It was Halloween and Samantha`s contractions were unbearable so her husband rushed his pregnant wife to the hospital to deliver their new bundle of joy. Mike told the doctor and nurse to take great care of his wife. The doctor and nurse reassured Mike they would take very good care of her and not to worry. Mike waited patiently in the waiting room as the doctor and nurse delivered their beautiful baby. After a few hours the baby finally arrived and the doctor entered the waiting room and told Mike to come in the room and see his new baby. Mike entered and his wife was all smiles and said "Honey, it`s a boy!" "I think he looks like a Johnny. What do you think?" asked his wife. "Johnny sounds fine to me," replied Mike. Mike was so excited and held his baby boy in his arms as tears rolled down his cheeks and said "Darling, I think he likes me." Mike stayed the night in his wife's room with their new baby, but as they were both sleeping, an unforeseen force came in their room that was about to change their lives forever, when they both woke in the morning. Morning came, and Samantha was discharged from the hospital, and time for their new baby to be raised in their new home. It wasn't until after little Johnny turned 6 years of age that things around the Delany Estate turned deadly. The first sign that Johnny had the mark of the beast was June 6. It was the 6th month, 6th day, and Johnny was 6. All the numbers represented 666.

    He describes parenting as “a million different gears turning in a million different directions, all of them covered in sour milk.” In this inspiring and unconventional book of essays, he sheds light on the darker yet hilarious side of domestic life.Owning up to all his mishaps and dumbassery, Edwards shares essays on just about every topic fellow spouses and parents can appreciate, including: stupid things he’s said to his pregnant wife, the trauma of taking a toddler shopping, revelations on buying a minivan and the struggle to not fight the nosy neighbor (who is five years old).Clint’s funny, heartwarming account of the terrifying yet completely rewarding life of a parent is a breath of fresh air. Each essay in I’m Sorry...Love, Your Husband will have you thinking finally, someone gets it.

    These short books are perfect for adults who are discovering reading for pleasure for the first time. Welcome to the life of a junior doctor. You work 97 hours a week. You make life and death decisions. You are often covered in blood (or worse) from head to toe. And the hospital parking meter earns more money than you do.Adam Kay's diary was written in secret after long days, sleepless nights and missed weekends. It is funny, moving and sometimes shocking. This is everything you wanted to know – and more than a few things you didn't – about life on and off the hospital ward. Specially rewritten for ease of reading by Francesca Main.

    She is always the first on the dancefloor and the very last to stop boogying. She has never tried to dress like a Parisian, never followed advice on what not to wear, and certainly has never tried to tone down her natural pinkness; she knows he is perfect just the way she is. And even when life throws Flamingo a curveball, she is always ready to embrace the unknown and jump straight in.A gorgeous little gift book of motivational sayings and hilarious axioms, Be a Flamingo is a perfect pink pick-me-up gift for a friend who needs a confidence boost, or great as an impulse self-purchase when you feel you need to start tooting your own horn a little louder. Because we could all do worse than taking a leaf out of Flamingo's book.

    It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a persistent young lady with abundant charms and nothing wrong with her. Just published as an e book, exclusive to Amazon, this book was a huge hit in England and America when first published in the 1970s. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.Here's what the critics said about the series:Thoroughly delightful - Fresno BeeHilarious - TitbitsA delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton RougeFor entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacramento BeeDoes for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - BooklistHilarious, written with skill and zest - Grimsby Evening TelegraphVery funny - Citizen, GloucesterThoroughly enjoyable, genuinely funny - South Wales EchoWise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga TimesGood fun - Homes and GardensMost of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford TimesThe funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard GordonJolly good reading - Publishers WeeklyViews the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain DealerSometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening PostTruthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily TelegraphPerceptive and witty - Surrey AdvertiserWill amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Postetc etc

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    At higher levels, testosterone causes destructive male behavior, the two most terrible kinds being: 1. War. 2. Do-it-yourself projects.

    With peace in their lands, Levi and Reece have been living a life of serenity and peace, raising their three young children at Oxley Manor. Everything seems perfect and well until Levi realizes something: a holiday he knows his wife as always loved on her home planet of Earth has never been celebrated in his realm. In fact, Reece hasn't had the privilege of enjoying her favorite holiday in over six years, and Levi vows to change that. But can he? With his sister's wedding at hand, his own daughter professing her love for another as well, and wanting to have a new holiday introduced to Pemdas...Levi is determined to find a way to make all of this work no matter the sacrifices he must make.

    Once you've met Jim Fosse you'll never feel quite the same about opening your e-mails ...A darkly humorous short story of obsession from John Dolan, author of 'Everyone Burns'.WARNING: Contains sexual references and some really terrible grammar.

    

    One of three very distinct - but subtly linked - novels written by major authors who are fans of the game, this novel will be a must-buy not only the 25,000+ people who funded the new game on kickstarter, but also for all of those fans of the original game.On what might be the worst planet in the universe, a young man dreams of the stars. Adventure! Lasers! Women! And the ultimate goal - to become Elite!Unfortunately, Misha has to do his chores first. And learn how to talk to Phoebe, the beautiful customs officer. And leave the planet.But the death of a famous author unexpectedly drags Misha and Phoebe into a system-wide conspiracy, complete with smuggling, international art thieves, multi-system corporations, canapŽs and exploding pigs. This is Misha's chance to prove he has what it takes!After all, surely anyone can be Elite if they dream...

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    In this book we remember those who have been lost to this treacherous landscape.Game of Thrones: In Memoriam is a tribute to many of the memorable characters that have died during the course of the first four seasons of the award-winning HBO series. The book includes quotes, character profiles, and is fully illustrated with series photography throughout.

    A land of technological marvels swallowed up by the ocean. Experts argue over whether it ever existed as more than a thought experiment. Were there real events behind the story? Explorers searched for it, but never found convincing evidence. Most thought Atlantis was just than a legend…Until it came back.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: First Among Sequels, the Eyre Affair, Lost in a Good Book, the Well of Lost Plots, Something Rotten, the Big Over Easy, the Fourth Bear, Shades of Grey 1: the Road to High Saffron. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: First Among Sequels is an alternate history, comic fantasy novel by the British author Jasper Fforde. It is the fifth Thursday Next novel, first published on 5 July 2007 in the UK, and on 24 July 2007 in the USA. The novel follows the continuing adventures of Thursday Next in her fictional version of Swindon and in the BookWorld, and is the first of a new four-part Nextian series. The title was originally announced, at the end of Fforde's novel The Fourth Bear, as The War of the Words. In order to save the future, undercover SpecOps investigator Thursday Next attempts to convince her son Friday to join the ChronoGuard. To complicate matters, she'll have to deal with renegade apprentices, ruthless corporations, and a sting operation from the Cheese Enforcement Agency. The title First Among Sequels was met with stiff resistance from Fforde's publishers because it had 'sequel' in the title, and it was felt that telegraphing the 'sequelness' of the book might be a bad move. It was decided, however, to capitalise on the fact that this was a series - a sort of 'Have you discovered Thursday Next yet?' approach to marketing. First Among Sequels is the first part of a new four-part Thursday Next series, which is reported to be continued with One of our Thursdays is Missing in 2009. The title is a parody of First Among Equals, which is the title of a best-selling Jeffrey Archer novel, but also comes from the English translation of the Latin phrase primus inter pares. It is traditionally used to describe the position...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=602795