In fact, he can even write. And the story he has to tell is a truly disturbing—yet strangely heartwarming—one.Convinced he'll bring about a peaceful coexistence between zombies and humans if he can demonstrate his unique condition to Howard Stein, the man responsible for the zombie virus, Barnes sets off on a grueling cross-country journey to meet his maker. Along the way he recruits a small army of "super" zombies that will stop at nothing to reach their goal. There's Guts, the dreadlocked boy who can run like the wind; Joan, the matronly nurse adept at reattaching decaying appendages; Annie, the young girl with a fierce quick-draw; and Ros, who can actually speak. United they embark on an epic quest to attain what all men, women—and, apparently, zombies—yearn for: equality.Brains is a blood-soaked, darkly humorous story that will have readers rooting for Barnes and his zombie posse to the very end.

    But what she finds is a place wrought with mystery, shady dealings, and more instability than she anticipates. The Starborn Ascension takes place 57 years before The Starborn Uprising, and can be read independently.

    Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked.

    With fears of contracting the H1N1 virus running rampant throughout the country, people lined up in droves to try an attain one of the coveted vaccines. What was not known, was the effect this largely untested, rushed to market, inoculation was to have on the unsuspecting throngs. Within days, feverish folk throughout the country, convulsed, collapsed and died, only to be re-born. With a taste for brains, blood and bodies, these modern day zombies scoured the lands for their next meal. Overnight the country became a killing ground for the hordes of zombies that ravaged the land.This is the story of Michael Talbot, his family and his friends. This is their story a band of ordinary people just trying to get by in these extra-ordinary times. When disaster strikes, Mike a self-proclaimed survivalist, does his best to ensure the safety and security of those he cares for.Book 1 of the Zombie Fall-Out Trilogy follows our lead character in his self-deprecating, sarcastic best. What he encounters along the way leads him down a long dark road always skirting on the edge of insanity. Can he keep his family safe? Can he discover the secret behind Tommy's powers? Can he save anyone from the zombie Queen - a zombie that seems by all accounts to have some sort of hold over the zombies and Mike himself? Encircled in a seemingly safe haven called Little Turtle, Mike and his family together with the remnants of a tattered community while not fighting each other, fight against a relentless, ruthless, unstoppable force. This last bastion of civilization has made its final stand. God help them all.

    So while it might be a love story, it's also about killing people and disposing of their bodies in the most efficient manner possible.DEAD PIG COLLECTOR introduces readers to Mister Sun, a very proficient businessman whose trade is the murder and spotless removal of human beings. Like any businessman, he knows each transaction is only as good as his client - and today's client, in Los Angeles, has turned out to be so dangerously stupid that Mister Sun's work and life are now in jeopardy...

    Ex-British Intelligence Officer Dave Johnson has arrived to isolate himself after his fiancee is murdered during a mission that went terribly wrong. But excavations for the new shopping centre unearth a mysterious contagion that threatens to throw their lives into chaos. Now the residents of Whiteshead are trapped within a quarantine zone with the military on one side and ravenous hordes on the other. Escape is no longer an option. Far out in the mouth of the estuary a small keep sits forlornly surrounded by an apron of jagged rocks. This refuge has always been unassailable, a place of myth and legend that has grown in folklore through the years. Now, it's the survivors' only hope of sanctuary. But there are thousands of flesh-eating infected between them and the keep and time is running out ...

    Little is known about the author before he turned into a zombie, but thanks to his continued writings in this journal - even after his death - you can accompany him from infection to demise. Through the intimate poetry of haiku, the zombie chronicles his epic journey through deserted streets and barricaded doors. Each three-line poem, structured in the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure, unravels a little more of the story. You'll love every eye-popping, gut-wrenching, flesh-eating page!

    Through nine thrilling novels, this handy eBook bundle features the action, the intrigue, and the entire evolving story of these unique space corps—units that are comprised of a diverse group of pilots determined to fight the good fight. This bundle includes the following titles:  ROGUE SQUADRONWEDGE’S GAMBLETHE KRYTOS TRAPTHE BACTA WARWRAITH SQUADRONIRON FISTSOLO COMMANDISARD’S REVENGESTARFIGHTERS OF ADUMAR

    After 99% of the population of the planet is killed in less than 24 hours, for the very few who have managed to stay alive, things are about to get much worse. Animated by phase two of some unknown contagion, the dead begin to rise. At first slow, blind, dumb and lumbering, quickly the bodies regain their most basic senses and abilities... sight, hearing, locomotion... As well as the instinct toward aggression and violence. Held back only by the restraints of their rapidly decomposing flesh, the dead seem to have only one single goal - to lumber forth and destroy the sole remaining attraction in the silent, lifeless world: those who have survived the plague, who now find themselves outnumbered 1,000,000 to 1...Without ever using the 'Z' word, Autumn offers a new perspective on the traditional zombie story. There's no flesh eating, no fast-moving corpses, no gore for gore's sake. Combining the atmosphere and tone of George Romero's classic living dead films with the attitude and awareness of 28 Days (and Weeks) later, this horrifying and suspenseful novel is filled with relentless cold, dark fear.

    Learn how to slow down and move at your own pace, become your own boss, and just devour those irritating people who get in your way.Do you struggle out of bed each morning and sway lifelessly across the room, mouth agape, arms hanging slack, murmuring unintelligibly? Well, take heart: you’re not alone! But these other staggering, limp, perpetually drowsy folks just happen to be zombies—and it turns out they can teach us a lot about enjoying life. And only here, between the covers of this book, will you learn their secrets to happiness.And there’s more, because zombies can offer no-nonsense advice on love, playing to your strengths, and more. The table of contents includes:The 24 Habits of Highly Effective ZombiesSlow Down! (You Move Too Fast)Be Your Own BossStrength in NumbersNo Credit Letting Go of Your Ego and Adopting a Zombie’s Spirit of CooperationAnd much more!Learn how to love your undead yourself and succeed in the real world.“We’ve all heard the slurs and stereotypes, but few people stop to consider how much humans have to learn from zombies. What about all the good things zombies do? This book is a guide through the life lessons that can be gleaned from one of the netherworld’s most successful creatures: the implacable, untamable zombie. Whatever your setback or ailment, zombies feel your pain. Have you ever felt as if other people were smarter than you? Quicker on the uptake? Zombies feel this way every day. Have you ever been tongue-tied while those around you knew exactly what to say? (Maybe when you did speak, it came out as nothing more than some guttural croaks and gurgles, and possibly very simple words like ‘brains?’). Zombies haven’t let this stop them. Do you drool at inappropriate times? Stagger when you walk? Stare unblinkingly at passersby, sometimes for hours on end, unnerving each one of them?”

    and ad copy, corporate brochures and Web site headlines, too. His wide range of experience informs this collection of essays on writing and the writing life, taken from his popular personal Web site, The Whatever. Whether providing practical advice, discussing writing and writers or observing the state of the writing world, Scalzi lays it out in a sharp, no-nonsense way that assumes you want the lay of the land, without all the huggy-squeezy hand-holding. Notes on the writing life, unvarnished views of writers and books and (yes) even some practical advice: It's all here.

    Become entranced with the basic struggle of good vs. evil as you travel to a galaxy far, far away.

    He must brave the savage streets to escape downtown Seattle in order to save his six-year-old son and his cruelly, vindictive ex-wife, but first he has to figure out how to escape the zombie standing outside the door of his bathroom stall.This tale is packed with dark humor, gratuitous gore, and extreme violence. It's a nonstop, action packed thrill ride. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll run screaming in terror!Come on people how many more cliches do you need? It's a book about zombies; buy it, love it, and recommend it to your friends.

    In response, the distressed mother, who grew up a Quaker and has never seen a gun, steals weapons from the sheriff’s office and tools from a local hardware store. Frantically racing to rescue her stolen daughter, she is surprised to discover she knows how to expertly handle these dangerous, heavy tools. And it suddenly occurs to Karen that not only has her town changed, she has no idea who she is either!

    During her bumbling quest to unveil the truth, she crosses paths with Terry and Geldof, and together they set out to escape a quarantined Britain with the evidence and vital data that could unlock a cure for the virus.Standing in the way are rampaging hordes of animals, a ruthless security agent and an army ready to shoot anybody with a case of the sniffles on the off-chance the virus has mutated.Three losers. Overwhelming odds. A single outcome: the world is screwed.