Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    As Salomon journeys through his experiences in indie rock bands playing churches and events, he exposes why he dropped the label of "Christian" in order to truly minister. He challenges pervading mindsets and shows that an authentic Christian life reaches beyond the traditions of religion.

    Eyes fixed on a mysterious point in the air, they were mesmerized by something which was invisible to everyone else. What the girls said they saw--and heard--sent shock waves that are still reverberating today. The messages the four girls claimed to receive revealed a picture of a Catholic church in crisis and a world that faced an earth-shattering future that would unfold in their lifetime. The girls’ pronouncements about coming trouble in the church and world were met with fierce skepticism from the first. Some charged the girls with being possessed by demons (based on the girls’ strange physical poses and apparent levitation), and others claimed the girls were putting on an act (revealing their true colors when they chose ordinary married lives instead of the convent). There was also a third body of critics: those who believed that a group of girls on the cusp of adolescence in a remote and insular society conjured up a psychodrama which, fueled by the spotlight and mounting frenzy, gained a frightening life of its own. There was one other possibility--that the strange events in Garabandal, Spain actually did occur, and the girls received an apocalyptic warning for both the church and the modern world. The warning to the world included a prediction that a newly militant Russia would rise again. The prophecies of Garabandal also foretell a World-Wide Warning and a Global Miracle, whose purpose is to convince a world reeling from one catastrophe to the next that God exists. But the Warning and Miracle, dramatic as they sound, are not even the most unsettling of the messages. One night, the young girls dissolved into screams. During this so-called “Night of the Screams,” the girls say they were shown a tragic chastisement that would befall the entire world if the Warning and Miracle failed to trigger global change. As disquieting as those messages were, the most shocking message at Garabandal was for the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church. Why were the messages of Garabandal so effectively suppressed? Did it have to do with the fact that the messages presciently warned of coming scandal and turmoil in the Roman Catholic Church itself? Did a portal open between worlds on a Spanish mountaintop in that summer of 1961? And if so, who opened the door--an angel of God or an angel of darkness? Did a young girl's flight of fancy one summer night spin wildly out of control? Or was it a visitation from God? Now that the “girls” at the center of this drama are 60-year-old women, should their claims be discredited or re-examined? Are the apparitions bogus or fast-approaching their fulfillment? If the events are false, Garabandal is a fascinating and perhaps tragic human interest story with several explanations. If the events and warnings are true--then what do we do? By the end of this book, readers can judge whether the visions of four young seers on a mountaintop in Spain were historical fact, a devilish fraud, or the creative confusion of four girls who would spend the rest of their lives trying to escape a human tragicomedy that they themselves had produced.

    Star of BBC's Supersizers and hugely popular Times columnist's works through his anger about everything from dogs to cycle helmets.

    In the early Seventies, Dave Bennun's family transplanted themselves from Swindon to the wilds of Kenya. His father, who was a doctor, had lived in Africa before (but had felt it expedient to leave when the South African government realised he was carting explosives around in the boot of his car for the ANC). But for Dave, Kenya was bemusingly new. It would be his home for the next 16 years. In Kenya, the childhood memoir takes on a surreal tone. On the way home from school, closed because a pair of lions are padding around the playground, Dave is mugged by baboons. Meet Dave's favourite pet Achilles, the almost indestructible dog! Find out about 'Nairobi snow' - and the national radio station that only has three records. And read about Dave and his Dad spending happy Sunday afternoons being chased by a herd of elephants. Enchantingly funny, Tick Bite Fever is a tale of the fading innocence of childhood that is miles ahead of the competition.

    The book also includes some of her best fiction pieces.

    Learn the importance of obedience to God's Word in planting seed for finances.

    It will cheer up even the most miserable of old gits.

    Celebrating life with gusto and in inimitable style, he describes a journey fraught with discomfort, mishap, ecstasy, disillusionment, discovery and astonishing human encounters; a journey that would be acceptable madness in a white man but is regarded by the author s fellow Africans as an extraordinary and inexplicable expenditure of time and money.As Sihle's famous counterpart Paul Theroux, author of Dark Star Safari, comments, Dark Continent, My Black Arse is uniquely an African travel story: the story of 'an African travelling on his own money and motivation, from one end of Africa to the other'. An inspiring story, it carries the following warning: Reading this book might cause you to resign from your boring job, leave your nagging / ungrateful / insecure partner, stop merely existing and start living the life you have always longed and yearned for.

    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    Drawing from seven years of historical research, Max du Preez has collected the richest and most extraordinary tales that he found.There's the story of the Khoikhoi chief who was kidnapped and taken to England in 1610. And of King Moshoeshoe's mercy towards the cannibals who had eaten his beloved grandfather, because killing them would defile his grandfather's grave. There's the story of Boer War general Christiaan de Wet and his brother Piet, who joined the British forces and fought his own people. The stories span the centuries, up to recent times, and take in the variety of South Africa's regions and cultures.The result is a fascinating mosaic of our rich historical heritage. There are plenty of academic histories of South Africa, but this is a book that the general reader will enjoy, and it will appeal to tourists too. It's researched with an investigative journalist's thoroughness, and written in the easy, accessible style that has made Max du Preez's writing so popular.

    He was dead before he hit the ground. One moment he was sitting on his horse. The next moment he was somewhere else--somewhere beyond description. He had moved on. Without travel, transport, angelic assistance, or the passage of time he was with Jesus, where he discovered firsthand that heaven is a real place and God is a real person and that death is not the end but the beginning of true life. In The Day I Died, Vest touches on the transformation from death to heaven and some of the benefits of finding oneself in that place, including:The unforgettable awareness of God’s presence The sense of His immeasurable love The freedom from the constraints of time The ease of communication with the Lord The peace and security that attend His presence The understanding that prayers are instantly heard by God.

    From the “Sex Papers” Jen drew as a four-year-old when her mom was pregnant with her younger sister, to her sole teenage act of rebellion: going to church. “We’re very disappointed in you,” her nonreligious parents said. When she was sixteen Jennifer fell in love with Jon Bon Jovi and felt certain that if he just met her, he’d feel exactly the same way. They met all right. But that’s not what happened.At twenty-three Jen married her college sweetheart and divorced him at twenty-six after he’d had an affair. Affairs happen every day. What doesn’t happen every day? The wife and the girlfriend meeting at a bar, discovering they liked each other, and then confronting Jen’s husband that same night.The true stories contained here are smart, uproarious and utterly relatable. Told chronologically and chock full of truths, You’re Not Pretty Enough provides an example of how to be comfortable in your own skin and ultimately live a full life (even if you screw up, royally, along the way).PRAISE FOR YOU'RE NOT PRETTY ENOUGH:An unvarnished look at the highs and lows of growing up and growing into ourselves. Soul-baring, brave, and genuinely hilarious, Jennifer Tress is that best friend we all want to have in our corner. Cathy Alter, author of Up for Renewal: What Magazines Taught Me About Love, Sex, and Starting OverJennifer Tress is a funny bunny with loads of tales to spin for your reading pleasure. Buy her book and enjoy the ride. Sara Benincasa, author AgorafabulousSmart, hilarious, beautiful, and from Cleveland?! Bon Jovi really blew it when he let Jennifer Tress just walk out of his life like that. Lucky for you, dear reader, you can learn from Jon's mistakes and welcome Jennifer into your life with open arms courtesy of her excellent new book, which will have you laughing, crying, and ready to beat the crap out of Jon Bon Jovi if he ever breaks her heart again! In fact, if you get the chance, I say you take a couple swings at him anyway. For Jennifer. Dave Hill, performer, Clevelander, author Tasteful NudesTress' writing sings on the page, giving the reader the sense that you're sharing stories with your best friends at a sleepover. From teenage-feuled lust for Bon Jovi to the particularly cruel comments given to her from a former love, Tress will have you laughing and cringing in solidarity. Kambri Crews, author, Burn Down the GroundJennifer Tress is ebullient and hilarious and fearless. Read this book. Mandy Stadtmiller, deputy editor of xoJane

    His guitarist is trying to get them all killed. Fans are stealing his things. Mechanics are rebuking his lifestyle. Even his own fragile, uptight psyche is antagonizing him. But despite having every odd stacked against him, Project 86's frontman is living the dream and loving it. In It's All Downhill From Here, Andrew Schwab chronicles the highs and lows, the struggles and triumphs of this underground, independent rock band's rocky road to stardom. From a hostage situation on their first day on the road, to a drummer's crushed hand, a haunting female fan and an '80s rocker's halitosis problem, Schwab tells it like it is, with biting wit and rock star charm. This insider's look at the real life of a rock band not only reaffirms that everyone's human, but makes you hungry for a dream of your own to chase after.