Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    Her mother, a distant relative of William Faulkner, told neighbors and family that her daughter had died. The two never saw each other again. Nearly twenty-five years later, after building her own family and happy home life, a lawyer called to say her mother was dead. In this story about the fragility of memory and the complexity of family, Beam decides to look back at her own dark history, and for the secret to her mother’s madness.

    She stopped at no lengths in her campaign to tear him to pieces both mentally and physically. In his chilling memoir, Alex describes how he received the most unnecessary and appalling treatment in mental institutions because of her actions, to the point where his mental and physical health deteriorated to a perilous state. Covering her tracks with cunning deception, his mother began by beating him repeatedly and forcing him to take a dangerous mix of amphetamines and Valium. His health already in balance, and raped by an uncle, the professionals believed his mother's lies. Mental asylums in Greece and the UK followed, as did isolation cells and ECT. But his mother's hatred was to take a more sinister turn still - how much more could Alex take and still survive? Not since Sickened has there been a book that catalogues a child's experience of being made devastatingly ill at the hands of their mother. Dramatic and uniquely shocking, this is a memoir that will haunt the reader long after they close the final page.

    Her older brother, Terry did not go with her because he was ill with flu. Not accompanying her on that fateful day would haunt Terry for the rest of his life. Lesley was abducted by Moors murderers, Ian Brady and Myra Hindley. This is their heart-breaking story, told by Terry. This fascinating and tragic story also includes family photographs and letters from Ian Brady and Myra Hindley.

    If trouble comes calling, Carlton isn't afraid to let his fists do the talking and woe betide anyone who crosses him, or those close to him. At last Carlton gives the full account of his life including how his story has been made into a hugely successful film. Born and raised in East London, Carlton was a key member of the notorious Essex Boys gang and the West Ham InterCity Firm, one of the most violent hooligan gangs to trouble the football terraces during the 1980s. He's been shot at, stabbed, glassed—he's even had an axe in his head. Yet the event that really brought turmoil into his life was the murder of his best friend in the infamous Range Rover murders. Carlton vowed that he would find those responsible and make them pay. There isn't much that Carlton hasn't seen or experienced in his life and his tales of violence, gang wars and close calls with death will have you on the edge of your seat. He knows how close he has come to dying and has therefore shut the door on a gangland life. He may have changed but, as he himself says, "I'll always need to exercise the Carlton Leach brand of justice. It's in me."

    Bewildered by the bizarre and cruel behaviour of her mother and terrified by the violent outbursts of her perpetually angry father, the only certainty in life is that there is none. So when Granddad 'Pop' gives her sweets and does the horrid things he does to her, how is she to know that isn't what all Granddads do? And if it isn't, why does her mother find it funny? Told with honesty and courage, this is the story of a little girl who never stood a chance - who was regularly abused in the most shocking ways by her family and preyed upon by the worst kind of men. Faith went on to have two children in her teens and endured appalling domestic violence but now, after all the suffering, she has turned her life around. Her decades-long journey out of the darkness tells the truth about what happens to abused children when they grow up, in a story that's horrifying and compelling in equal measure.

    Then tragedy struck. When her mother is found dead in Mexico, Lauri finds herself embarking on a journey of discovery. She strives to uncover the identity of her mother’s murderer while struggling against the unbearable guilt of having been powerless to prevent her murder—but what she finds isn’t what she was expecting.Lauri Taylor’s memoir The Accidental Truth: What my mother’s murder investigation taught me about life tells the true story of a woman’s quest as she seeks understanding and atonement. With the help of famed FBI profiler Candice DeLong, Lauri begins her transformation into a skilled and unrelenting investigator, earning the praise of even the most seasoned cold-case detectives. As she works to unearth the secrets buried in her mother’s life and death, key evidence comes to light and a shocking revelation unfolds. The Accidental Truth is a profound narrative of true crime, family bonds, and the grief of sudden death. Lauri Taylor’s achingly intimate story chronicles her personal journey as she empowers herself with truth, finds the courage and compassion to forgive her mother and herself, and eventually learns to let go. -Amazon.com

    And he found his perfect victim. A true story of the ultimate deception.25-year-old Megan Henley put her five-year-old daughter to bed one evening and switched on her laptop. A Facebook ‘friend request’ seemed to be genuine. There were a few common friends and very similar interests, so Megan accepted.With that one simple act, she changed her life forever. In her words: ‘looking back on it, it was as if I had opened my front door to a stranger, as if I had thrown away every precaution I’d ever put in place, as if I had freely given access to my whole world – all because of some naïve belief that it was ‘just’ a friend request on a social media site.’ Megan is tricked into a relationship, paranoia and ultimately betrayal by the man she loved and trusted but nothing is as it seems.

    He rose from poverty in the city's East End to amass a vast fortune from crime and, when he died in 2007, his empire stretched from Glasgow to the Canaries. When he was alive, few would talk openly about the man known as 'The Licensee'. But now his incredible, untold story can finally be revealed. Real stories about the time McGraw cheated The Godfather, risking his life to end a dynasty. How he was behind the UK's biggest coke heist and who paid the price. Who killed the six Doyles in the Ice Cream Wars. Why the BarL Team was never caught even with MI5 on their case. Armed jail breakouts - who arranged them, who grassed them. There are hit contracts, backstabbings, vendettas and scores to settle with everyone from The Godfather to The Devil, M Family, Specky Boyd and Paul Ferris. McGraw did all that and much more yet was never caught. Why? He was The Licensee. Licensed to Commit Crime.

    On the run, he was pursued by bikers and a neo-Nazi gang blood-thirsty for revenge, while a homicide detective launched a nationwide manhunt.As the mist from his smoking gun fades, readers are left with an unexpected portrait of a stoic philosopher with a wealth of charm, a glorious turn of phrase and a fanatical devotion to his daughter.

    He has cult status and commands a respect that few, even in the violent world he moves in, can equal. To him, violence is simply an accepted part of his profession. He doesn't exaggerate it, he can't excuse it and he refuses to apologize for it. His name may mean nothing to you—he's no actor, no showman, no wannabe celebrity. He does, however, live by a merciless code, and though he may not have cloven hooves and a tail, if he goes after someone, all hell comes with him.

    The first of its kind to carry doctors and surgeons who can take the hospital to the patient. Drug addicts, lorry crashes, open-heart surgery, stab wounds, headless chickens, mating llamas, and strip routines - it's all in a day's work for emergency doctor Tony Bleetman and his team.Whether they are landing in the middle of the M1 or at a maximum security jail, Tony and his crew Helimed 999 are the first on the scene in the most critical of emergencies.This gripping read will make you laugh, cry and marvel at the wonders of life (and death) in equal measure.

    The struggle to understand took a lifetime.In 1960s Bristol, Susan's family was like any other with its joys and frustrations, and fierce loyalties. Then tragedy struck and left a legacy that was to last a lifetime.Susan was only nine when her mother died. A year later she was sent away to school. She didn't want to go, and didn't understand why she had to. In her struggle to cope with an uncertain world - a world where nothing seemed to make sense any more - she pushed away the one person she loved best, her father. It wasn't until adulthood beckoned that she realised that, in order to turn their relationship around, she had to learn to love - and trust - again.

    That's the only way I can describe Yare. It's a murderous viper's nest of assassins, cut throats and killers.' When James Miles and his best friend Paul Loseby were caught smuggling ten kilos of cocaine out of Caracas, Venezuela, they couldn't deny their guilt. Young and naive, the lads had thought the one-off drug mule job would be a passport to a better life. But in reality it was a ticket to hell ...They were sentenced to thirty years and flung into the world's deadliest prison system, ending up in the notorious Yare. A place where drugs and weaponry are currency and the rules are: there are no rules.This is the gripping true-life story of how two men endured untold savagery in the most appalling conditions. It's about what it's like to witness murder and rape every day, fearing you'll be next. How it feels to join a dangerous Latino gang and eat dead rats in order to survive. And, what you do when you're at the centre of a riot between thousands of men with machine guns.As seen on Channel 5's Banged Up Abroad , this is the most shocking prison story ever told and an inspiring account of human endurance.

    Mostly from the USA and UK, they bring into sharp focus the extent of the abuse of our critical life-saving services.With cartoons to depict calls and hyperlinks to take the reader to the original audio (some of them released in the public domain by the police and ambulance services in order to show the world how badly a minority of individuals will misuse valuable resources), this book promises to amuse and shock every right-minded person who understands what these services are here for.The author and illustrator are professional front line paramedics, so they know a thing or two about the subject; and from calls to the police for directions to 999 rants about the lack of buses, they have experienced their fair share of such stupidity.You won't believe some of the calls that have been made in the name of personal crisis. You simply won't believe what some people think is an emergency!