The Mammoth Book of Losers
Karl Shaw - 2014
It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.
Isn't it well for ye? The Book of Irish Mammies
Colm O'Regan - 2012
She's never short of advice, a kind word and a cup of tea (making sure to scald the teapot first, of course).Bring the coat anyway. If it's too hot you can take it off.Comedian Colm O'Regan explores the phenomenon of the Irish Mammy and what she might say about everything from the 'new mass' to the cardinal sin of not owning a cough bottle and the importance of airing clothes properly. The global influence of the Irish Mammy, through history, science, politics and literature, is undeniable. Did you know, for instance, that Hamlet had an Irish Mammy?So if you're an Irish Mammy, have one, know one or suspect you might be turning into one, this book will act as your guide. But be aware that though this book might think it knows it all, it doesn't, only Mammy knows it all.
Nobody Eats Parsley: And other things I learned from my family
David Oakley - 2020
They're so ridiculous you may think they're fiction. Like the time I went to a drive-in X-rated movie without realizing my parents were in the next car. Or the time I let my kid throw a rock through our living room window. There's the time I bought a camouflage thong in a bait shop and the time I ruined a kid's birthday party. And the other time I ruined a kid's birthday party. I can't guarantee that these stories will make you laugh, but I can guarantee that I didn't make them up.
How To Succeed At Aging Without Really Dying
Lyla Blake Ward - 2009
Most of all, it’s about the difficulties of staying on the planet when it’s spinning out of control.While taking a humorous look at health, grandparenthood, computers, and social issues, How to Succeed… answers such pressing questions as: What brand of yogurt guarantees you will live to 110? Can older people really shop online, or is the "submit order" button visible only to users under 30? And how many pixels does it take to win your grandchild’s affection?As we get older, we can whine or complain about our losses--memory, muscles, and mobility--or we can roll with the paunches. This book rolls.
Chasing Grace: Reflections of a Catholic Girl, Grown Up
Martha Manning - 1996
The eldest child of a devout Irish-American Catholic family, Martha Manning weaves her story around the seven holy sacraments: baptism, penance, communion, confirmation, holy orders, marriage and last rites. She recalls her childhood pratfalls, adolescent yearnings and entrance into motherhood with wisdom, wit and remarkable honesty. At once poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, Chasing Grace is a wholly original tale of family and friends, happy times and difficult ones -- and thepainful, joyous journey from childhood to adulthood.
How to cope with Mitchell and Webb
David Mitchell - 2009
guide addressing various scenarios, and everyday situations.
The Best Medicine: Tales of Humor and Hope from a Small-Town Doctor
Walt Larimore - 2020
Walt Larimore moved his young family to Kissimmee, Florida, to start a small-town medical practice in 1985, he had no idea he was embarking on an enterprise that would change his life in ways both large and small. But there's no telling what you'll run into as a family physician in a rural, small-town community.Perfect for anyone yearning for a simpler, slower pace of life, as well as fans of Dr. Larimore's popular Bryson City series, The Best Medicine is a tender and insightful collection of stories chronicling one young doctor's passage from inexperience to maturity as a physician, husband, father, and community member. Filled with characters colorful and crusty, warm-hearted and hot-headed, witty and winsome, these captivating stories glow with warmth, love, and humor. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll wish Dr. Larimore was your doctor.
Sez Who? Sez Me
Mike Royko - 1982
More than a decade's worth of essays by the Pulitzer Prize winning syndicated columnist capture the essence of big city American life, from neighborhood taverns to backroom politics.
A Goomba's Guide to Life
Steven R. Schirripa - 2002
Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.
What Do We Do Now?: Keith and The Girl's Smart Answers to Your Stupid Relationship Questions
Keith Malley - 2010
I’m young and I want to move on. Am I a bad person?• Why does my boyfriend always adjust himself in public?• My wife dresses like a slut. How do I make her stop?• My boyfriend’s number one friend on MySpace is his ex. Should I be concerned?With he-said, she-said advice that is both raw and honest, What Do We Do Now? is sure to appeal to the podcast’s legion of fans, and attract a brand-new audience tired of the tried-and-not-so-true relationship manuals.