With twenty-five tales of intriguing, shocking and incredible Christmas incidents, the British public will finally appreciate the sacrifices made and the challenges faced by the unsung heroes of the NHS.Twas The Nightshift Before Christmas will be fully illustrated (as tastefully as possible) and will delight all of Adam’s fans throughout the festive period of Christmas 2019 and for many years to come.

    All her life, Eden Sher has suffered from dyscommunicatia (n. the inability to articulate a feeling through words.). Then, one day, she decided that, whenever she had an emotion for which she had no word, she would make one up. The result of this is The Emotionary, which lives at the intersection of incredibly funny and very useful. Chock full of words you always wanted/never knew you needed, often accompanied by illustrations of hilarious and all-too-familiar situations, The Emotionary will be a cherished tool for you or the world-class feelings-haver in your life.   At long last, all your complicated feelings can be put into words, so you can recognize them for what they are, speak their names aloud, and move on. Finally!From the Hardcover edition.

    As a bumbling, ironically talentless, self-absorbed personality (a young Gilda Radner, if you will), she offers up a vlog of helpful advice every week on her widely popular YouTube channel. For the first time ever, Miranda is putting her advice to paper in this easy-to-follow guide, illustrated by Miranda herself. In it, you’ll find instructions on everything: how to get a boyfriend (wear all black and carry a fishing net), to dressing for a date (sequins and an orange tutu), to performing magic (“Magic is Lying”), and much, much more! Miranda-isms abound in these self-declared lifesaving pages, and if you don’t like it…well, as Miranda would say…“Haters, back off!”

    But there was only one person who knew Joan intimately, one person who the authorities would call when she got a little out of hand. Her daughter and best friend, Melissa. Joan and Melissa Rivers had one of the most celebrated mother-daughter relationships of all time. If you think Joan said some outrageous things to her audiences as a comedian, you won’t believe what she said and did in private. Her love for her daughter knew no bounds—or boundaries, apparently. ("Melissa, I acknowledge that you have boundaries. I just choose to not respect them.") In The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief and Manipulation, Melissa shares stories (like when she was nine months old and her parents delivered her to Johnny Carson as a birthday gift), bon mots (“Missy, is there anything better than seeing a really good looking couple pushing a baby that looks like a Sasquatch who got caught in a house fire?”), and life lessons from growing up in the Rosenberg-Rivers household (“I can do tips and discounts and figure out the number of gay men in an audience to make it a good show. That’s all the math you’ll ever need.”). These were just the tip of the iceberg when it came to life in the family that Melissa describes as more Addams than Cleaver. And at the center of it all was a tiny blond force of nature. In The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief and Manipulation, Melissa Rivers relates funny, poignant and irreverent observations, thoughts, and tales about the woman who raised her and is the reason she considers valium one of the four basic food groups.

    Then again, maybe not. But to The Useless Information Society, any fact that passes its gasp-inducing, not-a-lot-of-people-know-that test merits inclusion in this fascinating but ultimately useless book... Did you know (or do you care)...- That fish scales are used to make lipstick?- Why organized crime accounts for ten percent of the United States's annual income?- The name of the first CD pressed in the United States?- The last year that can be written upside-down or right side-up and appear the same?- The shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar(R)?- How much Elvis weighed at the time of his death?- What the suits in a deck of cards represent?- How many Quarter Pounders can be made from one cow?- How interesting useless information can be?The Book of Useless Information answers these teasers and is packed with facts and figures that will captivate you--and anyone who shares your joy in the pursuit of pointless knowledge.

    Some sacrificed everything for love, while others met a cruel fate at the edge of an axman's blade. From the truth behind the supposed madness of King George to Queen Victoria's surprisingly daring taste in sculpture, Behind the Palace Doors ventures beyond the rumors to tell the unvarnished history of Britain's monarchs, highlighting the unique mix of tragedy, comedy, romance, heroism, and incompetence that has made the British throne a seat of such unparalleled fascination.Featuring: - stories covering every monarch, from randy Henry VIII to reserved Elizabeth II - historical myths debunked and surprising "Did you know . . . ?" anecdotes - four family trees spanning every royal house, from the Tudors to the Windsors

    . . and now, they need her help.

    And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    Silly, shocking, weird, hilariously funny—and outrageously true—the short anecdotes inside his anthologies of human stupidity are culled from print, online, and broadcast media from all over the world. Inside Stupid Ancient History, Gregory chronicles Greek philosophers, Roman conquerors, and historic mythconceptions, including:  — To fight off Roman ships in 300 BC, Carthaginians catapulted live snakes at them.— The Athenian lawmaker Draco died of suffocation when gifts of cloaks were showered upon him by grateful citizens at an Aegina theater in 620 BC. — In ancient Rome, long before the advent of the Christian Bible, Roman men swore to “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” by placing their right hand on their testicles. It is from this ritual that we derived the term “testimony.” —  Of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, The Temple of Artemis in Ephesus burned to the ground in 356 BC. The arsonist was executed; and to make sure his wish for everlasting fame wouldn’t come true, it was ordered that his name be stricken from all records and never mentioned again. But people will talk. Despite all efforts, his name leaked, and Herostratus is remembered as one of the most notorious firebugs in history.

    It wasn’t drugs, alcohol, or sex: it was film. After moving to Los Angeles, Oswalt became a huge film buff (or as he calls it, a sprocket fiend), absorbing classics, cult hits, and new releases at the famous New Beverly Cinema. Silver screen celluloid became Patton’s life schoolbook, informing his notion of acting, writing, comedy, and relationships.Set in the nascent days of LA’s alternative comedy scene, Silver Screen Fiend chronicles Oswalt’s journey from fledgling stand-up comedian to self-assured sitcom actor, with the colorful New Beverly collective and a cast of now-notable young comedians supporting him all along the way.

    For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours.In his #1 New York Times bestselling book, SeinLanguage, Jerry Seinfeld has captured on the page his views on topics ranging from Raisinettes to relationships, from childhood to cop shows, and from parents to power suits. This must-have book for all fans--and who isn't a fan?--remains available in both paperback and hardcover.

    But where once we settled down to admire the 'top-quality original songwriting' that the contest was inaugurated to showcase, throughout the long post-ABBA decades Eurovision has come to entertain us for all the wrong reasons: we chortle at its magnificent foolishness, its stubborn reinforcement of the crudest national stereotypes, at a scoreboard shamelessly corrupted by cross-border friendship and hatred. And as post-modern connoisseurs of showbiz meltdown, our focus has shifted from the blandly competent winners to the spangled, hapless, table-propping losers, those left to wander the lonely, windswept summit of Mount Fiasco. The gold standard of farcical failure, the benchmark of badness, to score nul points is to suffer international ignominy and find sympathetic understanding replaced by brutal guffaws. Remorseful of his own longstanding contributions to the latter chorus, yet darkly fascinated with those lives shadowed by the entertainment world's most grandiose humiliation, Tim Moore sets off to track down the thirteen Eurominstrels who have come and gone without troubling the scorers since Norway's Jahn Teigen twanged his silver braces and leapt splay-legged off the Palais des Congres stage in 1978. From Lisbon to Lithuania, from the Black Sea to the Baltic, Moore travels the continent to hear their extraordinary stories - 'poignant, ludicrous and heartwarming in almost equal measure' - recounting as he does so the no less improbable history of Eurovision itself, a towering cathedral of cheese that can nonetheless claim responsibility for keeping Norway out of the EU and catalysing the overthrow of a Portuguese dictatorship.

    Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, has been called a “cultural force,” a “fourth branch of government,” and “the most influential man in America.” In this pioneering biography, award-winning journalist Bruce Watson charts Stewart’s remarkable rise from a wise-cracking New Jersey comic to a powerful pundit hosting presidents and prime ministers, all with a smirk.

    easily as funny, as self-deprecating and as wordly-wise as The Moon's a Balloon by David Niven ... it's like Tom and Jerry written by a Cockney Roddy Doyle on Prozac. But funnier' GQ Online on Going Off Alarming 'Rattles along at the same delightful and dizzying pace as its predecessor ... Baker loves a tale told at his own expense and they come thick and fast. He writes like he speaks, with hyperactive garrulity and a rhetorical flourish ... there is something about Baker in full flow that is affirming' Daily Telegraph on Going Off Alarming Danny Baker is a national treasure with a well-documented - thanks to the recent eight-part BBC TV adaptation - and colourful life. For over a quarter of a century he has amused and entertained audiences on both radio and television. Beginning his career at the age of 15 in a small record shop in the London's West End, Danny went on to become an acclaimed music journalist, and started his radio career on BBC GLR in 1989. With a unique take on life and a lot to say, Danny's latest book is full of his trademark warmth, wit and insight.

    But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab--that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day. Hurdles such as: - I hate my horse. - Every job I've ever had is the worst job I've ever had. - He's not a doctor, a lawyer, or a prince. - I'll eat anything, as long as it's gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic. In an Adderall-induced flash of inspiration, Babe Walker has managed to create one of the most enjoyable, unforgettable memoirs in years.