What Love Is: And What It Could Be
Carrie S.I. Jenkins - 2017
In What Love Is, philosopher Carrie Jenkins offers a bold new theory on the nature of romantic love that reconciles its humanistic and scientific components. Love can be a social construct (the idea of a perfect fairy-tale romance) and a physical manifestation (those anxiety-inducing heart palpitations); we must recognize its complexities and decide for ourselves how to love. Motivated by her own polyamorous relationships, she examines the ways in which our parameters of love have recently changed—to be more accepting of homosexual, interracial, and non-monogamous relationships—and how they will continue to evolve in the future. Full of anecdotal, cultural, and scientific reflections on love, What Love Is is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand what it means to say “I love you.” Whether young or old, gay or straight, male or female, polyamorous or monogamous, this book will help each of us decide for ourselves how we choose to love.
Cultivate: A Grace-Filled Guide to Growing an Intentional Life
Lara Casey - 2017
Instead they feel inadequate, overwhelmed, paralyzed by fear and insecurity, and are exhausted simply trying to figure out where to begin. “The secret to living a flourishing life isn’t in engineering the perfect circumstances or having it all together. The secret is in the small,” says author and speaker Lara Casey. “It’s easier than you think to cultivate what matters. It all starts with a tiny seed.”Welcome to the journey of getting messy in the rich soil of possibility—embracing imperfect, grace-filled progress to grow a life of joy.Written as part encouragement anthem and part practical guide, Cultivate equips women to uncover and take action on goals that simplify life. Lara's signature “goal gardening” steps release them from the pressure to achieve and gives them freedom to move from planning to planting. Readers will walk through each season, finding balance as they interact in fresh ways with their current life scenarios, with God, and in the communities where they are planted. "You don't have to be perfect; you just have to plant! As you open this book, you are making a decision to leave the dry soil behind. You will lean in . . . and unrush your life. And in the process you will unearth your purpose."Special features includeGoal Gardening Stepsan eight-week Fruitful Goal Gardening Guide with questions for small groupsGardening 101 to start your own real-life flower or vegetable gardenFind the joy and the freedom that comes in cultivating. Cultivate your faith. Don’t fertilize the fear. And watch how your life flourishes in the days ahead!
Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer
Heather Lende - 2015
Now she’s distilled what she’s learned about how to live a more exhilarating and meaningful life into three words: find the good. It’s that simple--and that hard. Quirky and profound, individual and universal, Find the Good offers up short chapters that help us unlearn the habit--and it is a habit--of seeing only the negatives. Lende reminds us that we can choose to see any event--starting a new job or being laid off from an old one, getting married or getting divorced--as an opportunity to find the good. As she says, “We are all writing our own obituary every day by how we live. The best news is that there’s still time for additions and revisions before it goes to press.” Ever since Algonquin published her first book, the New York Times bestseller If You Lived Here, I’d Know Your Name, Heather Lende has been praised for her storytelling talent and her plainspoken wisdom. The Los Angeles Times called her “part Annie Dillard, part Anne Lamott,” and that comparison has never been more apt as she gives us a fresh, positive perspective from which to view our relationships, our obligations, our priorities, our community, and our world. An antidote to the cynicism and self-centeredness that we are bombarded with every day in the news, in our politics, and even at times in ourselves, Find the Good helps us rediscover what’s right with the world. “Heather Lende’s small town is populated with big hearts--she finds them on the beach, walking her granddaughters, in the stories of ordinary peoples’ lives, and knits them into unforgettable tales. Find the Good is a treasure.” —Jo-Ann Mapson, author of Owen’s Daughter “Find the Good is excellent company in unsteady times . . . Heather Lende is the kind of person you want to sit across the kitchen table from on a rainy afternoon with a bottomless cup of tea. When things go wrong, when things go right, her quiet, commonsense wisdom, self-examining frankness, and good-natured humor offer a chance to reset, renew, rebalance.” —Pam Houston, author of Contents May Have Shifted “With gentle humor and empathy [Lende] introduces a number of people who provide examples of how to live well . . . [Find the Good] is simple yet profound.” —Booklist “In this cynical world, Find the Good is a tonic, a literary wellspring, which will continue to run, and nurture, even in times of drought. What a brave and beautiful thing Heather Lende has made with this book.” —John Straley, Shamus Award winner and former writer laureate of Alaska “Heather Lende is a terrific writer and terrific company: intimate, authentic, and as quirky as any of her subjects.” —Marilyn Johnson, author of The Dead Beat
A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted
Will Bowen - 2007
Big words? Yes, but this is a plan that has already proven itself with millions of people around the world. Pastor Will Bowen developed the life-changing A Complaint Free World plan based on the simple idea that good things will happen for you in abundance if you can just leave your grumbling behind. In a Sunday-morning sermon, Will told his congregation he wanted to make the world a complaint-free zone and, to prove he was serious, he passed out purple bracelets to each church member and offered them a challenge. "If you catch yourself complaining, take the bracelet and move it to the other wrist." Now, less than a year later, more than six million people have taken up the challenge, trying to go twenty-one consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, and in so doing, forming a new, positive habit. By changing your words, you can change your thoughts and then begin to create your life by design. People have shared stories with Will of chronic pain relieved, relationships healed, careers improved, and becoming an overall happier person. Less pain, improved health, satisfying relationships, a better job, being more serene and joyous—sound good? It’s not only possible, it’s probable. Consciously striving to reformat your mental hard drive is not easy, but you can start now by using the steps Bowen presents here. In this book, you can learn what constitutes a complaint, why we complain, what benefits we think we receive from complaining, how complaining is destructive to our lives, and how we can get others around us to stop complaining. You will learn the steps to eradicating this poisonous form of expression from your life. If you stay with it, you will find that not only will you not complain, but others around you will cease to do so as well. In a short period of time, you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of having.
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
Emerson Eggerichs - 2004
Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the Love & Respect message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some Love and Respect.A wife has one driving need?to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need?to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love & Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily, and biblically.What readers say about Love & Respect“I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught.”“This is the key that I have been missing.”“You connected all the dots for me.”“As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material.”“You’re on to something huge here.”Partner Love & Respect with the Love & Respect Workbook for Couples, Individuals, and Groups for an added experience. Love & Respect is also available in Spanish, Amor y Respeto.
Decluttering at the Speed of Life: Winning Your Never-Ending Battle with Stuff
Dana K. White - 2018
Yet a home with too much stuff is a home that is difficult to maintain, so where do we begin? Add in paralyzing emotional attachments and constant life challenges, and it can feel almost impossible to make real decluttering progress.In Decluttering at the Speed of Life, decluttering expert and author Dana White identifies the mind-sets and emotional challenges that make it difficult to declutter. Then, in her signature humorous approach, she provides workable solutions to break through these struggles and get clutter out--for good!But more than simply offering strategies, Dana dives deep into how to implement them, no matter the reader's clutter level or emotional resistance to decluttering. She helps identify procrasticlutter--the stuff that will get done eventually so it doesn't seem urgent--as well as how to make progress when there's no time to declutter.Sections of the book includeWhy You Need This Book (You Know Why)Your Unique HomeDecluttering in the Midst of Real LifeChange Your Mind, Change Your HomeBreaking Through Your Decluttering DelusionsWorking It Out Room by RoomHelping Others DeclutterReal Life Goes On (and On)As long as we're living and breathing, new clutter will appear. The good news is that decluttering can get easier, become more natural, and require significantly fewer hours, less emotional bandwidth, and little to no sweat to keep going.
The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything
Stephen M.R. Covey - 2006
Covey's eldest son comes a revolutionary new path towards productivity and satisfaction. Trust, says Stephen M.R. Covey, is the very basis of the new global economy, and he shows how trustand the speed at which it is established with clients, employees and constituents is the essential ingredient for any highperformance, successful organization. For business leaders and public figures in any arena, The Speed of Trust offers an unprecedented and eminently practical look at exactly how trust functions in our every transaction and relationshipfrom the most personal to the broadest, most indirect interactionand how to establish trust immediately so that you and your organization can forego the timekilling, bureaucratic checkandbalance processes so often deployed in lieu of actual trust.
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
Meg Meeker - 2006
That’s right—and teen health expert Dr. Meg Meeker has the data and clinical experience to prove it. After more than twenty years of counseling girls, she knows that fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for their daughters’ lives. Now Dr. Meeker, author of the critically acclaimed Epidemic: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids, shows you how to strengthen—or rebuild—your bond with your daughter, and how to use it to shape her life, and yours, for the better. Directly challenging the feminist attack on traditional masculinity, Dr. Meeker demonstrates that the most important factor for girls growing up into confident, well-adjusted women is a strong father with conservative values. To have one, she shows, is the best protection against eating disorders, failure in school, STDs, unwed pregnancy, and drug or alcohol abuse—and the best predictor of academic achievement, successful marriage, and a satisfying emotional life. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters reveals: • The essential characteristics and virtues of strong fathers—and how to develop them • How daughters take cues from their fathers on everything from drug use, drinking, smoking, and having sex, to self-esteem, moodiness, and seeking attention from boys • Why girls want you to place restrictions on them (even though they’ll complain when you do) • How to become a hero to your daughter—and why she needs that more than anything • The one mistake fathers make that is the primary cause of girls "hooking up" • Why girls depend on the guidance of fathers through, and even beyond, their college years • Recipe for disaster: the notion that girls "need to make their own decisions andmistakes" • Why girls need God—and how your faith, or lack thereof, will influence her • How to communicate with your daughter—and how not to • True stories of "prodigal daughters"—and how their fathers helped bring them back Dads, you are far more powerful than you think you are. Your daughters need the support that only fathers can provide—and if you are willing to follow Dr. Meeker’s advice on how to guide your daughter, to stand between her and a toxic culture, your rewards will be unmatched
The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
Melissa Orlov - 2010
Going beyond traditional marriage counseling which can often discount the influence of ADHD, this discussion offers advice from the author's personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages—such as nagging, intimacy problems, sudden anger, and memory issues—through the use of descriptions of actual couples and their ADHD struggles and solutions. The first third of the book is dedicated to helping couples identify how ADHD impacts their relationship. The last two-thirds provides a specific set of steps couples can move through to overcome their hurt and anger, once again develop loving ways to interact with each other, and find the joy they’ve lost in their struggles. This book encourages both spouses to become active partners in improving their relationship.
Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality
Christopher Ryan - 2010
Mainstream science--as well as religious and cultural institutions--has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.Ryan and Jethá's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.With intelligence, humor, and wonder, Ryan and Jethá show how our promiscuous past haunts our struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens; why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women; why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality.In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, Sex at Dawn unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do.
Fierce Intimacy: Standing Up to One Another with Love
Terrence Real - 2018
It’s something you do," teaches Terry Real. "It’s a minute-by-minute practice of connecting to others through empathy, vulnerability, and accountability." With Fierce Intimacy, this renowned author offers a revolutionary way of living in connection—one that allows you to cherish your partner, yourself, and your relationship in equal measure.How to Communicate with Love and Respect—Even When You Argue Terry’s approach to relationship is called "full-respect living"—to skillfully and honestly assert your needs while also honoring your partner’s needs. In these six sessions, he presents invaluable training for individuals and couples on developing the skills necessary for this authentic way of connecting. You’ll begin by learning how to clear away the outdated beliefs and habits that keep you from developing healthy self-esteem. Then Terry will help you and your partner transform the Five Losing Strategies that sabotage relationships into the Five Winning Strategies that lead to clear communication, trust, and mutual support. "When we dare to be more vulnerable and open and honest, we are forging new territory," says Terry Real. Whether you’re still seeking a partner or want to breathe new life into your existing relationship, Fierce Intimacy brings you essential tools for connecting with true respect, uncompromising honesty, and ever-deepening love.HIGHLIGHTS • The adaptive child—how to recognize and defuse self-sabotaging habits • Unhealthy self-esteem traps for men and women • Identifying your CNI (Core Negative Image)—a key to making arguments constructive instead of destructive • The Feedback Wheel—a four-step approach to revolutionize your communication • The Five Losing Strategies: our impulses to control, retaliate, and be right all the time • The Five Winning Strategies for shared happiness, connection, and success
The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World
Desmond Tutu - 2013
If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation.Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.
The Psychology of Romantic Love
Nathaniel Branden - 1985
Nathaniel Branden, licensed psychotherapist, lecturer, corporate consultant, and the bestselling author of twenty books including The Psychology of Self-Esteem; The Six Pillars of Self Esteem; and The Art of Living Consciously, explores the nature of romantic love on many levels the philosophical, the historical, the sociological, and the psychological. In The Psychology of Romantic Love, Dr. Branden explores why so many people believe that romantic love is just not possible in today's world. Drawing on his experience with thousands of couples, Dr. Branden finds that romantic love is still possible for anyone who understands its nature and is willing to accept its challenges. Love, according to Dr. Branden, is a pathway not only to extraordinary joy but also to profound self-discovery.
Inward
Yung Pueblo - 2017
It serves as a reminder to the reader that healing, transformation, and freedom are possible.
How to Fall in Love with Anyone: A Memoir in Essays
Mandy Len Catron - 2017
In a series of candid, vulnerable, and wise essays that takes a closer look at what it means to love someone, be loved, and how we present our love to the world, Catron deconstructs her own personal canon of love stories. She delves all the way back to 1944, when her grandparents first met in a coal mining town in Appalachia, to her own dating life as a professor in Vancouver, drawing insights from her fascinating research into the universal psychology, biology, history, and literature of love. She uses biologists’ research into dopamine triggers to ask whether the need to love is an innate human drive. She uses literary theory to show why we prefer certain kinds of love stories. She urges us to question the unwritten scripts we follow in relationships and looks into where those scripts come from in the first place. And she tells the story of how she decided to test a psychology experiment that she’d read about—where the goal was to create intimacy between strangers using a list of thirty-six questions—and ended up in the surreal situation of having millions of people following her brand-new relationship. In How to Fall in Love with Anyone Catron flips the script on love and offers a deeply personal, and universal, investigation.