaster looks back on her life-and wardrobe-before bitter was the new black and shows us a young woman not so very different than the rest of us.The author who showed us what it was like to wait in line at the unemployment office with a Prada bag, how living in the city can actually suck, and that losing weight can be fun with a trainer named Barbie and enough Ambien is ready to take you on a hilarious and heartwarming trip down memory lane in her shoes (and very pretty ones at that).

Skinny Women Are Evil: Notes of a Big Girl in a Small-Minded World


Mo'Nique - 2003
    Always have been, always will be. The only way I'll ever wear a size 6, or even a 16, is if you add them together. That's right: I wear a size 22. And I'm proud, because I wear it well. Hell, even Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder can see that! Such is the life—and largesse—of Mo'Nique, one of America's best-loved plus-size personalities. “I really wish I didn't have to write this book,” writes Mo'Nique. “But it appears I have no choice. Especially when BIG girls are still subjected to ridicule simply because we've been blessed with a few extra pounds.” In Skinny Women Are Evil, Mo'Nique strips away the stigma of being weight-challenged and introduces a new vocabulary in which F.A.T. is FABULOUS AND THICK and a woman who is “skinny” is just plain evil. Why? Because America gives them the comfortable airline seats, the fashionable clothes, and the lead roles in the Hollywood blockbusters. So how can a F.A.T. girl learn to operate in the it's-a-small-world after all? In this hilarious, heartwarming book, women of all sizes, shapes, and colors can benefit from Mo'Nique's Fat Girls' Survival Tips, a handy Thin-O-Meter, and a generous portion of advice about dating, eating, dressing, undressing, and much more. Skinny Women Are Evil is Mo'Nique's testament to living large and loving it. So go on, dig in!

Goodbye, Again: Essays, Reflections, and Illustrations


Jonny Sun - 2021
    The pieces range from long meditations on topics like loneliness and being an outsider, to short humor pieces, conversations, and memorable one-liners.Jonny's honest writings about his struggles with feeling productive, as well as his difficulties with anxiety and depression will connect deeply with his fans as well as anyone attempting to create in our chaotic world. It also features a recipe for scrambled eggs that might make you cry.

Morbid Curiosity: The Disturbing Demises of the Famous and Infamous


Alan W. Petrucelli - 2009
    Just think about the last time you slowed down as you passed the scene of a car accident. When a public figure bites the dust, the curiosity only increases. From Attila the Hun to Marie Antoinette, from Heath Ledger to Anna Nicole Smith, the deaths of the rich and famous spark endless speculation and tabloid fodder. Their lives-and deaths-are grave matters.

Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid


Denis Leary - 2008
    In Why We Suck, Dr. Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin--basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. "Sure it's just a celebrity type of thing--they only gave it to me because I'm famous," Leary explains. "But it's legal and it means I get to say I'm a doctor--just like Dr. Phil." In Why We Suck, Leary's famously smart style and sardonic wit have found their fullest and fiercest expression yet. Zeroing in on the ridiculous wherever he finds it, Leary unravels his Irish Catholic upbringing, the folly of celebrity, the pressures of family life, and the great hypocrisy of politics with the same bright, savage, and profane insight he brought to his critically acclaimed one-man shows No Cure for Cancer and Lock 'n Load, and his platinum-selling song, "Asshole." Proudly Irish American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are penetrating social commentary with no holds barred. Leary's book will find wide appeal among people who want to laugh out loud or find a guide who matches their view of what's wrong in America and the world-at-large; and fans of his one-man shows, his many movies, and Rescue Me, Leary's Golden Globe and Emmy-nominated television show. Why We Suck is the latest salvo from one of America's most original and biting comic satirists.

Scrappy Little Nobody


Anna Kendrick - 2016
    Forever. But here’s the thing about crazy: It. Wants. Out.” In Scrappy Little Nobody, she invites readers inside her brain, sharing extraordinary and charmingly ordinary stories with candor and winningly wry observations.With her razor-sharp wit, Anna recounts the absurdities she’s experienced on her way to and from the heart of pop culture as only she can—from her unusual path to the performing arts (Vanilla Ice and baggy neon pants may have played a role) to her double life as a middle-school student who also starred on Broadway to her initial “dating experiments” (including only liking boys who didn’t like her back) to reviewing a binder full of butt doubles to her struggle to live like an adult woman instead of a perpetual “man-child.”Enter Anna’s world and follow her rise from “scrappy little nobody” to somebody who dazzles on the stage, the screen, and now the page—with an electric, singular voice, at once familiar and surprising, sharp and sweet, funny and serious (well, not that serious).

Where the Hell Am I? Trips I Have Survived


Ken Levine - 2011
    It’s a world of craziness, lost reservations, the “Master Bait & Tackle Shop”, Pet Jacuzzis, Pompeii pornography, the Electric Chair beauty salon, Cowboy poetry gatherings, strips searches, a Cannabis festival, the “Miss Swamp Buggy” beauty contest, cancelled flights, tattooed Santa, the “Shrub Guy”, an Iranian comic, free dwarf mice, and Hitler’s town car on display in a Las Vegas casino. After reading Ken Levine’s hilarious and instructive excursions, you’ll be on the phone to your travel agent, either booking or canceling your next trip.

Attack of the Flickering Skeletons: More Terrible Old Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of


Stuart Ashen - 2017
    You will probably wish you still didn’t.YouTube sensation Stuart Ashen is back with his second instalment of terrible old computer games you’ve probably never heard of... because what the world needs right now is to know exactly how bad Domain of the Undead for the Atari 8-bit computers was.Attack of the Flickering Skeletons is even bigger than the original Terrible Old Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of – this second excavation of gaming’s buried past will not only unearth more appalling excuses for digital entertainment, but also feature guest contributors and several special interest chapters not based around single specific games.These are NOT the games you’ve heard of a million times in YouTube videos. This is a compilation of truly obscure and dreadful games. Dripping with wry humour and featuring the best, worst graphics from the games themselves, this book encapsulates the atrocities produced in the days of tight budgets and low quality controls.These are even more appalling games that leaked from the industry’s tear ducts, taken down from the dusty shelves of history by the man who has somehow made a living by sticking rubbish on a sofa and talking about it.

That's a Fact, Jack!


Harry Bright - 2006
    Some of the facts are funny. Some are surprising. And some are just plain weird. But all of them are true—and irresistibly fascinating!You'll find information on virtually every subject under the sun, including: Philosophy: On February 8, 2000, the meaning of life was auctioned on eBay. The winning bid was $3.26. Popular Culture: Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. Science: Dolly the sheep—the first cloned mammal—was named after country singer Dolly Parton. Sex: The largest human cell is the female ovum. The smallest is the male sperm. Sports: The average lifespan of an NHL hockey puck is 7 minutes. Statistics: On average, women utter 7,000 words a day while men manage just over 2,000.

Tinder Nightmares


Unspirational - 2015
    The Instagram account of the same name has skyrocketed to popularity for its captivating—and sometimes titillating—ability to capture the real-life conversations between people who are looking to connect with that special someone. Tinder Nightmares is organized by theme, with chapters such as Bad English, Broetry, Strange Requests, Sneak Attacks, and more. This book explores everything from pickup lines to breakups, and all the moments that come in between. It’s the perfect gift for anyone who has ever suffered through online dating.

I'm Having More Fun Than You


Aaron Karo - 2009
    From Aaron Karo, stand-up comic and acclaimed author of Ruminations on College Life and Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, comes I’m Having More Fun Than You, an irreverent exploration of why guys embrace bachelorhood and love flying solo in their twenties and thirties.

If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor


Bruce Campbell - 2001
    I think you and I are going to get along just fine.Life is full of choices. Right now, yours is whether or not to buy the autobiography of a mid-grade, kind of hammy actor.Am I supposed to know this guy? you think to yourself.No, and that's exactly the point. Bookstores are chock full of household name actors and their high stakes shenanigans. I don't want to be a spoilsport, but we've all been down that road before.Case in point: look to your left - see that Judy Garland book? You don't need that, you know plenty about her already - great voice, crappy life. Now look to your right at the Charlton Heston book. You don't need to cough up hard-earned dough for that either. You know his story too - great voice, crappy toupee.The truth is that though you might not have a clue who I am, there are countless working stiffs like me out there, grinding away every day at the wheel of fortune.If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor is my first book, and I invite you to ride with me through the choppy waters of blue collar Hollywood.Okay, so buy the damned book already and read like the wind!Best, Bruce CampbellP.S. If the book sucks, at least there are gobs of pictures, and they're not crammed in the middle like all those other actor books.

Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist


Tim Federle - 2013
    You fought through War and Peace, burned through Fahrenheit 451, and sailed through Moby-Dick. All right, you nearly drowned in Moby-Dick, but you made it to shore—and you deserve a drink!A fun gift for barflies and a terrific treat for book clubs, Tequila Mockingbird is the ultimate cocktail book for the literary obsessed. Featuring 65 delicious drink recipes—paired with wry commentary on history's most beloved novels—the book also includes bar bites, drinking games, and whimsical illustrations throughout.Even if you don't have a B.A. in English, tonight you're gonna drink like you do. Drinks include:- The Pitcher of Dorian Grey Goose- The Last of the Mojitos- Love in the Time of Kahlua- Romeo and Julep- A Rum of One’s Own- Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margarita- Vermouth the Bell Tollsand more!

Tales from the Dad Side: Misadventures in Fatherhood


Steve Doocy - 2008
    Personally, I think the eye-catching cover shot of me in my pajamas is reason enough. (By the way, those are my real kids on the cover, and yes, those are my actual ankles. No, I'm not retaining water.)What you're holding in your hands is a very funny and sometimes remarkably poignant look at fathers, not from the mother's point of view or the child's, but from the dad's side. Which is why it's called Tales from the Dad Side.It's filled with stories of what it's like to be a dad and a son, from a child's first day of kindergarten to the awkward sex talk and right up to the day the always-practical dad tries to pay for college with bonus miles. I was there for every landmark in my children's lives, except the day I was on the riding lawn mower and missed my son's first words, which my wife insists were “trust fund.”As children get older, the lessons of the father get harder, like teaching my son how to shave just as my father taught me, with a rusty double-edged safety razor. At the end of my dad's lesson, I emerged from the bathroom nicked and gouged, looking like an extra from a Quentin Tarantino film. My more civilized son is a Norelco man. With my high-school-age daughters, I promised them a day on which I'd take them anywhere and do anything with them they wanted, expecting them to ask for dinner and a movie; I was horrified when they told me they wanted all of us to get manicures and pedicures together. That was not the answer I was expecting; it was like discovering Lou Dobbs was an illegal alien.Over the course of raising three children, I have learned with my wife that fathers are different from mothers. That could be the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next forty days called for a 20 percent chance of light rain.The truth is, fatherhood is like Wikipedia: some parts based in fact, others just made up along the way. And while bookstores are filled with tales of mothers, their children and families, there are few from the dad's side. Now, as a public service, I'm doing my part to right this wrong.I sincerely hope this answers your questions. If perhaps it's not exactly your cup of tea, I bet you've got a father or mother in your life who'd like the stone-cold truth about dads. Besides, for the same money, you can either put three gallons of gas in your car or take home this book, which has a highway rating of 29 smiles an hour.Steve Doocy