In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles—such as. "It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at…Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case.Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.Flubbed headlines: "British Left Waffles On House Floor”Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room.Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a "VIP,” be on the lookout for a "Very Intoxicated Patient.”Comedian quips: "I wonder if deaf people have a sign for "Talk to the hand.’” --Zach GalifianakisSputtering sportscasters: "If only faces could talk.” --Pat SummerallAnd much, much more!

    Green Smoothies are a mix of greens, vegetables and flavorful fruits making you feel amazing and helping to:Lose WeightDetoxify the BodyIncrease EnergyFight Heart DiseasePrevent Diabetes, Depression and Certain CancersBoost the Immune SystemImprove Skin and HairThese delicious Green Smoothie recipes will help you lose weight, have increased energy, and improve your overall health!

    . . You are the light of the world. Matthew 5:13-14 I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church. Matthew 16:18 The world tries to define us in different ways. We try to define ourselves one way or another. But who are we really? How does God define us? The Gospel of Matthew was written to a group of Christians who didn't yet know who they were. They were faithful Jews in the synagogue community in Galilee who had found the Messiah. Jesus had changed everything. But how should they think of themselves now, as Jewish or Christian? What did it all mean? Matthew writes his Gospel to help his readers define their new identity as followers of Jesus the Messiah. Michael Card unpacks how Matthew's emphasis on fulfillment confirms their Jewish connection to the Torah, while his focus on the kingdom helps them understand their new identities in Christ. Matthew presents this process of redefinition as an exercise of the imagination, in which Jesus reshapes who we are in light of who he is. Come alongside Matthew in this pilgrimage, and discover how your new identity in Christ fulfills all that you are meant to be.