Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.   As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

    I also wrote it from the viewpoint of someone who has discovered many silver linings in the long, windy, bumpy road of recovering from Cptsd. I felt encouraged to write this book because of thousands of e-mail responses to the articles on my website that repeatedly expressed gratitude for the helpfulness of my work. An often echoed comment sounded like this: At last someone gets it. I can see now that I am not bad, defective or crazy…or alone! The causes of Cptsd range from severe neglect to monstrous abuse. Many survivors grow up in houses that are not homes – in families that are as loveless as orphanages and sometimes as dangerous. If you felt unwanted, unliked, rejected, hated and/or despised for a lengthy portion of your childhood, trauma may be deeply engrained in your mind, soul and body. This book is a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life. It is copiously illustrated with examples of my own and my clients’ journeys of recovering. This book is also for those who do not have Cptsd but want to understand and help a loved one who does. This book also contains an overview of the tasks of recovering and a great many practical tools and techniques for recovering from childhood trauma. It extensively elaborates on all the recovery concepts explained on my website, and many more. However, unlike the articles on my website, it is oriented toward the layperson. As such, much of the psychological jargon and dense concentration of concepts in the website articles has been replaced with expanded and easier to follow explanations. Moreover, many principles that were only sketched out in the articles are explained in much greater detail. A great deal of new material is also explored. Key concepts of the book include managing emotional flashbacks, understanding the four different types of trauma survivors, differentiating the outer critic from the inner critic, healing the abandonment depression that come from emotional abandonment and self-abandonment, self-reparenting and reparenting by committee, and deconstructing the hierarchy of self-injuring responses that childhood trauma forces survivors to adopt. The book also functions as a map to help you understand the somewhat linear progression of recovery, to help you identify what you have already accomplished, and to help you figure out what is best to work on and prioritize now. This in turn also serves to help you identify the signs of your recovery and to develop reasonable expectations about the rate of your recovery. I hope this map will guide you to heal in a way that helps you to become an unflinching source of kindness and self-compassion for yourself, and that out of that journey you will find at least one other human being who will reciprocally love you well enough in that way.

    In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" -- and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

    In his new book he zeros in on what motivates men and provides tips on how women can use that knowledge to get more of what they need out of their relationships, whether it's more help around the house, more of the right kind of attention in the bedroom, more money in the joint bank account, or more truth when it comes to the hard questions, such as: Are you committed to building a future together? Does my success intimidate you? Have you cheated on me? In Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man, Steve Harvey shares information on: How to Get the Truth Out of Your Man Tired of answers that are deceptive? Harvey lays out a three-tier, CIA-style of questioning that will leave your man no choice but to cut to the chase and deliver the truth. Dating Tips, Decade by Decade Whether you're in your twenties and just starting to date seriously, in your thirties and feeling the tick of the biological clock, or in your forties and beyond, Steve provides insight into what a man, in each decade of his life, is looking for in a mate. How to Minimize Nagging and Maximize Harmony at Home He said he'd cut the lawn on Saturday, and you may have been within reason to think that that meant Saturday before ten in the evening, but exploding at him is only going to ruin the mood for everyone, which means no romance. Steve shows you how to talk to your man in a way that moves him to action and keeps the peace. And there's much more, including Steve's candid answers to questions you've always wanted to ask men. Drawing on a lifetime of experience and the feedback women have shared with him in reaction to Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Harvey offers wisdom on a wealth of topics relevant to both sexes today. He also gets more personal, sharing anecdotes from his own family history. Always direct, often funny, and incredibly perceptive, media personality, comedian, philanthropist, and (finally) happily married husband, Steve Harvey proves once again that he is the king of relationships.

    Experience the awakening that hurled him through a nightmarish journey to the most inner core of his soul. Burrow inside an emotional abuser's head and find out why: he is so charming one minute and a raging manic the next - he blames you for everything - he belittles your feelings, opinions, or your accomplishments - he never seems to support you - he cuts you down in front of friends and family - he causes you to walk on eggshells - he is so angry so much of the time - he can't admit when he is wrong. Discover what Austin learned during his five years of recovery, along with the horror, that his three decade abusive lifestyle stemmed from events that happened as a young teenager, following the unexpected death of his father. Through great sorrow, came the ability to be transformed from the ashes of defeat to the type of cleansing and healing that not only renewed Austin's spirit, but allowed it to soar to new heights.The book answers the questions: how can a too-close relationship with mom affects him - what type of counseling works and which to avoid - how to tell if your mate is really changing or if it's time to bail on the relationship. There are several chapters dedicated to breaking free from abuse and getting help. The book hopes to encourage people stuck as an abuser or as being abused that it is possible to break free from abuse.

    The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.

    You can stop people pleasing and start setting boundaries. You can ask for what you need. You can love and be loved—without sacrifice—by breaking the codependency cycle.The Codependency Recovery Plan empowers you to have healthy, happy interdependent relationships. This actionable 5-step program is designed to help you get in touch with yourself, assert boundaries, and communicate confidently. You’ll be free to nurture true intimacy.The 5-steps to break the codependency cycle include: Step 1: Get in Touch with Your “Self”—Learn how to stand on your own two feet. Step 2: Prioritize Self-Care—Show yourself respect by caring for your mind and body. Step 3: Build Boundaries—Take a stand for what feels good to you in life and love. Step 4: Communicate Confidently—Open up about what you think, feel, and need to share with others. Step 5: Get intimate—Experience healthy and joyful connections. You can’t change your history with codependency—but you can take charge of your recovery. Starting now.

    You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

    Whitfield provides a clear and effective introduction to the basic principles of recovery. This book is a modern classic, as fresh and useful today as it was more than a decade ago when first published. Here, frontline physician and therapist Charles Whitfield describes the process of wounding that the Child Within (True Self) experiences and shows how to differentiate the True Self from the false self. He also describes the core issues of recovery and more. Other writings on this topic have come and gone, while Healing the Child Within has remained a strong introduction to recognizing and healing from the painful effects of childhood trauma. Highly recommended by therapists and survivors of trauma.

    . . but what about staying in love? Once the intense excitement of a new relationship starts to fade, you may think your only options are to somehow recapture that early magic or settle for a less than fulfilling love life. Now love, sex, and relationship expert Laura Berman, Ph.D., taps the latest scientific and metaphysical research to offer an inspiring alternative: a higher level of love beckoning you to move forward, not backward.Using the essential truth we’ve learned from the study of quantum physics—the fact that at our molecular core, each of us is simply a vessel of energy—Dr. Berman explains how you can use what’s happening in your inner world to create a level of passion, connection, and bliss in your relationship that you’ve never imagined possible. Drawing on her clinical practice and case studies as well as her personal journey, she guides you to: ·         Plot your unique energetic frequency of love with her Quantum Lovemap ·         Work consciously with the energy of your body, heart, and mind ·         Make four key commitments designed to raise your energetic profile ·         Bring your frequency into harmony with your partner’s so that you can grow together ·         Learn how to have Quantum Sex (which is every bit as good as it sounds)Quantum Love is the best possible experience of love, and it’s available to absolutely everyone, whether you’re seeking a mate, in a relationship that’s struggling, or just finding that love has turned lackluster through the stresses of life. You can’t go back to the honeymoon phase, but there is something so much better within your reach. Quantum Love lets you reach new heights of intimacy as you gain a fuller sense of purpose in life and love.

     Guys, let’s face it a serious breakup can suck! There is no one that is IMMUNE to experiencing a broken relationship. It literally feels as though your heart has been torn out of your chest. You can’t stop thinking about her, what you could, should or would do if you had another chance — even if the breakup occurred last week, or ten years ago. But the truth is… it’s OVER and she’s moved on! So what can YOU do about it? The Breakup Manual For Men was born out of real heartbreak, and an urgent necessity to get over the loss and pain of a serious breakup. In this powerful book, relationship coach for men, Andrew Ferebee has distilled the essentials of his own success and life-changing work with men who have been blindsided by breakups into an easy-to-follow strategy that you can devour in as little as a day. This is no ordinary relationship advice book. You will leave behind all confusion, pain and heartbreak as he leads you through how to truly “Overcome and Recover” so you can become stronger, attract new women and have the confidence to start living again in the shortest time possible. Andrew leaves no stone unturned. Everything has been tested and proven to work! The result — one easy-to-read book for men that reveals what you absolutely need to know. * Keys to experiencing acceptance of the breakup in a matter of weeks instead of months * Proven method to avoid the pain of seeing her move on and speed up the recovery process * How to trick your mind into ending the fantasy of you getting back together with her * 3 simple steps to regain your power so you no longer feel empty inside * The surprising truth behind why you would have lost her either way * Detailed strategies to handle social media after a breakup * Exactly how and what to do to accept the loss and release the pain * How the 5 stages of grief can help you cope with your emotions and accept where you are * The hard-science behind breakups and why you are going to thrive after the breakup * The real reason why you should wait before jumping back into another relationship * Demystifying the truth about why your ex has moved on and appears happy * Unique and overlooked ways to control your anger over your ex moving on * Life-changing secrets of getting clear about your breakup * The facts on how long it takes to get over a breakup and when to start dating again * Breakthrough solutions for suicidal thoughts and why you matter even without her * Andrew’s 5 “can’t miss” non-negotiable rules to avoid slipping back into old self-destructive thoughts and behaviours * A powerful 10 step weekly plan you can follow to see incredible things happen in your life again * Little known techniques for channelling your anger so you no longer feel like a victim * 6 ways to rebuild your life and improve it far beyond what it is now * Clear and straight-forward advice that will instantly help you re-discover your purpose * Fastest known way to recovery and how you know you are ready for a new relationship Ask yourself: Where will you be a week, a month or a year from now? Think about it.

    Simply put, the children of narcissist -- offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters -- share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist. The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways: for examples, physical self-loathing that takes form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Dr. Golomb tells us. With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores:-the nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel-stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs-why do many of our relationships seem to be "reruns" of the past -how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting -how anger must be acknowledge to be overcome-and, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed.Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions.

    Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:- We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.- We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.- We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.- We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.- We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."- We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

    Here, the bestselling author of Suddenly Sixty and Necessary Losses presents her life-affirming perspective on the joys, heartaches, difficulties, and possibilities of a grown-up marriage -- and no, that's not an oxymoron! Featuring interviews with married women and men, the findings of couples therapists, the truths offered by literature and movies, and a bemused exploration of her own marriage, Judith Viorst illuminates the issues couples struggle with from "I do" through "till death do us part." Examining marital rivalry, marital manners, marital sex (extramarital, too), marital fighting and apologies, what kids do for (and to) marriage, and the boredom and bliss of everyday married life, Viorst leaves no marital stone unturned. From the early years when we wonder "Who is this person?" and "What am I doing here?" to the realities of divorce, remarriage, and growing older (and old) together, Viorst offers insights and advice with honesty, humanity, and humor -- all the while recognizing how tough it is to be married and, when it works, how very precious it can be.

    You haven't been pushed or slapped. You haven't had to call the police. But something feels very, very wrong in your intimate relationship. You just can't put your finger on it. Victims of emotional abuse are often confused about their partner's behaviors. "Is this really abuse?" "Could it be my fault?" "Maybe it will change."  Your partner has a way of reinforcing your self-doubt, turning the tables on you to make you feel crazy, selfish, and unlovable. DOWNLOAD::Signs of Emotional Abuse: How to Recognize the Patterns of Narcissism, Manipulation, and Control in Your Love Relationship Emotional abuse may be hard to identify and understand, but it's as devastating to a relationship as physical abuse is. It can damage your self-esteem, sense of identify, and even your mental health. Your partner might use mind games, control, verbal abuse, and other narcissistic traits to keep you off balance and afraid.  He or she wants to keep you in a state of confusion and anxiety so you won't speak up or take control of your life. The first step toward improving your situation is knowing what you're dealing with. Once you recognize the signs of emotional abuse, you can create new boundaries and responses to your partner's behavior and make informed decisions about your life moving forward. Bestselling author Barrie Davenport will clear up the confusion about whether or not your partner’s behavior is really abuse. In Signs of Emotional Abuse , you'll learn: 9 common patterns of emotional abuse 125 specific emotionally abusive behaviors 7 critical questions to ask yourself about your abusive partner The next steps after you identify emotional abuse by your partner The best support resources to help you move forward Signs of Emotional Abuse will help you identify the covert tactics used by emotional abusers to help you quickly recognize them in your daily life.
 Would You Like To Know More? Gain clarity about your relationship so you can begin to take back control of your life! Scroll to the top of the page and select the buy now button.